SPN RPS fic: Sliding
So, dodger_sister bought baylorsr these DVDs of this show Sliders that she liked in high school and she was watching it and she said all the different worlds they visit are like a list of J2 AU RPS spn_j2_bigbang stories, and I said, "OMG, it's like a list of J2 AU RPS spn_j2_bigbang stories!" Then I wrote this to thank dodger_sister for keeping baylorsr occupied. No knowledge of Sliders is necessary, since it doesn't really have anything to do with that show.
Title: Sliding
Author: allamboy
Rating: PG
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Summary: “I had the craziest dream last night,” Jared told Jensen, watching him in the make-up mirror and smacking happily away at a mound of gummy bears. “It kept changing every few minutes and we were in all these different Earths, where everything was different, like the Russians were in charge, or most of the men were dead, or dinosaurs were real, or wizards ran Wal-Mart, but I was just getting little peeks at what our lives would be like in those worlds.”
TWO DAYS BEFORE THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
Jared realized that he didn’t feel cold anymore. He felt strangely peaceful, there in the bed beside Jensen, every blanket in the house piled on top of them. The howling wind outside lulled him.
“I wish I could see my mom,” he murmured, and felt Jensen’s icy lips touch his forehead.
“You will soon,” Jensen whispered, and tucked the blankets around them tighter.
Jared went to sleep.
SO AFRAID OF THE RUSSIANS
Jensen jogged down the ally and Jared emerged from a shadow. He grabbed the front of Jensen’s uniform and pulled him into a fierce kiss that got away from them, that had them fumbling at clothing and pressed up against the brick wall.
“No,” Jensen gasped, wrenching his lips away. “Jared, I don’t have time, but I have to tell you -“
Jared pressed his lips back to Jensen’s. “It can wait,” he murmured.
Jensen shook his head. “It can’t. Jared, there’s a traitor in the underground.”
Jared’s head jerked away. “Who? I have to know,” he demanded urgently.
“I couldn’t find out,” Jensen said. “I’ll keep trying, I promise.”
Frustrated, Jared pulled away. “We’re finally gaining ground,” he said. “If they shut us down now - America may never be free.”
THAT YELLOW BASTARD
Jared wiped Jensen’s face with the cool cloth, causing his friend to moan.
“It’s all right,” Jared whispered. “I’m here. You’re not alone, Jensen.”
Jensen didn’t answer, his eyes still closed. He barely looked like himself, his skin the telltale yellow of the Q-virus, his face gaunt and ravaged by the fever.
Misha came up behind Jared and put a hand on his shoulder. “You should take a break, have something to eat.”
Jared shook his head, eyes fixed on Jensen. “No,” he whispered. Misha sighed, and Jared turned to look up at him.
“Thank you, Misha,” he said. “For keeping him here.”
“I wouldn’t send him off to one of those quarantine camps any more than you would,” Misha said. “At least he can be comfortable, here with friends.”
“And if we’re next?” Jared said, turning back to run the cloth over Jensen’s forehead again.
“Then we won’t be alone,” Misha answered.
DEEP IMPACT
Jared let the dogs run ahead of him into the house, taking time to toe off his running shoes. He could hear them grunting happily and wrestling with each other.
“Settle down,” he said, coming into the kitchen, and then pulling up short.
Jensen was crouched down, rubbing Sadie and Harley’s sides with affection. Icarus ran a circle around them.
Jensen looked up and smiled wryly. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” Jared answered, sounding and feeling unsteady. “I thought you flew to Texas.”
Jensen shook his head. “You were right,” he said. “I couldn’t even get near the airport. I’ve spent the last day trying to get back to someplace I knew.” He looked back down at the dogs, who were nosing him bossily to get his full attention. “Hope it’s all right I came here,” he added. “There’s no one at my place, and ...”
Jared huffed breath out his nose. “So,” he said, “we’ve got what? A couple days?”
“Guess so,” Jensen said, still fixed on the dogs.
Jared nodded. “Uh, beer? Pizza? I don’t think anyone’s delivering, but I’ve got some frozen. And ... movie? Something stupid. Like, really idiotic.”
“Zoolander,” Jensen said, looking back up. He was smiling.
Jared smiled back. “Sounds perfect,” he said.
PRINCE OF THIEVES
Jared barged into the little cell-like room he shared with Jensen at headquarters and Jensen sat up on his elbows.
“Well?” he demanded. Jared grinned and opened the bag. It was brimming with hundreds. Jensen whistled.
“I know, right!” Jared said. “Do you know how many families are going to be able to eat off of this? Buy coats for their kids? Hell, I might splurge on a pair of boots that don’t pinch, there’s so much to go around.”
Jensen smiled fondly at him. “Good work out there,” he said, and laid back on the cot. Jared rummaged around the room, then said, “What are you thinking about, so serious over there?”
Jensen shrugged. “Ever wonder where we’re going with this? The great outlaws, robbing the rich to feed the poor. But are we really changing anything?”
Jared snorted. “Change what?” he asked. “This land hasn’t changed in 300 years.”
“It could,” Jensen said. “Imagine if we could get out from under Britain’s rule. Chose our own government. Even hold elections.”
Jared sat on his bed and tugged at the too-small boots. “Yeah,” he grunted. “Who’s gonna make that happen? You?”
