Even Ferber says "not before six months" and he's kind of the father of sleep training-not an admirable title in my mind, but well, it is what it is. And you know what you'll often hear from sleep training parents? That they have to do it over and over and over again each time there's a disruption like an illness or a vacation. We've never sleep trained the kids...Miriam has been sleeping through the night for quite a while, and Naomi started sleeping through without a feeding at about nine months-and with rare disruptions for things like teething and illness. She did it on her own, when her body was ready and when her mind was ready and we've not had to repeat what everyone has told me is an unpleasant process over and over and over again.
Ask Moxie has a good blog entry about sleep regression. It tends to be short lived if that's any comfort. A week or two usually.
In my opinion, "cry it out" is barbaric, and it's about selfishly catering to the needs of parents instead of babies. Babies need their parents, period. Caring for a baby doesn't stop when the sun goes down.
And yes, the stress hormone released by panicking babies (cortisol) can alter brain chemistry and this overdosing of cortisol to the brain has even been linked to mental illness later in life.
It makes me furious when people try to push "independence" on little babies. And oh man, "self-soothing." I'm sorry, but your job as a parent is to soothe your baby.
I could go on and on but I think you get the point :)
Agree completely. Why does parenting stop when the sun goes down? Why would a baby want its mother or father any less at night?
I also dislike the "rested sleep trainer vs. harried and frazzled cosleeper" notion that sleep advocates keep purporting. I sleep great with Erika (when she sleeps, that is..)
Oi so glad you posted this. Q is awful getting to sleep right now. I am totally against CIO - it breaks my heart to hear anyone doing that.
I'm currently reading the no cry sleep solution and trying to get a better plan about sleeping - she even said it can work with co-sleeping. There's another book a friend suggested - I'll have to look it up - though I haven't read it yet. There's some info on CIO that will make you never want to try it.
I'm currently trying to get Q out of our bed. We've co-slept from day 1 but I'm ready for her to be in her crib completely now. I'm just going to set up a good routine - keep doing it - and hopefully she'll get over this bump. She goes down in her crib but still ends up in our bed around 1 am and we get up around 5:30 - 5:45 for the day.
i agree with the comments above. erika is still such a tiny baby! 4 months old is so, so young, so new, so recently out of your body! i could never, ever CIO with my daughters. however, now that they are 20 months and 4 years, i have gotten much tougher in my nighttime parenting. i think you are right on when you say Sleep trainers try to scare me into thinking if I dont start now, I'll have a terrible sleeper when she's older, that I'm setting myself up for an insomniac with emotional attachment issues (since we cosleep)?! By that logic, should I worry she'll be an adult who needs to wear diapers since she's not currently potty trained? Or should I be concerned that she can't walk, crawl, stand, or feed herself? She's a 4-month old baby-- needing your parents to help you sleep is not out of the question for us.
oh thank you for this post... recent get together with other moms we were talking about sleep training and what horror CIO sounds like. I am sure our neighbours wouldn't like it much either! But mostly neither my husband nor I could tolerate it
( ... )
It's a cultural norm for Chinese to cosleep too. My mom coslept with each of us till we were about a year old; she said that's the age when the child is old enough to understand that they have their own bed. Before that, my mom is incredulous and thinks the concept of a crib is "just for selfish parents who dont want to be parents" (and she says this, knowing I have a crib, LOL) My sis and I shared a room till I was 14 years old (and she was 13).
She used to fall asleep nursing (when she was under 2 months old) but lately when I nurse her she rarely falls asleep while attached, she normally just enters a tired/sleepy/groggy phase, and I pass her to Brian. He burps her then puts her down.
All this week though, she is not sleepy at all after nursing--- just shrieks and laughs when her dad picks her up! :/
oh dear... is this what's coming up?! Although... these days D will not fall asleep for naps after nursing as she used to but konks out for her night sleep (knocks all the wood surfaces around) - but I think that's more because she doesn't nap and she spends the day screaming and overtiring herself beyond exhaustion. sigh ....
Have you found any solution for the distracted baby? I get that now too with D nursing. Her solution is feed at night! Which would be fine if she would nap during the day and I would get some rest then too!
Comments 23
Ask Moxie has a good blog entry about sleep regression. It tends to be short lived if that's any comfort. A week or two usually.
Reply
And yes, the stress hormone released by panicking babies (cortisol) can alter brain chemistry and this overdosing of cortisol to the brain has even been linked to mental illness later in life.
It makes me furious when people try to push "independence" on little babies. And oh man, "self-soothing." I'm sorry, but your job as a parent is to soothe your baby.
I could go on and on but I think you get the point :)
Reply
Reply
Reply
I also dislike the "rested sleep trainer vs. harried and frazzled cosleeper" notion that sleep advocates keep purporting. I sleep great with Erika (when she sleeps, that is..)
Reply
I'm currently reading the no cry sleep solution and trying to get a better plan about sleeping - she even said it can work with co-sleeping. There's another book a friend suggested - I'll have to look it up - though I haven't read it yet. There's some info on CIO that will make you never want to try it.
I'm currently trying to get Q out of our bed. We've co-slept from day 1 but I'm ready for her to be in her crib completely now. I'm just going to set up a good routine - keep doing it - and hopefully she'll get over this bump. She goes down in her crib but still ends up in our bed around 1 am and we get up around 5:30 - 5:45 for the day.
Reply
There's one for 19 weeks!
Reply
Sleep trainers try to scare me into thinking if I dont start now, I'll have a terrible sleeper when she's older, that I'm setting myself up for an insomniac with emotional attachment issues (since we cosleep)?! By that logic, should I worry she'll be an adult who needs to wear diapers since she's not currently potty trained? Or should I be concerned that she can't walk, crawl, stand, or feed herself? She's a 4-month old baby-- needing your parents to help you sleep is not out of the question for us.
interestingly enough, i just came across this article via twitter today:http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/08/17/
Reply
Reply
She used to fall asleep nursing (when she was under 2 months old) but lately when I nurse her she rarely falls asleep while attached, she normally just enters a tired/sleepy/groggy phase, and I pass her to Brian. He burps her then puts her down.
All this week though, she is not sleepy at all after nursing--- just shrieks and laughs when her dad picks her up! :/
Reply
Have you found any solution for the distracted baby? I get that now too with D nursing. Her solution is feed at night! Which would be fine if she would nap during the day and I would get some rest then too!
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment