Help Unwanted Chapter Eight
Title: Help Unwanted
Pairing: Merrikat
Author: alltimelow09876
POV: Jack
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own these lovely boys.
this is all fake blah blah blah you know the drill
A/N Sorry I didn't update last week. My mind has
been all over the place and I've had so much to do
before school ends. I had a bit of writers block so I'm
sorry if this chapter is not the best I'll try to do better
next time. Thanks so much for reading you guys :)
http://alltimelow09876.livejournal.com/2593.html
Its been a few days since I found the letter. I decide that it's only right to show Matt, so I fold it up and put it in an envelope. I write Matt's adress on the front, and my return adress above it. I stick a stamp on it and throw it in the mail box. I walk back upstairs and sit at my desk. I hear the rumble of thunder and it starts to pour. It reminds me of Alex. I put my head down on my desk and cry. The storm is ragging outside and all I can think about is Alex. He was always scared of storms. Everytime there was a storm he would crawl into my bunk and I'd cuddle him until he stopped crying. I never really knew why he was scared of them I just knew if there was a storm I was garenteed a visit from Alex. I want to be near him. I want to hold something of his, just to prove that he is coming back. I pull out my phone and text Rian asking him if I could watch Alex's dogs for a little while. He agrees and says he'll bring them and their stuff over when he leaves to spend a week at Cassadee's. That should make me feel better but it doesn't really. I take a deep breath and try to calm down but I can't. I just start crying harder. I miss him so so bad and I'm so scared he isn't going to come back. I don't even care about going back on tour. We never have to tour again if Alex doesn't want to. I just want my best friend back. I know it would kill the fans if we stopped touring and putting out new music but I would give it all up in a heart beat to have Alex back. I would give up everything to have him back. I've never felt the urdge to hurt myself, until now that is. I t feels like my whole world is crashing down around me. Everything hurts and I can't control any of it. Now I know why Zack did it. It was the only pain in his life that he could control. The only things in his life that was completely up to him. But I can't bring myslef to do it. I know that it won't solve any of my problems. It might help me forget for a while but everything will still be here. So I pull out a pen insteed of a razon and I write. I decide to take Alex's advice and grow up. But I'm growing up in my own way. I write a song about something serious. It's a start for me. a step in the right direction. The song is called The Reckless -and- The Brave. It's abpit when we first started the band and we where really starting to realize that we could actually go somewhere. After all the lyrics are down on paper I pull out my guitar. I start playing. It's been a while since I've actually played. I usually just play one or two lines in a song on stage and dick around for the rest of the time. But not tonight. Tonight I'm going to play. Tonight I'm playing for Alex. After a while of strumming I start to sing the lyrics and they seem to fit perfectly with the upbeat rythem of the guitar, so I go for it and keep singing.
Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live us
Looking out at a town called Suburbia
Everybody's just fighting to fit in
Little rats running mazes, having babies
It's a vicious little world that we live in
Looking back at a life on the other side
I realize that I didn't fit in
Didn't hate it, but I didn't quite relate it
To my precious little world.
[Chorus]
So long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
And long live the fast times, so come what may.
I don't think I'll ever be saved
Our song has not been sung
Long live us
Breaking out of a town called Suburbia
I remember everybody always saying:
"Little brat must be crazy, never make it, in our vicious little world."
Still I'm leaving
Got a van, got a chance, got my dignity
Got a dream, got a spark, got somewhere to be
Take a breath , say goodbye
To their precious little world
So long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
And long live the fast times, so come what may.
I don't think I'll ever be saved
Our song has not been sung
Long live us
Long live us
So long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
And long live the fast times, so come what may.
I don't think I'll ever be saved, I know
Our song has not been sung
Long live us
Long live us
And when the song is finally over I feel better. I don't feel as lost or as hopeless. I'm not crying anymore either, Now I understand why writing was always Alex's go to thing. Everytime he was upset or scared He'd pull out the notebook and pen he always carried with him and he'd just write, and when he was done he seemed fine. It was his escape, his release from all the pain and the things he wouldn't control in his life, And now it's mine too. I look up from the guitar and see Zack standing in the door way. He looks shocked. A big smile spreeds across his face as he walks into the room. He sits on the bed adn becons me toward him. I set the guitar down and walk over to him. He takes me into his lap and hugs me.
"Did you write that?" he asks
"Yeah.."
"It's amazing baby."
"Thank you."
"I bet Alex would be proud." I just sigh and close my eyes tightly to keep the tears back. He pulls me into him and I put my arms around his head and put my head in the crook of his neck. Zack starts rubbing cirlces all up and down my back.
"You really miss him don't you baby?" I just nod my head and sniffle. He pulls me arms lengh away from him and looks me in the eyes.
"He's going to come back. I promise you he's coming back. Even if I have to go out there and find him myself. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get him back. I miss him, Rian misses him, everyone misses him but most of all you miss him and I want you to be happy again." I don't say anything back because there really isn't anything I can say. I just want to tell him how much I love him and how happy I am that he's mine. But he knows. Of course he know.
"Zack, I love you. I love you so much more than you will ever know. I still get butterflys when we hold hands and every kiss feels like the first time. I know I'm not the best at teling you how I feel but I don't ever want to lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He says kissing me on the forehead. He pulls me to lay down next to him on the bed.
"I love you with all my heart Jack Barakat"
"I love you too Zack Merrick."
