ultimate crack
Inspired by wtf27...
Ces: Okay. ULTIMATE CRACKFIC.
telesilla: ?
anatsuno: the one where the 27 prompts are in it?
anatsuno: + zombies and robots and pirates
telesilla: oh man that would be insane!
Ces: 100 years ago, Dom is a Victorian urchin type, and he discovers winged robot Elijah who has come back from the future in search of Billy, who's a Highlander...
anatsuno: :-)))
telesilla: doooooo eeeeeet!
dragonkal: awesome!
kyuuketsukirui: LOL
Ces: and in order to survive while helping Elijah on his quest, Dom has to turn Elijah out as a rentboy
Ces: periodically Elijah folds up transformer-style and turns into a flying machine
Ces: which Dom uses to travel around in the search
kyuuketsukirui: But Dom is no ordinary urchin, he's a spy for the king!
anatsuno: wings + bots + rentboy + historical au + time travel + crossover + fantasy (classical) + spies...
anatsuno: what did i miss?
dragonkal: I love the Transformer detail.
telesilla: this would make an awesome round robin, you know
anatsuno: inanimate...
Ces: Following Billy, they travel to exotic lands, and Dom is taken into slavery by Orlando
Ces: meanwhile robot!Elijah meets his human double
anatsuno: slavery + fantasy (urban) + doppleganger
anatsuno: (the urban fantasy is belated noticing)
Ces: who is under a curse to turn into a girl every time he's kissed
anatsuno: genderswap! yay
Ces: and eventually becomes pregnant by Orlando
anatsuno: mpreg of course :)
Ces: switching between genders during the pregnancy
anatsuno: OW
Ces: female for the labor! :D
telesilla: *sprofle*
dragonkal: snarf
anatsuno: evol
telesilla: Wot can we bribe you with to write this?
anatsuno: i think Dom is an urchin in high school when it starts
Ces: Orlando can be a were... puppy to fulfill the animal transformation
telesilla: a 27 chapter epic!
Ces: Orli eventually joins the quest as well
anatsuno: and Orli ends up captured by a tentacled monster from under the sea
Ces: yis, okay!
kyuuketsukirui: No, Lij takes Dom back to the future and Dom has to go undercover in a high school.
anatsuno: heee better!
Ces: AND THEN THE WORLD ENDS
telesilla: ROCKS FALL!
anatsuno: UNLESS THEY FUCK!
Ces: but aliens rescue them from the apocalypse
Ces: and make them fuck!
anatsuno: oooh and they make them do it
anatsuno: AND THEN
anatsuno: BILLY WAKES UP GAY
dragonkal: *perks* alien forced!sex woot!
Ces: and take them to another planet where finally! they find Billy! who wakes up gay!
Ces: yes!
anatsuno: *hifive*
telesilla: did you get trading places?
Ces: no! but I will
telesilla: Ok sorry
telesilla: don't mean to rush genius here. *giggles*
anatsuno: also twins/non-canon siblings
Ces: Elijah uses special robot disguise power to switch places with Billy
anatsuno: :D
telesilla: even if you don't write this, you need to post the outline
Ces: um um Billy was in love with Nick Stahl who is Dom's longlost timewarp twin
dragonkal: totally.
Ces: so when Dom takes Billy prisoner so that Elijah can impersonate Billy
Ces: Billy instantly falls in love with him
anatsuno: keram malicki sachez can pop up too
Ces: have we covered everything?
telesilla: pornstars
telesilla: and did you get supernatural powers?
Ces: Nick Stahl was Billy's psychic pornstar boyfriend
telesilla: and Nick Stahl is the media crossover? Cos I dunno the name
anatsuno: highlander was, already
Ces: no, he's an actor, the media crossover is Highlander
anatsuno: Billy is/was a highlander
telesilla: oh right
telesilla: dur
kyuuketsukirui: Too many to keep track of!
telesilla: that's why she needs to post the outline!!
telesilla: to share the funneh. Unless you're gonna write it Ces.
telesilla: *is pornabler*
Ces: actually I can't count Billy the Highlander for that prompt
anatsuno: why?
Ces: It says "This fic has to be written with characters from at least two different mediums."
anatsuno: rrrr.
Ces: so Highlander characters would have to show up and I don't know any
telesilla: well you could have Hobbits show up
kyuuketsukirui: hobbits or Lestat or something
anatsuno: yeah the doppleganger bit can be FRodo
Ces: that would just be silly!
anatsuno: hahahaha
anatsuno: SILLY WOT
kyuuketsukirui: Casey!
telesilla: Or Dom's chara from something else
Ces: CASEY omg.
telesilla: Casey!!! yis!
kyuuketsukirui: When they go undercover in the high school!
