The Big Barcelona Swinging Party - HITTER
Bojan had no idea what that slip of paper meant, but the words printed on it terrified him. He had never been summoned to Pep’s office, and few players have been there since Pep had taken over, but he knew very well it wasn’t good.
He was almost shaking when he knocked at the door, still holding the crumpled paper in his closed fist.
Pep sat at his desk, looking stern. Pep always looked stern when he was sat behind his desk, almost like he was a schoolteacher. Bojan felt a laughter attack coming and he tried his best to suppress it, as it was hardly the moment.
“Bojan, sit.”
He didn’t like to be confused with a dog. That rattled him a bit, making him forget his fear.
“I don’t know if you did it on purpose…I hope to God you didn’t. Because that would be low, very, very low, and it’d mean immediate expulsion.”
Fear crept back into Bojan’s system. Whatever he was being accused of, he had no idea how he was going to get out of it.
“Wha-what?” he stammered.
“Let’s spill the beans. You are accused - Zlatan is accusing you - of ruining his season.”
Bojan’s jaw dropped in horrified surprised, then closed back soundlessly. He was trying very hard to not start screaming as many whats as he felt were coming to his lips. He couldn’t grasp how the big man would gather this, and how on earth did he actually interfere with Zlatan’s season…
His eyes wandered around the office, out the window, towards the pictures, at the paperweight in shape of a football on top of Pep’s desk, at the computer screen he saw the back of, avoiding Pep’s eyes like the plague.
He took deep breaths. Surely there was a misunderstanding, surely it was a joke? Zlatan was known to be a prankster and he had not pulled one since his arrival, maybe this was it? But what if it wasn’t? He was starting now, and Zlatan was a sub. What if something terrible had happened that pointed to him and everyone got the wrong impression?
He was not calming himself down thinking like that. He needed an explanation.
“I don’t understand.” He said as low as he could, staring at his hands.
“I didn’t think you would, not from the beginning.”
Pep turned the computer screen towards Bojan and showed him the picture displayed.
Bojan looked at the picture closely. He could feel jealousy biting him already, anger replacing any of his other emotions.
“This is not enough, you have to listen to this.”
Pep opened media player and pressed play.
”Zlatan, I know you’re upset. If I were you, I’d probably be as well. It was just a misunderstanding, I never meant to play with your feelings….” Gerard’s taped voice spoke softly, apologetically.
“Gerard. This is making things worse, don’t you think? What did you actually imagine, that I was after some casual sex?”
“Actually yes.” Gerard sounded a little less soft now; he was getting slightly annoyed. “Look…like I said, I was told…”
There was a pause, during which Bojan looked Pep in the eye for the first time.
”You were told what?”
“Bojan. This is all Bojan’s fault.”
The tape ended with the sentencing words and a bang. Bojan slung back in the chair, face drained of blood.
“So, it’s your fault. From what it has been explained to me already, I cannot understand how, but - and you can trust me on this one - Zlatan is adamant about it, it’s only your scheming that lead to his demise…but I’ll let you explain further on.”
Pep smiled at Bojan, in a let’s see how you get out of this one, young man, a principal’s smile that terrified the young striker.
He straightened his position in the chair. He knew what he wanted to say and hoped it would put another spin to the whole story, but he simply didn’t know where to begin.
“Come on Krkic. Just spill it out already. I’ve had enough drama for a day and I want to get to the bottom of this ASAP!”
Pep only called his players by their family names in extreme situations, so Bojan gulped down and started fidgeting.
“Could I have a glass of water? It’s gonna be a long story…” he asked, as politely as he could.
Pep sighed and offered Bojan the bottle. With no glass in sight, Bojan took a sip and then screwed the cap back on, placing the bottle in his lap, for convenience.
“We’re all young in this team, like some of us, really young, you know Pep? Even the older guys, they’re still quite young….”
“Ok, if you’re gonna send me on a wild goose chase, just forget it!”
“No, no, this is part of the explanation as much as anything!” Bojan pleaded. “I told you it’s a long story.”
“Jeez. Ok. Continue then.”
“This leads to a lot of heart flutter. A lot. When I debuted, I was a little overwhelmed. But Thierry took me under his wing, he mentored me, and well, we were together for a while. But even then…even when I was with Titi, and despite how much he loved me, my heart wondered…and so did other parts of me. I’m not too ashamed to say Frank didn’t play me that often because I was that good….if you know what I mean.”
