You know what's difficult, in the cold of night (like now, of course)? When I get inside my head and start asking the "chicken or egg" question. Not about chickens or eggs, mind you, but about my own life
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and loneliness...i always feel lonely. in relationships and friendships and out of them. it's like i have this hole in me and there could never be enough people to love me to even get close to filling it.
i always expect it to go away when i date people and it never does which is why i get so dissatisfied with relationships and feel even worse in them.
there's a part of me that misses brad, too. a small part, but it's there. i think we mourn for what we thought it was, what it meant to us at the time.
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and loneliness...i always feel lonely. in relationships and friendships and out of them. it's like i have this hole in me and there could never be enough people to love me to even get close to filling it.
i always expect it to go away when i date people and it never does which is why i get so dissatisfied with relationships and feel even worse in them.
<3!
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mwahs and loves.
~l
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