Comments | alien_writings: I Prefer the Mind Control Rewrite

alien_writings

I Prefer the Mind Control Rewrite - Chapter 2

Jan 04, 2013 09:29

This is a rewrite of my I Prefer the Mind Control NaNo Novel. Here's hoping this version is more awesome!

previous chapter

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Xan, Jirrin and I sat around Xan’s dining room table, drinking the most fucking delicious coffee ever. Zimarans, they had good taste - at least the ones whose parents had mysterious government jobs did.

( 'Wow,' I breathed, not even sure *why* I said that. )

pairing: xan/dylan, character: jirrin, character: xan, character: preston, character: dylan, writerverse, series: i prefer the mind control

Comments 6

n3m3sis43 January 4 2013, 18:02:08 UTC

Hahaha, I enjoyed Jirrin's spit take at the beginning of this chapter. Oh, Xan. You've got some 'splaining to do. Dylan's attempt at analyzing Xan and his issues was amusing, too. Oh, Dylan. We've all been trying to figure that out. Let us know if you succeed. :D

Okaaaaay, Preston. I think you've had a little too much SynthBrew. And gee, I wonder why Dylan's "grab" technique failed to calm him down. Okay, no, I don't really wonder. I think this means that Xan should "borrow" Preston sometime and use him as a secondary plaything while also fucking Dylan. Then everyone will be happy, right? Preston and his "contacts" amused me, too. Are those like "friends" from the Splinternet?

This chapter amused me overall. Nice job.

alien_writings January 4 2013, 21:02:06 UTC

Xan, you do, indeed, have some serious 'splaining to do. Oh, Dylan, I've been trying to figure out Xan with no luck, and I'm his creator. If you do figure out what's up with that boy, do tell!

Oh Preston, your little crush is neither little nor hidden very well. You're so obvious even your girlfriend who probably exists realizes it and breaks up with you over it, should my story actually follow my outline. I do not, however, know if it IS going to follow the outline because stories often don't.

Preston's contacts? He won't tell me exactly who/what they even are. That's helpful, dude.

Also, it was Xan who did the spit take, not Jirrin.

theun4givables January 4 2013, 18:49:31 UTC

Oh, Xan. I do like that you're developing a bit more of a personality, here. And Jirrin, buddy. Love the spit-take. That was amazing.

Dylan, keep talking to the author as always. That's definitely a lot of fun to read. It really is. And awww, the ending of the chapter. Dylan, pretty sure you're allowed to hope now, dude. ;)

alien_writings January 4 2013, 20:40:34 UTC

Yay, Xan might actually have a personality this time, if I can keep up his personality-having over subsequent chapters. We shall seeeee!

Unless this story jumps off the deep end, Dylan, you're allowed to hope. You're definitely allowed to hope. ;)

pixiebelle January 9 2013, 06:02:49 UTC

I loved Jirrin's input here a lot. He added a bit of relief as well as helped push the conversation along. I liked his personality a lot, and could see myself really getting into his character. He was fun to read. Not that the others aren't, but I picked up on him early on and liked him.

I love how Dylan and Xan are together and I look forward to reading more of that. I like the way you left it open to hope at the end as well. I look forward to seeing what happens next!

winters_queen January 30 2013, 02:58:49 UTC

Okay I giggled at Xan having low self-esteem because he was a prince.