Here's something weird!

[alizarin_nyc]

I was thinking about fanfic today and how I'd gotten this really great comment on one of my fics. And how I haven't written in over a year and have had no desire to, in fact, don't READ fanfic at all, ever, any more

Comments

[anonymous]

Oh, it's like reading my own thoughts, but replace poetry for fanfic and grad school for other stuff and wine, was wine in there.

Today, was return of the anxiety attack. I can't believe I survived driving anywhere.

Tomorrow, field trip.

[alizarin_nyc]

Belated reply, but I know who you are! Hang in there... Love you.

[executrix]

Hey! "I can't write anything NOW" is not the same as "I will never be able to write anything ever again"!

Also, post the finished fics! That's a lot easier than writing, which, I have to admit is NOT EASY.

[alizarin_nyc]

Thou speakest truth and I'm going to post finished fics. Shortly.

[beadattitude]

I'm on tumblr as bead-bead.

But honey, don't give up. I had a three year writers block. I started - not really thinking of it as an exercise - writing up my dreams in the "Dream Report," and fleshed them out a little. One day, a window opened in my brain, and John & Sherlock gave me a little slice of life scene. And it snowballed from there.....and then dropped off....and then someone asked me a question related to one of my stories and I did a full page riff on it...so it's still there. I just have to coax it back out.

I've been on the depression treadmill too. Suuuuuucks. ::hugs::

[alizarin_nyc]

I'm not on Tumblr because it frustrated me and although I am a visual person, I need attribution and cross-communication. But *sigh* whatever people do fannishly is okay by me.

Belated reply, I know! But. It's been on my mind still.

[blythechild]

It makes sense that you stop writing when you cycle along the depression treadmill. Writing involves a fuckton of self-criticism and that doesn't appear to be a great time-waster if you're already being very self-critical. For myself, I always write more when I'm depressed because it is an escape from my RL issues. I have to remind myself to DEAL with shit, ya know? But I try to keep doing it through the ups and downs because I don't want to give up the routine. Routines make me happy on a subconscious level - my doctor pointed it out with a big flashing arrow thingy.

Regardless, you should post the completed stuff. I mean, why not?

Also, I will never join the hordes over on Tumblr-too-cool-for-an-E.

[alizarin_nyc]

I always write more when I'm depressed because it is an escape from my RL issues.

This so perfectly describes me and my life and what I've been understanding since the depression lifted. ESCAPE. I wasn't sitting on the couch all day watching TV because I was lazy... I was ILL. Now I can't even watch TV without popping up to do dishes or napping or giving up and doing something else.

Routine is VERY good. My doctor is trying to do the same for me -- and it's slowly working. Get up at the same time every day. Generally. Sort of. ;)

[blythechild]

You'll get there ;) It takes time for us stubborn dinosaurs to latch onto a new concept *thumbs up*

[chelseagirl]

I still content that tumblr is great for pretty pictures; awful for discussion, and why is fandom there? (I love it for historic and alt fashion but continue to resist making it my site for fandom.)

It's not whether you can write; it's whether it's filling a need, I think. If you are feeling that need again, do it.

My husband (who is dealing with some pretty major depression issues, as well) and I have just fallen in love with Black Sails and I found myself writing a fic in my head this morning and then sort of told him about it and it came out all weird. So of course I have a conference proposal and an academic article to write and *this* is when my fanfic muse decides to come out and play . . .

[alizarin_nyc]

Why IS fandom there? I guess if they like it and it works for them, but I miss the meta, the discussions, the friendships. I've given up on it as I have fallen in love with Instagram (not fannish, but artistic) and still fall behind on Twitter and LJ/DW. And also do a lot on FB, but don't really worry about keeping up.

I think I am feeling that need! I'mma do it.

Fanfic muses are so damn fickle. And inappropriate! I know that M. has suffered his share of depression. It's hard on the spouse as well. Asi didn't handle it very well but I am glad he got out of my way so I could get better. And the combo Eastern/Western/intensive therapy seems to have worked, but it was a money hole. :/