Comments | alien_writings: I Prefer the Mind Control Rewrite

alien_writings

I Prefer the Mind Control Rewrite - Chapter 23

Mar 03, 2013 09:24

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“Holy shit, your planet is a giant fucking rainbow,” I breathed. Swirls of various colors twisted and turned slowly, creating a fucking hypnotic effect. Seriously, it was hard to turn away from all the color.

( Still, I eventually turned to Xan excitedly, feeling a grin spread across my face. )

character: syra, character: firi, character: dylan, 500themes, pov: dylan, character: xan, pairing: xan/dylan, original fiction, series: i prefer the mind control

Comments 2

theun4givables March 3 2013, 22:51:12 UTC

Oh Xan. Xan Xan Xannnnn. You didn't TELL anyone? How the hell is Dylan not freaking the fuck out about that a bit more? Especially since Dylan has self-esteem issues. That had to have hurt just a little bit. I know he had a moment of reacting to it, but it kind of fell flat for me. He just went through a whole huge life change for this guy, only to find out that Xan never told anyone about him? Yeah, I think he needs to be more than just slightly annoyed at Xan about this.

I was amused by the conversation between Firi and Syra. I take it Firi has taken the Princess's stance on Zimaran sexual practices too, huh? Nice to see that. :)

alien_writings March 3 2013, 23:00:58 UTC

I did not expect Firi to take Princess Ayli's (at least version 1.0 Ayli's -- not sure what the Princess is going to be like in this version lol) stance on Zimaran sexual behavior. She did that all on her own -- I didn't tell her to be a Cultural Rebel of sorts. I don't know if Firi is completely asexual or only prefers one gender on a planet where (almost) Everyone Is Bi or just isn't promiscuous or just doesn't particularly care to have sex/a partner right now.

When I edit this (draft 3? lol this one is taking a lot of rewrites) Dylan will freak out more. I think he might actually freak out on Xan in the next chapter, at least? That might be what happens in the next chapter -- they get set up in Xan's Palace apartment and Dylan freaks out because Xan is even more clueless than Dylan is (which is not an easy feat).