The Rumour (Chapter 4)
Title: The Rumour (4/?)
Author: badenoughforyou
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Summary:Jack has fallen inevitably head over heels for his best friend. Truth is, Alex doesn't feel the same way until the night one "staged" kiss changes that all forever
Disclaimer: none of this is real blah blah I don't own anyone. Title cred goes to YMAS
Master Post
Alex felt the life draining out of him. No. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t let that boy live. Not without him saying how sorry he was. He never wanted Jack to hate him, but he wouldn’t blame the other boy if he did. He sat for a moment, bringing the shaking glass to his lips and practically choking on the substance. But he knew he was doing the wrong thing.
Before he knew what he was going to do, he felt himself walking towards the door. Walking was an understatement. It was more of a sprint. He couldn’t let this moment slip away. It could be his only chance to make things right. Or at least try…
He ran out the door, ignoring the shouts from the bar tender.
“Put it on my tab!” He yelled back and ran down the sidewalk, panicked and looking around. He bumped into people left and right, but he didn’t really give a shit. He just wanted Jack. If he had to plow over a few people in the process, then so be it.
Then he saw him. But he was in the window of a moving taxi. Alex didn’t take the time to think the situation over. He just reacted. He ran as fast as his legs could take him. The traffic was a little slow, but it was still hard to keep up. He didn’t even notice the burning in his legs.
He was cut off by cars, but he wasn’t about to give up that easily. As if he was in some kind of action movie, he jumped on the back of one of the cars, walking over the roofs with a little trouble. He felt like superman, just a lot slower and clumsier. People beeped their horns and yelled out unkind terms, but he ignored it all. He had his eyes on the prize. He was on the last car before the taxi when he felt his brain finally kicking in.
What the fuck did he plan on doing once he’d made it to the taxi? It was obvious Jack didn’t want to speak to him and the situation made it a little difficult. He just pushed the thought back.
Tony and Jack sat unknowing in the taxi, Jack’s head on the other boy’s shoulder, feeling shaky.
“I just don’t feel well. I told you…” Jack mumbled for the hundredth time. His boyfriend obviously wasn’t fooled by Jack’s sudden odd behavior. Tony looked up front to see the traffic ahead when he saw something in the rearview mirror.
“Holy shit… Um… Are you sure you didn’t know that guy?” Tony asked, surprised to see Alex climbing over the car right behind them. Jack scrunched up his nose in confusion.
“What the fuck are you talking…?” He started the question, but ended it abruptly upon seeing Alex. What in God’s name was he doing? The first thing Jack worried about was if the boy got hurt…
“We need to get out…” Jack said, trying to be calm.
“What? Why?” Tony asked, confused. Jack was quickly impatient, opening his door and throwing a five at the taxi driver before getting out. Tony followed, but was nowhere near sure what the hell was going on. Jack hadn’t really talked about his past much.
Alex felt a breath of relief as he hopped off the car and stared back at the boy he’d been longing for all these years. He wanted to rush to him and hug him, breathing in that wonderful Jack scent and burying his face into his chest and…. But he couldn’t.
“C-can… I talk to you?” Alex asked.
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Truth be told, Jack did want to talk. He’d been waiting for this for two years. But could he give Alex that instant gratification? He couldn’t say no.
They sat silently in Jack’s apartment, not sure what to say or do. The only word Jack had uttered was “sure.” He had tried to act nonchalant as if he hadn’t been dreaming and thinking of the boy since the day he left. He wouldn’t give Alex that satisfaction. He had broken his heart either way.
Tony had gone out for a while. He figured he wasn’t needed. It was just Jack and Alex in the small apartment. Jack had lived and breathed for this moment, dreamed about it. But it was as anticlimactic as they came.
“I don’t know where to start…” Alex admitted, looking at the ground and feeling the guilt eating him up again.
“Why the fuck were you going all spider man over all those cars?” Jack asked, gripping himself, crossing his arms tightly. At one time, Alex could hear him saying that in his goofy voice, but now even the silly statement sounded subdued.
Alex felt his cheeks turning crimson as he cleared his throat and tried to come up with an answer.
“I… I couldn’t let you go without… saying some things.” Alex said, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair. Jack ached to do the same to him. But he stayed silent, wanting Alex to continue.
