Comments | altar_of_akito: A Different Variety

katia_chan in altar_of_akito

A Different Variety

Jan 21, 2007 07:53

Request fic 2! I haven't neglected these as badly as I thought.

This one is for toriru4ever

Title: A Different Variety
Character/pairing: hints of Akigure
Request Theme: Akito's first kiss.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: 97

( In her most vulnerable moments, Akito proves that human weakness never goes away. )

Comments 6

I don't comment often ashesoflovers January 24 2007, 13:49:12 UTC

but I noticed you haven't gotten any feedback on this, and you certainly should have some. :)

There's some great characterization and some really wonderful honesty in this vingnette. I loved it, although to be honest, for me it cut a bit close to home! Also, you caught Akito's slightly skewed world view even a a young age perfectly, I think. :) Please to be writing more!

The only *tiny* critique I could offer is that it seems a bit jarring to compare Akito to a typical "girl in the movies". I dunno, I just feel like she doesn't exist in the same sphere that those things do.

Re: I don't comment often katia_chan January 24 2007, 15:04:39 UTC

Thanks for your comment. I really really appreciate it.

Yeah, I know the comparison is a little...off, but it's partially intended like that. the "normal" girl is about as human as you can get persay, so the contrast was supposed to be quite sharp.

Though I would've preferred a slightly better metaphore if I could've come up with one. lol

TTFN

Re: I don't comment often ashesoflovers January 25 2007, 13:23:09 UTC

In any case, I really loved it, and I *do* hope you post more for us. In your request post someone mentioned a story involving Yuki & Akito, it'd be cool to see your treatment of it. :)

friggle January 26 2007, 10:11:23 UTC

Ah, this was great! Not enough tween/teen Akito fics out there, if you ask me. So I was very happy to have read this! Anyway, I can't tell you how much I loved this! Hehe. The first part with Hatori was so appropriate; he's safe, so of course she'd go to him with this first.

And Shigure's part . . . at first, I was wondering if it wasn't a bit OOC for him --- this being pre-series, and pre-Akito/Kureno, that is. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense that he'd be so flippant and mean with her there, even though it was obviously important to her and --- if Akito's little note that Shigure's laugh became breathy and different is any indication --- it was something special to him, too. I mean, after all, like Shigure said, she was still "our Akito" . . . he still had to share her with everyone. It reminds me of what Akito mentioned in chapter 132; that Shigure always appeared indifferent to her, like he didn't mind being all by his lonesome, even though he secretly wanted to be seen and noticed by her ( ... )

katia_chan January 26 2007, 17:57:36 UTC

Yeah, I kind of figured Shigure's always been a manipulative bastard even before Akito stuck a knife in his back...that's just his personality. :)
I hadn't really considered the jealousy factor when I wrote it the first time, but as you've pointed out and as I look back, it does make sense...Shigure would *not* appreciate being second choice. He never has.

Thank you so much for commenting! Once I can hunt down another plot bunny I'll be posting more...any requests of your own? :)

TTFN

toriru4ever March 10 2007, 06:26:12 UTC

omg *marks for memories*
I can't believe i missed this the first time around and you dedicated it to me T____________T
I freaking love it! poor akki she needs a hug and shigure needs a kick hehe
and may ha-san too ^^;

thanks *hugs*