“Oh really?”
Bojan blushed. He felt stupid now, revealing one of the best-kept secrets regarding his promotion to the main team, to Pep of all people….
“Well, yeah. It wasn’t like you think. It was…well, different then how you think….”
“It’s ok, I am getting the feeling debating why you were sleeping with Rijkaard won’t help us solve this issue at hand. So go on….”
“Right. The season ended and Frank left. My future was uncertain, hmmm…and I wanted to experiment, you know? if I wasn’t going to play much, at least I could ‘play’ a bit. So I left Thierry. I never actually finished it with him, just you know, I let him understand I have moved on…to better prospects….”
“Gerard.”
“Yes. Gerard and I fell in love. I knew what they said about him, how he loved to sleep around, but I didn’t care as long as he loved me that moment that we were together. And that flame lasted…well, pretty much the rest of the season.”
“Are you getting to the point soon?”
“Not really. But wait, soon it’ll get to the ‘juicy’ part.”
“Carry on then…” Pep rolled his eyes.
“But as the season end approached, I got a little scared. Scared that I’m feeling too much, too soon. That I was uhm…too young to settle down. I wasn’t even 19 and I was already in a strong, committed relationship. That felt a little claustrophobic. So I bailed….”
“Good Lord. And you were worried Gerard loves to sleep around!”
“I KNOW! That was a horrible mistake. Especially that uhm…I didn’t actually tell Gerard it was over…I just declared myself a free agent one day and started flirting around…”
“Even if you’re not guilty of sabotaging Zlatan’s career, you deserve to be punished at least for this.” Pep let out a laugh.
“It gets worse….or better….”
“Let me hear it. This is actually quite entertaining and instructive. I never have time to watch over locker room romance as it is.”
“Gerard felt betrayed, as would anyone, even if I had not done anything with anyone yet. I was just flirting with Andres, who was a little down for some reason I would only find out later. So, Gerard left for the Confederation cup hating me and reconnected with his old Masia partner, with Fabregas.”
Bojan took another sip of water, this time putting the bottle, capless, on Pep’s desk. He began playing with the cap.
“That sort of pissed me off. You know? They seemed to have such great time. I was jealous. I was raging. He had not called once during the summer, not even a drunken curse-full call, and I just sank, because he seemed to have more in common with Cesc than he ever had with me! What if he never loved me? Oh it was awful!”
“But you’re the one that bombed the relationship, without you wanting your teenage freedom, none of that would have happened…”
“Yes, yes, jeez, I know that already! I was grieving. And Andres…he was grieving too. His worries had materialized and Xavi had left him. You have NO idea how hard it is to deal with a Taurus on a rebound. Really, Pep.”
“Xavi left Andres?”
“You didn’t know?”
“I told you…I don’t really pay attention. Yes, I knew they were no longer together, it was obvious from the amount of time you were spending with Andres, but I thought they just separated…”
“Ha Ha. No. Xavi betrayed Andres and then left him. You see, your protégée, he got between them. Just like any youngster looking for an older player to mentor him, just like Titi helped me out. But the other way around. I mean, Xavi wasn’t looking, but Pedro found him anyway…..”
“Pedro seduced Xavi?”
“Yes Pep. What, you thought youngsters sleeping with the coach for a starter spot are faithful?” Bojan chuckled.
Pep waved. He hated the accusation. He had not slept with Pedro more than….a few dozen times!
“At least I was honest with Frank. He knew about the arrangement. It was Titi that didn’t know, of course….”
“Well. I…uhm. Just carry on. Enough with slandering everyone!”
“Ok. Like I said, it gets worse. Pedro seduced and then abandoned Xavi. Turns out Xavi was too quiet for Pedro….or Pedro was - just like me - on the perpetual prowl. You can’t really blame us, we’re young. Now, let’s rewind back to the start of the season. Maxwell and then Zlatan signed for us. And they’ve been a couple since…well, forever.
And such long-term couples seem unbreakable, don’t they? They’re not. Xavi and Andres fell at the first slimy attack. And your beloved Pedro, he wanted something exotic after the Xavi borefest.”
“No way!”
