An Endless Dark Tunnel

[alien_writings]

Here is a scene from my Gods and Shadow Creatures universe. In this one, I'm trying a different characterization for Isabel. Trigger warning for mentioned [click to reveal]rape.

---------“You two need to pretend to be human.” Maris glared at Egan and Nico. Her eyes were hard, and her face was dead serious as she stood there. “My old friend Clara has no love for

Comments

[pixiebelle]

I'm not that familiar with this particular universe, but this piece was really well written. The details and the dialogue were very well. It felt really clean editing wise and the characters were done really well.

The line about the woman he raped? If that doesn't draw a person into the story even more, I don't know what will. It makes you instantly wonder what that was all about.

[alien_writings]

If you're confused, it's not surprising. Not only is this a relatively unfamiliar universe for you, but I'm rewriting it and doing it in third person when it was originally in first person.

This is in the middle-ish of the story for extra Confusion Points(tm), though I'm not exactly sure where in the continuity it will end up being. I saw your advice about how to do redemption -- the redemption themes (sort of) in this chapter/section/what-have-you worried me, because I wasn't sure I was doing it right. But hopefully Nico's redemption will work out when the whole story is put together.

I'm glad you thought this was well-written. This particular story definitely works better in third person, even if I generally gravitate towards first person.