Bite My Tongue
Title: Bite My Tongue (1/1)
Author: badenoughforyou
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jalex
Summary: I bite my tongue so you won't hear me.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone and title cred goes to You Me at Six.
[A/N] Okay, I've been doing a lot of short stories, I know, but I'll get back to my actual story as soon as possible. <3
Jack Barakat wasn't like everyone else and Alex could see that from the start. He was different in the way he carried himself and in the way that he didn't give a shit about what anyone else thought. He was lanky and kind of weird looking, but attractive in an unconventional way. Alex expected him to be a big deal in school for those reasons, but it turned out to be a much different story.
"This is Jack Barakat. I expect you'll give him the warmest of greetings and try to help him out these first few days." The teacher said, introducing the tall male at the front of the class. He looked a bit nervous at the attention, but his smile betrayed his eyes. Alex fiddled with his pencil, chewing on the end absent-mindedly before looking up to the front, immediately dropping his pencil with a small clatter. He took a gulp and surveyed the boy at the front, admiring him silently.
"Why don't you sit over by Mr. Gaskarth? He seems to be actually paying attention today." The teacher stated curtly, motioning Jack to sit next to Alex. Alex's eyes grew wide and he felt suddenly nervous. He was going to make a fool of himself, for sure. Jack sat down and gave Alex a small smile that made the other boy melt. Not that he would ever admit to it, though. But despite the tension Alex felt, Jack didn't say anything to him.
Come lunch time, everyone had heard about "the new kid". But there was something else that the teacher hadn't mentioned earlier in his introduction.
Alex sat down with his usual group, consisting of Matt, Vinny, Zack, Rian, and Jeremy. He pushed around the mystery meat on his tray, listening to his friends' conversations idly.
"Did you hear the new kid's a fag?" Vinny said, chuckling. Alex stopped what he was doing and listened closer.
"It's kind of obvious, yeah." Jeremy replied, an obvious hint of repulsion in his voice.
"Come on, there's nothing wrong with that." Matt countered, but was silenced by the obvious judgement shrouding the table. Alex felt all eyes boring into him.
"Didn't you say you sat by him in English?" Zack asked, taking a sip of his water.
"M'yeah…" Alex mumbled, not really wanting to talk about the subject. Alex always knew he was gay, but he'd never told anyone, nor had he even liked to talk about it.
"Well, what did you think of 'im?" Vinny asked.
"He seems nice." Alex said simply.
"Make sure he doesn't rub off on you." Jeremy said bitterly. Alex's blood began to boil. Why did he hang out with such assholes?
"He's not going to 'rub off' on me." Alex said, suddenly defensive. He soon realized that it was probably a mistake.
"Since when are you a queer lover?" Vinny asked. Alex's cheeks burned, but he refused to meet the eyes of judgement. Before he had the chance to redeem himself, he heard a voice behind him.
"Hey, Alex… Um, you mind if I sit here?" Jack asked. The confidence seemed to have leaked out of his voice and Alex could practically feel the uncertainty and rejection in his voice. He opened his mouth to reply, but knew that one of his "friends" would cut in before he could get in a word.
"Yeah, we do mind. Talk to the whole table next time, buddy." Jeremy said smugly as if he'd made a highly intellectual joke. Alex felt embarrassed and looked down at his tray, not wanting to say a word. He didn't know what to say.
"Like I wanted to sit with you guys anyway." Jack countered, his voice recovering some of its grandeur, but Alex could hear the rejection behind the boy's words. He felt as if he'd been punched in the gut multiple times. Why didn't he say anything? He felt sick. He wanted to run after the lanky boy and tell him he could definitely sit with them, but he didn't. He was scared and selfish, just as usual.
"You guys are dicks." Matt muttered, but got no response from the snickering crew. He looked at Alex, who still was looking down at his tray. And in that moment, Matt knew exactly what was up, but he didn't say a word.
"I'll see you losers in Chem…" Matt said, stealing a glance at Alex before getting up and walking away.
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"I know, Alex." Matt said after last period as Alex slammed his locker door shut.
"Flyzik… are you coming up with your weird prophecies again?" Alex asked nervously, adjusting his backpack. Matt rolled his eyes and shook his head. He looked around before looking back at Alex.
"You. Like. Jack." Matt said simply with a small smile. Alex could feel the color draining out of his face.
"N-no, he just got here… I mean! No, he's a guy…" Alex said, floundering in his own words. Matt just laughed.
"Dude, I know that too…" Matt said.
"Am I that obvious?" Alex whispered, looking down at his shoes.
"I'm not going to tell anyone, Lex. And for the record, you're not obvious at all. I'm just really good at reading people." Matt said, biting his lip ring. Alex exhaled sharply.
"I'm such a dick…" He groaned, leaning up against the lockers.
"No, you're not. You're just scared and that's understandable." Matt said, putting a hand on the other boy's shoulder. The touch made Alex feel calm again and he took a deep breath.
"Alright, but I still feel like shit not standing up for him in lunch." Alex said, but was suddenly caught off guard by the sound of a tussle down the hall. He heard something slamming against the lockers and then a groan, followed by laughing. He felt the air go out of his lungs. He had a hunch.
