application ❤ aprigen
Player Name: Essay
Player Journal: skorupion
Are You Older Than 18?: Yes, 19.
Other Characters: N/A
Character Name: Tavros Nitram
Canon: Homestuck [AU]
How does the AU differ from OU canon?: The AU this guy is from, 4chords, is a completely different setting from Homestuck. In Homestuck, Tavros is a troll from Alternia as opposed to a human being, and partakes in the game SGRUB (alternatively SBURB for the human characters). The events that lead on are a bit complicated and long-winded, but the MSPA Wiki has everything one needs to know.
tl;dr Homestuck is about aliens and a weird game with some fortunate and unfortunate (mostly the latter) series of events.
In this 4chords AU, however, all of the characters live in New York and live out surprisingly average lives as compared to their canon alternatives. However, they bear basically very similar personalities and interests, if not completely the same. In the case of Tavros, he is entirely the same! He even names his self-esteem Rufio (confirmed by a translation of a ramble in the back of a comic panel by 4chords's creator, Emily) and such.
For even more reference, have canon!Tavros's wiki page.
Age: 21
Point Taken: Just a day before his confession to Gamzee.
Background:
Tavros Nitram grew up a young, relatively healthy, yet socially awkward boy in the state of New York, the only child of two well-off parents. He didn't live under a necessarily rich family, so to speak, but they weren't exactly in poverty either. They could have been better- at least to the point of not having to move from time-to-time when money got tight- but they were never without a home or lacking too terribly in food.
This also meant the Nitram boy had enough to undergo a decent education. He did well enough in his schooling, progressing through everything with, at the very least, a C. No redoing grades, no expulsions, and no terribly nasty marks on his record. Unfortunately, the social aspect didn't blow over so well for young Tavros. He always found himself meek and lacking in confidence around other kids his age and older. This namely stemmed from his years in earlier grades where the children were too rough for him and/or shoved him aside, resulting in him staying to himself.
Otherwise, his life went with only minor hitches, such as moving from place-to-place, apartment-to-apartment to keep within budget and keep themselves under a roof. His health remained quite well off for the years with only small issues busting through on occasion (the worst being having tonsils removed). Everything seemed so perfectly, perfectly fine.
That is, until he and his family got caught in a nasty car crash just outside of Rochester. The collision was rear-ended, resulting his parents turning up fine. However, nothing nearly as bright could be said for Tavros. After being practically pried out of the car and rushed to the hospital, his legs were discovered to be horribly mangled. The area just below the knee for each leg had the worst prognosis of the rest of him: amputation. This resulted in only his kneecap upward remaining on his body, thus rendering him to only a wheelchair for transportation.
It was honestly the worst moment in Tavros's life, and for a time, he was in a nasty rut. People looked at him different because of his disability, moving around was harder, and in general, life was harder. Eventually, however, he accustomed, and he regained what little bit of his confidence he had back, as well as some more optimism about his life. He may have lost his legs, but it seriously could have been worse. He could have died in that crash, but he didn't.
He still had reason to go on after living through that. He went through a life-or-death situation and survived. That kept him fighting on. There must have been some reason why he didn't die then, he felt. As if life had a plan for him in the future.
Around the age of 20, he found even more reason to push forward. On a breezy October day, he found himself late for school. Horribly late. As a guy usually focused on getting his work done right, he began to worry as he hurriedly wheeled to the school just walking distance from his apartment in Brooklyn.
On the way there, something- or rather, someone- compelled him to stop in his tracks. Music danced about his ears, faintly at first. It was so soft that Tavros thought he was just hearing things, but as he rolled on, the melody grew louder and louder. Turns out, he wasn't just hearing things. There sat a man, guitar in hand, strumming on the side of the street. The music was impeccable. Sure, it wasn't professional-grade, but he could tell that this guy had some talent. That music sounded very pretty.
So Tavros remained for a few minutes to listen, and yet even longer just to get to know the guy and introduce himself. The man went by the name Gamzee. Gamzee Makara.
The two hit it off immediately, and from then on, the two became good friends. Tavros had never felt so comfortable with someone in his life until that fateful day. If he hadn't been so late to his classes, he would have never met Gamzee that day, which may have even resulted in never meeting him in his entire life. Funny, that, since they lived surprisingly close to each other.
Life just has its ways of going about things, doesn't it? What an odd thing, this indescribable way called life.
