FIC: KHR! - *Heroes not Included - Part II ~ Chapter 1

Jun 16, 2011 17:08

Title: *Heroes not Included
Part II: Abort, Retry, Fail

Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Pairing: 1859 (established), 8059 (unrequited)
Genre: Humour, case fic, AU
Rating: PG-13 (applies to all chapters unless otherwise stated)
Word count: overall ~ 28,650 | Chapter 1: ~ 2,270

Chapters (click to jump to): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Jump to Part I - No Replacements, No Refunds

Master post

Disclaimer: Amano Akira owns the characters and the series. For entertainment purposes only; no money made.
Beta: Grammar and punctuation wizard, lab rat: kentucka. General character accuracy, story flow, spotting of plot holes: doomcake, rodicks, lindenmae. Remaining mistakes are mine alone.

Summary: A seemingly clear-cut case turns into Gokudera's worst nightmare when he receives mysterious threats, ends up on the wrong side of a sword, involuntarily dabbles in genealogy, and finds out that he may be a liar but not a cheat.

Warnings: Gokudera's mouth, as per usual. Some violence, m/m relationships (although not explicit). Overabundance of plot. Can be read as stand-alone but some jokes may seem a bit BWZUH? without part I. But if you're willing to accept some things as given you should be fine though.

A/N: A massive THANK YOU to all the lovely beta ladies who helped me with this. You guys rock! ♥ Apologies to anyone who has been waiting for part II to go up. I honestly didn't think it would take that long to finish. Hopefully, it was worth the wait. *crosses fingers* TBC in part III.

The entire series is inspired by one of the most amazing TV shows on this planet: White Collar. More in spirit than in actual plot, perhaps, but either way, you should be watching it. ;)

~*~*~

~ Part II ~

Abort, Retry, Fail



It was all Peter's fault. Peter McSomethingorother because Gokudera didn't give a flying fuck what the guy's name was.

He was nursing his second coffee while pretending not to notice how the hands on the clock over the door were ticking towards 7am. He tried not to count FBI agents bustling in and out of the office out of fear of falling asleep. Sheep in black suits.

And there came the sheepherder. Or the wolf - it was sometimes hard to distinguish.

"Stop looking like that and make yourself useful." Hibari snatched the paper cup from Gokudera's hands with ostentation.

"Hey!" Gokudera fumbled for the cup but Hibari put it way out of reach, "I was drinking that, asshole!"

"Drink it later," the agent said dryly.

"It's already godawful as it is," Gokudera scoffed, "it's gonna be nothing but devil's piss when it's cold."

Hibari looked at him as if there had never been a problem that had less been his.

Gokudera rolled his eyes and sighed. "Alright. I'm too fucking tired to argue with you. What exactly am I supposed to make myself useful at?"

Naturally, Hibari ignored his sidenote on sleep deprivation. It was easy enough for him. The man was irritatingly awake almost 24/7. It hardly mattered how much he slept or where or when. But when he did, Gokudera had found out, Hibari was like a stone with a heartbeat - a stone with surprisingly swift reflexes, which was another thing Gokudera had learned the hard way.

"At 3am this morning the log files show that the source code was copied onto a portable device," Hibari explained. "You're here because I'm here. Now you might as well find out why somebody would steal the source code of a video game."

"Since when does the FBI investigate theft of virtual property?" Gokudera stifled a yawn and promptly received a reprimanding glance from Hibari. He didn't care overly much. All he cared about was that he was not currently in bed sleeping.

"Since the owner of this company is a close friend of the mayor's son." There was a faint suggestion of disgust in Hibari's tone and it made Gokudera smile a little. He was getting better at spotting that. Incidentally, he was also getting better at determining what Hibari liked and what he didn't. Gokudera had a mental list. Admittedly, the 'Does not like' side was significantly overweight but at least everything in there was a sure bet. He still wasn't quite sure where to put his own name though.

He'd tentatively filed it under 'Like (on good days)'.

"And don't you have special guys for that?" Gokudera patted his pockets in search for his cigarettes. If he couldn't have a decent coffee he wanted to at least have a smoke while thinking. "Why are wehere?"

"They asked for the best."

Gokudera put the cigarette between his lips but didn't light it. Instead he turned to look at Hibari. "Does the word 'hubris' mean anything to you?"

"Not if it doesn't have anything to do with this case." Hibari still wasn't showing even the slightest trace of amusement. "And don't smoke in here."