Jensen smiled. “Maybe I will,” he mused.
SUMMER OF LOVE
“I’m so high right now,” Jensen said.
“You’re my best friend,” Jared said. “You’re beautiful.”
“Everyone is beautiful, man,” Misha said. “We’re all part of the same whole. We’re all connected.” He stood and stretched. “Come on. We’ll be late for the drum circle.”
MATHLETES
The E! newscaster was talking about Albert Fert’s new giant magnetoresistance discovery, and how he was dating Ada Yonath. Jared smacked angrily at his Twizzler as Melanie the hair girl gushed about how cute Fert was.
“Can you turn that off?” he asked crossly, and Melanie, flushing, did, redirecting her attention to Jared’s mop of hair.
Jared chomped and glared at himself in the mirror. “It makes me so mad,” he began.
Jensen sighed. “Here we go,” he said.
“What?” Jared demanded, waving a hand around. “No one appreciates what we do. Just once, one time, Jensen, I’d like to see an actor on E!”
“I’ve seen some of the Royal Shakespeare guys on E! before,” offered Sakura, Jensen’s hair girl.
“A TV actor,” Jared qualified.
Jensen shook his head. “If you aren’t doing this just for the craft, you’re setting yourself up for a life of disappointment, Jay,” he said. “The spotlight goes to the brains. Next you’re going to say that they should televise the Oscars like they do the Nobel Prizes.”
“Well, they should,” Jared grumbled, and consoled himself with another Twizzler. Melanie patted his shoulder. Jensen sighed.
DESPERATE HOUSEHUSBANDS
“Hey,” Jared called, knocking on the back door as he let himself in.
“Be right down!” Jensen called, so Jared helped himself to some coffee.
Jensen appeared with a freshly diapered Maren on his hip, then set her on the kitchen floor with her blocks. “Good morning,” he said.
Jared held up the newspaper in response. “Did you see this?” he asked. “A man is running for mayor.”
Jensen laughed and poured himself a cup. “Good luck to him,” he said.
Jared half-smiled and set the paper down, fiddling with his coffee mug. “I think I might go volunteer for him,” he offered hesitantly.
“Seriously?” Jensen said. “Why do you want to get caught up in women’s work? You’re not going to become some kind of manist, are you?”
Jared scoffed. “No, of course not,” he said. “I just -- don’t you ever wish you were more than a househusband, Jen?”
Jensen shrugged. “Go to work everyday? Have to provide for a family? I don’t know, I think I like it here in the kitchen,” he said.
“I guess,” Jared said glumly.
Jensen patted his friend’s back and poured him more coffee. “You know what you need, Jay?” he said. “You need to have a baby. Then you’ll feel differently.”
Jared sighed. “Yeah,” he said resignedly.
THE LOTTERY
Everything he wanted for a week. A card that had the priciest stores handing over anything that caught his fancy. $5 million cash. A glamourous ball with exquisite food and sought-after musicians.
It was a perfect world. With only half a billion people on Earth, there was plenty to go around. The Lottery kept things that way. This was his civic duty, his responsibility as a member of society.
His number came up. He’d had a wonderful life, on this wonderful world. It was ungracious to begrudge that which made it all possible.
But saying goodbye, that final kiss before the Making Way ceremony, all he could think was that it wasn’t enough time.
STOCKS & SORCERY
Jensen came into the house to find Jared prancing around the living room, one hand on his crotch.
“Uh, problem?” he said.
Jared grimaced and kept prancing. “I have an . . .” he lowered his voice to a stage whisper . . . “itch.”
Jensen hung up his jacket. “Get some Sorcerer’s cream. Stop doing that in the living room.”
“I used some cream and now it’s worse,” Jared wailed. He pointed at a jar on the coffee table. Jensen picked it up.
“Dude,” Jensen said, “you used this?”
Jared nodded.
“This is for our chicken, jackass,” Jensen said. “That spicy chicken you like?”
Jared adjusted himself some more in a vain attempt at relief. “The Sorcerer makes spicy chicken powder?”
“The Sorcerer makes everything,” Jensen said, putting his jacket back on. “I’m going to Sorc-Mart to get you some cream. And more spicy chicken powder. Throw that one away, would you?”
IT’S RAINING MEN
“I never thought there could be too much sex,” Jared said when Jensen came in the steam room and sat beside him. “I’m, like, raw.”
Jensen sighed and patted his knee. “You’re a good patriot. We’re repopulating the Earth. It’s our duty as some of the few male survivors.”
“I know, I know,” Jared muttered, tipping his head back and shutting his eyes. After a minute, he said, “And we are super-hot. The world’s going to be better looking with our genes running around.”
“Yep,” Jensen said, and leaned back beside Jared.
GIZMO
“Hey,” Jared said, sliding into his seat and leaning across the aisle to Jensen, “check out this gizmo I got on the black market.”
Jensen rolled his eyes but leaned over to Jared, who had a very tiny metal tube, smaller than his thumb, in his fingers. He pressed a button on the top and a very tiny light came on.
“Wow,” Jensen said, “a flashlight.”
“A super-tiny flashlight!” Jared said. “And the light is something special, LEC or something.”