Ces: YES.
anatsuno: yesss
anatsuno: perfick
Ces: That's everything!
anatsuno: YAYE
telesilla: Wot's #27?
telesilla: the one they left out?
anatsuno: tidy outline, write fic! PORN IN EVERYCHAPTER
anatsuno: bot!
anatsuno: like yours
telesilla: right@!
Ces: robot, yis
Ces: and it all comes down to Dom having to choose between Highlander Billy, who is utterly smitten with him, vs. robo-transformer-Elijah who is not human and maybe not capable of love
anatsuno: Orlando the were puppy kidnapped by a tentacled monster from the sea
anatsuno: that makes me laff
Ces: :D
telesilla: could be a trio thing!
Ces: yes! ends up with OT3.
telesilla: Billeh and Dom teach robot-transformer to love
Ces: plus Orlando/Elijahdouble
telesilla: yis!
Ces: and Casey/...someone awesome. maybe Nick Stahl, who knows.
telesilla: Orli/Lij/tentacle monster!
telesilla: Lij double I mean
Ces: heee
anatsuno: there is still Lij double? on top of casey? oooh
telesilla: cos tentacle monster is tragically misunderstood and is quite nice really
Ces: hehehe
telesilla: M!Squid: *preens*
Ces: plus hawt tentacle sex
telesilla: oh hell yeah!
kyuuketsukirui: If nothing else, you need to write up the summary.
Ces: ok, I will :-)
*
In Victorian England [23) Out of Time], Dom is a spy for the Queen [26) Spies and Agents], disguised as an urchin. While on a mission, he discovers winged robot Elijah [4) Wings, 27) OMG we forgot ___, robots], who was captured by magic-using [11) Fantasy AU (traditional)] enemies of England.
Dom frees Elijah from the nefarious magical crew, intending to take him into custody for the Crown. But once freed from magic bonds and rebooted, Elijah is beyond Dom's control and determined to fulfill the mission he was sent back from the blighted future to accomplish: finding Billy, who's a half-vampire half-Highlander [9) Supernatural (creatures)] who holds the key to preventing the future apocalypse. Charged by his spy superiors to monitor the robot on behalf of the Queen, Dom goes with Elijah on his quest. Although never before attracted to men, Dom soon wakes up with a furious attraction to Elijah [16) You see, I woke up gay], which he fights for most of the rest of the saga.
Elijah has several powers including the ability to change appearance and the ability to transform into a wearable flying machine [3) Transformation (inanimate)], which comes in handy when they have to cross long distances and water in their search. Unfortunately in order to pay for the journey, Dom has to turn Elijah out as a rentboy occasionally [15) Hookers]. Being a robot and not particularly emotional (yet), Elijah doesn't mind, although Dom does.
Following Billy, they travel to exotic lands. Dom is taken into slavery by Orlando [24) Slaves]. Orlando believes he can never have a normal relationship because he turns into a puppy during the full moon [2) Transformation (animals)]. Meanwhile robot!Elijah meets his human double, Jack Dawkins [21) Doppelganger], who is under a curse to turn into a girl every time he's kissed [1) Genderswap].
When Elijah goes to rescue Dom, Jack comes along, and Orlando becomes smitten with Jack in both male and female forms. Orlando is required to marry and produce an heir to inherit his family's fortune, and Jack agrees on the condition that Orlando will free Dom [18) Forced Union]. They have sex while Jack's female, and Jack becomes pregnant, staying pregnant even while in male form [6) Mpreg].
However, Orlando still believes Jack is only going along with Orlando's wishes because Jack and Elijah are trying to win Dom's freedom, so he refuses to free Dom until the baby is born. Finally Elijah tries to steal Dom by flying him out over the sea, followed by Orlando in a ship. The ship is attacked by a tentacled sea monster which ensnares Orlando [5) Tentacles] who's freed by Jack, risking his/her life to save Orlando. Finally believing in Jack's love, Orlando frees Dom and gives Dom and Elijah enough cash to put the rentboying to an end.
Dom and Elijah continue their search, and they spot Billy at last. But oh noes! The magic-using enemies of England (who bear a striking resemblace to bad wizards from the Harry Potter verse) attack Dom and Elijah, and their spells hurtle the two forward in time to the late 1990s [19) Timeshift].