He ran to the source and covered his mouth to keep from gasping as he saw Jack on the floor holding his nose in his hands. He looked like he was about to cry, but he stood back up. Alex looked to see Jeremy and Vinny laughing like idiots, Zack and Rian spectating and not looking too sure, but laughing nonetheless.
Matt was the first to intervene.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He asked, bewildered and looking at Jack then back to his "friends".
"Oh, we were just having some fun. Nothing much. Just a little greeting." Jeremy said, giving Jack a look. The color seemed to drain from the boy's face and he looked as if he was going to pass out. He could practically feel the lockers against his face again.
"Okay, I get it. Being close to the top of the social hierarchy has gotten to your head, but that's not the way to treat someone because of something they can't help!" Matt said, outraged. Everyone got quiet. They knew Matt was opinionated, but never to this extent. It was as if he'd just snapped. He turned to look at Alex, who stood motionless, hands still over his mouth.
"Would you like to add anything?" Matt asked breathlessly. Alex did. He wanted to say everything and anything, but he couldn't find the words. He couldn't make his mouth move, but he could sure make his feet move. Before anyone had the chance to process anything, Alex was bolting, down the hall, out the doors. He felt hot tears making their way down his cheeks. He clutched his stomach. He stopped when he finally made it home, wrenching in the grass, but nothing coming up. He laid there for a while, wallowing in unspoken words. He felt awful. Everything in him screamed "coward".
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The next day was absolutely unbearable. Matt had called him at least ten times the night before, but never got an answer. He even debated skipping school, but that would prolong it and make him even more anxious, something he didn't really feel keen about doing if he could help it.
He couldn't meet Jack's eyes as he walked in, but when he stole a quick glance sideways, he didn't see the raven haired boy sitting next to him, giving him a small smile like the day before. Instead he saw an empty seat. He felt his heart ache. He could have stopped this.
"Matt… I'm so sorry about yesterday… I-I…" Alex started as he met his friend in History.
"It's okay." Matt said, pulling his friend into a hug.
"I need to talk to Jack." Alex said against the other boy's shoulder.
"He's not here today, but he said he'd be here tomorrow." Matt said, smiling softly.
"You talk to him?" Alex asked.
"Yeah, after yesterday's little altercation, we talked for a while over coffee. He seems to have a thing for you." Matt said, smirking.
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But Alex didn't talk to Jack. Not the next day. Not the next. Or the next.
Not until the day it just kept going downhill.
"Why don't you just kill yourself? Nobody wants you here or anywhere." Jeremy spat at the scared boy opposite him.
"It would be a hell of a lot nicer to be fag free again." Vinny added with a smirk.
But unlike the last few days, Jack said nothing. He just looked hollow and afraid.
That was the first time Alex stepped in.
"You know what? Why don't you just shut the fuck up? Why am I even friends with you? Honestly." Alex said suddenly, Vinny and Jeremy looking taken aback. They had never heard Alex raise his voice, especially not at them. Alex looked over at Jack. The younger boy looked as if spiderman had just swooped in and saved him from the Green Goblin.
"Oh, and while you're at it, making fun of him, you might as well save some of your great jests for me, you fuckers." Alex said. Their eyes widened.
"You're… you're like him?" Vinny asked, more shocked than anything. Alex nodded and admired the complete confusion he'd caused.
"Yeah, I love dick. What are you going to do about it? Beat the fag out of me?" Alex asked, but felt his voice faltering as they both took a step forward. He looked back at Jack and as if they'd made some unspoken agreement, they both ran. They didn't stop until they'd reached Alex's yard. He assumed Jack just followed his lead.
They dropped onto the grass, gasping for precious air and laughing too hard. About what, they weren't sure.
When they both finally stopped, they rolled to face each other. Alex shivered at the feeling of Jack's breath on his neck. It was obvious there was something there. Even though the two boys hardly knew one another, they could feel the chemistry coursing between them.
"Why did you do that for me?" Jack asked, finally catching his breath.
"I… I felt like I needed to make up for the past week. I haven't been the best to you…" Alex admitted, not able to meet those chocolate eyes.
"It's okay… I just wish you would have done it sooner." Jack said, smiling softly. Alex was confused as to what he meant. He felt the other boy's hot breath on his lips, making him shudder.
"W-why?" Alex asked, not able to form a proper response. The other boy shrugged and gave him a knowing look.
"It's kind of obvious I like you, eh?" Jack asked, moving ever so closer to Alex. Alex could feel his heart racing in his chest.
"Not… not that obvious." Alex said, his breath hitching. Jack just laughed softly.
"Well, I wanted to get to know you… It's killing me knowing that you're still this big mystery to me…" Jack said, his voice getting lower. Alex could hear more behind his words. "I just… I wanted to find out if this was anything…" Jack said and slowly pressed his lips to the other boy's.
And God dammit, it was something.
At the connection, Alex was confused, but it all felt so good. It was a completely new feeling, but it made his gut churn with butterflies and his heart beat fast. He couldn't keep himself from clutching the front of the other boy's shirt and pulling him closer. Alex had never felt like this and on Jack's end, he could never remember kissing a boy for the first time and feeling such a reaction.
Jack finally pulled away reluctantly, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest.
"Okay, I guess I'm damn good and guessing…" He said breathlessly, pulling the older boy back in for the second time.
It wouldn't be the last. Far from it.