A Lesson In Romantics - Jalex - Prologue
Title: A Lesson In Romantics
Pairing: Jalex
Author: Me, CherylMcMinorrr
Chapter: Prologue
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone and this isn’t true. The title belongs to Mayday Parade.
Summary: “You still think you can just teach yourself to fall in love with him? Love isn’t just something you can force yourself to feel, you‘ve got to mean it.”
A/N: I was honestly planning on writing something that wasn’t Jalex next, but I was trying to sleep and couldn’t and then this idea sort of came to me and got stuck in my head and I had to write it down. At the start it sounds like it's going to be completely angsty, I've not planned for it to be, so I assure you it's not going to be a total angst-fest all the way through.
Fiction List ; Tumblr
Friendship. Love. Friendship and love. They’re two different things, but they’re also one in the same. Any good friendship also involves love, not usually romantic love, but love none the less. Any lasting, healthy relationship also requires friendship. They work in sync with each other balancing the other out. Well what about if you have too much of one and not enough of the other? What if you love your friend in a way you shouldn’t? Or, more to the point, what if you only see someone you’re supposed to love as a friend? When everything‘s shifted out of balance, will both your love and your friendship be tested and tried? Can they survive?
-
All Time Low‘s tour bus. Most of the band and crew are sleeping or in the pretence of sleep, too tired or worn out to do anything other than lie in the dark waiting for sleep to arrive or to be lulled into sleep by the movement of the bus and the soft purring of the engine. All except Jack and Rian, the younger man having dragged the older from his bunk with pleas to talk and the insistence that it can‘t wait. Their muffled voices fill the back lounge in mid-conversation, just managing to keep them low enough for the other occupants of the bus not to hear.
“And you said that you didn’t?”
“Well, uh, not exactly. I maybe, sort of panicked and told him I shared his feelings.”
“Do you?”
“No. I mean, don't get me wrong he’s my best friend and I'm closer to him than most other people, but I can’t see myself being, you know, with him.” Jack fidgets in his seat uncomfortably as he speaks.
“So then when are you going to tell him the truth? Please say sooner rather than later, it'll only get worse the longer you leave it. You‘re gonna need to break it to him gently, have you though about what you‘re gonna say?”
His voice of reason was basically why Jack had chose to speak to Rian. Rian wouldn't tell you off for what you couldn't change or tell you what you should have done, but instead try to help you fix your mistakes.
“What? Er- I don’t know. You didn’t see how happy it made him. He was so, so happy. I mean, I can’t just say one thing, then say another the next day. Can I? He‘ll be so hurt and upset and I‘ll lose him as a friend because he‘ll probably hate me forever.” He lets out a sigh, putting his face in his hands.
“Well, what can you do? He'll understand, Jack. Friends tend to be understanding. Especially friends like Alex. You can’t just pretend to have feelings that you don’t have.”
“I could just go along with the flow and see what happens.” He mumbles feebly, watching Rian's facial expression change at the mere suggestion.
“That’s a ridiculous idea. Did I not just say that you can’t pretend to have feelings for him? Can’t. Not can. He deserves the truth and an explanation, you know that as well as I do. Imagine you were in his shoes and he was in yours. You'd want him to come out with it and tell you, wouldn't you?"
"I wouldn't want him to hurt me, actually."
"Jack. Listen to yourself will you? You can't just go along with the flow. What if a good time to tell the truth never comes up? You'll be stuck in a relationship you don't want to be in, or it'll end in heart-break anyway. In the long run you‘ll grow to resent him for holding you back for all that time and probably won't understand why you didn't just tell him you didn't want to be with him to start with. There's a good chance he'll still end up hurt and you won't have a friendship left to salvage. Do you want that? It‘ll be a disaster, I can see it now. Do what you need to, you can't just fabricate a relationship on nothing. Think about it.”
“I just- He was happier than I’ve seen him in a long time though, I can’t- I’m sure if I play along for a while- or as long as I need to. It’s not like I’m totally uncomfortable about doing this stuff with him, I just… Just don’t feel anything. Not like that. You don't know how all this will pan out, you can only say what you think will happen. What if, actually, everything works out for the best?”
“So basically, you’re gonna live a lie even though you have a chance to call this off now with minimalist drama and no future problems? And don’t forget, as well as lying to yourself, you’re also going to be lying to him. That wouldn’t make him happy now, would it? When you’re holding hands or cuddling or whatever else and secretly wishing he was someone else. And when he eventually tells you he loves you, when you reply, you’re just going to be lying to yourself and to him. Yes Jack, your plan makes complete sense, why didn’t I realise this is what you had in mind right from the beginning of this conversation? Excuse my sarcasm.”