Normally, Gokudera should have known better than to disregard Hibari's warning but it was freaking 7am in the morning, he hadn't nearly had enough coffee, less than three hours of sleep and he was cranky enough to risk a fullblown fight. He resolutely lit his cigarette and took a long, satisfying drag from it.

"Arrest me then." Gokudera smirked and blew a cloud of smoke into Hibari's face. Hibari waved it away - with a tonfa.

---

"'t wa'n't a business rival." Gokudera noted and prodded the thick balls of cotton currently stuffed up his bleeding nose. At least he had another cup of coffee now.

"Come again?" The executive manager of Lynx Entertainment Ltd., one Peter McFarlane, blinked at Gokudera.

"He said it wasn't a business rival of yours," Hibari repeated whilst flipping through some files on the manager's desk.

"What makes you think that?" Peter inquired, trying to shuffle papers away from Hibari. He was fighting a losing battle.

Gokudera hesitantly pulled out the cotton and grimaced before tossing it in the trash can. "Come on, a rival company would have just hacked your servers."

"Excuse me? How can you-"

Gokudera cut Peter off before he could start elaborating on their oh-so-supreme firewall. "First of all, if you're just looking for the source code why smash up half the office? And secondly, any decent hacker would have known that you've got a log running in the background."

Peter obviously sought for something to say, judging by the upset look on his face but he eventually settled for: "In case, emphasis on in case, you're right, what does that leave us with?"

Gokudera shrugged. "With somebody trying to conceal that they were looking for more than just your source code. And doing a shitty job of it."

"We will be needing to take a look at your programming," Hibari announced.

"I'm afraid that's not possible," Peter said determinedly, attempting to stare Hibari down. Gokudera would have liked to tell him that it was useless but he figured Peter had better learn from his own mistakes.

Hibari straightened up to his full height. For someone with Japanese origins it was quite impressive. Peter seemed to think so too.

"We have to know what the thieves were so interested in." Hibari took a step towards the manager, who tried to inconspicuously bring the entire length of the desk between them. "If we are lacking important information we won't be able to uncover who took your source code."

"You can't threaten me like that!" Peter almost squeaked, sending a pleading glance in Gokudera's direction. But Gokudera had been in the same situation often enough to know that there were only two ways out of it - one was agreeing to everything Hibari demanded. The other was death. Gokudera had found a third one but he still wasn't quite sure how he was doing it.

"I am merely illuminating the consequences of your wanting cooperation." Hibari had a special technique for people he - technically - was not allowed to hit. He put one hand on the desk and leaned forward a little so that they were on eye-level. The other hand he usually left hanging loosely by his side, with only the glimpse of polished metal flashing from underneath his cuffs.

It was like sitting in a cave during an earthquake while staring at the stalactites hanging overhead which could easily split you in half should they come crashing down. Surrender was the thin yellow-ish safety line dangling from the opening impossibly far up.

Peter's eyes darted from Hibari to Gokudera and back, as if begging Gokudera to call back his hellhound. Little did the man know that Hibari very rarely responded to commands and if he did it was most likely to shove them back into your mouth with the help of steel.

"Look," Gokudera stepped forward in a delusional attempt at saving the situation, "we don't want to steal your code. That's already been done anyway-"

"How dare you-"

"Shut it, man, I'm trying to throw you a lifeline here. Let me look through your code. For God's sake, have one of your guys keep an eye on me, if that makes you feel better." Gokudera pointed at a few desks that seemed to have survived the thieves' smash attack. "We can do it here too, if you like."

Peter stared at him for a long moment, probably weighing his options. Then he took one last look at Hibari and gave in.

"Okay," he sighed, "I'll have Ted give you a hand."

---

There was always a guy called 'Ted'. Gokudera suspected that it was somehow intrinsic to the survival of these companies - even if it was just the janitor.

Said 'Ted' was currently logging onto his computer with Gokudera sitting next to him and Hibari hovering behind them like a hawk waiting for movement.

"How come I suddenly volunteered for this?" Gokudera leaned back, throwing Hibari a pissed glance over his shoulder.

"Because you are finally becoming a decent and upstanding citizen." Hibari said but the little smirk didn't escape Gokudera's attention.

"Like you?" Gokudera replied mockingly.

"Don't overestimate yourself." The tip of Hibari's shoe tapped against the anklet that was beeping proof of Gokudera's shaky relationship with 'decent and upstanding'. "You've got a long way to go."

"Good," Gokudera grinned, "I couldn't live with myself if I was such a douchebag."

