Fireworks. [Chapter Twelve]
Title: Fireworks
Rating: PG - 13
Pairing: Alex and Jack, if the kids don't believe, make them believe.
POV: Third
Summary: So it's true what they say, if you love someone, you should set them free.
Disclaimer: Totally fictional, soz.
Credit: Title to YouMeAtSix
A/N: Okay, so I apologise for this taking a while to be updated. Also, I apologise if this doesn't make sense. It's currently 01:20 am, and I'm a girl who needs her sleep! So I may make changes, but I'm sure that you wont mind this crappy, gibberish, update <3
Tumblr.
Masterpost.
“Why do you think it’s your fault, Jack?”
“H-he had cancer, Alex. I knew he had cancer, but I couldn’t bear to see him lying in hospital, practically a corpse. Staring up at me with cold eyes, smiling from blue lips, I just couldn’t do it... but he begged to see me Alex, and I kept making excuses, I kept saying I was with Rian, we had more important things to do, I was so fucking scared.”
Jack was becoming agitated amongst Alex’s grip, but the English boy daren’t let go.
“Th-then one night, I remember it so fucking clearly, I was lying on the sofa with my head on Rian’s lap, and the house phone rings. I told Rian to grab it because for s-some reason, I hadn’t felt right all day, y-you know? I knew something bad was going to happen...” He held his breath as closed his eyes, for he could see it clearly now, the look on Rian’s face as he answered, how he changed from a bright smile to utmost despair. “Rian said hello, then he was quiet, just listening to the voice on the other line. He started biting on his lip, and he avoided making eye contact with me. Then he mumbled an ‘okay’, and hung up. I just looked at him, confused, but Rian looked like he was about to cry. I asked him what was wrong, I pestered him, until he finally said, ‘We need to go to the hospital Jack, I’m so sorry.’”
Alex gently squeezed Jack’s body comfortingly, proud that the boy was willing to talk to him about something so heart breaking. “Jack...” He hushed, aching to press kisses along the boy’s shoulder.
“I-I didn’t want to go... I screamed at Rian, telling him to leave me behind, but then he just had enough. He grabbed my wrist, I think he even bruised it, and he pulled me out of the house, shoving me into the passenger seat of his car. I’d given up by then, I knew I had to face my worst nightmare. Then as we entered the hospital, Rian led me through the empty halls, before pausing outside a room that I was unfamiliar with. He pushed on the handle, and we stepped inside. That’s the moment I saw my Dad, dead, fucking dead. He was never coming back, and I never had a chance to say goodbye...” Jack pulled himself away from Alex’s arms, and he stood up. Lifting his shirt to just below his ribs with one hand, he slowly tugged down the band of his jeans and boxers at his left hip with the other. As the skin exposed itself, Alex was stunned by what he saw.
The flesh looked as if it had been mauled by a creature of the night. Scars painted Jack’s hip, and even fresh incisions had been made, adding a splash of burgundy colouring to the canvas.
Jack’s finger outlined the thickest mark, one that crossed over the bone, “That was the first one, Alex. That’s what started my addiction.”
Alex gingerly reached out his hand, his fingertips brushing over the other male’s hip, a sickening grew inside of him as he traced over the raised scars. He felt selfish for thinking of himself as having problems, when really, Jack suffered more than he had ever done.
At least, that’s what he believed. He was oblivious to the fact that in fact, both boys suffered losses they should never have had to face, especially not alone. However, now they didn’t need to battle their fears on their own, they had each other.
Jack pulled his jeans and underwear back up, to rest below his waist comfortably. He sat back down on Alex’s bed, collapsing into the boy’s chest. “He never should have died, Alex. If I was there for him, if I just overcame my fucking fears and saw him, maybe he would have survived. It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault...”
Alex had never been very good with comforting a person. He usually kept his distance, stayed out of the way until said person felt okay once more, that’s what he done with his parents. Sure, he’d hug them occasionally, he’d remind them that it wasn’t the end of the world, but that was all he could do.
When Jack spoke to him about Daniel, the boy used words that sunk deep into Alex’s heart, and still they were there, his blood pumping around them. Jack knew what to say in these situations, but Alex didn’t.
It was always worth a try, though.
“Hey... hey, look at me. Jack.” Alex’s grip around the male loosened, allowing him to lift Jack’s chin with his finger. To see the boy with tears staining his pasty cheeks, eyes red raw, Alex himself had to fight back the emotions.
