Late night. In Australia. He felt like an alien in his own skin.
Just as he was ready to close the laptop it made that annoying little jingle it made when new mail came in. For the life of him he couldn't figure out how to make it stop. He considered ignoring it, but he already felt lonely enough. This connection to someone, anyone, in the outside world was welcome.
With difficulty he opened the mailbox and stared at the one line message.
"What are you doing?"
Aside from shivering and feeling sorry for myself, he mused....and the response he typed was garbled. He blamed that on his large fingers.
"MNopthing"
He wasn't sure how that translated into an offer to meet, but it had. Dirty socks and empty bottles tossed hastily aside. And face to face smiles somehow transmuted into zippers grating...just one taste, and a lifetime of savoring.
I don't know how or when it happened. It was like a switch triggered in my brain, something that shut down balance and thrives on driving me to extremes. Nobody noticed - and why would they, when I was temperamental before this? Everyone has their ups and downs, especially in my game, so who would notice that my mood swings just went that little bit further, that little bit higher and lower than everyone else's?
Still, I suppose the how doesn't really matter. Even the doctors can't pinpoint a how, and it's not really their priority. It's happened, however it happened, and much as I'd love to understand, it's really not possible at this point.
No, the only question for now is how do I live with it?
The trouble with endings long passed is the occasional need to work your way back, retrace every last footstep of the journey, pick apart every last decision, no matter how petty or minute, going into minuscule detail the history of all those involved. Only then may you truly find out how it all happened.
By the time this monumental task has been managed, a whole other question arrives... life always was a vicious circle of pointless tasks...
I don't know how it happened. How I got the courage. One day I was living my life, wishing for something different. Wishing for a different house, a different husband, a different life. Then I decided wishing for it was not going to help, I had to walk away and start over. I had to set out in life on my own, and go for the things I wanted. After I stepped out the door, I looked back wondering if I made the right decision. Then I felt a happiness I hadn't felt in years, and a smile creep across my face. I knew the road ahead was going to be hard, and I still don't know where it will lead in the end. I just know it was the right choice. I choose to be happy again.
I met him through a guy I was going on a "date" with. I had just recently broken up with my boyfriend and was only going on this date to waste some time and see a good movie. As we sat down to dinner He showed up. Immediately I was attracted to him. He was cute and smart and funny and was just as in love with Batman as I was. After the movie we exchanged numbers and the guy I was on the "date" with was a bit dejected
( ... )
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Just as he was ready to close the laptop it made that annoying little jingle it made when new mail came in. For the life of him he couldn't figure out how to make it stop. He considered ignoring it, but he already felt lonely enough. This connection to someone, anyone, in the outside world was welcome.
With difficulty he opened the mailbox and stared at the one line message.
"What are you doing?"
Aside from shivering and feeling sorry for myself, he mused....and the response he typed was garbled. He blamed that on his large fingers.
"MNopthing"
He wasn't sure how that translated into an offer to meet, but it had. Dirty socks and empty bottles tossed hastily aside. And face to face smiles somehow transmuted into zippers grating...just one taste, and a lifetime of savoring.
And that....was how it happened.
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Ah, bless. Loved the alien analogy. (Somehow watching too much Torchwood makes that all the truer to me.)
Moments, small things, can have such an impact, even a single question across the world wide web. Loved this.
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Still, I suppose the how doesn't really matter. Even the doctors can't pinpoint a how, and it's not really their priority. It's happened, however it happened, and much as I'd love to understand, it's really not possible at this point.
No, the only question for now is how do I live with it?
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By the time this monumental task has been managed, a whole other question arrives... life always was a vicious circle of pointless tasks...
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