“No. Say what you like, Rian. I do love him. I’m just not in love with him. I do care about him. I just don‘t feel the same way I would for a girlfriend, it doesn‘t mean I can‘t learn to have those feelings for him.”
“Oh, forgive me for my mistake.” Rian spat sarcastically, still trying to keep his voice down “I forget that you’re Jack Barakat and for some reason the normal rules of relationships don’t apply to you and you can just decide one day that yes, you are going to be in love with your best friend who you‘ve never though about in that way before in your life. See, as a normal person, it totally sounds like you’re just going to string him along for a while, but as you’re not a normal person, I guess not.”
“Really? Are you sure you’re not just making a mountain out of a mole hill because I think this is as simple as not wanting to break my best friend's heart, okay? Do you think any ‘normal person’, as you put it, wants to see their best friend heart broken because of them? No.”
“And lying to him is clearly the best way to go about not breaking his heart. Right? Right? Wrong. I really am trying to see your point of view, Jack, but to me the right thing to do seems clear. What about when he finds out about all this, huh?”
“He’s not going to.”
“You’re making all this sound too simple. Do you think it is? I swear, as well as idiotic, moronic, disastrous and doomed, a normal person would probably even go as far as to say you're suggesting playing mind games, but it’s fine right? Because such things don’t apply to you, you live in another universe where everything’s okay and happy and totally dedicated to Jack’s way of thinking and Jack’s way of thinking only and as long as you have Alex‘s best interests at heart, everything‘s going to work out well in the end, yeah? By your logic, it‘s totally okay to play someone as long as the reasoning is that you care about them? That should be the last thing you‘re doing to someone you care about.”
“How? How exactly? It’s not like we’re all going to be sitting here, having a good old laugh at his expense and a big girly gossip about how I’m stringing him along for whatever reason. No one knows how I really feel except you. And it’s going to stay that way. And it’s not like Alex is someone I hate. It’s Alex for fuck’s sake. Alex. My best friend. And yeah, I do have his best interests at heart. I do actually think it’s that simple. I want to make him happy, even if doing that means I have to force myself fall in love with him.”
“Force yourself? I give up. Good luck with that. Please don’t involve me in this madness. Don’t say I didn’t try and stop you or that I didn‘t tell you so. When everything falls apart you’re on your own. Good night.”
Rian was half way towards the bunks before the words had even finished leaving his mouth, leaving Jack alone, going over his plan or ‘madness’ or ‘idiotic -and whatever else Rian had called it- mind games’.
Pairing: Jalex
Author: Me, CherylMcMinorrr
Chapter: Prologue
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone and this isn’t true. The title belongs to Mayday Parade.
Summary: “You still think you can just teach yourself to fall in love with him? Love isn’t just something you can force yourself to feel, you‘ve got to mean it.”
A/N: I was honestly planning on writing something that wasn’t Jalex next, but I was trying to sleep and couldn’t and then this idea sort of came to me and got stuck in my head and I had to write it down. At the start it sounds like it's going to be completely angsty, I've not planned for it to be, so I assure you it's not going to be a total angst-fest all the way through.
Fiction List ; Tumblr
Friendship. Love. Friendship and love. They’re two different things, but they’re also one in the same. Any good friendship also involves love, not usually romantic love, but love none the less. Any lasting, healthy relationship also requires friendship. They work in sync with each other balancing the other out. Well what about if you have too much of one and not enough of the other? What if you love your friend in a way you shouldn’t? Or, more to the point, what if you only see someone you’re supposed to love as a friend? When everything‘s shifted out of balance, will both your love and your friendship be tested and tried? Can they survive?
-
All Time Low‘s tour bus. Most of the band and crew are sleeping or in the pretence of sleep, too tired or worn out to do anything other than lie in the dark waiting for sleep to arrive or to be lulled into sleep by the movement of the bus and the soft purring of the engine. All except Jack and Rian, the younger man having dragged the older from his bunk with pleas to talk and the insistence that it can‘t wait. Their muffled voices fill the back lounge in mid-conversation, just managing to keep them low enough for the other occupants of the bus not to hear.
“And you said that you didn’t?”
“Well, uh, not exactly. I maybe, sort of panicked and told him I shared his feelings.”
“Do you?”
“No. I mean, don't get me wrong he’s my best friend and I'm closer to him than most other people, but I can’t see myself being, you know, with him.” Jack fidgets in his seat uncomfortably as he speaks.
“So then when are you going to tell him the truth? Please say sooner rather than later, it'll only get worse the longer you leave it. You‘re gonna need to break it to him gently, have you though about what you‘re gonna say?”
His voice of reason was basically why Jack had chose to speak to Rian. Rian wouldn't tell you off for what you couldn't change or tell you what you should have done, but instead try to help you fix your mistakes.