Placing his hands at the other boy’s jaw, his thumbs gently stroked the protruding bones that outlined the beauty of his face, “Don’t blame yourself, don’t you dare.”
Alex knew what it was like to feel guilty over something you had no control over. He always thought that it was his fault Daniel took his life. He thought he was a bad brother; he forced himself into believing that Daniel wasn’t happy because of him. It was just Alex’s demons convincing himself lies.
“Jack, please, listen to me.”
“O-okay...”
“Your dad was suffering from a terminal illness, something which you knew deep down would eventually kill him, you just didn’t want to believe it.”
“But-“
“But nothing, Jack. Either way, you know your dad wasn’t going to make it, and you said yourself that you were scared... it’s because you were so scared that you started making up those daft conclusions about yourself being the culprit. You weren’t Jack, you never were.” Alex leant forward, resting his forehead against Jack’s, “And Rian never should have left you like he did... He should have listened to you, he should have shown understanding towards you, but he sounds like just another coward. I don't think he was ever worth any of your trouble in the first place.” He sighed, gently brushing the tips of their noses. “I hate knowing you had to stand alone through all of that... But it’s okay now,”
“How is it?” Jack mumbled, sniffing.
“You have me, and I have you... just like you said earlier, it’s me and you against the world, and nobody can stand in our way. We’ve both been through the wars together, we know how each other feel, and it’s like every second longer I spend with you, the more I just want you. I want to be your ‘Rian’...”
“Well, I don’t.”
“...What do you mean?”
“I don’t want you to be my ‘Rian’, I want you to be my ‘Alex’.”
Though Jack still struggled behind tears, a smile pushed at the corners of his lips. “I told myself, after Rian left, that I didn’t want to like anybody else after him. I thought he was my true love, and I suppose the smallest part of me still believes it... but that first moment I saw you, when those missing feelings rushed back through my blood, I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t want to let anybody else in after being hurt so much...”
“So why did you let me in?”
“Because I’ve missed knowing what it’s like to have somebody want you, worshipping you like you’re some sort of God. I miss the play fights, the surprise kisses, the cuddles on the sofa, and the sleeping in each other’s bed... but most of all? I miss being in love.” Jack placed a hand on Alex’s chest, the other softly stroking his neck, “A-and I knew from that first glare you gave me, that you were what I had been looking for.”
“B-because I made you feel like you did when you first saw Rian...”
“Exactly, but I know that you wont hurt me like he did.”
“We can only hope.”
- - - -
Jack was calmer, he realised that getting angry, getting upset... none of that would change what's already happened. But it felt good to be able to finally tell somebody what he'd been hiding for these past months.
And Alex couldn’t believe how amazing it felt to know that somebody had shared those exact same emotions as he’d done.
He was shocked by how strong Jack was, mentally at least. Though his self-harming was his only sign of weakness, Alex was in shock at how on earth he could keep that smile on his face.
The English boy had always been so bitter, he pitied himself, and he was such a pessimist.
Jack however, he tried his hardest to see the better sides of situations. Though he was finally able to let everything off his chest, for the first time, he still found his reason to smile.
They were truly opposites, in almost every single way, but that just made it perfect.
Everybody knows that opposites always attract.
- - - -
“Thanks, Alex, for letting me just... cry on you.”
“Think of this as paying you back for listening to my moaning and screaming the other week.” The boy laughed, “It’s good to know that we’re both in a similar situation, you know? I just... I feel so much more closer to you now.”
Jack brushed his fringe from his eyes, “I bet you never thought you’d be like this.”
“Especially not with a boy.”
“But...?”
“But I’ve never been happier.”
The boys simultaneously laid back against Alex’s mattress, Jack sliding his arm across the older male’s shoulders.
Alex outstretched an arm across Jack’s stomach, his head lying against the boy’s chest. He pressed his ear against the male’s t-shirt; he could hear the beating of the boy’s heart. A slow, calm, steady pace.
Alex knew that this was what he wanted, where he wanted to be, for as long as it were possible.
He was prepared to work for it, he understood that he had to face so many dusty phobias left behind in the back of his mind, but he had to.
Jack was counting on him.
- - - -
“Well, I guess I should be headed home, Alex.” The younger teen sighed, straightening his body up. “Thank you, again.”
“What for?”
“For just talking to me...”
“Hey... I will always be here to talk to you, whenever you need me, whatever the time, I’ll be here.”
“Good, and the same for you, too. I hope that being with me makes you realise how amazing we could be together.”
“I think it’s starting to work already.”
And the two boys clung to each other’s body for the last time that day.
