The Teleportors Are Occupied Today [ACTION]

[chose_death]

[Anyone who requires use of one of the city's many teleportors today will happen across a peculiar sight. For today, there is one man who is hogging the teleporting machines, and rather persistently at that

Comments

[ironfail]

[Tony was on a grocery run. Yes, he knows, stop with the shocked faces, ha ha bloody ha. But Pepper had been busy and he'd had sudden, intense cravings for several foods they don't normally keep in the house, so he'd sucked it up, complained to nobody in particular, and set out for the nearest grocery. It had worked out surprisingly well; he'd found everything he needed and had only yelled at one person in the store for being incompetent. Large brown paper bag full of groceries in hand, Tony made his way back to the Avengers household.

Well, he tried to, at least. Instead he ran into some douchebag with a stupid hat as the guy exited a teleporter without so much as a warning. Tony barely manages to keep hold of his bag, but he does let loose a few choice swear words.]

[chose_death]

[Not exactly what the author meant by 'gentle prodding,' but this will do just as nicely.

The aforementioned douchebag with a stupid hat teeters like a top heavy lamppost and just barely catches himself on the heels of his shiny, booted feet. His stupid hat is less than lucky. He had been holding it in his massive clutches ponderously when Tony and his grocery haul barreled into him. Now it is bent terribly out of shape, likely twisted during his struggle to catch himself before his fall.

The stranger reels back and straightens to his full, impressive height, flashing a brief contorted expression of surprise. He grimaces down at his poor hat, irritated, and thrusts a cold, probing stare at Tony Stark.]

Pardon! [cries the tall stranger over Tony's colorful language. His voice is deep, calmly annoyed, and lightly accented - European, more than likely. He sets about attempting to bend the hat back into its proper shape.

He continues with abandon, hardly missing a beat,] Pardon me! I did not see you there. My eyes passed straight over

[ironfail]

[Tony had been about to apologize (don't let anyone say Pepper's not a good influence on him) until the short joke. What was it with people and short jokes here? Jesus, he needed to get himself some lifts for his shoes or something, this was getting ridiculous.

He shifts his bag of groceries to the side so he can better glare at the guy. And okay, maybe the short jokes were slightly accurate.] That's no excuse. Why don't you watch where the hell you're going, you idiot?

[chose_death]

Idiot, indeed! [he scoffs calmly, his tone of voice deceptively light. He tenderly fits his mostly-adjusted hat back on his head.] And is it customary to look both ways before exiting one of these devices?

[Perhaps, with the passing of some time, Javert will realize that he is being unnecessarily testy to this stranger. Can he really be blamed for this? He had awoken only several hours ago in a new unrecognizable place, with unsettling new technologies, in a city he has yet to learn and know. To say that Javert is at the end of his frazzled nerves is an understatement. He may be convinced to apologize to Tony Stark later, once he has time to clear his head and cool off.

...

Maybe. If his ridiculous sense of honor wins out over haughty pride's ugly head.]

I suppose you are doing a fine job of looking out, then? With a big lug of a bag in your face?

[ironfail]

If you're gonna come barreling out of them like that, yeah. And I can see just fine. [All right, so maybe Tony hadn't been paying as much attention as he should've been, but he's not going to admit that. Who expects someone to just pop out of a teleporter that you're trying to go into anyway!

Forget honor and pride, anyone dealing with Tony Stark knows there's no such thing as being "unnecessarily testy" with him. Javert will be trying to arrest him for general dickishness or something soon enough.]

[chose_death]

Barreling out like a buffoon, now! [Javert mutters in an aside.] You would know if I were barreling. My arms would be swinging round in circles.

[Fortunately, general dickishness does not break any laws. Javert will not be arresting you today, Tony Stark. However, if he ever finds out about your vigilantism... Well, that's another story.

Unfortunately, just because he won't be arresting you does not mean he won't be just a little childish. Two full-grown men arguing over a simple accident. They should be ashamed of themselves.]