“You’re going to get busted by the Bureau of Anti-Technology, you know,” Jensen said flatly.
Jared grinned and flashed the super-tiny light in Jensen’s face.
LONE STAR OF TEXAS
Jensen scooped the chips across the table and glanced up at the stock ticker. Those Dell stocks he’d just claimed were up to 24. He smirked across the table at the other broker.
“Good day for my clients,” he said. “Think I’ll cash out.”
“The hell you will,” the broker said. “I want a chance to win that back.”
“You’ve had a chance all day, my friend,” Jensen retorted, and the man grew red in the face. “The great thing about the Republic of Texas? You get another chance tomorrow.” He stood.
“No way,” the man said. “Sit you ass down, cowboy.”
The smile slid off of Jensen’s face. “Do I need to get my lawyer over here?” he asked softly, and before the words were out, Jared was at his side, hand twitching back his suit jacket to rest on his pistol.
“I’ve got counsel too,” the broker said, a man appearing at his shoulder.
“Mr. Ackles’ winnings are legal,” Jared said firmly. “And I’m fast. Sure you want to challenge that?”
The broker studied their faces. The lawyer waited for his cue. Finally, he shook his head minutely. Jensen gathered his chips and took them to the bank.
Once out of sight, Jared grinned at his partner. “Man, I love Texas,” he said.
“Yee-haw,” Jensen answered with his own grin.
WAR ZONE
“Stay with the truck, Jared,” Jeff ordered, and slammed his door shut. Jared shut the engine off to save the gas but stayed in the driver’s seat, alert and ready.
To the north, he could hear the bombing still going on. Closer, he heard small arms fire. A child was crying.
“Jensen!” Jeff screamed. “I know you’re out here! Answer me when I call you, boy!”
Shortly before he’d been killed, Misha had asked Jared why they put up with Jeff and his short fuse. Jared had told him it was better than being on your own in this world.
Now, watching Jeff drag Jensen out of his hidey-hole by the collar, kicking him all the way, he wondered if he’d been wrong.
BIG HOUSE
Jensen looked around nervously while Jared passed LJ the cigarettes and got a paper bag in return.
“Settle down,” Jared told him. “They’re not going to bust us for this piddly shit.”
“Easy for you to say,” Jensen said, scanning the street for Guardians. “I’m the one they’ll shoot if you get caught, buddy.” He held up his hand and wriggled the electronic bracelet on it for emphasis.
“You’re such a good buddy, Jen,” Jared said seriously. “In fact, you’re such a good buddy, I’m going to share with you.”
“Be still my heart,” Jensen said, but when Jared pressed a handful of Sour Patch Kids in to his palm, he accepted them.
DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION
Upstairs, the club had streamers and punch. Couples danced carefully to Lawrence Welk, a safe distance between their bodies. No one need raise their voice to be heard.
Downstairs, past the hidden door and the bouncer demanding a password, the walls were thumping with the beat. Bodies spun and gyrated, pressed close together in the dark. You leaned over and put your lips to someone’s ear to be heard.
“Sweet,” Jared said. Jensen didn’t say anything, but his face was dazed, taking it all in.
“It’s not just the music,” Misha yelled into Jared’s ear. “We’re starting a revolution. One with no guns. All those civil rights our parents were stripped of decades ago, we’re getting them back. We’re going to get the Constitution and the Bill of Rights reinstated. They can’t stop us, we’re going to be like a tidal wave across this nation.”
Jensen nodded, looking excited, but Jared pushed past Misha. “Right now, I just wanna dance,” he said.
Misha grinned. “That’s not a bad place to start a revolution,” he said.
JURASSIC PARK
When makeup finished touching him up and he could finally sit down for a minute, Jensen found Jared absorbed in his iPad.
“Did you see this?” Jared asked. “These poachers at the San Francisco Preserve totally got shredded by velociraptors. There’s some gruesome footage on YouTube.”
“Awesome,” Jensen said, and hoped Jared didn’t show it to him.
“It says they killed six velociraptors before the raptors got them,” Jared continued. “I wonder if the raptors had babies. What do they do with baby raptors when their parents are killed?”
“I’m not sure,” Jensen said, and when Jared didn’t answer, he added, “No.”
“They must have some kind of adoption program,” Jared said. “I mean, they can’t be that dangerous when they’re young.”
“Yes,” Jensen said. “They can.”
“I’ve been thinking Harley and Sadie need something new to keep them active,” Jared mused.
“The baby raptors will kill and eat Harley and Sadie,” Jensen said, and Jared scoffed at him.
TRUTH OR DARE
“You know I love you more than anyone in the world,” Jared said, and yelped when his collar shocked him.
“You’re such an idiot,” she said while he tugged at it.
“Okay, so you know I love you more than anyone in the world except Jensen,” Jared hastily changed it. He paused, then continued when he wasn’t shocked again. “And you’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
His collar buzzed. She rolled her eyes.
“Besides Jensen,” Jared added meekly.
“Mm-hmm,” she said.
“And you’re totally the only person I’m having sex with,” Jared continued.
They both paused, but the collar was silent.
“Weren’t you sure?” she demanded, and Jared shrugged sheepishly.
“Hard to keep track of things sometimes,” he said.
She shook her head and kissed him anyway.