But tomorrow was just around the corner.
Rating: PG - 13
Pairing: Alex and Jack, if the kids don't believe, make them believe.
POV: Third
Summary: So it's true what they say, if you love someone, you should set them free.
Disclaimer: Totally fictional, soz.
Credit: Title to YouMeAtSix
A/N: Okay, so I apologise for this taking a while to be updated. Also, I apologise if this doesn't make sense. It's currently 01:20 am, and I'm a girl who needs her sleep! So I may make changes, but I'm sure that you wont mind this crappy, gibberish, update <3
Tumblr.
Masterpost.
“Why do you think it’s your fault, Jack?”
“H-he had cancer, Alex. I knew he had cancer, but I couldn’t bear to see him lying in hospital, practically a corpse. Staring up at me with cold eyes, smiling from blue lips, I just couldn’t do it... but he begged to see me Alex, and I kept making excuses, I kept saying I was with Rian, we had more important things to do, I was so fucking scared.”
Jack was becoming agitated amongst Alex’s grip, but the English boy daren’t let go.
“Th-then one night, I remember it so fucking clearly, I was lying on the sofa with my head on Rian’s lap, and the house phone rings. I told Rian to grab it because for s-some reason, I hadn’t felt right all day, y-you know? I knew something bad was going to happen...” He held his breath as closed his eyes, for he could see it clearly now, the look on Rian’s face as he answered, how he changed from a bright smile to utmost despair. “Rian said hello, then he was quiet, just listening to the voice on the other line. He started biting on his lip, and he avoided making eye contact with me. Then he mumbled an ‘okay’, and hung up. I just looked at him, confused, but Rian looked like he was about to cry. I asked him what was wrong, I pestered him, until he finally said, ‘We need to go to the hospital Jack, I’m so sorry.’”
Alex gently squeezed Jack’s body comfortingly, proud that the boy was willing to talk to him about something so heart breaking. “Jack...” He hushed, aching to press kisses along the boy’s shoulder.
“I-I didn’t want to go... I screamed at Rian, telling him to leave me behind, but then he just had enough. He grabbed my wrist, I think he even bruised it, and he pulled me out of the house, shoving me into the passenger seat of his car. I’d given up by then, I knew I had to face my worst nightmare. Then as we entered the hospital, Rian led me through the empty halls, before pausing outside a room that I was unfamiliar with. He pushed on the handle, and we stepped inside. That’s the moment I saw my Dad, dead, fucking dead. He was never coming back, and I never had a chance to say goodbye...” Jack pulled himself away from Alex’s arms, and he stood up. Lifting his shirt to just below his ribs with one hand, he slowly tugged down the band of his jeans and boxers at his left hip with the other. As the skin exposed itself, Alex was stunned by what he saw.
The flesh looked as if it had been mauled by a creature of the night. Scars painted Jack’s hip, and even fresh incisions had been made, adding a splash of burgundy colouring to the canvas.
Jack’s finger outlined the thickest mark, one that crossed over the bone, “That was the first one, Alex. That’s what started my addiction.”
Alex gingerly reached out his hand, his fingertips brushing over the other male’s hip, a sickening grew inside of him as he traced over the raised scars. He felt selfish for thinking of himself as having problems, when really, Jack suffered more than he had ever done.
At least, that’s what he believed. He was oblivious to the fact that in fact, both boys suffered losses they should never have had to face, especially not alone. However, now they didn’t need to battle their fears on their own, they had each other.
Jack pulled his jeans and underwear back up, to rest below his waist comfortably. He sat back down on Alex’s bed, collapsing into the boy’s chest. “He never should have died, Alex. If I was there for him, if I just overcame my fucking fears and saw him, maybe he would have survived. It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault...”
Alex had never been very good with comforting a person. He usually kept his distance, stayed out of the way until said person felt okay once more, that’s what he done with his parents. Sure, he’d hug them occasionally, he’d remind them that it wasn’t the end of the world, but that was all he could do.
When Jack spoke to him about Daniel, the boy used words that sunk deep into Alex’s heart, and still they were there, his blood pumping around them. Jack knew what to say in these situations, but Alex didn’t.
It was always worth a try, though.
“Hey... hey, look at me. Jack.” Alex’s grip around the male loosened, allowing him to lift Jack’s chin with his finger. To see the boy with tears staining his pasty cheeks, eyes red raw, Alex himself had to fight back the emotions.
Placing his hands at the other boy’s jaw, his thumbs gently stroked the protruding bones that outlined the beauty of his face, “Don’t blame yourself, don’t you dare.”
