I Will Stay
Title: I Will Stay
Prompt: Burns
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat (All Time Low)
Rating: Teen
Summary: "Why didn't you ever pick up?"
Warnings: Fire, Missed Phone Calls, Haircuts.
Dedication: Anyone who stalks my livejournal for whatever reason you've got. Thank you for it. (:
Beta: dee_jaydj
Disclaimer: I own everything but them, obviously. The Earth is my bitch.
Author Notes: First real fic in forever! Written for my hc_bingo table. One down, four to go.
It had been weeks, months even, since Jack had last seen Alex. They hadn’t been together since the incident that got the restraining order placed on Jack, and it wasn’t even like it had been his fault. It had just been an accident, but since everyone knew Jack as the kid who always messed everything up, it was decided that it wasn’t an accident and that it was his fault. Since then, he’d been back and forth between dealing with lawyers and frustrated parents and there wasn’t a single way that he could get close to Alex. It was almost as if they wanted to keep him from ever seeing him again, wanted to press that additional weight onto his back to remind him that he had fucked up and fucked up good.
But it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault that they hadn’t read the directions and it wasn’t his fault that they had used the wrong pot, at least not fully anyway. Jack knew that he was to blame for a lot of this, but he didn’t see where they had the right to tell him that he had intentionally caused this to happen. He would never, never intentionally hurt Alex. No. Never.
So there had been oil that splashed out of the pot. How was that Jack’s fault? So he had thrown water on a grease fire… That might have been bad, but still, he had been trying to put it out. The main issue that Jack had been trapped in was between stopping the fire and keeping Alex safe.
That was where he had failed.
He can still remember that day perfectly clearly in his head. He can hear Alex’s screams and he can see the flames spreading everywhere. Jack can’t sleep through the night anymore. Every time he tries, he’s jolted awake by the sound of Alex’s screams.
But today was the day. Today was the day the restraining order was declared null and he could finally visit Alex. Sure, there had been phone calls. Loads and loads of phone calls, but Jack never answered them and he never, ever called back. He couldn’t do that to Alex, to himself. He couldn’t be selfish and talk to the boy who he loved and try and formulate words that were stuck, buried in his throat.
He just couldn’t do that to the both of them.
But now that he was free, he was going to go and see Alex. He was going to go and finally apologize and quite possibly beg for forgiveness even though he doubted that Alex would accept it. After all, who would forgive someone who was the reason you had third degree burns on over half of your body? Jack surely wouldn’t if he was in Alex’s position. Well…no, he would, but that was just because he loved Alex more than life itself and he’d forgive anything that boy did to him, as long as he wasn’t stabbing him in the back, literally. That would just take it a little too far.
Jack lightly rapped on the door to the home of the Gaskarth’s home and he bit down on his lip, waiting quietly for somebody to come and answer the door. There was silence, a long bit of silence, before somebody actually stepped forward and answered the door. Mrs. Gaskarth didn’t seem too pleased at all to see Jack and it seemed that she was on the verge of kicking him out before he even stepped across the threshold, but she didn’t. Instead, she just silently stepped aside, not saying a word to him as she shut the door behind him and let Jack go and find Alex on his own.
The door to Alex’s room was shut when Jack got up there, a strange thing, since Alex never shut his door. Jack swallowed and he shrugged lightly before knocking on the door. He heard the faint, muffled sounds of ‘come in’ and lightly pushed the door open, not ready at all for what he managed to walk into.
His beautiful Alex, his perfect, precious baby was lying in the bed, wrapped up in bandage after bandage. His hair was almost completely gone minus the bit of fuzz that was growing and one tiny chunk that surprisingly hadn’t been burned or cut off by the hospital. Luckily, though, Alex’s face wasn’t mangled, but that seemed to be the only part of him that hadn’t been attacked by the flames.