What happened within the next few years would prove to be even more indescribable. Tavros, at 21 years of age, found himself a student on his second year at NYU. His major, veterinary science. This would all be normal if it wasn't for the fact that some short time after, things changed.
He no longer found himself in New York. All he could remember was pink doors, which was strange enough in itself. He couldn't even recall how he got there. He was going down a street in Brooklyn, found himself lost while heading to a store, and asked someone for directions. They gave them to him, and he went down that road, only to stop suddenly at a strange, rabbit-like creature speaking to him. Saying it can help him.
It hopped away in the exact direction he had to go. He felt compelled to go along with the little guy, and so he did, only to find himself halted in his tracks by a dead end. Said dead end held mysterious pink doors.
Before he could halt himself, the doors swung open and his wheelchair rolled forward just enough to make him fall down the abyss. He was seriously freaking out now. No one would be able to hold back a scream at this point, surely, and this included poor Tavros. Eventually, he found himself losing breath and unable to scream, slowly coming to terms that... wow. He was probably going to die.
With that, he kept his mouth and eyes shut. He was coming to terms that this was it. There was no way he could survive a fall like this, wheelchair or not. His mind reeled. He thought of his family, his friends, his university, Vriska, Gamzee...
Finally, he reached the bottom, yet by some grace, he wasn't dead. He was out of his wheelchair that had fallen nearby, toppled over, but he was alive. For that, he found himself immensely grateful, despite the fact that his heart was drumming at a good 60 MPH. That was horrible, horrible suffering, but at least he was alive.
He sucked in his breath and pulled himself together. Chill out. Breath. Okay. It's time to go.
Tavros hauled himself over with his arms to his wheelchair, and after a good while of wrestling with it to get it standing, he got back on it. He had some bruising and his entire body ached, namely his lungs, but he felt okay. What didn't seem okay, however, is that there was only a hallway in front of him. No New York, no nothing. Nothing he was familiar with, at least.
He wheeled himself down the corridor and after a good fifteen minutes of going around, he finally made it to a room. An empty room, a dead end. It didn't help that the doors behind him shut and locked either. Try as he might, he couldn't possibly yank it open. He had no way to. No keys, nothing to pry it open with, nothing. The fact that he was crippled and not exactly the strong person in the world didn't help much.
Suddenly, a table appeared. A cellphone and a laptop sat there. Oh god, awesome. Tavros could feel a sense of relief wash over him. He could just contact Gamzee, or at worst, Vriska, and see if they could help him get home. His chances with Gamzee were honestly better, though, because... well, Vriska is Vriska.
However, he had to enter his name first. That didn't seem to be a problem. He did so, and something about a username and password came up. Okay. No problem. Once he gains that, he can access the laptop to get home, right? Surely he can.
His thoughts were cut off by the opening of another set of doors. He wheeled over to it and swung it open by the doorknob. As he did so, he felt a bit... strange on his chest. No need to think about that, though. It was probably just from the fall.
Once the doors opened, he found himself facing a city. It wasn't New York, however. It was somewhere completely different.
Not only that, but something else soon became apparent:
"WELCOME TO APRIGEN, OTHERWORLDER. YOU ARE NOW KNOWN AS..."
Paige. Oh, that's strange. What about his real name? What about...
...
What was his real name anyway?
Oh.
Oh god no. No no no.
This was going to be an interesting adventure.
Personality:
One's first impression of Tavros Nitram may be, "Wow, he's really some kind of a woobie." As someone gets to know this boy, their opinion may change to, "Well, okay, he's still sort of a woobie." In a manner of speaking with less derogatory, exaggerating, and generally down-putting meaning, this is somewhat true, but there is a little more to this Taurus than what meets the eye.
It can't be denied that Tavros isn't the most confident man out there. In fact, that may even be an understatement. He has a pretty low, battered self-esteem after years of not fitting in with others and being mocked, prodded at, and shoved to the side. He doesn't think he's anything that special, let alone someone important to anybody. He doesn't see much potential in himself necessarily, so in the end, he always feels that he needs to try harder and better himself instead of screwing up.
However, he doesn't just sit and wallow in self-pity all the time without putting effort. He really does try to improve himself socially, physically, mentally, emotionally, and well, generally every single aspect. Despite this, his attempts usually fall pretty flat, winding up in him either looking ridiculous, wimpy, unintelligent, or something or another. It can put him down sometimes and make him feel 'sad and alone', but in the end, he doesn't really give up on trying to get better. He doesn't think he's exactly hopeless, even though he certainly doesn't think of himself highly.