FORESIGHT IS 20-20
Kim came over to their chairs and the boys looked up.
“Jared, we’re going to use the stunt guy for the graveyard scene, so you can just hang for a while,” he said.
Jared wrinkled his nose. “Stunt guy? Why? It’s just some running.”
Kim was looking down at his clipboard, mind already moved on. “The CW Oracle says you’re going to break your arm when she tackles you,” he said absently.
Jared snorted. Jensen looked amused.
“The CW Oracle insists that Smallville is going to last ten seasons,” Jared said. “I can do the scene. I want to do the scene.”
Kim sighed. “Fine,” he said, and then yelled across set for someone to get Jared a release form. “And have an ambulance here!” he added for good measure before walking off.
Jared muttered into his jacket about oracles and running and Smallville. Jensen sat grinning at him until Jared demanded, “What?”
“You’re totally going to get beat up by a girl,” Jensen said.
“Yeah, well, you’re going to . . . be stupid,” Jared retorted.
Jensen laughed.
CUTEFELLAS
Pulling his hat down further, Jared risked one more look over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't being followed, then ducked into the vacant building.
It was dark inside, and dust tickled his nose.
"Hello?" he whispered, and someone grabbed him from behind.
He started to yell, but then he was spun around and pushed up against the wall, and lips sealed to his.
"Hello," Jensen whispered when he ended the kiss. Jared clutched at him. "You okay?"
Jared nodded. "Everything is set," he said. "You should be able to come in after the deal and nab everyone. Me, too. Don't forget."
"Forget the chance to put handcuffs on you?" Jensen breathed in his ear. "I think not."
Jared turned his head away. "You okay?" Jensen asked again. "Not getting cold feet, are you?"
"No," Jared said firmly. "I have to see this through. But - it's the Singer crime family, Jensen. If they find out I'm the one who turned on them, well, I'll be lucky if they just shoot me."
"Hey." Jensen turned Jared's face back to his. "Nothing's going to happen to you. We've got you covered. This will all be over in a couple of days."
"I hope so," Jared said, and kissed Jensen again, for good luck.
OVER THE HILL
Jared couldn't stop blinking back tears at Jensen's combined 30th birthday/retirement party. He nursed his beer and tried not to look morose, but he must have been failing because Jensen pulled him outside and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm the one being put out to pasture here, Jay," Jensen said, and gave Jared a wry smile.
"I know," Jared said miserably. "I'm not that far behind."
Jensen shrugged. "Happens to everyone," he said.
"So," Jared shuffled, "you said you might try some theatre?"
Jensen nodded. "Yeah, there's a couple of states that will let you do theatre until you're 40. Thought I'd give it a run." He sighed. "Poor Dean, though."
Jared shook his head and pressed his lips together, because, seriously? Dean goes to hell and that's it?
"I hear Sam's getting a new brother," he said instead. "Some bastard baby of John's that's going to surface."
"And, hey, new Ruby, right?" Jensen said. "Sam will be fine." He squeezed Jared's shoulder. "You'll be fine."
Jared sniffled, then lifted his beer to tap it against Jensen's. "Happy birthday, old man," he said.
WHEN ALIENS ATTACK
They hustled around the corner, Jared clutching his iPod and speaker tightly, both of them looking over their shoulders.
“I think we lost -- AAAAHHHH!!!!” Jared screamed.
Jensen jumped and pointed at Jared. “Turn it on, turn it on!” he yelled.
“I’m trying!” Jared yelled back, fumbling with the iPod. It slipped from his fingers and Jensen caught it. Hyperventilating, Jared shoved the speaker at Jensen and ran the other way, arms flailing.
Jensen rolled his eyes and turned the iPod on. Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual” peeled out of the speaker.
In the middle of the street, the heads of the two aliens holding blasters at them exploded inside their helmets.
“Come on, Jared!” Jensen shouted down the street. “We play action heroes on TV! Be brave!”
Jared yelled something that sounded like, “Later!” and kept running.
Jensen turned and spied two young women peeking out of a doorway at him. They were blushing and whispering to each other. They giggled when he looked their way.
“Ladies,” Jensen said. “How you doin’?”
HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN, JIGGITY JIG
“I had the craziest dream last night,” Jared told Jensen, watching him in the make-up mirror and smacking happily away at a mound of gummy bears. “It kept changing every few minutes and we were in all these different Earths, where everything was different, like the Russians were in charge, or most of the men were dead, or dinosaurs were real, or wizards ran Wal-Mart, but I was just getting little peeks at what our lives would be like in those worlds.”
“You really need to lay off the sugar before bedtime, Jay,” Jensen said.
“I like my crazy dreams,” Jared said around a fresh mouthful of candy. “But you know what? In each world, you were there with me, and you always loved me.”
“Well,” Jensen said, “you got that part right.”
“Mm-hmm,” Jared said. “But in some of the worlds, you loved me. Like, you looooovvvved me. You know --”
“Yes,” Jensen said, “we all know. You also need to stop reading fanfiction before bedtime, Jay.”
“You loved me, you really loved me, you wanted to kiss me, and have my babies,” Jared sang happily.
On Jensen’s other side, Misha began typing into his phone.
“Please don’t,” Jensen said.