Half-vampire Highlander Billy is still around, of course, being immortal, so Dom and Elijah find him again. Now Billy has withdrawn from the doings of immortals and magic and so on, and is instead teaching at a high school in Ohio, so Dom and Elijah attend as students [7) High school AU] and meet Casey from The Faculty [25) Media Crossover]. Casey suspects wizards are infiltrating the school [12) Fantasy AU (urban)] which Dom and Elijah are able to confirm. Unfortunately Dom and Elijah aren't able to reach Billy in time to prevent the apocalypse [8) Apocalypse Now].
However, aliens [20) Aliens] detect Elijah's superadvanced robot technology and rescue him, Dom, Billy and Casey from the ongoing end of the world. Curious about Elijah's development beyond his programming, the aliens force Elijah and Dom to have sex [13) Fuck or Die], monitoring Elijah's budding emotional reactions (unbeknownst to Dom).
Meanwhile, it turns out that Billy has sworn off the machinations of immortals, magicians, and other such world-bending types because his heart was broken by Nick Stahl, who was Dom's long-lost twin [22) Twins or Non-canon Siblings], a psychic with uncontrolled time-travel abilities [10) Supernatural (powers)] who left Billy to become a porn star [14) Pornstars]. So robot Elijah uses his disguise ability to impersonate Billy [17) Trading Places] and the aliens send him back in time to prevent the apocalypse in Billy's place.
Meanwhile Dom is left with Billy, who falls deeply in love with Dom thanks to Dom's resemblance to Nick, but considerably more compatible personality.
Elijah returns from preventing the apocalypse, and they all come back to Earth in the year 2000. Nick Stahl comes back humbly to apologize to Billy for treating him poorly, but Billy doesn't want him back, and Nick falls for Casey instead.
So it all comes down to Dom having to choose between Highlander Billy, who is utterly smitten with him, or robo-transformer-Elijah who is not human and, Dom believes, not capable of love. Elijah proves otherwise by nearly suffering a meltdown when he learns that Dom has feelings for Billy.
OT3 wins out in the end, as Billy and Dom teach Elijah how to cope with his powerful new emotions. And they all live forever in their crazy mixed-up crackalicious world. THE END.
Ces: Okay. ULTIMATE CRACKFIC.
telesilla: ?
anatsuno: the one where the 27 prompts are in it?
anatsuno: + zombies and robots and pirates
telesilla: oh man that would be insane!
Ces: 100 years ago, Dom is a Victorian urchin type, and he discovers winged robot Elijah who has come back from the future in search of Billy, who's a Highlander...
anatsuno: :-)))
telesilla: doooooo eeeeeet!
dragonkal: awesome!
kyuuketsukirui: LOL
Ces: and in order to survive while helping Elijah on his quest, Dom has to turn Elijah out as a rentboy
Ces: periodically Elijah folds up transformer-style and turns into a flying machine
Ces: which Dom uses to travel around in the search
kyuuketsukirui: But Dom is no ordinary urchin, he's a spy for the king!
anatsuno: wings + bots + rentboy + historical au + time travel + crossover + fantasy (classical) + spies...
anatsuno: what did i miss?
dragonkal: I love the Transformer detail.
telesilla: this would make an awesome round robin, you know
anatsuno: inanimate...
Ces: Following Billy, they travel to exotic lands, and Dom is taken into slavery by Orlando
Ces: meanwhile robot!Elijah meets his human double
anatsuno: slavery + fantasy (urban) + doppleganger
anatsuno: (the urban fantasy is belated noticing)
Ces: who is under a curse to turn into a girl every time he's kissed
anatsuno: genderswap! yay
Ces: and eventually becomes pregnant by Orlando
anatsuno: mpreg of course :)
Ces: switching between genders during the pregnancy
anatsuno: OW
Ces: female for the labor! :D
telesilla: *sprofle*
dragonkal: snarf
anatsuno: evol
telesilla: Wot can we bribe you with to write this?
anatsuno: i think Dom is an urchin in high school when it starts
Ces: Orlando can be a were... puppy to fulfill the animal transformation
telesilla: a 27 chapter epic!
Ces: Orli eventually joins the quest as well
anatsuno: and Orli ends up captured by a tentacled monster from under the sea
Ces: yis, okay!
kyuuketsukirui: No, Lij takes Dom back to the future and Dom has to go undercover in a high school.
anatsuno: heee better!