The biggest aspect he wishes to improve is how he handles social situations. He isn't severely anxious to the point of running, hiding, or breaking down, but he does get a little uneasy with people. He can come across as nervous, awkward, or just plain unsure about himself, his words, and his actions. Despite this, he will face people and talk to them. He wants to be brave and confident with others, so he isn't willing to run and hide from socialization. It doesn't stop him from coming across as pretty hesitant and reluctant, though, as he fumbles and tries to think of the right things to say or do with some pauses and fidgeting.
At times, Tavros can even have some small bursts of self-esteem, usually when he's longing hard to achieve something important. If something either seems like a really good idea at the time, if it's his only chance to do it, or if he feels it's something within his reach, he may just do it. Later on, he may either feel proud of himself for it or regret it, especially if those moments of confidence wind up turning the tables on him. Bless his poor little heart. He tries his damndest.
Around friends, he may also find himself a little less anxious. A good example would be Gamzee Makara himself. Even before that little crush began to bubble up in Tavros's heart, he felt more at ease with him and became more open with him. With friends, he is able to reach more levels of communication than with any others. He still does feel uneasy at times and will still come across that way, but it may be less apparent and strong. Around his bros, he actually feels pretty darn okay.
When it comes to people he's more unsure about than the usual, however, the more awkward and reluctant Tavros will resurface. In fact, he may even seem a little worse around said people (i.e. people like Vriska). Even then, he rarely backs down with these kind of people and even allows them to pick around with him. Regardless, it doesn't mean he'll conform to their every whim (such as how he denies Vriska an apology for 'being a cripple' in canon due to him thinking it's nonsensical). It's more of the fact that he can't bring himself to be nasty or rude to people by ignoring them or some such. Along with that, he'd feel pretty unaccomplished for not sticking it out bravely, but instead, just running away.
Overall, Tavros has a gentle, friendly nature with others, even to the point that he doesn't think he has the ability to hate or dislike anyone. He isn't exactly good at advising or helping others with their problems, but with other people, he will definitely feel concern and worry instead of being judgmental or venomous over their problems. He likes to have fun, go out with friends, and do a lot of things that any socially successful person would, despite his pressing self-confidence problems. He loves people through and through, and he couldn't see himself being any other way.
He is also very loving and caring about animals, which explains his goal to be in the veterinary or animal shelter professions one day (he hasn't quite decided which yet). He enjoys seeing animals of all shapes and sizes, fur or scales or fins. He even likes to sit down and talk to these animals like he would with people, if not even better than he can with people. Animals unconditionally love, after all, and they can't judge people for what they say or anything. That helps him connect with animals much easier.
Overall, Tavros loves fantasy and still has a glimmer of belief in some aspects of it. In the end, he knows that the fairy tale characters he loves aren't real (including Peter Pan, his favorite), but a part of him still holds onto the boy he was as a child, waiting for Peter Pan to fly into his window and take him away on an adventure. Because of his love for that tale in specific, stories with fairies and flight usually captivate him the most.
Along with that, however, Tavros does have plenty of other interests, including putzing around on the internet, playing video games (especially his favorite, Fiduspawn III: Horsaroni Version for the Game Boy Advance), and casually collecting memorabilia of his favorite series. He dislikes very few things and prefers to enjoy the brighter aspects of his life instead of getting too down on himself. (This sometimes works and sometimes... doesn't.) Despite being so negative on himself, he tries to shove through it and still enjoy life as much as he can.
Abilities:
Tavros isn't supernatural in the slightest in this incarnation of him! However, he does have one important ability retained from Homestuck canon: he is very, very good with animals. He can't commune with them perfectly like Homestuck's canon, of course, but he is very knowledgeable and friendly when it comes to them. He enjoys any kind of animal, from aardvarks to zebras. He always did feel a little more apprehensive around spiders, though...
Miscellaneous:
This Tavros has a quirk just like his troll quirk in Homestuck's actual canon. He speaks in a LITTLE BIT OF, uHH, a AWKWARDLY-SPOKEN MANNER, by speaking in reverse caps (yes, he doesn't capitalize the first letter after each comma), using commas in place of punctuation, and using said punctuation a little excessively. 'Uh's and 'um's are not uncommon in his speech either, and his font is courier with an orange-ish color. He also adds 'horns' to his smilies because bulls are his favorite animals! }:)
Why does he type like this, you ask? Well, he just thinks that fits him for some reason.