Alex knew what it was like to feel guilty over something you had no control over. He always thought that it was his fault Daniel took his life. He thought he was a bad brother; he forced himself into believing that Daniel wasn’t happy because of him. It was just Alex’s demons convincing himself lies.
“Jack, please, listen to me.”
“O-okay...”
“Your dad was suffering from a terminal illness, something which you knew deep down would eventually kill him, you just didn’t want to believe it.”
“But-“
“But nothing, Jack. Either way, you know your dad wasn’t going to make it, and you said yourself that you were scared... it’s because you were so scared that you started making up those daft conclusions about yourself being the culprit. You weren’t Jack, you never were.” Alex leant forward, resting his forehead against Jack’s, “And Rian never should have left you like he did... He should have listened to you, he should have shown understanding towards you, but he sounds like just another coward. I don't think he was ever worth any of your trouble in the first place.” He sighed, gently brushing the tips of their noses. “I hate knowing you had to stand alone through all of that... But it’s okay now,”
“How is it?” Jack mumbled, sniffing.
“You have me, and I have you... just like you said earlier, it’s me and you against the world, and nobody can stand in our way. We’ve both been through the wars together, we know how each other feel, and it’s like every second longer I spend with you, the more I just want you. I want to be your ‘Rian’...”
“Well, I don’t.”
“...What do you mean?”
“I don’t want you to be my ‘Rian’, I want you to be my ‘Alex’.”
Though Jack still struggled behind tears, a smile pushed at the corners of his lips. “I told myself, after Rian left, that I didn’t want to like anybody else after him. I thought he was my true love, and I suppose the smallest part of me still believes it... but that first moment I saw you, when those missing feelings rushed back through my blood, I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t want to let anybody else in after being hurt so much...”
“So why did you let me in?”
“Because I’ve missed knowing what it’s like to have somebody want you, worshipping you like you’re some sort of God. I miss the play fights, the surprise kisses, the cuddles on the sofa, and the sleeping in each other’s bed... but most of all? I miss being in love.” Jack placed a hand on Alex’s chest, the other softly stroking his neck, “A-and I knew from that first glare you gave me, that you were what I had been looking for.”
“B-because I made you feel like you did when you first saw Rian...”
“Exactly, but I know that you wont hurt me like he did.”
“We can only hope.”
- - - -
Jack was calmer, he realised that getting angry, getting upset... none of that would change what's already happened. But it felt good to be able to finally tell somebody what he'd been hiding for these past months.
And Alex couldn’t believe how amazing it felt to know that somebody had shared those exact same emotions as he’d done.
He was shocked by how strong Jack was, mentally at least. Though his self-harming was his only sign of weakness, Alex was in shock at how on earth he could keep that smile on his face.
The English boy had always been so bitter, he pitied himself, and he was such a pessimist.
Jack however, he tried his hardest to see the better sides of situations. Though he was finally able to let everything off his chest, for the first time, he still found his reason to smile.
They were truly opposites, in almost every single way, but that just made it perfect.
Everybody knows that opposites always attract.
- - - -
“Thanks, Alex, for letting me just... cry on you.”
“Think of this as paying you back for listening to my moaning and screaming the other week.” The boy laughed, “It’s good to know that we’re both in a similar situation, you know? I just... I feel so much more closer to you now.”
Jack brushed his fringe from his eyes, “I bet you never thought you’d be like this.”
“Especially not with a boy.”
“But...?”
“But I’ve never been happier.”
The boys simultaneously laid back against Alex’s mattress, Jack sliding his arm across the older male’s shoulders.
Alex outstretched an arm across Jack’s stomach, his head lying against the boy’s chest. He pressed his ear against the male’s t-shirt; he could hear the beating of the boy’s heart. A slow, calm, steady pace.
Alex knew that this was what he wanted, where he wanted to be, for as long as it were possible.
He was prepared to work for it, he understood that he had to face so many dusty phobias left behind in the back of his mind, but he had to.
Jack was counting on him.
- - - -
“Well, I guess I should be headed home, Alex.” The younger teen sighed, straightening his body up. “Thank you, again.”
“What for?”
“For just talking to me...”
“Hey... I will always be here to talk to you, whenever you need me, whatever the time, I’ll be here.”
“Good, and the same for you, too. I hope that being with me makes you realise how amazing we could be together.”
“I think it’s starting to work already.”
And the two boys clung to each other’s body for the last time that day.
But tomorrow was just around the corner.