Comments | alien_writings: The Church and Its Orbs

alien_writings

The Church and Its Orbs - Why Not?

Aug 27, 2013 17:34

More The Church and Its Orbs experimental possibly-canon stuff. I hope you enjoy!

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“You know, I don’t see why I can’t have a drinking problem if I want,” Kai says. He doesn’t seem to be in pain anymore.

( 'What?' I mutter, putting a hand on my hip. )

pov: gemma, character: wren, series: the church and its orbs, trigger: substance abuse, rating: pg-13, character: gemma, character: kai, original fiction, character: brandon

Comments 5

pixiebelle August 28 2013, 20:26:45 UTC

I think you handled this really well. As always, the dialogue and the conversations between them all seemed very realistic. You're really good with creating realistic conversations, and it really shows in this story :)

alien_writings August 28 2013, 21:51:28 UTC

Yay, I'm glad you liked the dialogue and thought it was realistic. I often worry about getting realistic dialogue. I was told once that my dialogue was too exposition-y, and I worry that my characters sound stilted and not different enough from one another. I'm not one of those writers who hears their characters' voices in my head, so I can't just pick up speech patterns and stuff like that.

pixiebelle September 3 2013, 01:52:36 UTC

I like that Dean Marins comes into play more. I love her character, I remembered her from earlier stories and I was waiting to see what role she'd play in Gemma's life. She's another great character :)

pixiebelle September 3 2013, 01:59:27 UTC

My phone did something weird... I just realized that comment was supposed to be on another entry... I am not sure why it showed up here. I'm confused :/

I can't be on long since dinner is almost done, stupid LJ being stupid...

alien_writings September 3 2013, 02:23:35 UTC

I was confused, too, because Dean Marins doesn't even show up in this one! I'm glad you still like her character. I sometimes worry all my characters will sound the same.