I'll make a permission post for this if he's accepted, especially since I know the quirk isn't everyone's cup of tea.
Another important note is that his Aprigen alias will be 'Paige'. HAHA GET IT LIKE... PAGE OF BREATH. LIKE IN CANON!HOMESTUCK. HA...
Faction: Veja [Leviathan]
Occupation: Anything like a little part-time job that doesn't require heavy-lifting would be swell. ♥ He has prosthetics, so he isn't confined to a wheelchair. He rarely likes to wear them, but for a job, he'll do what he has to do.
Weapon/Esper: Sword / Gnome
Sample:
[[ First and foremost, if these samples aren't enough, I also have a few threads with him here. Not sure how well these would fall to either first person or third person as they're action threads, but there you go! They should at least display how my voice for him is to some point. |D ]]
First Person:
wELL, i THINK THIS IS,
a REALLY URGENT PREDICAMENT,
tHAT i'M FACING RIGHT NOW,
tHOUGH I REALIZED IT, aBOUT A FEW HOURS AGO,
iF i'M REMEMBERING RIGHT,
wHICH, i THINK i AM,
sORT OF,
i DON'T REMEMBER MY NAME,
tHE ONE i SHOULD BE CALLED, i MEAN,
tHAT ISN'T THIS ONE i WAS GIVEN,
(uHH, iT'S PAIGE, iF THAT IS OF IMPORTANCE,
wHICH, iT MIGHT BE,
sO i STATED IT, jUST IN CASE,)
aND i'M NOT FROM HERE,
wHEREVER HERE IS,
sO, i'D LIKE TO GO HOME,
bUT NOT WITHOUT, fIXING THIS STRANGE NAME PROBLEM,
iT'S GETTING ME KIND OF, fRUSTRATED ACTUALLY,
oR NO, i'M ALREADY FRUSTRATED,
jUST NOT MAD BECAUSE THAT MIGHT, bE AN OVERREACTION TO THE ISSUE,
tO A FAULT,
}:(
sO, yEAH,
i SUPPOSE WHAT i'M MEANING, tO GET AT RIGHT NOW,
iS THAT ANY HELP WOULD BE REALLY APPRECIATED,
sO, uHH,
i LOOK FORWARD TO ANY REPLIES,
iF ANY,
}:)
Third Person:
Tavros wasn't sure if he could even believe his eyes.
He knew his chest felt a bit strange upon entering the doors from before, but he didn't honestly think much of it. It could have been from the fall, or he was just plain nervous from the entire situation at hand. Either seemed likely, especially for someone like him. He wasn't a complete weakling, but he was probably a little more frail than those with their legs who were able to work out easier. Not only that, but when it came to him, nervousness was pretty common.
If only he knew who 'he' really was, but that's besides the point.
The warmness from his chest, a center-point of the situation, came from this marking he suddenly had plastered on him. It was directly in the center of both pectorals, emblazoned in green and brown. He had no idea where it came from, no idea why it was there. It was just... there.
"Uh," came out of his mouth first, followed by, "What's... this supposed to be?"
He trailed a finger over it, and then decided to rub it. He pursed his lips and furrowed his brows, determined to get the brand off of his chest, but nothing was happening. "Um... wow. It's really stuck on there," muttered Tavros as he noticed that it wasn't even smudging. "I guess it'll come off with water? I don't, uh, see why it wouldn't. Though I dunno what the material is."
He frowned and tilted his head. Could this be like tattoo ink? Hopefully not, but especially after meeting Gamzee, he knew that tattoo ink was permanent. Very permanent. He wasn't sure about the idea of having this strange brand on his chest, especially due to the fact that he didn't know what it signified.
Well, maybe he could deal with it. He'd just try to wash it off at every opportune moment he could. Besides, who looks at his chest anyway? Even when in water to swim, something he can't even do in itself anymore, he preferred to wear a shirt. Showing his chest made him feel just a little more self-conscious than he already was.
He nodded and reached for his shirt. He'd just leave it at that.
Besides, he had more pressing problems to turn his attention to.