“Too late,” Misha said, and hit a final button. “Done.”
“You really loved me, you were my boyfriend, only I was prettier, and I am taller,” Jared sang.
Misha started typing again.
Jensen closed his eyes and wondered why he had ever signed up for another year.
Title: Sliding
Author: allamboy
Rating: PG
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Summary: “I had the craziest dream last night,” Jared told Jensen, watching him in the make-up mirror and smacking happily away at a mound of gummy bears. “It kept changing every few minutes and we were in all these different Earths, where everything was different, like the Russians were in charge, or most of the men were dead, or dinosaurs were real, or wizards ran Wal-Mart, but I was just getting little peeks at what our lives would be like in those worlds.”
TWO DAYS BEFORE THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
Jared realized that he didn’t feel cold anymore. He felt strangely peaceful, there in the bed beside Jensen, every blanket in the house piled on top of them. The howling wind outside lulled him.
“I wish I could see my mom,” he murmured, and felt Jensen’s icy lips touch his forehead.
“You will soon,” Jensen whispered, and tucked the blankets around them tighter.
Jared went to sleep.
SO AFRAID OF THE RUSSIANS
Jensen jogged down the ally and Jared emerged from a shadow. He grabbed the front of Jensen’s uniform and pulled him into a fierce kiss that got away from them, that had them fumbling at clothing and pressed up against the brick wall.
“No,” Jensen gasped, wrenching his lips away. “Jared, I don’t have time, but I have to tell you -“
Jared pressed his lips back to Jensen’s. “It can wait,” he murmured.
Jensen shook his head. “It can’t. Jared, there’s a traitor in the underground.”
Jared’s head jerked away. “Who? I have to know,” he demanded urgently.
“I couldn’t find out,” Jensen said. “I’ll keep trying, I promise.”
Frustrated, Jared pulled away. “We’re finally gaining ground,” he said. “If they shut us down now - America may never be free.”
THAT YELLOW BASTARD
Jared wiped Jensen’s face with the cool cloth, causing his friend to moan.
“It’s all right,” Jared whispered. “I’m here. You’re not alone, Jensen.”
Jensen didn’t answer, his eyes still closed. He barely looked like himself, his skin the telltale yellow of the Q-virus, his face gaunt and ravaged by the fever.
Misha came up behind Jared and put a hand on his shoulder. “You should take a break, have something to eat.”
Jared shook his head, eyes fixed on Jensen. “No,” he whispered. Misha sighed, and Jared turned to look up at him.
“Thank you, Misha,” he said. “For keeping him here.”
“I wouldn’t send him off to one of those quarantine camps any more than you would,” Misha said. “At least he can be comfortable, here with friends.”
“And if we’re next?” Jared said, turning back to run the cloth over Jensen’s forehead again.
“Then we won’t be alone,” Misha answered.
DEEP IMPACT
Jared let the dogs run ahead of him into the house, taking time to toe off his running shoes. He could hear them grunting happily and wrestling with each other.
“Settle down,” he said, coming into the kitchen, and then pulling up short.
Jensen was crouched down, rubbing Sadie and Harley’s sides with affection. Icarus ran a circle around them.
Jensen looked up and smiled wryly. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” Jared answered, sounding and feeling unsteady. “I thought you flew to Texas.”
Jensen shook his head. “You were right,” he said. “I couldn’t even get near the airport. I’ve spent the last day trying to get back to someplace I knew.” He looked back down at the dogs, who were nosing him bossily to get his full attention. “Hope it’s all right I came here,” he added. “There’s no one at my place, and ...”
Jared huffed breath out his nose. “So,” he said, “we’ve got what? A couple days?”
“Guess so,” Jensen said, still fixed on the dogs.
Jared nodded. “Uh, beer? Pizza? I don’t think anyone’s delivering, but I’ve got some frozen. And ... movie? Something stupid. Like, really idiotic.”
“Zoolander,” Jensen said, looking back up. He was smiling.
Jared smiled back. “Sounds perfect,” he said.
PRINCE OF THIEVES
Jared barged into the little cell-like room he shared with Jensen at headquarters and Jensen sat up on his elbows.
“Well?” he demanded. Jared grinned and opened the bag. It was brimming with hundreds. Jensen whistled.
“I know, right!” Jared said. “Do you know how many families are going to be able to eat off of this? Buy coats for their kids? Hell, I might splurge on a pair of boots that don’t pinch, there’s so much to go around.”
Jensen smiled fondly at him. “Good work out there,” he said, and laid back on the cot. Jared rummaged around the room, then said, “What are you thinking about, so serious over there?”
Jensen shrugged. “Ever wonder where we’re going with this? The great outlaws, robbing the rich to feed the poor. But are we really changing anything?”
Jared snorted. “Change what?” he asked. “This land hasn’t changed in 300 years.”
“It could,” Jensen said. “Imagine if we could get out from under Britain’s rule. Chose our own government. Even hold elections.”
Jared sat on his bed and tugged at the too-small boots. “Yeah,” he grunted. “Who’s gonna make that happen? You?”
Jensen smiled. “Maybe I will,” he mused.
SUMMER OF LOVE
“I’m so high right now,” Jensen said.
“You’re my best friend,” Jared said. “You’re beautiful.”