Ces: AND THEN THE WORLD ENDS
telesilla: ROCKS FALL!
anatsuno: UNLESS THEY FUCK!
Ces: but aliens rescue them from the apocalypse
Ces: and make them fuck!
anatsuno: oooh and they make them do it
anatsuno: AND THEN
anatsuno: BILLY WAKES UP GAY
dragonkal: *perks* alien forced!sex woot!
Ces: and take them to another planet where finally! they find Billy! who wakes up gay!
Ces: yes!
anatsuno: *hifive*
telesilla: did you get trading places?
Ces: no! but I will
telesilla: Ok sorry
telesilla: don't mean to rush genius here. *giggles*
anatsuno: also twins/non-canon siblings
Ces: Elijah uses special robot disguise power to switch places with Billy
anatsuno: :D
telesilla: even if you don't write this, you need to post the outline
Ces: um um Billy was in love with Nick Stahl who is Dom's longlost timewarp twin
dragonkal: totally.
Ces: so when Dom takes Billy prisoner so that Elijah can impersonate Billy
Ces: Billy instantly falls in love with him
anatsuno: keram malicki sachez can pop up too
Ces: have we covered everything?
telesilla: pornstars
telesilla: and did you get supernatural powers?
Ces: Nick Stahl was Billy's psychic pornstar boyfriend
telesilla: and Nick Stahl is the media crossover? Cos I dunno the name
anatsuno: highlander was, already
Ces: no, he's an actor, the media crossover is Highlander
anatsuno: Billy is/was a highlander
telesilla: oh right
telesilla: dur
kyuuketsukirui: Too many to keep track of!
telesilla: that's why she needs to post the outline!!
telesilla: to share the funneh. Unless you're gonna write it Ces.
telesilla: *is pornabler*
Ces: actually I can't count Billy the Highlander for that prompt
anatsuno: why?
Ces: It says "This fic has to be written with characters from at least two different mediums."
anatsuno: rrrr.
Ces: so Highlander characters would have to show up and I don't know any
telesilla: well you could have Hobbits show up
kyuuketsukirui: hobbits or Lestat or something
anatsuno: yeah the doppleganger bit can be FRodo
Ces: that would just be silly!
anatsuno: hahahaha
anatsuno: SILLY WOT
kyuuketsukirui: Casey!
telesilla: Or Dom's chara from something else
Ces: CASEY omg.
telesilla: Casey!!! yis!
kyuuketsukirui: When they go undercover in the high school!
Ces: YES.
anatsuno: yesss
anatsuno: perfick
Ces: That's everything!
anatsuno: YAYE
telesilla: Wot's #27?
telesilla: the one they left out?
anatsuno: tidy outline, write fic! PORN IN EVERYCHAPTER
anatsuno: bot!
anatsuno: like yours
telesilla: right@!
Ces: robot, yis
Ces: and it all comes down to Dom having to choose between Highlander Billy, who is utterly smitten with him, vs. robo-transformer-Elijah who is not human and maybe not capable of love
anatsuno: Orlando the were puppy kidnapped by a tentacled monster from the sea
anatsuno: that makes me laff
Ces: :D
telesilla: could be a trio thing!
Ces: yes! ends up with OT3.
telesilla: Billeh and Dom teach robot-transformer to love
Ces: plus Orlando/Elijahdouble
telesilla: yis!
Ces: and Casey/...someone awesome. maybe Nick Stahl, who knows.
telesilla: Orli/Lij/tentacle monster!
telesilla: Lij double I mean
Ces: heee
anatsuno: there is still Lij double? on top of casey? oooh
telesilla: cos tentacle monster is tragically misunderstood and is quite nice really
Ces: hehehe
telesilla: M!Squid: *preens*
Ces: plus hawt tentacle sex
telesilla: oh hell yeah!
kyuuketsukirui: If nothing else, you need to write up the summary.
Ces: ok, I will :-)
*
In Victorian England [23) Out of Time], Dom is a spy for the Queen [26) Spies and Agents], disguised as an urchin. While on a mission, he discovers winged robot Elijah [4) Wings, 27) OMG we forgot ___, robots], who was captured by magic-using [11) Fantasy AU (traditional)] enemies of England.