Questions: None, so far. :3 (Or I guess it's more like, }:3)
Player Journal: skorupion
Are You Older Than 18?: Yes, 19.
Other Characters: N/A
Character Name: Tavros Nitram
Canon: Homestuck [AU]
How does the AU differ from OU canon?: The AU this guy is from, 4chords, is a completely different setting from Homestuck. In Homestuck, Tavros is a troll from Alternia as opposed to a human being, and partakes in the game SGRUB (alternatively SBURB for the human characters). The events that lead on are a bit complicated and long-winded, but the MSPA Wiki has everything one needs to know.
tl;dr Homestuck is about aliens and a weird game with some fortunate and unfortunate (mostly the latter) series of events.
In this 4chords AU, however, all of the characters live in New York and live out surprisingly average lives as compared to their canon alternatives. However, they bear basically very similar personalities and interests, if not completely the same. In the case of Tavros, he is entirely the same! He even names his self-esteem Rufio (confirmed by a translation of a ramble in the back of a comic panel by 4chords's creator, Emily) and such.
For even more reference, have canon!Tavros's wiki page.
Age: 21
Point Taken: Just a day before his confession to Gamzee.
Background:
Tavros Nitram grew up a young, relatively healthy, yet socially awkward boy in the state of New York, the only child of two well-off parents. He didn't live under a necessarily rich family, so to speak, but they weren't exactly in poverty either. They could have been better- at least to the point of not having to move from time-to-time when money got tight- but they were never without a home or lacking too terribly in food.
This also meant the Nitram boy had enough to undergo a decent education. He did well enough in his schooling, progressing through everything with, at the very least, a C. No redoing grades, no expulsions, and no terribly nasty marks on his record. Unfortunately, the social aspect didn't blow over so well for young Tavros. He always found himself meek and lacking in confidence around other kids his age and older. This namely stemmed from his years in earlier grades where the children were too rough for him and/or shoved him aside, resulting in him staying to himself.
Otherwise, his life went with only minor hitches, such as moving from place-to-place, apartment-to-apartment to keep within budget and keep themselves under a roof. His health remained quite well off for the years with only small issues busting through on occasion (the worst being having tonsils removed). Everything seemed so perfectly, perfectly fine.
That is, until he and his family got caught in a nasty car crash just outside of Rochester. The collision was rear-ended, resulting his parents turning up fine. However, nothing nearly as bright could be said for Tavros. After being practically pried out of the car and rushed to the hospital, his legs were discovered to be horribly mangled. The area just below the knee for each leg had the worst prognosis of the rest of him: amputation. This resulted in only his kneecap upward remaining on his body, thus rendering him to only a wheelchair for transportation.
It was honestly the worst moment in Tavros's life, and for a time, he was in a nasty rut. People looked at him different because of his disability, moving around was harder, and in general, life was harder. Eventually, however, he accustomed, and he regained what little bit of his confidence he had back, as well as some more optimism about his life. He may have lost his legs, but it seriously could have been worse. He could have died in that crash, but he didn't.
He still had reason to go on after living through that. He went through a life-or-death situation and survived. That kept him fighting on. There must have been some reason why he didn't die then, he felt. As if life had a plan for him in the future.
Around the age of 20, he found even more reason to push forward. On a breezy October day, he found himself late for school. Horribly late. As a guy usually focused on getting his work done right, he began to worry as he hurriedly wheeled to the school just walking distance from his apartment in Brooklyn.
On the way there, something- or rather, someone- compelled him to stop in his tracks. Music danced about his ears, faintly at first. It was so soft that Tavros thought he was just hearing things, but as he rolled on, the melody grew louder and louder. Turns out, he wasn't just hearing things. There sat a man, guitar in hand, strumming on the side of the street. The music was impeccable. Sure, it wasn't professional-grade, but he could tell that this guy had some talent. That music sounded very pretty.
So Tavros remained for a few minutes to listen, and yet even longer just to get to know the guy and introduce himself. The man went by the name Gamzee. Gamzee Makara.
The two hit it off immediately, and from then on, the two became good friends. Tavros had never felt so comfortable with someone in his life until that fateful day. If he hadn't been so late to his classes, he would have never met Gamzee that day, which may have even resulted in never meeting him in his entire life. Funny, that, since they lived surprisingly close to each other.
Life just has its ways of going about things, doesn't it? What an odd thing, this indescribable way called life.