“Pedro moved on to Maxwell and - well, you’ve seen them celebrate. Let’s just say they do the same trick naked too…”
“Wait a minute, how do you know so much info about everyone?”
“It’ll all be revealed soon. It’s not too long now.”
“Ok then.”
Pep was almost aroused and high with all the information, the story Bojan was unraveling was that gripping!
“So. Maxwell left Zlatan, accepting a change of roles. This is probably the moment when Zlatan began his fall from grace. For a macho like him, losing his bitch was probably very hard to take. No pun intended…so, your beloved Pedro caused the initial mental break.”
“Stop accusing Pedro!”
“Stop your favoritism then. Anyway, this was about mid season. Zlatan tried to hook up with Lio. Well, let me just tell you that failed attempt was another dent in his self-confidence. Zlatan is a confidence player, pretty much like myself. Lio doesn’t like Zlatan too much. And he’s also ever so faithful to Gabi. So yeah, that didn’t work out too well for Zlatan.
That’s two blows to his ego, none of which I caused.”
“But you did do something, right? And what happened to Gerard, he’s been left out of the story since the re-hook up with Cesc.”
“Yes, I’m getting to that. Now Gerard…once he got back from his wonderful holiday and realized he was alone, because at the time, I was getting it on with Andres, he tried it with pretty much everyone.”
“Like who?”
“Victor, but that didn’t work out too well, because Vic is not really into this sort of thing. He’s got a kid now and out of the blue, he doesn’t like men anymore…..right…..then even with Carles!”
“Oh. Wow. Now that’s not something I can easily picture…..”
“You don’t want to. Trust me.”
“That bad?”
“Imagine a lions’ fight. That’s it.”
“How do you know?”
“You’ll see. Moving on….Gerard even tried Sergi!” he said, bursting in laughter.
“Sergi!” Pep almost shouted, laughing himself.
“But that didn’t last long. Gerard told me he always had the feeling he would break Sergi.”
“What do you mean?”
“Try Sergi, you’ll know!” he chuckled for a whole minute.
“Ok, Bojan, drink some water, recover and tell me how this ends, why is Gerard blaming you!”
Bojan nodded, did as told and then continued.
“Ok. So, let’s connect the missing threads now. When Andres got injured…you can guess which remorseful player rushed at his side….and well, I had to take a step back, sort of. Gerard, having tried so many different players and seeing me still eager, because - and I must confess - I never stopped loving him, made an attempt for reconciliation.
I was more than willing, only that he gave me that bullshit let’s just be friends talk. No way. But, just to not lose him completely, I agreed. That’s how I know about his endeavours. And a plan sparked in my mind. How to get him to come back to me, fully. I needed to show him that he can look as much as he wants, he will never find someone better. For that purpose, I hooked up, briefly, with Pedro. Technically, I was still with Andres, and he was still with Maxwell, but well, let’s just say the Stuttgart goal I scored changed a lot of things between us. I also needed some inside information from him.
“Like what?”
“Like info on Max and Zlatan’s relationship. Pedro loves to talk in the sack, you have no idea. I mean, you should…..”
“Funny, I never imagined he’d be like this.”
“You just think too highly of him. He’s a little dirty player. That’s what he is. Well, anyway. This is how I caused the final blow in Zlatan’s confidence, turning him into a worthless player…”
“God, finally!”
“Yeah. So, I told Gerard - we were just friends, remember that - that Zlatan really likes him. I showed him lots of evidence that Zlatan is after a quick bang and he believed me. I can talk Serbian with Zlatan and I used that in my advantage. And them, I told Zlatan the same thing. That Gerard’s hot for him, like for no other. I got them to meet, either of them unaware of the set up and waited for the outcome…..”
“What was the desired outcome?”
“I imagined Zlatan will go all dominant male on Gerard, like I’ve learned he always does and I imagined Gerard will come crawling back to me. I’d nurse him and seduce him and whatnot, he’d realize I love him….but I guess that didn’t happen….”
“A-ha! Now I have all the pieces of the puzzle. Let me fill you in on what did happen. Zlatan was already short on confidence and learning that someone as handsome and attractive as Gerard is into him really gave him a buzz. He believed in your words and the romantic in him came to life. He’s been in a very long-term relationship and - even with his rep - he was never a one-night stand man. And when he realized Gerard only slept with him for kicks, as a one-time thing, he got really depressed.
