All Time Low Got Me Pregnant And I'm Only 15! (1/2)
Title: All Time Low Got Me Pregnant And I'm Only 15! (1/2)
Author: darkbluerain
Rating: PG-17 (mpreg/Springer-esque and crack!tastic situations/the return of Jaqelyn)
Pairings: Zac Farro/Rian, Zac Farro/Jack, Flyzik/Alex/Zack, Alex/Zack
Summary: Who got Zac pregnant? Was Flyzik molested? And why is Jack in a dress?
Disclaimer: Fake as the wig sitting on top of my stack of Alternative Presses.
Author Notes: So, if anyone has a copy of the new Substream (FTSK/Sky Eats Airplane), you'll have seen the section around the middle where they handed out questionnaires to the guys on Man Whores and Open Sores. When asked what one of the dudes' favorite episode of Springer was...well, look at the title. Also, this is written in the style of a play. Like Opinions, if you've ever read it. Oh, and I thought Maury was more appropriate. If you see any mistakes, as usual, point them out. :]
A/N 2: I know Zac isn't fifteen, but I had to switch up his age to make it fit with the title. Err, yeah, on with the crack!fic...
Maury: Today on Maury, we have young Matthew Flyzik, who claims the members of All Time Low sexually assaulted him, and fifteen year old Zac Farro, who says one of the band members got him pregnant! Let's see how things unfold. *turns to Zac* Now, how did you come to meet All Time Low?
Zac: *sniffles* We-we've toured with them before.
Maury: And what about this Rian Dawson fellow you claim impregnated you?
Zac: It happened last year on Warped Tour. I was headed back to my bus because I was done for the day, and then here comes Rian. 'Hey Zac,' he says, 'Can you come here for a minute? I'm having some problems with my drums.' So, you know, being the gentleman that I am, I went with him. He brings me back to their bus, and then I ask him what his problem is. Then all of a sudden my shorts are around my ankles and...oh, it's so terrible to remember!
Maury: That's alright Zac. And where is your child today?
Zac: *wipes his tears with a flamboyantly gay rainbow hankie with his name embroidered on it* She's at home with my oldest brother. He's been such a big help.
Maury: Well Zac, every story has two sides, and we've brought in Rian to tell his side. Rian Dawson, come on out here!
*Rian walks out*
Audience: *boos*
Rian: *flips off audience and sits down*
Maury: Rian, I understand you have an entirely different story to tell us.
Rian: That's right Maury.
Zac: Don't you dare lie to him!
Rian: You're the one lying, Farro! Maury, it was indeed one Warped Tour ago that this all went down. I was having some drumming issues, so I was looking around the venue for a fellow drummer and spotted Zac. I called him over and asked if he could help me, then we headed for the buses. Now Maury, there is no denying it, Zac is a very attractive young male. I couldn't help but make a move when we were alone. Zac got right into it. Soon enough we were naked and-
Zac: *stands up and points angrily at Rian* That's a load of shit and you know it! It was rape!
Rian: *jumps up and point skyward* Was not! Your exact words, and I quote, 'OH RIAN, OH BABY, RIGHT THERE, HARDER.'
Maury: Boys, boys! Please, relax. Well everyone, we've got a surprise for you. There is another man out there claiming to be the father of Zac's child! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jack Barakat!
*Jack walks out in full Jaqelyn attire and takes a seat next to Zac*
Maury: Mr. Barakat, how do you tie in with all of this?
Jaqelyn Jack: You see, right around the end of Paramore's run on Warped Tour Zac got really depressed. He loves performing and really didn't want to leave. I ran into him hanging out by the buses and vans. So I asked him if he wanted some company on the Paramore bus, looking so lonely and all. I went him him and we began talking, and then we just started opening up to each other. One thing lead to another and...well, you know.
Maury: So you really think this could be your baby and not Rian's? And why are you dressed as a woman?
Jack: *flips his weave hair over his shoulder* Well, All Time Low isn't exactly as big of a band as Green Day or the Foo Fighters, so I don't make enough cash to support myself. I work the streets back in Maryland when I fall on hard times. And yes, I do believe this child is mine.
Maury: And why is that?
Jack: Umm, Maury, have you seen my goods? I'm huge. I'm filled with super sperm!
Maury: What about you Zac? Did these events between you and Jack happen?
Zac: *blushes* Yes.
Maury: Well, just in case, both Rian and Jack have taken a paternity test to determine who is the father of Zac's baby. *grabs papers* Rian, in the case of ten month old...Rofonda? Your baby's name is Rofonda?
Zac: What? Just because I'm from Tennessee doesn't mean I don't live in the ghetto!
Maury: Right. Anyway, Rian you are...NOT the father!
Rian: *gets down on his knees* Thank you Jesus!
Maury: And Jack, in the case of ten month old Rofonda, you...
Jack: *bites his lip*
Zac: *begins chewing his fingernails*
Maury: Hold on, I need to clean my glasses.
Audience: Come on already!
Random female audience member: He's the father!
Maury, Zac, and Jack: How do you know?
Random female audience member: I am a psychic, and therefore know these things!
Maury: I shall take your word for it then. Jack, you are baby Rofonda's father!
Jack: *turns to Zac* Zac, I really do care about you. If you're willing to give me another chance, I will stop working the corner and help you raise this child!
Zac: *begins crying* You really mean that?
Jack: Of course I do, babe. I love you.
Zac: I love you too!
Zac and Jack: *embrace*
Audience: Awwww...
Maury: What a happy ending! Next up we've got twenty two year old Matthew Flyzik, who says Zack Merrick and Alex Gaskarth molested him! Stay tuned during this commercial break!
_____________________________
- The second half is on the way!
