History of Mickey Finn (1/1)
Title: History of Mickey Finn
Author: AllVowels
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Season 3, just in case
Summary: Prompt from supercapo based on a picture. Annie gives an awkward speech at her friends’ reception.
AN: I wrote this while struggling with the next chapter in Parenting Seminars.
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Annie frowned as she looked in the mirror. Her hair was curled and an odd large pink flower was shoved into her hair. She had been stuffed into a beige dress, which Britta or possibly Shirley had picked out, with a huge bow that hid her ample chest. She paired her odd ensemble with large pearl earrings and bracelet. Glancing at the clock in her bedroom she realized if she didn’t leave now, she’d be late.
Annie pulled her car into a parking lot next to the small park. From what she could make out, Britta had done a wonderful job again.
“I bet she didn’t even plan anything. This all just came together beautifully for her.” Annie muttered with a touch of bitterness in her voice. She told herself that she should happy. It was two of her best friends’ wedding day… correction devotion day. Marriage was too antiquated for Britta. It was the number one cause of divorce, so she had proposed a ‘I promise not to bang anyone else’ ceremony.
Troy had convinced her to call it a devotion ceremony. He didn’t think his family would come if the word bang was on the invitations.
“I don’t care what your family thinks! The only people who matter are us!” Britta had cried in rebellion.
“Britta, if we do this right, we could get a new microwave. People bring presents to these things.”
“They do?” Slowly her rebellion waned, “We do need a new microwave. You blew it up the other day.”
“You put the soup in a metal bowl.”
“How was I supposed to know metal couldn’t go in a microwave?” Troy nodded in agreement. Whoever made metal bowls must work for the microwave companies, they theorized. That way when you microwaved them, you would have to buy a new microwave increasing their profit margins. It was devrillant (deviously brilliant.)
Annie was one of the last to arrive. She smiled seeing Troy dressed in a tuxedo, it was white with a pink cummerbund that matched the patch of discarded muppet fur attached to her head. Taking her place near the devotion tree, Annie waited with the others for Britta.
No music announced the arrival of Britta, and no one escorted her.
“I give myself away. I’m not a slave to another!”
She wore a short black dress that poofed out slightly at her thighs with her signature knee high boots. The same ugly pink thing was in her hair as well. Annie smiled a little at that, at least she wasn’t the only one forced to wear that thing. The ceremony was simple, with Troy and Britta pledging to be devoted to one another. The kiss signaled the end of the ceremony and the guests were excused to go get small hors d’oeuvres and help themselves to the open bar.
Annie wandered over and asked the bartender for something sweet. He had smiled and handed over something orange. The drink went down smoothly and one drink quickly became 3. By the time Troy and Britta cut the cake, Annie was quite soused.
Abed stood and gave a speech to the newly devoted couple. By the end, Troy was crying and jumped up to hug his best friend. Britta rolled her eyes and shrugged to the guests. She knew better than to get between those two.
Abed turned to the rest of the guests, “Would anyone else like to give a speech to the couple?”
Annie raised her hand above her head, causing her drink to spill slightly, “I would!”
All eyes turned to Annie as she walked unsteadily forwards, stopping a little ways in front of the tree.
“We are here today to celebrate the devotion of two of my closest friends. I never thought this day would come, or if it did, it would be after my own wedding,” She said while raising her hand up and rolling her eyes, “since I actually want to get married and Britta is well Britta. She once told us she refused to write a list to Santa because she didn’t want to be dependent on a man and yet here we all are…”
She wrinkled her nose at the irony of it, “She has devoted herself to a man, while I’m still unmarried. Who’d have thunk it, am I right? Anyways, I just want to say congratulations, and I hope you two have a wonderful life together!”
Looking down when she was done, she noticed her drink, which had been nearly full when she started her speech, was almost empty.
“Oops! I spilled some. Bartender may I please get another.” She said as she walked away from the rest of the guests.
Jeff tailed her over to the makeshift bar, “Good job britta-ing your speech.”
Annie turned too quickly to face Jeff and stumbled into his suit covered chest. Giggling she pushed herself back.
“Wow your chest is hard.” Ignoring his comment, she frowned at him, “Why did you get to wear normal clothes? I got this ugly dress and Abed and Pierce are in white tuxes.”
“I refused to wear it. I have to look my best, there might be slutty bridesmaids at a wedding.”