Well, go on, get on your way! It is done, there is nothing left to see here. Unless you rediscover your niceness in the next several minutes. I am sick of this argument. And I haven't yet finished my experiment.

[ironfail]

[Is this guy muttering to himself, what the hell, are they doing Shakespeare, Tony thinks not.] And I bet that would be a sight to see. Positively hilarious.

[Shame is something Tony doesn't have a lot of. He'll gladly stand around in public arguing all day. Or at least until he finds something better to do. And he'd just like to see Javert try and stop Iron Man. That'd be a laugh.]

I think my niceness is on a permanent vacation in Aruba. So no dice. [He pauses, shifting the grocery bag in his grip slightly. Curse his damn curiosity.] Experiment? Running around in a teleporter's gotta be the least scientific experiment I've ever seen.

[chose_death]

Teleporter? [The man huffs. Tony, you really haven't heard the half of it--this somewhat unhinged, bestial man has a rather frequent and terrible habit of muttering aloud to himself, at the expense of others understanding him. A little touched in the head, is how they used to refer to him back in his days at the Parisian prefecture of police.] Is that what you call this thing?

[He looks back to the machine, oozing with doubt.]

It is a practical experiment, [Javert grimaces. He is finally getting a reign in on himself, his voice dropping to a calm, cold, indifferent tone.] What the devil does it matter to you? Do you know more about it?

[ironfail]

['A little touched in the head' is a lot nicer than what they say about Tony back home. Regardless, don't think Tony won't make fun of Javert for basically talking to himself. Even if Tony also talks to himself more often than not.] That's a teleporter, yeah.

[Tony takes a moment to look at Javert's clothes, sighing. Yet another sap pulled out of time without a clue what a phone or a television was, most likely. How fun.] I'm an engineer. Haven't quite figured out how they work yet, since the tech isn't available on my world. And I'm not exactly allowed to dismantle one of these babies, as much as I'd love to.

[chose_death]

[Engineer, eh? Javert looks upon Tony in a new light, eyeing him through his lashes thoughtfully.

Tony may be surprised by what Javert does know. No, there's no way he would be familiar with far-future technologies like teleporters, but his previous experiences in a modern world have granted him knowledge of cars, refrigerators, electric toasters and light switches.

He even, god forbid, understands the motorcycle. If he hadn't, he might have requested a horse or a carriage by now.]

What stops you? [he asks abruptly.] Laws? Or are you lacking tools?

[ironfail]

[Refrigerators and light switches are nothing compared to what Tony can show him. If only he had his real workshop here, not the makeshift one he'd patched together through junkyard scraps and dismantled electronics. Javert ever met an AI?

Tony looks like he's about to answer, then stops, frowning.] ...You know what, I don't know. I just assumed I'd get in trouble if I started taking apart their stuff. [He chuckles.] Weird, that's never stopped me before.

[chose_death]

[Javert certainly has not met an AI, thank you very much, and it is not something he has any grand desire to meet. Frankly, though, meeting one would both repulse and intrigue him immensely.]

There, [remarks Javert blandly.] That is something useful to do. It is a remarkable machine. But I don't trust it.

[ironfail]

[Clearly there's something that needs to happen. Good thing Tony built an AI in Aliunde that will work perfectly for this.]

What's there not to trust? People let you down way more than machines do. [He pats the side of the teleporter with his free hand, as if comforting it from Javert's commentary.]

[chose_death]

Machines are consistent, not trustworthy, [says Javert with pursed lips. He casts a droll stare at the teleporter.] This is not understood. You said so yourself. What will happen when there is an error? A violent ripping of the lower half of the body, whisked away to its destination? The upper half left behind and abandoned?

[He raises a sardonic expression to Tony] There is an experiment idea for you.

[ironfail]

Machines are more trustworthy than people, anyway. You take care of them, they don't let you down. [His hand's still on the teleporter, leaning against it slightly now.] Hasn't been a problem yet. Unlike the rest of this shitty town.

[He smirks.] You volunteering to be my guinea pig?