Jack swallowed thickly. This…this was all his fault. He wanted to run. Wanted to escape from the house and go find somewhere to puke up this nauseous feeling that was causing his stomach to churn madly. He could feel the bile in his throat and he tried to swallow it back, but he couldn’t manage to do so because of the lump in his throat. This was absolutely horrible and it was all his fault. It was all his fault.
Those brown eyes. Those gorgeous, enticing eyes of Alex’s managed to lock onto Jack’s and Jack could feel his entire body shake as he began to automatically step forward, heading over to sit on the corner of Alex’s bed and try to keep from crying; try to focus on apologizing. It took everything that Jack had to make himself go over to that bed, considering he just wanted to bolt, but he didn’t. He lightly sat down on the bed and swallowed once more before opening his mouth , trying to find the right words to speak.
“Alex, I-“
“Why didn’t you ever pick up?” Jack was taken aback by the question. Such a simple thing like that should have been easy to answer, but Jack couldn’t. The words that he had oh so carefully practiced to explain to Alex that he wouldn’t want to talk to the person who had unintentionally caused him to be a disfigured, constantly in pain mess. Instead, Jack just fell silent as he listened to Alex’s quite, grated voice struggle to get out the words that the boy wanted to say. “I called. Every day. You never picked up. Not once.” Jack swallowed and he looked down at his hands, feeling absolutely horrid for not answering the phone even a single time, but he had been scared. He had been so scared that if he answered that phone, he’d hear words from Alex that he never wanted to hear.
“Why?”
“I’m…Alex, I’m sorry,” he whispered. He could see hurt and pain on his disfigured boyfriend’s face and it killed him to know that he was the reason that it was there. “I thought that…well, I don’t know what I thought. I just wanted to do right by you and I guess that I didn’t. I’m so sorry.”
Jack could see tears in Alex’s eyes and he felt them in his own. He hated himself for what he had done to the boy, because not only had he ruined the most perfect being in existence, but he had gone and hurt him by not picking up. He had been too selfish himself, and Alex had paid the price of hurt over and over.
“I should hate you,” Alex choked out, starting to cry, and Jack’s heart began to break all over again as he watched. He wanted to reach forward and wipe the tears from Alex’s eyes; wanted to wrap his arms around the boy and apologize for every single time he didn’t pick up that phone, but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t let himself touch the boy after he had done so much to hurt him.
So it surprised Jack when Alex was reaching out to him and when Alex grabbed onto his hands, Jack was pretty sure he had stopped breathing. “I…I don’t though,” Alex whispered, closing his eyes as he loosely held Jack’s hands in his own. “I tried, tried to hate you, but I just can’t.”
Alex opened his eyes and he looked at Jack, a hint of a smile trying to get through the twisted, marred flesh that Jack was currently staring at in disbelief. “I love you too damn much, you slut.”
A watery smile spread to Jack’s lips as he weakly chuckled, trying to hide his shock. He didn’t understand how Alex could still love him after all that he had done, but it warmed his heart to know that his boyfriend didn’t hate him, didn’t want him dead or anything like that. “I love you too, Gaskank.” Jack could see Alex’s smile breaking through and soon, the two of them were laughing, Jack more than Alex since it was hard for the brunette to laugh.
Once they came down from the tiny high that they had managed, Jack reached out and he lightly ran his hand over the top of Alex’s head, feeling the soft fuzz of new growth beneath his fingertips. New growth; a new start. That’s what this was. This was Jack’s chance to do right by Alex, take care of him the way that he had neglected to before.
“You know, you look ridiculous,” Jack said with a small smile as he lightly tugged on the one bit of hair that Alex still had. “Can I cut this off so that you don’t look like so much of an adorable freak?”
Alex looked up at Jack for a moment. “Will I still be adorable?” he asked quietly, seriousness laced in his voice as he spoke.
“Alex,” Jack said as he smiled at him. “You’ll always be adorable to me.” And at this point, Jack couldn’t care less that Alex had burn scars all over his body and that he was missing his hair, because just seeing Alex smile made Jack know that he had the most beautiful boyfriend in the world.
