086.
Kim Heechul is always 100% sure at any one time -- which, of course, includes this decision. It's just, this time, he's absolutely positive he wants to do it but also absolutely positive he'll regret it sooner or later. Which is to say, he is sure that he isn't sure about this.
So he takes out that scrap of paper from the sock in the back of the bottom drawer in the unused dresser. Because only one person knows how to do this, to leave without a word and with no regrets.
"Hello?"
Involuntary breath, before Heechul breathes again.
"Hey."
Of course, Han Geng recognises him straight away. He's fine without Super Junior -- fine without SM Entertainment and without- without the rest of them.
A thousand thoughts are running through Heechul's mind -- how do you survive on your own? How does it feel to be alone? How does it feel to abandon us? -- and his mouth isn't filtering them properly. He's praying that Han Geng's Korean is back to shit.
"I didn't abandon you," Han Geng says quietly, accent soft, sounding like he always has. "I didn't abandon all of you. I'm sorry you feel this way."
But that isn't the point, right now. That conversation was supposed to happen a year ago. This conversation is happening now.
"Whatever," Heechul says, and falls backwards on his bed. "What's it like without us?"
It's quiet, and it's weird but it's normal and comforting, almost.
"Lonely." That isn't what Heechul wants to hear.
"Quiet?" he prompts.
"...Yeah, but. Quiet isn't always a good thing," Han Geng says, and Heechul's heart sinks.
"I'm doing the right thing, aren't I?" Heechul all but whispers.
"You always do the right thing," Han Geng says, reassuring, and Heechul hangs up.
So he takes out that scrap of paper from the sock in the back of the bottom drawer in the unused dresser. Because only one person knows how to do this, to leave without a word and with no regrets.
"Hello?"
Involuntary breath, before Heechul breathes again.
"Hey."
Of course, Han Geng recognises him straight away. He's fine without Super Junior -- fine without SM Entertainment and without- without the rest of them.
A thousand thoughts are running through Heechul's mind -- how do you survive on your own? How does it feel to be alone? How does it feel to abandon us? -- and his mouth isn't filtering them properly. He's praying that Han Geng's Korean is back to shit.
"I didn't abandon you," Han Geng says quietly, accent soft, sounding like he always has. "I didn't abandon all of you. I'm sorry you feel this way."
But that isn't the point, right now. That conversation was supposed to happen a year ago. This conversation is happening now.
"Whatever," Heechul says, and falls backwards on his bed. "What's it like without us?"
It's quiet, and it's weird but it's normal and comforting, almost.
"Lonely." That isn't what Heechul wants to hear.
"Quiet?" he prompts.
"...Yeah, but. Quiet isn't always a good thing," Han Geng says, and Heechul's heart sinks.
"I'm doing the right thing, aren't I?" Heechul all but whispers.
"You always do the right thing," Han Geng says, reassuring, and Heechul hangs up.