089.
When Sungmin gets time -- free time, all to himself, not just time off from work that is increasingly turning from pleasure into obligation, but time off from the other members and some time when he's not talking to his family, distance crackling through static -- he likes to listen to music.
It's one thing to listen to all the music he's obligated to know -- music from sunbaes and dongsaengs and fellow bands and soloists -- but it's another one to spend a night just listening, a ritual that started off with that one night that seems like an age ago.
("We should study for the song challenge recording, shouldn't we?"
"Right, don't want to make an ass of ourselves on national television."
"Mmm, that isn't new, though."
"Ahah, funny, you're a witty one, Cho Kyuhyun."
"Well how do you suggest we do it? Search up 'old popular songs likely to appear on TV shows'?"
"Leave it to your hyung.")
Listening to music, this kind of listening, is just lying back, staring at his blank ceiling, listening to the music softly pulsing through the room. It isn't exactly pleasure or a hobby, but what else could he call it?
When he runs out of ideas, the bargain bins in front of music stores a bit out of reach or empty, he goes to someone else. Hey Heechul, hey Ryeowook, hey Henry, hey Hyukjae, what's your favourite CD? Mind if I listen to it? Hey, think you could burn me a CD of your favourite songs? Thanks!
Sometimes he gets company. It's hard to avoid Kyuhyun, with sharing the same room and all, but he doesn't say anything - usually lies on his bed, laptop propped open, sound thankfully muted or headphones plugged in. Sungmin always offers -- want me to turn it down/off? -- but Kyuhyun usually just shakes his head, eyes never leaving the screen.
Sometimes Ryeowook comes in, because if there's anyone who loves discovering music it's him, and he keeps up an engaging commentary and Sungmin just doesn't have the heart to tell him to shut up.
Hyukjae comes in often enough when Donghae's gone wherever Donghae goes. He usually only stays for a song or two, leaving after establishing what genre/language Sungmin is listening to this week, and after an offer of alternative entertainment that Sungmin pretends to consider but always declines.
Heechul comes in sometimes, when he feels like he hasn't spent enough time with the dongsaengs. He sits on the floor, reclining against Sungmin's bed, quietly listening as well. They don't trade words -- which unnerves Sungmin a little bit, so uncharacteristic -- but just listen to the whole disc, gently whirling in the old player, for an hour or two until it ends and Sungmin feels obligated to ask Heechul if he can help him.
"Give a listen to this sometime," he usually replies, avoiding the question and placing a CD on Sungmin's bed. It's usually unmarked besides a neat number, and Sungmin takes it as Heechul silently leaves.
They vary. One week it's Japanese rock, voices screaming into the mic and Sungmin has to try hard not to cover his ears, even on the lowest volume. The time after that is full of Chinese ballads that make Sungmin shiver and teary, even as the meaning washes over him, lost. One of his favourites, though, is 15 -- not a coincidence -- which contains all of Heechul's favourite Super Junior songs, all songs Sungmin can't help singing under his breath even as he lies on his bed, otherwise unmoving.
Heechul's the only one who faithfully gives him CDs without Sungmin asking, and Sungmin feels like he has to repay him somehow, but already the clock is running out.
So Sungmin buys a blank CD, takes out all the discs Heechul's given him, and listens to them again. He notes down his favourites and narrows the list down until he's left with fourteen. Those he moves into a folder on his computer, casually labelled 'music'. Then, he goes to Ryeowook for help.
It's only a few days until Heechul's gone and at this rate, Heechul won't be able to say goodbye to everyone he's ever known his entire life -- probably half of South Korea. But that's okay, because after they retire back to the dorms after Inkigayo, none of them not exhausted, Sungmin knocks on Heechul's door.
He looks up from his phone, eyes immediately going to the disc in Sungmin's hands.
"Can I help you, Sungmin?"
"Give this a listen sometime."
Sungmin puts the disc on the floor next to Heechul's butt, and Heechul nods.
"Sure."
Sungmin stands there for a moment, awkward, before he goes without a goodbye. It's okay, there's still time.