Pairing: Merrikat
Author: alltimelow09876
POV: Jack
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own these lovely boys.
this is all fake blah blah blah you know the drill
A/N Sorry I didn't update last week. My mind has
been all over the place and I've had so much to do
before school ends. I had a bit of writers block so I'm
sorry if this chapter is not the best I'll try to do better
next time. Thanks so much for reading you guys :)
http://alltimelow09876.livejournal.com/2593.html
Its been a few days since I found the letter. I decide that it's only right to show Matt, so I fold it up and put it in an envelope. I write Matt's adress on the front, and my return adress above it. I stick a stamp on it and throw it in the mail box. I walk back upstairs and sit at my desk. I hear the rumble of thunder and it starts to pour. It reminds me of Alex. I put my head down on my desk and cry. The storm is ragging outside and all I can think about is Alex. He was always scared of storms. Everytime there was a storm he would crawl into my bunk and I'd cuddle him until he stopped crying. I never really knew why he was scared of them I just knew if there was a storm I was garenteed a visit from Alex. I want to be near him. I want to hold something of his, just to prove that he is coming back. I pull out my phone and text Rian asking him if I could watch Alex's dogs for a little while. He agrees and says he'll bring them and their stuff over when he leaves to spend a week at Cassadee's. That should make me feel better but it doesn't really. I take a deep breath and try to calm down but I can't. I just start crying harder. I miss him so so bad and I'm so scared he isn't going to come back. I don't even care about going back on tour. We never have to tour again if Alex doesn't want to. I just want my best friend back. I know it would kill the fans if we stopped touring and putting out new music but I would give it all up in a heart beat to have Alex back. I would give up everything to have him back. I've never felt the urdge to hurt myself, until now that is. I t feels like my whole world is crashing down around me. Everything hurts and I can't control any of it. Now I know why Zack did it. It was the only pain in his life that he could control. The only things in his life that was completely up to him. But I can't bring myslef to do it. I know that it won't solve any of my problems. It might help me forget for a while but everything will still be here. So I pull out a pen insteed of a razon and I write. I decide to take Alex's advice and grow up. But I'm growing up in my own way. I write a song about something serious. It's a start for me. a step in the right direction. The song is called The Reckless -and- The Brave. It's abpit when we first started the band and we where really starting to realize that we could actually go somewhere. After all the lyrics are down on paper I pull out my guitar. I start playing. It's been a while since I've actually played. I usually just play one or two lines in a song on stage and dick around for the rest of the time. But not tonight. Tonight I'm going to play. Tonight I'm playing for Alex. After a while of strumming I start to sing the lyrics and they seem to fit perfectly with the upbeat rythem of the guitar, so I go for it and keep singing.
Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live us
Looking out at a town called Suburbia
Everybody's just fighting to fit in
Little rats running mazes, having babies
It's a vicious little world that we live in
Looking back at a life on the other side
I realize that I didn't fit in
Didn't hate it, but I didn't quite relate it
To my precious little world.
[Chorus]
So long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
And long live the fast times, so come what may.
I don't think I'll ever be saved
Our song has not been sung
Long live us
Breaking out of a town called Suburbia
I remember everybody always saying:
"Little brat must be crazy, never make it, in our vicious little world."
Still I'm leaving
Got a van, got a chance, got my dignity
Got a dream, got a spark, got somewhere to be
Take a breath , say goodbye
To their precious little world
So long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
And long live the fast times, so come what may.
I don't think I'll ever be saved
Our song has not been sung
Long live us
Long live us
So long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
And long live the fast times, so come what may.
I don't think I'll ever be saved, I know
Our song has not been sung
Long live us
Long live us
And when the song is finally over I feel better. I don't feel as lost or as hopeless. I'm not crying anymore either, Now I understand why writing was always Alex's go to thing. Everytime he was upset or scared He'd pull out the notebook and pen he always carried with him and he'd just write, and when he was done he seemed fine. It was his escape, his release from all the pain and the things he wouldn't control in his life, And now it's mine too. I look up from the guitar and see Zack standing in the door way. He looks shocked. A big smile spreeds across his face as he walks into the room. He sits on the bed adn becons me toward him. I set the guitar down and walk over to him. He takes me into his lap and hugs me.
"Did you write that?" he asks
"Yeah.."
"It's amazing baby."
"Thank you."
"I bet Alex would be proud." I just sigh and close my eyes tightly to keep the tears back. He pulls me into him and I put my arms around his head and put my head in the crook of his neck. Zack starts rubbing cirlces all up and down my back.
"You really miss him don't you baby?" I just nod my head and sniffle. He pulls me arms lengh away from him and looks me in the eyes.
"He's going to come back. I promise you he's coming back. Even if I have to go out there and find him myself. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get him back. I miss him, Rian misses him, everyone misses him but most of all you miss him and I want you to be happy again." I don't say anything back because there really isn't anything I can say. I just want to tell him how much I love him and how happy I am that he's mine. But he knows. Of course he know.
"Zack, I love you. I love you so much more than you will ever know. I still get butterflys when we hold hands and every kiss feels like the first time. I know I'm not the best at teling you how I feel but I don't ever want to lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He says kissing me on the forehead. He pulls me to lay down next to him on the bed.
"I love you with all my heart Jack Barakat"
"I love you too Zack Merrick."