What happened within the next few years would prove to be even more indescribable. Tavros, at 21 years of age, found himself a student on his second year at NYU. His major, veterinary science. This would all be normal if it wasn't for the fact that some short time after, things changed.
He no longer found himself in New York. All he could remember was pink doors, which was strange enough in itself. He couldn't even recall how he got there. He was going down a street in Brooklyn, found himself lost while heading to a store, and asked someone for directions. They gave them to him, and he went down that road, only to stop suddenly at a strange, rabbit-like creature speaking to him. Saying it can help him.
It hopped away in the exact direction he had to go. He felt compelled to go along with the little guy, and so he did, only to find himself halted in his tracks by a dead end. Said dead end held mysterious pink doors.
Before he could halt himself, the doors swung open and his wheelchair rolled forward just enough to make him fall down the abyss. He was seriously freaking out now. No one would be able to hold back a scream at this point, surely, and this included poor Tavros. Eventually, he found himself losing breath and unable to scream, slowly coming to terms that... wow. He was probably going to die.
With that, he kept his mouth and eyes shut. He was coming to terms that this was it. There was no way he could survive a fall like this, wheelchair or not. His mind reeled. He thought of his family, his friends, his university, Vriska, Gamzee...
Finally, he reached the bottom, yet by some grace, he wasn't dead. He was out of his wheelchair that had fallen nearby, toppled over, but he was alive. For that, he found himself immensely grateful, despite the fact that his heart was drumming at a good 60 MPH. That was horrible, horrible suffering, but at least he was alive.
He sucked in his breath and pulled himself together. Chill out. Breath. Okay. It's time to go.
Tavros hauled himself over with his arms to his wheelchair, and after a good while of wrestling with it to get it standing, he got back on it. He had some bruising and his entire body ached, namely his lungs, but he felt okay. What didn't seem okay, however, is that there was only a hallway in front of him. No New York, no nothing. Nothing he was familiar with, at least.
He wheeled himself down the corridor and after a good fifteen minutes of going around, he finally made it to a room. An empty room, a dead end. It didn't help that the doors behind him shut and locked either. Try as he might, he couldn't possibly yank it open. He had no way to. No keys, nothing to pry it open with, nothing. The fact that he was crippled and not exactly the strong person in the world didn't help much.
Suddenly, a table appeared. A cellphone and a laptop sat there. Oh god, awesome. Tavros could feel a sense of relief wash over him. He could just contact Gamzee, or at worst, Vriska, and see if they could help him get home. His chances with Gamzee were honestly better, though, because... well, Vriska is Vriska.
However, he had to enter his name first. That didn't seem to be a problem. He did so, and something about a username and password came up. Okay. No problem. Once he gains that, he can access the laptop to get home, right? Surely he can.
His thoughts were cut off by the opening of another set of doors. He wheeled over to it and swung it open by the doorknob. As he did so, he felt a bit... strange on his chest. No need to think about that, though. It was probably just from the fall.
Once the doors opened, he found himself facing a city. It wasn't New York, however. It was somewhere completely different.
Not only that, but something else soon became apparent:
"WELCOME TO APRIGEN, OTHERWORLDER. YOU ARE NOW KNOWN AS..."
Paige. Oh, that's strange. What about his real name? What about...
...
What was his real name anyway?
Oh.
Oh god no. No no no.
This was going to be an interesting adventure.
Personality:
One's first impression of Tavros Nitram may be, "Wow, he's really some kind of a woobie." As someone gets to know this boy, their opinion may change to, "Well, okay, he's still sort of a woobie." In a manner of speaking with less derogatory, exaggerating, and generally down-putting meaning, this is somewhat true, but there is a little more to this Taurus than what meets the eye.
It can't be denied that Tavros isn't the most confident man out there. In fact, that may even be an understatement. He has a pretty low, battered self-esteem after years of not fitting in with others and being mocked, prodded at, and shoved to the side. He doesn't think he's anything that special, let alone someone important to anybody. He doesn't see much potential in himself necessarily, so in the end, he always feels that he needs to try harder and better himself instead of screwing up.
However, he doesn't just sit and wallow in self-pity all the time without putting effort. He really does try to improve himself socially, physically, mentally, emotionally, and well, generally every single aspect. Despite this, his attempts usually fall pretty flat, winding up in him either looking ridiculous, wimpy, unintelligent, or something or another. It can put him down sometimes and make him feel 'sad and alone', but in the end, he doesn't really give up on trying to get better. He doesn't think he's exactly hopeless, even though he certainly doesn't think of himself highly.