“Everyone is beautiful, man,” Misha said. “We’re all part of the same whole. We’re all connected.” He stood and stretched. “Come on. We’ll be late for the drum circle.”
MATHLETES
The E! newscaster was talking about Albert Fert’s new giant magnetoresistance discovery, and how he was dating Ada Yonath. Jared smacked angrily at his Twizzler as Melanie the hair girl gushed about how cute Fert was.
“Can you turn that off?” he asked crossly, and Melanie, flushing, did, redirecting her attention to Jared’s mop of hair.
Jared chomped and glared at himself in the mirror. “It makes me so mad,” he began.
Jensen sighed. “Here we go,” he said.
“What?” Jared demanded, waving a hand around. “No one appreciates what we do. Just once, one time, Jensen, I’d like to see an actor on E!”
“I’ve seen some of the Royal Shakespeare guys on E! before,” offered Sakura, Jensen’s hair girl.
“A TV actor,” Jared qualified.
Jensen shook his head. “If you aren’t doing this just for the craft, you’re setting yourself up for a life of disappointment, Jay,” he said. “The spotlight goes to the brains. Next you’re going to say that they should televise the Oscars like they do the Nobel Prizes.”
“Well, they should,” Jared grumbled, and consoled himself with another Twizzler. Melanie patted his shoulder. Jensen sighed.
DESPERATE HOUSEHUSBANDS
“Hey,” Jared called, knocking on the back door as he let himself in.
“Be right down!” Jensen called, so Jared helped himself to some coffee.
Jensen appeared with a freshly diapered Maren on his hip, then set her on the kitchen floor with her blocks. “Good morning,” he said.
Jared held up the newspaper in response. “Did you see this?” he asked. “A man is running for mayor.”
Jensen laughed and poured himself a cup. “Good luck to him,” he said.
Jared half-smiled and set the paper down, fiddling with his coffee mug. “I think I might go volunteer for him,” he offered hesitantly.
“Seriously?” Jensen said. “Why do you want to get caught up in women’s work? You’re not going to become some kind of manist, are you?”
Jared scoffed. “No, of course not,” he said. “I just -- don’t you ever wish you were more than a househusband, Jen?”
Jensen shrugged. “Go to work everyday? Have to provide for a family? I don’t know, I think I like it here in the kitchen,” he said.
“I guess,” Jared said glumly.
Jensen patted his friend’s back and poured him more coffee. “You know what you need, Jay?” he said. “You need to have a baby. Then you’ll feel differently.”
Jared sighed. “Yeah,” he said resignedly.
THE LOTTERY
Everything he wanted for a week. A card that had the priciest stores handing over anything that caught his fancy. $5 million cash. A glamourous ball with exquisite food and sought-after musicians.
It was a perfect world. With only half a billion people on Earth, there was plenty to go around. The Lottery kept things that way. This was his civic duty, his responsibility as a member of society.
His number came up. He’d had a wonderful life, on this wonderful world. It was ungracious to begrudge that which made it all possible.
But saying goodbye, that final kiss before the Making Way ceremony, all he could think was that it wasn’t enough time.
STOCKS & SORCERY
Jensen came into the house to find Jared prancing around the living room, one hand on his crotch.
“Uh, problem?” he said.
Jared grimaced and kept prancing. “I have an . . .” he lowered his voice to a stage whisper . . . “itch.”
Jensen hung up his jacket. “Get some Sorcerer’s cream. Stop doing that in the living room.”
“I used some cream and now it’s worse,” Jared wailed. He pointed at a jar on the coffee table. Jensen picked it up.
“Dude,” Jensen said, “you used this?”
Jared nodded.
“This is for our chicken, jackass,” Jensen said. “That spicy chicken you like?”
Jared adjusted himself some more in a vain attempt at relief. “The Sorcerer makes spicy chicken powder?”
“The Sorcerer makes everything,” Jensen said, putting his jacket back on. “I’m going to Sorc-Mart to get you some cream. And more spicy chicken powder. Throw that one away, would you?”
IT’S RAINING MEN
“I never thought there could be too much sex,” Jared said when Jensen came in the steam room and sat beside him. “I’m, like, raw.”
Jensen sighed and patted his knee. “You’re a good patriot. We’re repopulating the Earth. It’s our duty as some of the few male survivors.”
“I know, I know,” Jared muttered, tipping his head back and shutting his eyes. After a minute, he said, “And we are super-hot. The world’s going to be better looking with our genes running around.”
“Yep,” Jensen said, and leaned back beside Jared.
GIZMO
“Hey,” Jared said, sliding into his seat and leaning across the aisle to Jensen, “check out this gizmo I got on the black market.”
Jensen rolled his eyes but leaned over to Jared, who had a very tiny metal tube, smaller than his thumb, in his fingers. He pressed a button on the top and a very tiny light came on.
“Wow,” Jensen said, “a flashlight.”
“A super-tiny flashlight!” Jared said. “And the light is something special, LEC or something.”
“You’re going to get busted by the Bureau of Anti-Technology, you know,” Jensen said flatly.
Jared grinned and flashed the super-tiny light in Jensen’s face.