---

"Is he even allowed to do that?" Ted gaped at Gokudera, who was pressing a plastic bag full of ice cubes against the back of his head.

"No," Gokudera grumbled and carefully rubbed the cold bag against the swelling bump, "but try telling him that."

Ted glanced over at the agent who was busy ordering his minions around. "I see your point."

Gokudera refrained from informing Ted about the fact that Hibari used to hit a lot harder before they started having sex. But he figured that this was a conversation he didn't want to have - least of all with someone called 'Ted'.

"Okay, can we move on?" Gokudera gestured at the screen, "I've got places to be, people to see, you know."

"Really?" Ted opened a few files but gave him a look that wanted to say 'You're a convict. Where the hell would you need to go?'.

"Yes. Really." Gokudera hissed, squeezing the ice bag until cold water was trickling down his sleeve. "Shit."

He dumped the leaking bag in Ted's trash can. "Are we done talking about me? Can we work on the code now?"

"Sure." Ted gave a shrug and started clicking through innumerable lines of programming. Gokudera's morning was just getting better and better.

---

"Wait!" Gokudera gestured wildly. "Scroll back."

Ted did as he was told.

"There," Gokudera swatted Ted's hand away from the keyboard and peered at the screen, "I know that algorithm."

"You do?" Ted's eyebrows disappeared underneath his long bangs.

"Stop asking stupid questions." Gokudera stood up and scanned the room for Hibari. He found him standing by the door, quietly conversing with Kusakabe.

"Hey, asshole," Gokudera yelled with a shiteating grin, "I think I've got something here."

"Should you really be calling him 'asshole'?" Ted whispered as they waited for the agent to make his way back to them.

"No," Gokudera flopped down on the swivel chair, "but he shouldn't be hitting me either. Tit for tat."

"He could get you arr- Watch out!" Ted ducked in panic but Gokudera only smirked and whirled the chair around so that Hibari's tonfa-enforced swing ended up grazing the backrest instead. Nobody but Gokudera noticed the slight flinch when Hibari's knuckles painfully connected with the hard plastic.

"He's already arrested me, dumbass." Gokudera's eyes didn't leave Hibari's despite actually talking to the rather terrified Ted. Hibari's glare either said 'I will kick your ass to the moon and back for that' or 'Sex on my desk later'. He couldn't be sure, sometimes they were one and the same.

"You said you found something?" Hibari said but he was grinding his teeth. This round clearly went to Gokudera.

"I have," Gokudera gloated - only in part about his discovery, "see these lines of code?"

Hibari nodded.

"I've seen that before." Gokudera settled back and revelled in his knowledge. "It was programmed by a guy called Gilbert-"

"Hey, how do you know Gilly?" Ted's eyes went wide.

Gokudera ignored him and the odd nickname. "I'm pretty sure if you went and checked the employee list of this company you would find that he used to work here."

"True." Ted absolutely wanted to be a part of this investigation it seemed. "He quit about a year and a half ago. I remember him. Tall guy, a bit quirky. But clever."

Gokudera and Hibari shared a meaningful glance of unanimous ignorance.

"What does this have to do with this case?" Hibari inquired.

Gokudera lightly tapped the screen and smirked. "Because that piece of code right there is also used in the coding of a specific keypad security system."

Hibari gave him The Eyebrow. Gokudera had come to know it quite well. It was his way of saying that he was almost impressed.

"And you know of this how?" Hibari asked with the equivalent of a baseball bat of suspicion in his voice.

"Continuing education." Gokudera replied nonchalantly, "Just because I'm working cases for the FBI doesn't mean I don't keep up with new developments on the security sector."

Hibari seemed to consider this for a moment and then nodded. "I'll tell Kusakabe to find this man. We'll need to talk to him."

"Uh, I imagine that will be difficult," Gokudera demurred. "He's dead."

Ted and Hibari both stared at him - with varying degrees of surprise.

"What? I said I keep up with this kind of stuff," Gokudera huffed. "He died in a motorcycle accident about a month ago. Don't look at me like that! It's not like I go through the obituaries every morning or something. I only know because he was working for SecuNet who happen to produce top-notch security systems."

"That might explain why they stole the whole code instead of just going to him directly," Hibari mused.

"Who exactly are 'they'?" Ted butted in.

"No idea yet." Gokudera sighed. He got up and pointed at the dark-haired agent. "But judging by the look on his face I guess we're gonna go and find out."

~*~*~

On to --> Chapter 2

title: heroes not included, fic: katekyo hitman reborn, fic: au

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