The biggest aspect he wishes to improve is how he handles social situations. He isn't severely anxious to the point of running, hiding, or breaking down, but he does get a little uneasy with people. He can come across as nervous, awkward, or just plain unsure about himself, his words, and his actions. Despite this, he will face people and talk to them. He wants to be brave and confident with others, so he isn't willing to run and hide from socialization. It doesn't stop him from coming across as pretty hesitant and reluctant, though, as he fumbles and tries to think of the right things to say or do with some pauses and fidgeting.
At times, Tavros can even have some small bursts of self-esteem, usually when he's longing hard to achieve something important. If something either seems like a really good idea at the time, if it's his only chance to do it, or if he feels it's something within his reach, he may just do it. Later on, he may either feel proud of himself for it or regret it, especially if those moments of confidence wind up turning the tables on him. Bless his poor little heart. He tries his damndest.
Around friends, he may also find himself a little less anxious. A good example would be Gamzee Makara himself. Even before that little crush began to bubble up in Tavros's heart, he felt more at ease with him and became more open with him. With friends, he is able to reach more levels of communication than with any others. He still does feel uneasy at times and will still come across that way, but it may be less apparent and strong. Around his bros, he actually feels pretty darn okay.
When it comes to people he's more unsure about than the usual, however, the more awkward and reluctant Tavros will resurface. In fact, he may even seem a little worse around said people (i.e. people like Vriska). Even then, he rarely backs down with these kind of people and even allows them to pick around with him. Regardless, it doesn't mean he'll conform to their every whim (such as how he denies Vriska an apology for 'being a cripple' in canon due to him thinking it's nonsensical). It's more of the fact that he can't bring himself to be nasty or rude to people by ignoring them or some such. Along with that, he'd feel pretty unaccomplished for not sticking it out bravely, but instead, just running away.
Overall, Tavros has a gentle, friendly nature with others, even to the point that he doesn't think he has the ability to hate or dislike anyone. He isn't exactly good at advising or helping others with their problems, but with other people, he will definitely feel concern and worry instead of being judgmental or venomous over their problems. He likes to have fun, go out with friends, and do a lot of things that any socially successful person would, despite his pressing self-confidence problems. He loves people through and through, and he couldn't see himself being any other way.
He is also very loving and caring about animals, which explains his goal to be in the veterinary or animal shelter professions one day (he hasn't quite decided which yet). He enjoys seeing animals of all shapes and sizes, fur or scales or fins. He even likes to sit down and talk to these animals like he would with people, if not even better than he can with people. Animals unconditionally love, after all, and they can't judge people for what they say or anything. That helps him connect with animals much easier.
Overall, Tavros loves fantasy and still has a glimmer of belief in some aspects of it. In the end, he knows that the fairy tale characters he loves aren't real (including Peter Pan, his favorite), but a part of him still holds onto the boy he was as a child, waiting for Peter Pan to fly into his window and take him away on an adventure. Because of his love for that tale in specific, stories with fairies and flight usually captivate him the most.
Along with that, however, Tavros does have plenty of other interests, including putzing around on the internet, playing video games (especially his favorite, Fiduspawn III: Horsaroni Version for the Game Boy Advance), and casually collecting memorabilia of his favorite series. He dislikes very few things and prefers to enjoy the brighter aspects of his life instead of getting too down on himself. (This sometimes works and sometimes... doesn't.) Despite being so negative on himself, he tries to shove through it and still enjoy life as much as he can.
Abilities:
Tavros isn't supernatural in the slightest in this incarnation of him! However, he does have one important ability retained from Homestuck canon: he is very, very good with animals. He can't commune with them perfectly like Homestuck's canon, of course, but he is very knowledgeable and friendly when it comes to them. He enjoys any kind of animal, from aardvarks to zebras. He always did feel a little more apprehensive around spiders, though...
Miscellaneous:
This Tavros has a quirk just like his troll quirk in Homestuck's actual canon. He speaks in a LITTLE BIT OF, uHH, a AWKWARDLY-SPOKEN MANNER, by speaking in reverse caps (yes, he doesn't capitalize the first letter after each comma), using commas in place of punctuation, and using said punctuation a little excessively. 'Uh's and 'um's are not uncommon in his speech either, and his font is courier with an orange-ish color. He also adds 'horns' to his smilies because bulls are his favorite animals! }:)
Why does he type like this, you ask? Well, he just thinks that fits him for some reason.