LONE STAR OF TEXAS
Jensen scooped the chips across the table and glanced up at the stock ticker. Those Dell stocks he’d just claimed were up to 24. He smirked across the table at the other broker.
“Good day for my clients,” he said. “Think I’ll cash out.”
“The hell you will,” the broker said. “I want a chance to win that back.”
“You’ve had a chance all day, my friend,” Jensen retorted, and the man grew red in the face. “The great thing about the Republic of Texas? You get another chance tomorrow.” He stood.
“No way,” the man said. “Sit you ass down, cowboy.”
The smile slid off of Jensen’s face. “Do I need to get my lawyer over here?” he asked softly, and before the words were out, Jared was at his side, hand twitching back his suit jacket to rest on his pistol.
“I’ve got counsel too,” the broker said, a man appearing at his shoulder.
“Mr. Ackles’ winnings are legal,” Jared said firmly. “And I’m fast. Sure you want to challenge that?”
The broker studied their faces. The lawyer waited for his cue. Finally, he shook his head minutely. Jensen gathered his chips and took them to the bank.
Once out of sight, Jared grinned at his partner. “Man, I love Texas,” he said.
“Yee-haw,” Jensen answered with his own grin.
WAR ZONE
“Stay with the truck, Jared,” Jeff ordered, and slammed his door shut. Jared shut the engine off to save the gas but stayed in the driver’s seat, alert and ready.
To the north, he could hear the bombing still going on. Closer, he heard small arms fire. A child was crying.
“Jensen!” Jeff screamed. “I know you’re out here! Answer me when I call you, boy!”
Shortly before he’d been killed, Misha had asked Jared why they put up with Jeff and his short fuse. Jared had told him it was better than being on your own in this world.
Now, watching Jeff drag Jensen out of his hidey-hole by the collar, kicking him all the way, he wondered if he’d been wrong.
BIG HOUSE
Jensen looked around nervously while Jared passed LJ the cigarettes and got a paper bag in return.
“Settle down,” Jared told him. “They’re not going to bust us for this piddly shit.”
“Easy for you to say,” Jensen said, scanning the street for Guardians. “I’m the one they’ll shoot if you get caught, buddy.” He held up his hand and wriggled the electronic bracelet on it for emphasis.
“You’re such a good buddy, Jen,” Jared said seriously. “In fact, you’re such a good buddy, I’m going to share with you.”
“Be still my heart,” Jensen said, but when Jared pressed a handful of Sour Patch Kids in to his palm, he accepted them.
DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION
Upstairs, the club had streamers and punch. Couples danced carefully to Lawrence Welk, a safe distance between their bodies. No one need raise their voice to be heard.
Downstairs, past the hidden door and the bouncer demanding a password, the walls were thumping with the beat. Bodies spun and gyrated, pressed close together in the dark. You leaned over and put your lips to someone’s ear to be heard.
“Sweet,” Jared said. Jensen didn’t say anything, but his face was dazed, taking it all in.
“It’s not just the music,” Misha yelled into Jared’s ear. “We’re starting a revolution. One with no guns. All those civil rights our parents were stripped of decades ago, we’re getting them back. We’re going to get the Constitution and the Bill of Rights reinstated. They can’t stop us, we’re going to be like a tidal wave across this nation.”
Jensen nodded, looking excited, but Jared pushed past Misha. “Right now, I just wanna dance,” he said.
Misha grinned. “That’s not a bad place to start a revolution,” he said.
JURASSIC PARK
When makeup finished touching him up and he could finally sit down for a minute, Jensen found Jared absorbed in his iPad.
“Did you see this?” Jared asked. “These poachers at the San Francisco Preserve totally got shredded by velociraptors. There’s some gruesome footage on YouTube.”
“Awesome,” Jensen said, and hoped Jared didn’t show it to him.
“It says they killed six velociraptors before the raptors got them,” Jared continued. “I wonder if the raptors had babies. What do they do with baby raptors when their parents are killed?”
“I’m not sure,” Jensen said, and when Jared didn’t answer, he added, “No.”
“They must have some kind of adoption program,” Jared said. “I mean, they can’t be that dangerous when they’re young.”
“Yes,” Jensen said. “They can.”
“I’ve been thinking Harley and Sadie need something new to keep them active,” Jared mused.
“The baby raptors will kill and eat Harley and Sadie,” Jensen said, and Jared scoffed at him.
TRUTH OR DARE
“You know I love you more than anyone in the world,” Jared said, and yelped when his collar shocked him.
“You’re such an idiot,” she said while he tugged at it.
“Okay, so you know I love you more than anyone in the world except Jensen,” Jared hastily changed it. He paused, then continued when he wasn’t shocked again. “And you’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
His collar buzzed. She rolled her eyes.
“Besides Jensen,” Jared added meekly.
“Mm-hmm,” she said.
“And you’re totally the only person I’m having sex with,” Jared continued.
They both paused, but the collar was silent.
“Weren’t you sure?” she demanded, and Jared shrugged sheepishly.
“Hard to keep track of things sometimes,” he said.
She shook her head and kissed him anyway.
FORESIGHT IS 20-20
Kim came over to their chairs and the boys looked up.
“Jared, we’re going to use the stunt guy for the graveyard scene, so you can just hang for a while,” he said.