Gerard didn’t tell you, because he felt a little weird, but he’s been getting emails and letters and notes from Zlatan since their night together, a night that you have so ‘brilliantly’ set up and while at first he thought it was just a joke, then he understood Zlatan took things seriously and then met - that’s when the photo was taken and the little dialog recorded. Gerard realized you have pulled the strings on the whole affair and didn’t hesitate to say it.
Next thing I know, Zlatan came into my office with the tape and the sob story, that you’ve been plotting against him…..”
“I wasn’t really! All I wanted was Gerard back. But I guess that’s not gonna happen now…is it. He knows I set him up. He must hate me even more than when I ‘left’ him.”
Bojan buried his face in his hands and started sobbing.
“You still love him, don’t you?”
“What will become of me now? Andres is back with Xavi, I don’t really like Pedro that much, Gerard despises me, Zlatan wants me dead….” Bojan looked at Pep, his eyes and cheeks drenched in tears.
“Not to mention you have more serious problems, like causing your teammate’s bad spell…”
“Oh god!” his head fell to his chest, as he covered his face again.
Pep rose from the chair and went round the desk. He was deep in thought, playing with the bottle left on his desk, careful not to spill the water. Everything could be solved easily, if he just put his foot in. He also needed someone to fill him in regarding his players’ love life, that seemingly influenced their performance much more than he had imagined…
“Some players sleep with their coaches to get minutes, other to get promoted or to start games….and some, to avoid being sold or loaned out….”
Pep tapped Bojan’s shoulder lightly. Bojan looked up, wide-eyed.
“I can destroy the tape. No-one knows the whole story but you and I. Zlatan is still in his adaptation period and he is known to be a choker….while you, my boy, you have a bright future here…”
Bojan wiped his eyes and almost smiled. He was saved. As much as he didn’t want to believe this, Pep was going to go for the dirty solution.
“If you’re as entertaining in bed as you were now…I think I’m willing to do it. I know you don’t like me too much, so if it’s any solace, think of this as your punishment for your ‘wondering heart and various parts of your body’.” he said with a devious smile, unzipping his pants.
Bojan knew he had no other choice and it wasn’t even that bad of a punishment for all his wrongdoings. He nodded and got to it.
He was almost shaking when he knocked at the door, still holding the crumpled paper in his closed fist.
Pep sat at his desk, looking stern. Pep always looked stern when he was sat behind his desk, almost like he was a schoolteacher. Bojan felt a laughter attack coming and he tried his best to suppress it, as it was hardly the moment.
“Bojan, sit.”
He didn’t like to be confused with a dog. That rattled him a bit, making him forget his fear.
“I don’t know if you did it on purpose…I hope to God you didn’t. Because that would be low, very, very low, and it’d mean immediate expulsion.”
Fear crept back into Bojan’s system. Whatever he was being accused of, he had no idea how he was going to get out of it.
“Wha-what?” he stammered.
“Let’s spill the beans. You are accused - Zlatan is accusing you - of ruining his season.”
Bojan’s jaw dropped in horrified surprised, then closed back soundlessly. He was trying very hard to not start screaming as many whats as he felt were coming to his lips. He couldn’t grasp how the big man would gather this, and how on earth did he actually interfere with Zlatan’s season…
His eyes wandered around the office, out the window, towards the pictures, at the paperweight in shape of a football on top of Pep’s desk, at the computer screen he saw the back of, avoiding Pep’s eyes like the plague.
He took deep breaths. Surely there was a misunderstanding, surely it was a joke? Zlatan was known to be a prankster and he had not pulled one since his arrival, maybe this was it? But what if it wasn’t? He was starting now, and Zlatan was a sub. What if something terrible had happened that pointed to him and everyone got the wrong impression?
He was not calming himself down thinking like that. He needed an explanation.
“I don’t understand.” He said as low as he could, staring at his hands.
“I didn’t think you would, not from the beginning.”
Pep turned the computer screen towards Bojan and showed him the picture displayed.
Bojan looked at the picture closely. He could feel jealousy biting him already, anger replacing any of his other emotions.
“This is not enough, you have to listen to this.”
Pep opened media player and pressed play.
