We've All Been More Than Eager to Sin 5/?
Title: We've All Been More Than Eager to Sin 5/?
Author: shadefur
Pairing: Zack/Alex
Rating: NC-17, at some point
ChapterRating: PG-13, I think
Summary: “I want this to last forever,” Zack murmured, pressing his nose into my sweaty hair. I nodded sleepily and closed my eyes. “You sleep too much, Alex. Turn around and look at me at least.” I did what he said and fell asleep with my head in his chest. If only I'd known it wouldn't last for long. I'd have savored every second of it.
POV: 1st person; Alex
Disclaimer: I don't own All Time Low. I haven't met All Time Low. None of this is true.
Warnings: Slash
Previous Chapters: Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four
Authors Notes: None?
Slowly, I was regaining the memories of things best left forgotten. Yes, they were great things but they seemed to be leading up to something bad. The little snippets of images and sounds would just suddenly overwhelm me and swallow me up. I'd be walking down the hallway to go get some breakfast from the kitchen and suddenly I'd have all these things in my head-things that felt so familiar like they were mine but I couldn't take them-and when they were gone I'd be hiding somewhere. I won't even have remembered hiding. This happened once when Zack was out, even though they usually only happened when he was with me.
I was taken from underneath his covers curled up comfortably and suddenly thrust into a world where something-I wasn't sure what-was wrong. I was panicking. I was screaming Zack's name. I couldn't stop. There was this empty feeling in my chest which only furthered my pain. I kept screaming his name, again and again. And then he was there and I was back in one of my frequent hiding places, sobbing and still croaking out his name, my throat sore from the screaming. How long it had lasted, I wasn't sure. I just knew that the entire time it was happening, there was this horrible feeling, like my heart had been ripped out and that I knew it had to be that I'd lost Zack somehow.
I clung to his shirt, still calling his name even though he was there and I was safe. He stroked my back gently. “It's okay now, Alex.” I tried to force myself to calm down and he asked quietly, “Do you want to go to the doctor to see if maybe you're sick?” Sick. That sounded like the gentler term for something. Was he saying I might be losing it or something? I wasn't insane, I knew that much. What I didn't know was what all these weird sudden flashbacks and unexplainable feelings meant. Something made me forget everything and I still didn't know what that was, or what I'd forgotten.
“Okay,” I said quietly, deciding not to argue but still not liking the way he'd said that. After a silent car ride, we were soon in the doctor's office. Apparently, Zack had already made plans to take me after he got home anyways. So I was a bit pissed at him. He kept making decisions for me and seemed to think something was wrong with me anyways. When I described to the doctor what had happened, he just did a few tests and told me it had just been a panic attack, no big deal. I was supposed to go see a psychologist if I wanted help with that. Zack told me he could find me a good one for me but I refused to go.
♫♪♫♪♫
That night, I made a point of sleeping on the couch. I didn't want him to help me. I didn't want to be around him. I'd given him a chance and so far he hadn't done much at all. At first he was around to talk to and he was sweet but then he started to leave me home alone all the time and we rarely talked at all. It made me feel like he didn't really care much. Of course, as far as I knew, no one had ever really cared for me so it only made sense. In the middle of the night, when Zack thought I was asleep, he sat down on the floor beside the couch and stroked my hair. “You're so confusing, Alex,” he whispered as I drifted into sleep.
♫♪♫♪♫
I woke up in the early afternoon, still curled up on the couch. Zack was making lunch. “Oh, you're awake. I was wondering if you wanted grilled cheese but didn't know if I should wake you up to ask,” he said with a slight laugh. I let out a sigh and told him I'd have some. Within seconds there was a paper plate on my lap with a grilled cheese sandwich on it. I smiled gratefully at him and took a bite. Grilled cheese was something I'd expect to see a little kid eating but I loved them anyways; I hadn't gotten them very often and I couldn't remember my childhood so they were like a special treat to me. Of course, Zack didn't know any of this.
“What are you doing home?” I asked, glancing at the clock. Two in the afternoon? There was no way he could be on his lunch break or something.