And that was all he could ever ask for.
Prompt: Burns
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat (All Time Low)
Rating: Teen
Summary: "Why didn't you ever pick up?"
Warnings: Fire, Missed Phone Calls, Haircuts.
Dedication: Anyone who stalks my livejournal for whatever reason you've got. Thank you for it. (:
Beta: dee_jaydj
Disclaimer: I own everything but them, obviously. The Earth is my bitch.
Author Notes: First real fic in forever! Written for my hc_bingo table. One down, four to go.
It had been weeks, months even, since Jack had last seen Alex. They hadn’t been together since the incident that got the restraining order placed on Jack, and it wasn’t even like it had been his fault. It had just been an accident, but since everyone knew Jack as the kid who always messed everything up, it was decided that it wasn’t an accident and that it was his fault. Since then, he’d been back and forth between dealing with lawyers and frustrated parents and there wasn’t a single way that he could get close to Alex. It was almost as if they wanted to keep him from ever seeing him again, wanted to press that additional weight onto his back to remind him that he had fucked up and fucked up good.
But it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault that they hadn’t read the directions and it wasn’t his fault that they had used the wrong pot, at least not fully anyway. Jack knew that he was to blame for a lot of this, but he didn’t see where they had the right to tell him that he had intentionally caused this to happen. He would never, never intentionally hurt Alex. No. Never.
So there had been oil that splashed out of the pot. How was that Jack’s fault? So he had thrown water on a grease fire… That might have been bad, but still, he had been trying to put it out. The main issue that Jack had been trapped in was between stopping the fire and keeping Alex safe.
That was where he had failed.
He can still remember that day perfectly clearly in his head. He can hear Alex’s screams and he can see the flames spreading everywhere. Jack can’t sleep through the night anymore. Every time he tries, he’s jolted awake by the sound of Alex’s screams.
But today was the day. Today was the day the restraining order was declared null and he could finally visit Alex. Sure, there had been phone calls. Loads and loads of phone calls, but Jack never answered them and he never, ever called back. He couldn’t do that to Alex, to himself. He couldn’t be selfish and talk to the boy who he loved and try and formulate words that were stuck, buried in his throat.
He just couldn’t do that to the both of them.
But now that he was free, he was going to go and see Alex. He was going to go and finally apologize and quite possibly beg for forgiveness even though he doubted that Alex would accept it. After all, who would forgive someone who was the reason you had third degree burns on over half of your body? Jack surely wouldn’t if he was in Alex’s position. Well…no, he would, but that was just because he loved Alex more than life itself and he’d forgive anything that boy did to him, as long as he wasn’t stabbing him in the back, literally. That would just take it a little too far.
Jack lightly rapped on the door to the home of the Gaskarth’s home and he bit down on his lip, waiting quietly for somebody to come and answer the door. There was silence, a long bit of silence, before somebody actually stepped forward and answered the door. Mrs. Gaskarth didn’t seem too pleased at all to see Jack and it seemed that she was on the verge of kicking him out before he even stepped across the threshold, but she didn’t. Instead, she just silently stepped aside, not saying a word to him as she shut the door behind him and let Jack go and find Alex on his own.
The door to Alex’s room was shut when Jack got up there, a strange thing, since Alex never shut his door. Jack swallowed and he shrugged lightly before knocking on the door. He heard the faint, muffled sounds of ‘come in’ and lightly pushed the door open, not ready at all for what he managed to walk into.
His beautiful Alex, his perfect, precious baby was lying in the bed, wrapped up in bandage after bandage. His hair was almost completely gone minus the bit of fuzz that was growing and one tiny chunk that surprisingly hadn’t been burned or cut off by the hospital. Luckily, though, Alex’s face wasn’t mangled, but that seemed to be the only part of him that hadn’t been attacked by the flames.