“What? Er- I don’t know. You didn’t see how happy it made him. He was so, so happy. I mean, I can’t just say one thing, then say another the next day. Can I? He‘ll be so hurt and upset and I‘ll lose him as a friend because he‘ll probably hate me forever.” He lets out a sigh, putting his face in his hands.
“Well, what can you do? He'll understand, Jack. Friends tend to be understanding. Especially friends like Alex. You can’t just pretend to have feelings that you don’t have.”
“I could just go along with the flow and see what happens.” He mumbles feebly, watching Rian's facial expression change at the mere suggestion.
“That’s a ridiculous idea. Did I not just say that you can’t pretend to have feelings for him? Can’t. Not can. He deserves the truth and an explanation, you know that as well as I do. Imagine you were in his shoes and he was in yours. You'd want him to come out with it and tell you, wouldn't you?"
"I wouldn't want him to hurt me, actually."
"Jack. Listen to yourself will you? You can't just go along with the flow. What if a good time to tell the truth never comes up? You'll be stuck in a relationship you don't want to be in, or it'll end in heart-break anyway. In the long run you‘ll grow to resent him for holding you back for all that time and probably won't understand why you didn't just tell him you didn't want to be with him to start with. There's a good chance he'll still end up hurt and you won't have a friendship left to salvage. Do you want that? It‘ll be a disaster, I can see it now. Do what you need to, you can't just fabricate a relationship on nothing. Think about it.”
“I just- He was happier than I’ve seen him in a long time though, I can’t- I’m sure if I play along for a while- or as long as I need to. It’s not like I’m totally uncomfortable about doing this stuff with him, I just… Just don’t feel anything. Not like that. You don't know how all this will pan out, you can only say what you think will happen. What if, actually, everything works out for the best?”
“So basically, you’re gonna live a lie even though you have a chance to call this off now with minimalist drama and no future problems? And don’t forget, as well as lying to yourself, you’re also going to be lying to him. That wouldn’t make him happy now, would it? When you’re holding hands or cuddling or whatever else and secretly wishing he was someone else. And when he eventually tells you he loves you, when you reply, you’re just going to be lying to yourself and to him. Yes Jack, your plan makes complete sense, why didn’t I realise this is what you had in mind right from the beginning of this conversation? Excuse my sarcasm.”
“No. Say what you like, Rian. I do love him. I’m just not in love with him. I do care about him. I just don‘t feel the same way I would for a girlfriend, it doesn‘t mean I can‘t learn to have those feelings for him.”
“Oh, forgive me for my mistake.” Rian spat sarcastically, still trying to keep his voice down “I forget that you’re Jack Barakat and for some reason the normal rules of relationships don’t apply to you and you can just decide one day that yes, you are going to be in love with your best friend who you‘ve never though about in that way before in your life. See, as a normal person, it totally sounds like you’re just going to string him along for a while, but as you’re not a normal person, I guess not.”
“Really? Are you sure you’re not just making a mountain out of a mole hill because I think this is as simple as not wanting to break my best friend's heart, okay? Do you think any ‘normal person’, as you put it, wants to see their best friend heart broken because of them? No.”
“And lying to him is clearly the best way to go about not breaking his heart. Right? Right? Wrong. I really am trying to see your point of view, Jack, but to me the right thing to do seems clear. What about when he finds out about all this, huh?”
“He’s not going to.”
“You’re making all this sound too simple. Do you think it is? I swear, as well as idiotic, moronic, disastrous and doomed, a normal person would probably even go as far as to say you're suggesting playing mind games, but it’s fine right? Because such things don’t apply to you, you live in another universe where everything’s okay and happy and totally dedicated to Jack’s way of thinking and Jack’s way of thinking only and as long as you have Alex‘s best interests at heart, everything‘s going to work out well in the end, yeah? By your logic, it‘s totally okay to play someone as long as the reasoning is that you care about them? That should be the last thing you‘re doing to someone you care about.”
“How? How exactly? It’s not like we’re all going to be sitting here, having a good old laugh at his expense and a big girly gossip about how I’m stringing him along for whatever reason. No one knows how I really feel except you. And it’s going to stay that way. And it’s not like Alex is someone I hate. It’s Alex for fuck’s sake. Alex. My best friend. And yeah, I do have his best interests at heart. I do actually think it’s that simple. I want to make him happy, even if doing that means I have to force myself fall in love with him.”
“Force yourself? I give up. Good luck with that. Please don’t involve me in this madness. Don’t say I didn’t try and stop you or that I didn‘t tell you so. When everything falls apart you’re on your own. Good night.”
Rian was half way towards the bunks before the words had even finished leaving his mouth, leaving Jack alone, going over his plan or ‘madness’ or ‘idiotic -and whatever else Rian had called it- mind games’.