“I’m so stupid, Jack…” Alex said, smiling sadly and feeling tears instantly running down his cheeks. “I can’t live like this…” He confessed, burying his face into his knees that he’s brought to his chest. He felt Jack’s warm hand on his arm. He was surprised by the amount of distance he’d closed. He was surprised he even wanted to look at him, let alone touch him.
“You have to hate me…” Alex murmured, choking on his words.
“I could never hate you, Lex.” Jack said, the nickname pushing the older boy over the edge. He felt his throat constricting as he gasped for the air he couldn’t get. Jack felt his heart breaking once again, but not for himself. He always expected Alex would have moved on and that he was the one fretting for two years. But it wasn’t the case at all.
“Alex… Please don’t.” Jack begged softly, holding the older boy closer and rubbing his back, trying to calm him. “You’re going to pass out…” Jack said as if he was talking to a scared little boy getting his first shot.
Jack’s touch and words made Alex’s breathing return to normal. He still couldn’t speak, but at least he could hear Jack. Beautiful, lovely Jack.
“I made a mistake…” He managed to choke out. Jack couldn’t find a reason to disagree with that statement. They sat in silence for a moment on the floor of Jack’s apartment, just soaking each other in.
“I missed you… so much.” Jack said, finally letting his emotions through. Alex looked up at him through tear soaked eyes.
“How could you miss me? I was awful to you…” Alex said, feeling his heart beating in his chest faster.
“It didn’t matter… not those last few months, Alex. But everything before that did… Everything. Every moment of every day we were ever together was what made me believe you would come back… and you did.” Jack said, smiling miserably.
“What if I hadn’t?” Alex asked, stroking the boy’s hair absent mindedly.
“I would have kept waiting…” Jack said, not skipping a beat.That phrase made Alex feel even worse. The image of Jack being an old, frail man, never doubting that he would come back, made the older boy feel wretched and awful.
“Why? What am I?” Alex asked, begging for an answer. He felt he wasn’t worthy of anyone. Not Lisa. Especially not Jack. Jack thought of all the things Alex was.
“Alex, you’ve been my best friend since eighth grade… I know your highs and lows and your flaws… and perfections. I know you inside and out and I’m pretty sure I know you better than I know myself… And even though you have a lot of flaws, I love them all…” Jack said, finishing with that explanation.
But this all seemed to be working out way too well. Alex knew it wouldn’t last. It was just the way he’d come to be over the past two years without Jack’s constant optimism.
“Lisa broke up with me.” Alex said suddenly. Jack’s eyes widened and he gave him an odd look.
“What happened?” Jack asked, loosening his grip on the other boy at the mention of significant others. He had almost forgotten about Tony and that made him nauseous.
“She said… she said that I shouldn’t have let you go…” Alex said, looking at the ground. Jack stiffened.
“So… so this is the reason you found me. Just to start where we left off and expect me to be totally okay with it because of that. Well, in case you didn’t notice, I did move on…” Jack said, lying through his teeth. Alex somehow knew, but he still felt the blow.
“That’s not what I was… Jack, please…” He begged, feeling his heart shattering.
“Look, you broke my heart… You threw it on the ground and you never listened to MY pleas. You never listened to what I had to say. I begged you to stay, but you left anyway because you don’t care about me. You wouldn’t have left if you did.” Jack said, now distanced and shaking.
“But I was wrong, Jack!” Alex cried, standing up to meet him. “I was so wrong and I should have just accepted it… I shouldn’t have tried to make myself someone I’m not and never will be.” Alex said, but knew he didn’t have much room to feel horrible. Jack looked at him expressionlessly.
“If you love someone, you should set them free. But not if they don’t want to be.” Alex said, feeling his heart pounding at Lisa’s words.
“Do you have a place to crash?” Jack asked, looking away and walking towards the kitchen. Alex bit his lip. This was some kind of progress, he supposed.
“Yeah, I have-“ But he was cut off.
“You can stay here tonight…” Jack suggested pouring a glass of rum and coke. Alex was confused by the sudden change in Jack’s mood. He felt sick to his stomach, but he nodded, determined to make this all right again.