By the way, I got a new kitty today, and I named her Jasey Rae. Should I post pictures?
Author: darkbluerain
Rating: PG-17 (mpreg/Springer-esque and crack!tastic situations/the return of Jaqelyn)
Pairings: Zac Farro/Rian, Zac Farro/Jack, Flyzik/Alex/Zack, Alex/Zack
Summary: Who got Zac pregnant? Was Flyzik molested? And why is Jack in a dress?
Disclaimer: Fake as the wig sitting on top of my stack of Alternative Presses.
Author Notes: So, if anyone has a copy of the new Substream (FTSK/Sky Eats Airplane), you'll have seen the section around the middle where they handed out questionnaires to the guys on Man Whores and Open Sores. When asked what one of the dudes' favorite episode of Springer was...well, look at the title. Also, this is written in the style of a play. Like Opinions, if you've ever read it. Oh, and I thought Maury was more appropriate. If you see any mistakes, as usual, point them out. :]
A/N 2: I know Zac isn't fifteen, but I had to switch up his age to make it fit with the title. Err, yeah, on with the crack!fic...
Maury: Today on Maury, we have young Matthew Flyzik, who claims the members of All Time Low sexually assaulted him, and fifteen year old Zac Farro, who says one of the band members got him pregnant! Let's see how things unfold. *turns to Zac* Now, how did you come to meet All Time Low?
Zac: *sniffles* We-we've toured with them before.
Maury: And what about this Rian Dawson fellow you claim impregnated you?
Zac: It happened last year on Warped Tour. I was headed back to my bus because I was done for the day, and then here comes Rian. 'Hey Zac,' he says, 'Can you come here for a minute? I'm having some problems with my drums.' So, you know, being the gentleman that I am, I went with him. He brings me back to their bus, and then I ask him what his problem is. Then all of a sudden my shorts are around my ankles and...oh, it's so terrible to remember!
Maury: That's alright Zac. And where is your child today?
Zac: *wipes his tears with a flamboyantly gay rainbow hankie with his name embroidered on it* She's at home with my oldest brother. He's been such a big help.
Maury: Well Zac, every story has two sides, and we've brought in Rian to tell his side. Rian Dawson, come on out here!
*Rian walks out*
Audience: *boos*
Rian: *flips off audience and sits down*
Maury: Rian, I understand you have an entirely different story to tell us.
Rian: That's right Maury.
Zac: Don't you dare lie to him!
Rian: You're the one lying, Farro! Maury, it was indeed one Warped Tour ago that this all went down. I was having some drumming issues, so I was looking around the venue for a fellow drummer and spotted Zac. I called him over and asked if he could help me, then we headed for the buses. Now Maury, there is no denying it, Zac is a very attractive young male. I couldn't help but make a move when we were alone. Zac got right into it. Soon enough we were naked and-
Zac: *stands up and points angrily at Rian* That's a load of shit and you know it! It was rape!
Rian: *jumps up and point skyward* Was not! Your exact words, and I quote, 'OH RIAN, OH BABY, RIGHT THERE, HARDER.'
Maury: Boys, boys! Please, relax. Well everyone, we've got a surprise for you. There is another man out there claiming to be the father of Zac's child! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jack Barakat!
*Jack walks out in full Jaqelyn attire and takes a seat next to Zac*
Maury: Mr. Barakat, how do you tie in with all of this?
Jaqelyn Jack: You see, right around the end of Paramore's run on Warped Tour Zac got really depressed. He loves performing and really didn't want to leave. I ran into him hanging out by the buses and vans. So I asked him if he wanted some company on the Paramore bus, looking so lonely and all. I went him him and we began talking, and then we just started opening up to each other. One thing lead to another and...well, you know.
Maury: So you really think this could be your baby and not Rian's? And why are you dressed as a woman?
Jack: *flips his weave hair over his shoulder* Well, All Time Low isn't exactly as big of a band as Green Day or the Foo Fighters, so I don't make enough cash to support myself. I work the streets back in Maryland when I fall on hard times. And yes, I do believe this child is mine.
Maury: And why is that?
Jack: Umm, Maury, have you seen my goods? I'm huge. I'm filled with super sperm!
Maury: What about you Zac? Did these events between you and Jack happen?
Zac: *blushes* Yes.
Maury: Well, just in case, both Rian and Jack have taken a paternity test to determine who is the father of Zac's baby. *grabs papers* Rian, in the case of ten month old...Rofonda? Your baby's name is Rofonda?
Zac: What? Just because I'm from Tennessee doesn't mean I don't live in the ghetto!
Maury: Right. Anyway, Rian you are...NOT the father!
Rian: *gets down on his knees* Thank you Jesus!
Maury: And Jack, in the case of ten month old Rofonda, you...
Jack: *bites his lip*
Zac: *begins chewing his fingernails*
Maury: Hold on, I need to clean my glasses.
Audience: Come on already!
Random female audience member: He's the father!
Maury, Zac, and Jack: How do you know?
Random female audience member: I am a psychic, and therefore know these things!
Maury: I shall take your word for it then. Jack, you are baby Rofonda's father!
Jack: *turns to Zac* Zac, I really do care about you. If you're willing to give me another chance, I will stop working the corner and help you raise this child!
Zac: *begins crying* You really mean that?
Jack: Of course I do, babe. I love you.
Zac: I love you too!
Zac and Jack: *embrace*
Audience: Awwww...
Maury: What a happy ending! Next up we've got twenty two year old Matthew Flyzik, who says Zack Merrick and Alex Gaskarth molested him! Stay tuned during this commercial break!
_____________________________
- The second half is on the way!
By the way, I got a new kitty today, and I named her Jasey Rae. Should I post pictures?