Got My Ticket [1/1]
Title: Got My Ticket
Author: Eve atlaregay
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Ain't my boys. Title and lyrics to When I'm Gone by Anna Kendrick.
Summary: Alex wants to leave. Jack wants to stay.
A/N: My friend Megan was doing The Cup Song that inspired this at school, from the movie Pitch Perfect, when we were in cooking class, back when it first came out. So I listened to the song and then had it on repeat for hours. It's taken me months to actually write this. Like, I came up with the idea... then sorta wrote a teeny tiny plan for it weeks later... and now it's been absolutely forever since Pitch Perfect came out but hey, it's done! Not my best, I'd say, but I never wanted to abandon the idea.
I got my ticket for the long way round, two bottle'a whiskey for the way, and I sure would like some sweet company, and I'm leaving tomorrow, what do ya say?
Alex was standing in the door of my apartment, bags packed at his feet, jacket on. The one I loved to borrow so much because it smelled like him. He had a pre-bought train ticket sticking out from the front pocket of his jeans, tucking it in deeper when he saw me looking.
"You're going?"
I sounded soft and broken. I knew he would, but the loss would make me crumble.
"You knew I was gonna," he replied, almost whispering.
Alex wanted travel. He'd said it so many times since I met him the year before. "I want to take a year out and just go wherever the road takes me," he'd say. And I'd hang on his every word because the twenty-year-old male was the most beautiful captivating thing I had ever seen in my whole life. I didn't know what I'd do without him, without his kisses. Once it had all just been pillow-talk but his desire to leave this place at least temporarily only grew stronger.
"Technically, I'm not actually leaving until tomorrow, but I left my apartment today. Rian helped me box everything up to take to my parent's place later this week; I gave him twenty dollars to do it for me. I don't have much stuff anyways."
"Isn't he upset you're going? He'll be in that apartment all alone..." I frowned sadly.
"Oh, he said he was sad, but there's a bright side, because now he and Cass don't have to worry about being quiet when they fuck. And they can do it wherever they like. I suggested the kitchen counter and the sofa," Alex grinned.
I laughed, but although it was funny, I had to force it. Just a little.
"Anyways... I got two bottles of whiskey for the trip. I was hoping you'd share a celebration drink with me?"
I smiled genuinely that time. How Alex loved his whiskey.
"Come stay at my parent's with me for tonight," he continued with the offers, his voice growing even more hopeful -- I could really hear it this time.
And I couldn't refuse him either. Not Alex Gaskarth.
"Okay," I gave in, breathing out a small smile.
"I'd like the company. And I don't just mean for tonight."
I looked up from the floor, the main focus of my attention to try and hide the disappointment etched on my face that he was really leaving me.
"I leave tomorrow, Jack. What do you say?" he smiled, fingers flexing at his sides.
He'd talked of me coming with him some day on this legendary trip before, after we surpassed seven months of our relationship, and I had played along, but this was a real offer. All of the times before, I had fantasised of visiting new places, but then I'd replace those with excuses and worry over missing my family, getting homesick, costs... anything. I wasn't as free-spirited as Alex. I belonged somewhere sheltered and familiar.
Alex must have known I'd hesitate, because his expression changed from a smile, but it wasn't disappointment or sadness that came in its place.
I got my ticket for the long way round, the one with the prettiest of views. It's got mountains, it's got rivers, it's got sights to give you shivers but it sure would be prettier with you.
"It'll be beautiful, Jack. All the places I'll see. You can't even imagine the view. I've only got a train ticket right now but that could lead me anywhere. I'll buy another, and another, and a bus ticket and a plane ticket and if they sold tickets for rocket trips to space, I'd buy one of those too. We could go wherever we pleased, Jack. I'm going to see the mountains and the rivers and watch the animals that live there. But it would be so special if you saw them with me."
I swallowed, listening to what was in his voice. Sincerity. And that expression. Determination. I shifted from foot to foot, turning the thought over and over in my mind. Just upping and leaving... for a whole year... it was the kind of impulsive thing that Alex would do, that Alex was doing, even though he'd been talking about it for so long. There had never been any concrete plans. Yet here he'd shown up on my doorstep out of nowhere ready to say goodbye for three hundred and sixty-five days. Impulsive was something I'd never been, and never would be. I just stood there, silent and awkward.
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone, you're gonna miss me by my hair, you're gonna miss me everywhere. You're gonna miss me by my walk, you're gonna miss me by my talk, oh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
When I didn't reply, Alex sighed quietly.
"You'll miss me when I'm gone, Jack," he warned. "I know you will. Everywhere you go, I'll remind you of me, with something, somehow."
He could read me inside out. I was his book, his diary. He didn't just read me, he wrote me, he knew me.
I would miss him.
The scent of his hair, how soft it felt in the mornings when I secretly stroked it before he woke, tangling it between my fingers. I always breathed in deep on the pillows, the nights he wasn't around, because he left that Alex smell.
The way he walked, the confidence in his stride and step, always in front of the crowd rather than following. It created admiration among not only me, but strangers. I could see it in them when we passed together. And I liked that I could hang onto his arm and know I had him, this boy, this man.
The way he talked, spoke to me as if he were constantly dazzled by how I looked and responded.
The way he made me feel loved, wanted, cherished.
I couldn't even speak.
Oh, you're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone.
Alex sighed once more, sadly this time, through his nose as he stooped to pick up his bags.
"I'm really leaving, Jack. I won't still be here in twenty-four hours, this is happening," he said, his voice low, firm... final.
He turned away from me, letting the disappointment linger. He really did want me to come too.
"You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone," Alex breathed.
No guilt-tripping, just pure fact and sadness. I left the door open, listening to his steps down towards the elevator.
Alex wrote me. I would never have done what I did next if it wasn't for him. I couldn't let him go. Not when he'd given me so much.
"I'm coming with you!" I burst out, dashing out of my apartment just in time to see him turn.
The grin split his face and the tears streaked his skin, and his lips were all over mine as soon as he could drop his bags and run into my arms.
Hurriedly throwing things into bags, I found I wasn't worried, about any of it. Alex would remind me of home if I missed it, and though I would ache terribly for our friends and families... we'd see them when we came back. I would follow Alex's lead and go where the road took us.
We had our ticket for the long way round, and a wanderlust settled deep in our bones.