Your "Everything Better" Plan (17/20)
Title: Your "Everything Better" Plan (17/20)
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17 (Overall)
Warning: Incest
Summary: "I want to kiss you."
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Title cred goes to ATL.
Author's Note: sigh
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Alex felt as if there was no air left for him to breathe. Like all the life had been sucked from his body, leaving him like a fish out of water.
"This relationship was always risky in the first place."
He hadn't gotten out of bed all weekend, shoving his drawer in front of his bedroom door and refusing to come out no matter how loud his Dad's shouts got.
"All this time I thought I could bring some happiness into your life."
Maybe if he got his father angry enough, he would be beaten to death - and that's exactly what Alex wanted.
"But I never thought about where we would end up."
His stomach hurt from not eating or drinking in almost two days, his head was spinning, and most of all his heart ached from the loss of Jack.
"I can't lie anymore 'Lex, you deserve to be with someone you don't need to hide with."
And worst of all, all that Alex could think about what how this was his own fault. If only he hadn't been such a fucking wimp about Jack punching him. If only he hadn't gone to John to find comfort.
If only.
It was his entire fault dammit.
"It wasn't until I admitted I loved you that I started thinking about our future, and that scared me."
And he wanted to die for his mistake. He wanted the ground to swallow him whole. He wanted to be sent straight down to Hell and take all the punishment and damnation he deserved for doing what he did.
He wanted to die.
It was like his existence was a long series of unfortunate events that never seemed to end.
Every time something good happened to Alex, it would come back to kick him straight in the face.
He had Jack. He lost Jack.
He lost his brother. His best friend. His soulmate.
He didn't fucking deserve someone like Jack. Not one bit.
And they were destined to be star crossed from the second their lips first met.
Why couldn't he just something good happen to him for once?
Why did he have to mess up anything that came to him?
Everything was his fault.
Everything and everyone would be better off without him.
"I'm so sorry Alex, I never meant to hurt you."