Comments | alien_writings: The Tomorrow Series Fanfiction: Who Will Lead Us?

alien_writings

The Tomorrow Series Fanfiction: Who Will Lead Us? - Chapter 3

Dec 13, 2012 12:06

This is the third chapter in a fanfiction of The Tomorrow Series by theun4givables. This chapter is NSFW.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

---------Mari blinked uncomfortably at all the cameras going off in front of the funeral home. Of course, the media would be all over Emperor King's death. While she hadn't been close to him like Savin had, she didn't think it was ( Read more... )

pairing: jazz/savin, fanfiction, hc_bingo, pairing: savin/mari, character: mari, nsfw (actual sexual content - really!), character: savin, character: jazz, fandom: the tomorrow trilogy

Comments 4

theun4givables December 13 2012, 17:15:10 UTC

I love that Mari figured it out -- and that she called Savin the hell out on his affair. Love that Savin initially tried to deny it but really just couldn't. How long did you think you were going to be able to boink Jazz without her knowing, dude? The two of you are so incredibly obvious -- the chemistry is palatable when you guys FIRST FUCKING MEET. It only got worse over time! She was gonna figure it out, lol.

The last chapter is just so fucking sad. The two of them really desperately love one another and have been making all of these terrible decisions but I still want things to end happily for them, somehow. Of course, I know what you have planned for them but this hurts, dude. I know you struggled with Jazz a bit, too. His characterization is a little harder, apparently. Oops. You did a good job, though. :)

alien_writings December 13 2012, 17:30:16 UTC

At first I planned to have Mari never figure it out, but that just wasn't happening. She's too damn smart for that. I can't really take the credit for her figuring it out because it seriously felt more like her idea.

Jazz really is harder to do, which is going to make things interesting since he gets more POVs as the story progresses. Maybe it'll get easier as I write more of him?

theun4givables December 13 2012, 19:54:37 UTC

Yeah, exactly. The characters will do that, at times. They like having the canon go their way, for the most part.

He is, and I think he will get easier for you. I've had him around for so long and I still sometimes have to sit and think of how he'd act. Like his interactions with Savin? I have those down to a science. Elsewhere? Noooot quite.

n3m3sis43 December 14 2012, 15:28:01 UTC

I know you didn't plan it this way, but I'm really glad Mari figured it out. She's a smart lady - even in the canon, she knows shit is up with Savin. To Savin's (small) credit, at least he didn't lie when she directly questioned him about it? Hahaha.

Oh, wow. I really liked the last section. You did a great job of capturing the heaviness and sadness and just the whole "I need to soak every detail in now because I am never going to see you again". I'm kind of glad you didn't go smuttier with it like you were originally wanting to because it was more powerful this way, I think.