Jared wrinkled his nose. “Stunt guy? Why? It’s just some running.”
Kim was looking down at his clipboard, mind already moved on. “The CW Oracle says you’re going to break your arm when she tackles you,” he said absently.
Jared snorted. Jensen looked amused.
“The CW Oracle insists that Smallville is going to last ten seasons,” Jared said. “I can do the scene. I want to do the scene.”
Kim sighed. “Fine,” he said, and then yelled across set for someone to get Jared a release form. “And have an ambulance here!” he added for good measure before walking off.
Jared muttered into his jacket about oracles and running and Smallville. Jensen sat grinning at him until Jared demanded, “What?”
“You’re totally going to get beat up by a girl,” Jensen said.
“Yeah, well, you’re going to . . . be stupid,” Jared retorted.
Jensen laughed.
CUTEFELLAS
Pulling his hat down further, Jared risked one more look over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't being followed, then ducked into the vacant building.
It was dark inside, and dust tickled his nose.
"Hello?" he whispered, and someone grabbed him from behind.
He started to yell, but then he was spun around and pushed up against the wall, and lips sealed to his.
"Hello," Jensen whispered when he ended the kiss. Jared clutched at him. "You okay?"
Jared nodded. "Everything is set," he said. "You should be able to come in after the deal and nab everyone. Me, too. Don't forget."
"Forget the chance to put handcuffs on you?" Jensen breathed in his ear. "I think not."
Jared turned his head away. "You okay?" Jensen asked again. "Not getting cold feet, are you?"
"No," Jared said firmly. "I have to see this through. But - it's the Singer crime family, Jensen. If they find out I'm the one who turned on them, well, I'll be lucky if they just shoot me."
"Hey." Jensen turned Jared's face back to his. "Nothing's going to happen to you. We've got you covered. This will all be over in a couple of days."
"I hope so," Jared said, and kissed Jensen again, for good luck.
OVER THE HILL
Jared couldn't stop blinking back tears at Jensen's combined 30th birthday/retirement party. He nursed his beer and tried not to look morose, but he must have been failing because Jensen pulled him outside and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm the one being put out to pasture here, Jay," Jensen said, and gave Jared a wry smile.
"I know," Jared said miserably. "I'm not that far behind."
Jensen shrugged. "Happens to everyone," he said.
"So," Jared shuffled, "you said you might try some theatre?"
Jensen nodded. "Yeah, there's a couple of states that will let you do theatre until you're 40. Thought I'd give it a run." He sighed. "Poor Dean, though."
Jared shook his head and pressed his lips together, because, seriously? Dean goes to hell and that's it?
"I hear Sam's getting a new brother," he said instead. "Some bastard baby of John's that's going to surface."
"And, hey, new Ruby, right?" Jensen said. "Sam will be fine." He squeezed Jared's shoulder. "You'll be fine."
Jared sniffled, then lifted his beer to tap it against Jensen's. "Happy birthday, old man," he said.
WHEN ALIENS ATTACK
They hustled around the corner, Jared clutching his iPod and speaker tightly, both of them looking over their shoulders.
“I think we lost -- AAAAHHHH!!!!” Jared screamed.
Jensen jumped and pointed at Jared. “Turn it on, turn it on!” he yelled.
“I’m trying!” Jared yelled back, fumbling with the iPod. It slipped from his fingers and Jensen caught it. Hyperventilating, Jared shoved the speaker at Jensen and ran the other way, arms flailing.
Jensen rolled his eyes and turned the iPod on. Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual” peeled out of the speaker.
In the middle of the street, the heads of the two aliens holding blasters at them exploded inside their helmets.
“Come on, Jared!” Jensen shouted down the street. “We play action heroes on TV! Be brave!”
Jared yelled something that sounded like, “Later!” and kept running.
Jensen turned and spied two young women peeking out of a doorway at him. They were blushing and whispering to each other. They giggled when he looked their way.
“Ladies,” Jensen said. “How you doin’?”
HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN, JIGGITY JIG
“I had the craziest dream last night,” Jared told Jensen, watching him in the make-up mirror and smacking happily away at a mound of gummy bears. “It kept changing every few minutes and we were in all these different Earths, where everything was different, like the Russians were in charge, or most of the men were dead, or dinosaurs were real, or wizards ran Wal-Mart, but I was just getting little peeks at what our lives would be like in those worlds.”
“You really need to lay off the sugar before bedtime, Jay,” Jensen said.
“I like my crazy dreams,” Jared said around a fresh mouthful of candy. “But you know what? In each world, you were there with me, and you always loved me.”
“Well,” Jensen said, “you got that part right.”
“Mm-hmm,” Jared said. “But in some of the worlds, you loved me. Like, you looooovvvved me. You know --”
“Yes,” Jensen said, “we all know. You also need to stop reading fanfiction before bedtime, Jay.”
“You loved me, you really loved me, you wanted to kiss me, and have my babies,” Jared sang happily.
On Jensen’s other side, Misha began typing into his phone.
“Please don’t,” Jensen said.
“Too late,” Misha said, and hit a final button. “Done.”
“You really loved me, you were my boyfriend, only I was prettier, and I am taller,” Jared sang.
Misha started typing again.
Jensen closed his eyes and wondered why he had ever signed up for another year.