Later that night/early next morning, Sungmin gets a text.
you've grown, baby-faced sungminnie. stay safe. be back before you know it.
It's one thing to listen to all the music he's obligated to know -- music from sunbaes and dongsaengs and fellow bands and soloists -- but it's another one to spend a night just listening, a ritual that started off with that one night that seems like an age ago.
("We should study for the song challenge recording, shouldn't we?"
"Right, don't want to make an ass of ourselves on national television."
"Mmm, that isn't new, though."
"Ahah, funny, you're a witty one, Cho Kyuhyun."
"Well how do you suggest we do it? Search up 'old popular songs likely to appear on TV shows'?"
"Leave it to your hyung.")
Listening to music, this kind of listening, is just lying back, staring at his blank ceiling, listening to the music softly pulsing through the room. It isn't exactly pleasure or a hobby, but what else could he call it?
When he runs out of ideas, the bargain bins in front of music stores a bit out of reach or empty, he goes to someone else. Hey Heechul, hey Ryeowook, hey Henry, hey Hyukjae, what's your favourite CD? Mind if I listen to it? Hey, think you could burn me a CD of your favourite songs? Thanks!
Sometimes he gets company. It's hard to avoid Kyuhyun, with sharing the same room and all, but he doesn't say anything - usually lies on his bed, laptop propped open, sound thankfully muted or headphones plugged in. Sungmin always offers -- want me to turn it down/off? -- but Kyuhyun usually just shakes his head, eyes never leaving the screen.
Sometimes Ryeowook comes in, because if there's anyone who loves discovering music it's him, and he keeps up an engaging commentary and Sungmin just doesn't have the heart to tell him to shut up.
Hyukjae comes in often enough when Donghae's gone wherever Donghae goes. He usually only stays for a song or two, leaving after establishing what genre/language Sungmin is listening to this week, and after an offer of alternative entertainment that Sungmin pretends to consider but always declines.
Heechul comes in sometimes, when he feels like he hasn't spent enough time with the dongsaengs. He sits on the floor, reclining against Sungmin's bed, quietly listening as well. They don't trade words -- which unnerves Sungmin a little bit, so uncharacteristic -- but just listen to the whole disc, gently whirling in the old player, for an hour or two until it ends and Sungmin feels obligated to ask Heechul if he can help him.
"Give a listen to this sometime," he usually replies, avoiding the question and placing a CD on Sungmin's bed. It's usually unmarked besides a neat number, and Sungmin takes it as Heechul silently leaves.
They vary. One week it's Japanese rock, voices screaming into the mic and Sungmin has to try hard not to cover his ears, even on the lowest volume. The time after that is full of Chinese ballads that make Sungmin shiver and teary, even as the meaning washes over him, lost. One of his favourites, though, is 15 -- not a coincidence -- which contains all of Heechul's favourite Super Junior songs, all songs Sungmin can't help singing under his breath even as he lies on his bed, otherwise unmoving.
Heechul's the only one who faithfully gives him CDs without Sungmin asking, and Sungmin feels like he has to repay him somehow, but already the clock is running out.
So Sungmin buys a blank CD, takes out all the discs Heechul's given him, and listens to them again. He notes down his favourites and narrows the list down until he's left with fourteen. Those he moves into a folder on his computer, casually labelled 'music'. Then, he goes to Ryeowook for help.
It's only a few days until Heechul's gone and at this rate, Heechul won't be able to say goodbye to everyone he's ever known his entire life -- probably half of South Korea. But that's okay, because after they retire back to the dorms after Inkigayo, none of them not exhausted, Sungmin knocks on Heechul's door.
He looks up from his phone, eyes immediately going to the disc in Sungmin's hands.
"Can I help you, Sungmin?"
"Give this a listen sometime."
Sungmin puts the disc on the floor next to Heechul's butt, and Heechul nods.
"Sure."
Sungmin stands there for a moment, awkward, before he goes without a goodbye. It's okay, there's still time.
Later that night/early next morning, Sungmin gets a text.
you've grown, baby-faced sungminnie. stay safe. be back before you know it.