Jack swallowed thickly. This…this was all his fault. He wanted to run. Wanted to escape from the house and go find somewhere to puke up this nauseous feeling that was causing his stomach to churn madly. He could feel the bile in his throat and he tried to swallow it back, but he couldn’t manage to do so because of the lump in his throat. This was absolutely horrible and it was all his fault. It was all his fault.
Those brown eyes. Those gorgeous, enticing eyes of Alex’s managed to lock onto Jack’s and Jack could feel his entire body shake as he began to automatically step forward, heading over to sit on the corner of Alex’s bed and try to keep from crying; try to focus on apologizing. It took everything that Jack had to make himself go over to that bed, considering he just wanted to bolt, but he didn’t. He lightly sat down on the bed and swallowed once more before opening his mouth , trying to find the right words to speak.
“Alex, I-“
“Why didn’t you ever pick up?” Jack was taken aback by the question. Such a simple thing like that should have been easy to answer, but Jack couldn’t. The words that he had oh so carefully practiced to explain to Alex that he wouldn’t want to talk to the person who had unintentionally caused him to be a disfigured, constantly in pain mess. Instead, Jack just fell silent as he listened to Alex’s quite, grated voice struggle to get out the words that the boy wanted to say. “I called. Every day. You never picked up. Not once.” Jack swallowed and he looked down at his hands, feeling absolutely horrid for not answering the phone even a single time, but he had been scared. He had been so scared that if he answered that phone, he’d hear words from Alex that he never wanted to hear.
“Why?”
“I’m…Alex, I’m sorry,” he whispered. He could see hurt and pain on his disfigured boyfriend’s face and it killed him to know that he was the reason that it was there. “I thought that…well, I don’t know what I thought. I just wanted to do right by you and I guess that I didn’t. I’m so sorry.”
Jack could see tears in Alex’s eyes and he felt them in his own. He hated himself for what he had done to the boy, because not only had he ruined the most perfect being in existence, but he had gone and hurt him by not picking up. He had been too selfish himself, and Alex had paid the price of hurt over and over.
“I should hate you,” Alex choked out, starting to cry, and Jack’s heart began to break all over again as he watched. He wanted to reach forward and wipe the tears from Alex’s eyes; wanted to wrap his arms around the boy and apologize for every single time he didn’t pick up that phone, but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t let himself touch the boy after he had done so much to hurt him.
So it surprised Jack when Alex was reaching out to him and when Alex grabbed onto his hands, Jack was pretty sure he had stopped breathing. “I…I don’t though,” Alex whispered, closing his eyes as he loosely held Jack’s hands in his own. “I tried, tried to hate you, but I just can’t.”
Alex opened his eyes and he looked at Jack, a hint of a smile trying to get through the twisted, marred flesh that Jack was currently staring at in disbelief. “I love you too damn much, you slut.”
A watery smile spread to Jack’s lips as he weakly chuckled, trying to hide his shock. He didn’t understand how Alex could still love him after all that he had done, but it warmed his heart to know that his boyfriend didn’t hate him, didn’t want him dead or anything like that. “I love you too, Gaskank.” Jack could see Alex’s smile breaking through and soon, the two of them were laughing, Jack more than Alex since it was hard for the brunette to laugh.
Once they came down from the tiny high that they had managed, Jack reached out and he lightly ran his hand over the top of Alex’s head, feeling the soft fuzz of new growth beneath his fingertips. New growth; a new start. That’s what this was. This was Jack’s chance to do right by Alex, take care of him the way that he had neglected to before.
“You know, you look ridiculous,” Jack said with a small smile as he lightly tugged on the one bit of hair that Alex still had. “Can I cut this off so that you don’t look like so much of an adorable freak?”
Alex looked up at Jack for a moment. “Will I still be adorable?” he asked quietly, seriousness laced in his voice as he spoke.
“Alex,” Jack said as he smiled at him. “You’ll always be adorable to me.” And at this point, Jack couldn’t care less that Alex had burn scars all over his body and that he was missing his hair, because just seeing Alex smile made Jack know that he had the most beautiful boyfriend in the world.
And that was all he could ever ask for.