I'll make a permission post for this if he's accepted, especially since I know the quirk isn't everyone's cup of tea.
Another important note is that his Aprigen alias will be 'Paige'. HAHA GET IT LIKE... PAGE OF BREATH. LIKE IN CANON!HOMESTUCK. HA...
Faction: Veja [Leviathan]
Occupation: Anything like a little part-time job that doesn't require heavy-lifting would be swell. ♥ He has prosthetics, so he isn't confined to a wheelchair. He rarely likes to wear them, but for a job, he'll do what he has to do.
Weapon/Esper: Sword / Gnome
Sample:
[[ First and foremost, if these samples aren't enough, I also have a few threads with him here. Not sure how well these would fall to either first person or third person as they're action threads, but there you go! They should at least display how my voice for him is to some point. |D ]]
First Person:
wELL, i THINK THIS IS,
a REALLY URGENT PREDICAMENT,
tHAT i'M FACING RIGHT NOW,
tHOUGH I REALIZED IT, aBOUT A FEW HOURS AGO,
iF i'M REMEMBERING RIGHT,
wHICH, i THINK i AM,
sORT OF,
i DON'T REMEMBER MY NAME,
tHE ONE i SHOULD BE CALLED, i MEAN,
tHAT ISN'T THIS ONE i WAS GIVEN,
(uHH, iT'S PAIGE, iF THAT IS OF IMPORTANCE,
wHICH, iT MIGHT BE,
sO i STATED IT, jUST IN CASE,)
aND i'M NOT FROM HERE,
wHEREVER HERE IS,
sO, i'D LIKE TO GO HOME,
bUT NOT WITHOUT, fIXING THIS STRANGE NAME PROBLEM,
iT'S GETTING ME KIND OF, fRUSTRATED ACTUALLY,
oR NO, i'M ALREADY FRUSTRATED,
jUST NOT MAD BECAUSE THAT MIGHT, bE AN OVERREACTION TO THE ISSUE,
tO A FAULT,
}:(
sO, yEAH,
i SUPPOSE WHAT i'M MEANING, tO GET AT RIGHT NOW,
iS THAT ANY HELP WOULD BE REALLY APPRECIATED,
sO, uHH,
i LOOK FORWARD TO ANY REPLIES,
iF ANY,
}:)
Third Person:
Tavros wasn't sure if he could even believe his eyes.
He knew his chest felt a bit strange upon entering the doors from before, but he didn't honestly think much of it. It could have been from the fall, or he was just plain nervous from the entire situation at hand. Either seemed likely, especially for someone like him. He wasn't a complete weakling, but he was probably a little more frail than those with their legs who were able to work out easier. Not only that, but when it came to him, nervousness was pretty common.
If only he knew who 'he' really was, but that's besides the point.
The warmness from his chest, a center-point of the situation, came from this marking he suddenly had plastered on him. It was directly in the center of both pectorals, emblazoned in green and brown. He had no idea where it came from, no idea why it was there. It was just... there.
"Uh," came out of his mouth first, followed by, "What's... this supposed to be?"
He trailed a finger over it, and then decided to rub it. He pursed his lips and furrowed his brows, determined to get the brand off of his chest, but nothing was happening. "Um... wow. It's really stuck on there," muttered Tavros as he noticed that it wasn't even smudging. "I guess it'll come off with water? I don't, uh, see why it wouldn't. Though I dunno what the material is."
He frowned and tilted his head. Could this be like tattoo ink? Hopefully not, but especially after meeting Gamzee, he knew that tattoo ink was permanent. Very permanent. He wasn't sure about the idea of having this strange brand on his chest, especially due to the fact that he didn't know what it signified.
Well, maybe he could deal with it. He'd just try to wash it off at every opportune moment he could. Besides, who looks at his chest anyway? Even when in water to swim, something he can't even do in itself anymore, he preferred to wear a shirt. Showing his chest made him feel just a little more self-conscious than he already was.
He nodded and reached for his shirt. He'd just leave it at that.
Besides, he had more pressing problems to turn his attention to.
Questions: None, so far. :3 (Or I guess it's more like, }:3)