Dom frees Elijah from the nefarious magical crew, intending to take him into custody for the Crown. But once freed from magic bonds and rebooted, Elijah is beyond Dom's control and determined to fulfill the mission he was sent back from the blighted future to accomplish: finding Billy, who's a half-vampire half-Highlander [9) Supernatural (creatures)] who holds the key to preventing the future apocalypse. Charged by his spy superiors to monitor the robot on behalf of the Queen, Dom goes with Elijah on his quest. Although never before attracted to men, Dom soon wakes up with a furious attraction to Elijah [16) You see, I woke up gay], which he fights for most of the rest of the saga.
Elijah has several powers including the ability to change appearance and the ability to transform into a wearable flying machine [3) Transformation (inanimate)], which comes in handy when they have to cross long distances and water in their search. Unfortunately in order to pay for the journey, Dom has to turn Elijah out as a rentboy occasionally [15) Hookers]. Being a robot and not particularly emotional (yet), Elijah doesn't mind, although Dom does.
Following Billy, they travel to exotic lands. Dom is taken into slavery by Orlando [24) Slaves]. Orlando believes he can never have a normal relationship because he turns into a puppy during the full moon [2) Transformation (animals)]. Meanwhile robot!Elijah meets his human double, Jack Dawkins [21) Doppelganger], who is under a curse to turn into a girl every time he's kissed [1) Genderswap].
When Elijah goes to rescue Dom, Jack comes along, and Orlando becomes smitten with Jack in both male and female forms. Orlando is required to marry and produce an heir to inherit his family's fortune, and Jack agrees on the condition that Orlando will free Dom [18) Forced Union]. They have sex while Jack's female, and Jack becomes pregnant, staying pregnant even while in male form [6) Mpreg].
However, Orlando still believes Jack is only going along with Orlando's wishes because Jack and Elijah are trying to win Dom's freedom, so he refuses to free Dom until the baby is born. Finally Elijah tries to steal Dom by flying him out over the sea, followed by Orlando in a ship. The ship is attacked by a tentacled sea monster which ensnares Orlando [5) Tentacles] who's freed by Jack, risking his/her life to save Orlando. Finally believing in Jack's love, Orlando frees Dom and gives Dom and Elijah enough cash to put the rentboying to an end.
Dom and Elijah continue their search, and they spot Billy at last. But oh noes! The magic-using enemies of England (who bear a striking resemblace to bad wizards from the Harry Potter verse) attack Dom and Elijah, and their spells hurtle the two forward in time to the late 1990s [19) Timeshift].
Half-vampire Highlander Billy is still around, of course, being immortal, so Dom and Elijah find him again. Now Billy has withdrawn from the doings of immortals and magic and so on, and is instead teaching at a high school in Ohio, so Dom and Elijah attend as students [7) High school AU] and meet Casey from The Faculty [25) Media Crossover]. Casey suspects wizards are infiltrating the school [12) Fantasy AU (urban)] which Dom and Elijah are able to confirm. Unfortunately Dom and Elijah aren't able to reach Billy in time to prevent the apocalypse [8) Apocalypse Now].
However, aliens [20) Aliens] detect Elijah's superadvanced robot technology and rescue him, Dom, Billy and Casey from the ongoing end of the world. Curious about Elijah's development beyond his programming, the aliens force Elijah and Dom to have sex [13) Fuck or Die], monitoring Elijah's budding emotional reactions (unbeknownst to Dom).
Meanwhile, it turns out that Billy has sworn off the machinations of immortals, magicians, and other such world-bending types because his heart was broken by Nick Stahl, who was Dom's long-lost twin [22) Twins or Non-canon Siblings], a psychic with uncontrolled time-travel abilities [10) Supernatural (powers)] who left Billy to become a porn star [14) Pornstars]. So robot Elijah uses his disguise ability to impersonate Billy [17) Trading Places] and the aliens send him back in time to prevent the apocalypse in Billy's place.
Meanwhile Dom is left with Billy, who falls deeply in love with Dom thanks to Dom's resemblance to Nick, but considerably more compatible personality.
Elijah returns from preventing the apocalypse, and they all come back to Earth in the year 2000. Nick Stahl comes back humbly to apologize to Billy for treating him poorly, but Billy doesn't want him back, and Nick falls for Casey instead.
So it all comes down to Dom having to choose between Highlander Billy, who is utterly smitten with him, or robo-transformer-Elijah who is not human and, Dom believes, not capable of love. Elijah proves otherwise by nearly suffering a meltdown when he learns that Dom has feelings for Billy.
OT3 wins out in the end, as Billy and Dom teach Elijah how to cope with his powerful new emotions. And they all live forever in their crazy mixed-up crackalicious world. THE END.