”Zlatan, I know you’re upset. If I were you, I’d probably be as well. It was just a misunderstanding, I never meant to play with your feelings….” Gerard’s taped voice spoke softly, apologetically.
“Gerard. This is making things worse, don’t you think? What did you actually imagine, that I was after some casual sex?”
“Actually yes.” Gerard sounded a little less soft now; he was getting slightly annoyed. “Look…like I said, I was told…”
There was a pause, during which Bojan looked Pep in the eye for the first time.
”You were told what?”
“Bojan. This is all Bojan’s fault.”
The tape ended with the sentencing words and a bang. Bojan slung back in the chair, face drained of blood.
“So, it’s your fault. From what it has been explained to me already, I cannot understand how, but - and you can trust me on this one - Zlatan is adamant about it, it’s only your scheming that lead to his demise…but I’ll let you explain further on.”
Pep smiled at Bojan, in a let’s see how you get out of this one, young man, a principal’s smile that terrified the young striker.
He straightened his position in the chair. He knew what he wanted to say and hoped it would put another spin to the whole story, but he simply didn’t know where to begin.
“Come on Krkic. Just spill it out already. I’ve had enough drama for a day and I want to get to the bottom of this ASAP!”
Pep only called his players by their family names in extreme situations, so Bojan gulped down and started fidgeting.
“Could I have a glass of water? It’s gonna be a long story…” he asked, as politely as he could.
Pep sighed and offered Bojan the bottle. With no glass in sight, Bojan took a sip and then screwed the cap back on, placing the bottle in his lap, for convenience.
“We’re all young in this team, like some of us, really young, you know Pep? Even the older guys, they’re still quite young….”
“Ok, if you’re gonna send me on a wild goose chase, just forget it!”
“No, no, this is part of the explanation as much as anything!” Bojan pleaded. “I told you it’s a long story.”
“Jeez. Ok. Continue then.”
“This leads to a lot of heart flutter. A lot. When I debuted, I was a little overwhelmed. But Thierry took me under his wing, he mentored me, and well, we were together for a while. But even then…even when I was with Titi, and despite how much he loved me, my heart wondered…and so did other parts of me. I’m not too ashamed to say Frank didn’t play me that often because I was that good….if you know what I mean.”
“Oh really?”
Bojan blushed. He felt stupid now, revealing one of the best-kept secrets regarding his promotion to the main team, to Pep of all people….
“Well, yeah. It wasn’t like you think. It was…well, different then how you think….”
“It’s ok, I am getting the feeling debating why you were sleeping with Rijkaard won’t help us solve this issue at hand. So go on….”
“Right. The season ended and Frank left. My future was uncertain, hmmm…and I wanted to experiment, you know? if I wasn’t going to play much, at least I could ‘play’ a bit. So I left Thierry. I never actually finished it with him, just you know, I let him understand I have moved on…to better prospects….”
“Gerard.”
“Yes. Gerard and I fell in love. I knew what they said about him, how he loved to sleep around, but I didn’t care as long as he loved me that moment that we were together. And that flame lasted…well, pretty much the rest of the season.”
“Are you getting to the point soon?”
“Not really. But wait, soon it’ll get to the ‘juicy’ part.”
“Carry on then…” Pep rolled his eyes.
“But as the season end approached, I got a little scared. Scared that I’m feeling too much, too soon. That I was uhm…too young to settle down. I wasn’t even 19 and I was already in a strong, committed relationship. That felt a little claustrophobic. So I bailed….”
“Good Lord. And you were worried Gerard loves to sleep around!”
“I KNOW! That was a horrible mistake. Especially that uhm…I didn’t actually tell Gerard it was over…I just declared myself a free agent one day and started flirting around…”
“Even if you’re not guilty of sabotaging Zlatan’s career, you deserve to be punished at least for this.” Pep let out a laugh.
“It gets worse….or better….”
“Let me hear it. This is actually quite entertaining and instructive. I never have time to watch over locker room romance as it is.”
“Gerard felt betrayed, as would anyone, even if I had not done anything with anyone yet. I was just flirting with Andres, who was a little down for some reason I would only find out later. So, Gerard left for the Confederation cup hating me and reconnected with his old Masia partner, with Fabregas.”
Bojan took another sip of water, this time putting the bottle, capless, on Pep’s desk. He began playing with the cap.