He smiled at me. “Alex, it's a Saturday. I don't work on Saturdays.”
Author: shadefur
Pairing: Zack/Alex
Rating: NC-17, at some point
ChapterRating: PG-13, I think
Summary: “I want this to last forever,” Zack murmured, pressing his nose into my sweaty hair. I nodded sleepily and closed my eyes. “You sleep too much, Alex. Turn around and look at me at least.” I did what he said and fell asleep with my head in his chest. If only I'd known it wouldn't last for long. I'd have savored every second of it.
POV: 1st person; Alex
Disclaimer: I don't own All Time Low. I haven't met All Time Low. None of this is true.
Warnings: Slash
Previous Chapters: Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four
Authors Notes: None?
Slowly, I was regaining the memories of things best left forgotten. Yes, they were great things but they seemed to be leading up to something bad. The little snippets of images and sounds would just suddenly overwhelm me and swallow me up. I'd be walking down the hallway to go get some breakfast from the kitchen and suddenly I'd have all these things in my head-things that felt so familiar like they were mine but I couldn't take them-and when they were gone I'd be hiding somewhere. I won't even have remembered hiding. This happened once when Zack was out, even though they usually only happened when he was with me.
I was taken from underneath his covers curled up comfortably and suddenly thrust into a world where something-I wasn't sure what-was wrong. I was panicking. I was screaming Zack's name. I couldn't stop. There was this empty feeling in my chest which only furthered my pain. I kept screaming his name, again and again. And then he was there and I was back in one of my frequent hiding places, sobbing and still croaking out his name, my throat sore from the screaming. How long it had lasted, I wasn't sure. I just knew that the entire time it was happening, there was this horrible feeling, like my heart had been ripped out and that I knew it had to be that I'd lost Zack somehow.
I clung to his shirt, still calling his name even though he was there and I was safe. He stroked my back gently. “It's okay now, Alex.” I tried to force myself to calm down and he asked quietly, “Do you want to go to the doctor to see if maybe you're sick?” Sick. That sounded like the gentler term for something. Was he saying I might be losing it or something? I wasn't insane, I knew that much. What I didn't know was what all these weird sudden flashbacks and unexplainable feelings meant. Something made me forget everything and I still didn't know what that was, or what I'd forgotten.
“Okay,” I said quietly, deciding not to argue but still not liking the way he'd said that. After a silent car ride, we were soon in the doctor's office. Apparently, Zack had already made plans to take me after he got home anyways. So I was a bit pissed at him. He kept making decisions for me and seemed to think something was wrong with me anyways. When I described to the doctor what had happened, he just did a few tests and told me it had just been a panic attack, no big deal. I was supposed to go see a psychologist if I wanted help with that. Zack told me he could find me a good one for me but I refused to go.
♫♪♫♪♫
That night, I made a point of sleeping on the couch. I didn't want him to help me. I didn't want to be around him. I'd given him a chance and so far he hadn't done much at all. At first he was around to talk to and he was sweet but then he started to leave me home alone all the time and we rarely talked at all. It made me feel like he didn't really care much. Of course, as far as I knew, no one had ever really cared for me so it only made sense. In the middle of the night, when Zack thought I was asleep, he sat down on the floor beside the couch and stroked my hair. “You're so confusing, Alex,” he whispered as I drifted into sleep.
♫♪♫♪♫
I woke up in the early afternoon, still curled up on the couch. Zack was making lunch. “Oh, you're awake. I was wondering if you wanted grilled cheese but didn't know if I should wake you up to ask,” he said with a slight laugh. I let out a sigh and told him I'd have some. Within seconds there was a paper plate on my lap with a grilled cheese sandwich on it. I smiled gratefully at him and took a bite. Grilled cheese was something I'd expect to see a little kid eating but I loved them anyways; I hadn't gotten them very often and I couldn't remember my childhood so they were like a special treat to me. Of course, Zack didn't know any of this.
“What are you doing home?” I asked, glancing at the clock. Two in the afternoon? There was no way he could be on his lunch break or something.
He smiled at me. “Alex, it's a Saturday. I don't work on Saturdays.”