“You have to have a bride to have bridesmaid. Duh-Doy.” Her head was starting to spin and her vision was fuzzy. What did the bartender put in her drink? “Jeff, why are there 3 ½ of you?”
Jeff’s cocky grin turned to one of concern, “Annie are you alright? How much have you had to drink?”
“3, but I spilled most of the last one.”
“Wow you are a light weight.”
Annie was unable to form as response as she collapsed into Jeff.
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When she came to, Jeff was sitting next to her.
“Where am I?”
“My apartment, it was the closest place to the park.”
“What happened?” She remembered the ceremony but everything after that was kind of blurry.
“Apparently the bartender slipped something in your drink. That’s the last time we hire one of Pierce's associates to serve drinks.”
“Oh. So why am I here and not the hospital?”
“Pierce recognized the signs. When he saw you his words were, ‘Somebody definitely slipped her a mickey finn. She just needs to sleep it off.’" Jeff said in his best imitation of Pierce's voice. Rolling his eyes, "Seriously though, who uses the word Mickey Finn anymore?”
“How did he know it was a mickey?”
Jeff snorted, “It’s Pierce.”
Annie nodded, she could understand that, “Did I do anything stupid?”
“What is the last thing you remember?”
“Getting the drink from the bartender.”
Jeff shifted uncomfortably. “You gave an awkward speech to Troy and Britta.”
Annie struggled to sit up, “Oh no, did I ruin the reception? What did I say?”
“Nothing that wasn’t true. Troy and Abed loved it. Said it was straight out of a romantic comedy. And Britta… she’ll get over it.”
Annie frowned. She felt horrible for ruining her friends’ big day. “Did I do anything else?”
Jeff looked at her oddly as if he was debating something, “Nope. You collapsed and I brought you here. Are you hungry? Would you like to go get something to eat?”
Annie smiled, “What I’d really like to do is change out of this dress and shower.”
Jeff nodded, “Alright, I’ll take you home. Then we can go get something to eat.”
He helped Annie to her feet and escorted her out to his Lexus. Once she was home, he sat on her tiny couch and reflected back on the last few hours.
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After Annie had collapsed and Pierce diagnosed it as a date rape attempt, the group members hauled Annie’s body into Jeff’s car. Abed went with Jeff to help him get her into the apartment to sleep it off. Jeff swung her body up into his arms and Abed opened doors as they wove their way into his apartment building.
Setting her on the bed he looked at Abed, “You should head back. I’ll stay here with her just in case.”
Abed looked at him assessingly. “Cool. Cool cool cool. Hopefully I’ll get there in time to see the cops arrive and get it on film.”
"They called the cops on him?"
"No, the cops got called on Britta for assaulting the bartender. They will probably find the drug on him and he will get arrested too."
After Abed left, Jeff sat staring at his petite friend. Even in that not so attractive outfit she looked beautiful. He could understand why the bartender made a move on her, but at the same time he wanted to track the man down and gut him. Unfortunately Britta already beat him to it.
Annie’s eyes opened groggily, “Jeff?”
He was brought out of his rumination, “Yes Annie?”
“I’m mad at you.”
Jeff was startled, he hadn’t slipped her the drug, why was she mad at him? “Why?”
“Cause you are too perfect. Too too perfect. Even with your unnaturally high butt crack.”
Jeff grinned, “You are just now realizing this?”
Her eyes turned sad as she looked at him and whispered, “No…”
Jeff reached out to push her hair back, “Hey now, what’s wrong?”
“Brent asked me to marry him.”
Jeff’s heart stilled, “He did? When?”
“Two days ago.”
Forcing a small smile to his face, “Well I guess congratulations are in order…”
Annie shook her head, “I told him no. He broke up with me.”
“Why?”
“Cause I told him no.”
Jeff chuckled at her drug addled logic, “Why did you tell him no?”
“Because he wasn’t you. But you don’t want me so I’m going to die alone.” She sniffled.
Jeff’s heart broke at her words.
“It’s not that I don’t want you. It… it just never was the right time.”
Annie didn’t hear him as she slipped back into a drug induced sleep.
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When Annie emerged from her bedroom in her usual skirt and cardigan, she smiled at Jeff, “Are you ready?”
With that simple sentence Jeff realized, it was finally the right time. “Yeah let’s go.”
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AN: I realize that the best thing to do after being slipped a drug would go to a hospital to be monitored just in case, but it is the study group so I can see them not doing that.