“That sort of pissed me off. You know? They seemed to have such great time. I was jealous. I was raging. He had not called once during the summer, not even a drunken curse-full call, and I just sank, because he seemed to have more in common with Cesc than he ever had with me! What if he never loved me? Oh it was awful!”
“But you’re the one that bombed the relationship, without you wanting your teenage freedom, none of that would have happened…”
“Yes, yes, jeez, I know that already! I was grieving. And Andres…he was grieving too. His worries had materialized and Xavi had left him. You have NO idea how hard it is to deal with a Taurus on a rebound. Really, Pep.”
“Xavi left Andres?”
“You didn’t know?”
“I told you…I don’t really pay attention. Yes, I knew they were no longer together, it was obvious from the amount of time you were spending with Andres, but I thought they just separated…”
“Ha Ha. No. Xavi betrayed Andres and then left him. You see, your protégée, he got between them. Just like any youngster looking for an older player to mentor him, just like Titi helped me out. But the other way around. I mean, Xavi wasn’t looking, but Pedro found him anyway…..”
“Pedro seduced Xavi?”
“Yes Pep. What, you thought youngsters sleeping with the coach for a starter spot are faithful?” Bojan chuckled.
Pep waved. He hated the accusation. He had not slept with Pedro more than….a few dozen times!
“At least I was honest with Frank. He knew about the arrangement. It was Titi that didn’t know, of course….”
“Well. I…uhm. Just carry on. Enough with slandering everyone!”
“Ok. Like I said, it gets worse. Pedro seduced and then abandoned Xavi. Turns out Xavi was too quiet for Pedro….or Pedro was - just like me - on the perpetual prowl. You can’t really blame us, we’re young. Now, let’s rewind back to the start of the season. Maxwell and then Zlatan signed for us. And they’ve been a couple since…well, forever.
And such long-term couples seem unbreakable, don’t they? They’re not. Xavi and Andres fell at the first slimy attack. And your beloved Pedro, he wanted something exotic after the Xavi borefest.”
“No way!”
“Pedro moved on to Maxwell and - well, you’ve seen them celebrate. Let’s just say they do the same trick naked too…”
“Wait a minute, how do you know so much info about everyone?”
“It’ll all be revealed soon. It’s not too long now.”
“Ok then.”
Pep was almost aroused and high with all the information, the story Bojan was unraveling was that gripping!
“So. Maxwell left Zlatan, accepting a change of roles. This is probably the moment when Zlatan began his fall from grace. For a macho like him, losing his bitch was probably very hard to take. No pun intended…so, your beloved Pedro caused the initial mental break.”
“Stop accusing Pedro!”
“Stop your favoritism then. Anyway, this was about mid season. Zlatan tried to hook up with Lio. Well, let me just tell you that failed attempt was another dent in his self-confidence. Zlatan is a confidence player, pretty much like myself. Lio doesn’t like Zlatan too much. And he’s also ever so faithful to Gabi. So yeah, that didn’t work out too well for Zlatan.
That’s two blows to his ego, none of which I caused.”
“But you did do something, right? And what happened to Gerard, he’s been left out of the story since the re-hook up with Cesc.”
“Yes, I’m getting to that. Now Gerard…once he got back from his wonderful holiday and realized he was alone, because at the time, I was getting it on with Andres, he tried it with pretty much everyone.”
“Like who?”
“Victor, but that didn’t work out too well, because Vic is not really into this sort of thing. He’s got a kid now and out of the blue, he doesn’t like men anymore…..right…..then even with Carles!”
“Oh. Wow. Now that’s not something I can easily picture…..”
“You don’t want to. Trust me.”
“That bad?”
“Imagine a lions’ fight. That’s it.”
“How do you know?”
“You’ll see. Moving on….Gerard even tried Sergi!” he said, bursting in laughter.
“Sergi!” Pep almost shouted, laughing himself.
“But that didn’t last long. Gerard told me he always had the feeling he would break Sergi.”
“What do you mean?”
“Try Sergi, you’ll know!” he chuckled for a whole minute.
“Ok, Bojan, drink some water, recover and tell me how this ends, why is Gerard blaming you!”
Bojan nodded, did as told and then continued.
“Ok. So, let’s connect the missing threads now. When Andres got injured…you can guess which remorseful player rushed at his side….and well, I had to take a step back, sort of. Gerard, having tried so many different players and seeing me still eager, because - and I must confess - I never stopped loving him, made an attempt for reconciliation.
I was more than willing, only that he gave me that bullshit let’s just be friends talk. No way. But, just to not lose him completely, I agreed. That’s how I know about his endeavours. And a plan sparked in my mind. How to get him to come back to me, fully. I needed to show him that he can look as much as he wants, he will never find someone better. For that purpose, I hooked up, briefly, with Pedro. Technically, I was still with Andres, and he was still with Maxwell, but well, let’s just say the Stuttgart goal I scored changed a lot of things between us. I also needed some inside information from him.
“Like what?”
“Like info on Max and Zlatan’s relationship. Pedro loves to talk in the sack, you have no idea. I mean, you should…..”
“Funny, I never imagined he’d be like this.”
“You just think too highly of him. He’s a little dirty player. That’s what he is. Well, anyway. This is how I caused the final blow in Zlatan’s confidence, turning him into a worthless player…”
“God, finally!”
“Yeah. So, I told Gerard - we were just friends, remember that - that Zlatan really likes him. I showed him lots of evidence that Zlatan is after a quick bang and he believed me. I can talk Serbian with Zlatan and I used that in my advantage. And them, I told Zlatan the same thing. That Gerard’s hot for him, like for no other. I got them to meet, either of them unaware of the set up and waited for the outcome…..”
“What was the desired outcome?”
“I imagined Zlatan will go all dominant male on Gerard, like I’ve learned he always does and I imagined Gerard will come crawling back to me. I’d nurse him and seduce him and whatnot, he’d realize I love him….but I guess that didn’t happen….”
“A-ha! Now I have all the pieces of the puzzle. Let me fill you in on what did happen. Zlatan was already short on confidence and learning that someone as handsome and attractive as Gerard is into him really gave him a buzz. He believed in your words and the romantic in him came to life. He’s been in a very long-term relationship and - even with his rep - he was never a one-night stand man. And when he realized Gerard only slept with him for kicks, as a one-time thing, he got really depressed.
Gerard didn’t tell you, because he felt a little weird, but he’s been getting emails and letters and notes from Zlatan since their night together, a night that you have so ‘brilliantly’ set up and while at first he thought it was just a joke, then he understood Zlatan took things seriously and then met - that’s when the photo was taken and the little dialog recorded. Gerard realized you have pulled the strings on the whole affair and didn’t hesitate to say it.
Next thing I know, Zlatan came into my office with the tape and the sob story, that you’ve been plotting against him…..”
“I wasn’t really! All I wanted was Gerard back. But I guess that’s not gonna happen now…is it. He knows I set him up. He must hate me even more than when I ‘left’ him.”
Bojan buried his face in his hands and started sobbing.
“You still love him, don’t you?”
“What will become of me now? Andres is back with Xavi, I don’t really like Pedro that much, Gerard despises me, Zlatan wants me dead….” Bojan looked at Pep, his eyes and cheeks drenched in tears.
“Not to mention you have more serious problems, like causing your teammate’s bad spell…”
“Oh god!” his head fell to his chest, as he covered his face again.
Pep rose from the chair and went round the desk. He was deep in thought, playing with the bottle left on his desk, careful not to spill the water. Everything could be solved easily, if he just put his foot in. He also needed someone to fill him in regarding his players’ love life, that seemingly influenced their performance much more than he had imagined…
“Some players sleep with their coaches to get minutes, other to get promoted or to start games….and some, to avoid being sold or loaned out….”
Pep tapped Bojan’s shoulder lightly. Bojan looked up, wide-eyed.
“I can destroy the tape. No-one knows the whole story but you and I. Zlatan is still in his adaptation period and he is known to be a choker….while you, my boy, you have a bright future here…”
Bojan wiped his eyes and almost smiled. He was saved. As much as he didn’t want to believe this, Pep was going to go for the dirty solution.
“If you’re as entertaining in bed as you were now…I think I’m willing to do it. I know you don’t like me too much, so if it’s any solace, think of this as your punishment for your ‘wondering heart and various parts of your body’.” he said with a devious smile, unzipping his pants.
Bojan knew he had no other choice and it wasn’t even that bad of a punishment for all his wrongdoings. He nodded and got to it.