Firefly Ficlet: Take Two Fuzzy Navels and Call Me in the Morning
Title: Take Two Fuzzy Navels and Call Me in the Morning
Author: alianora
Rating: PG
Summery: rinalin got drunk and begged me to write her Jayne. So, I gave Jayne some alcohol and walked him into a few things. And because ive been promising a couple of you, its jaylee. No River at all. None. This was very painful to me.
Jayne was watching the ramp.
It kept...moving.
But it wasn't going up, to lock him out. It was swaying kinda side to side.
And that weren't right.
He couldn't remember why it weren't right, at this very second, but some part of his brain was warning him that walking up that ramp might not be the smartest thing he has ever done.
So, he crawled up the gorram thing instead.
Which was going fine til he lost his balance anyway, and managed to cut his shoulder on a screw or something on the way down.
But he finally made it to the top, and cheered in triumph. Which came out sounding a little more like really drunken laughter.
But he weren't drunk. No matter that he now had to deal with the stairs, and the girl who was standing, looking awful amused, right square center of where he needed to go.
Which was alright, cause the stairs had knocked him down and he was now sprawled on the bottom step. Somehow. And damn it all, if that weren't the funniest thing ever.
Kaylee was a grinning at him, and then she was beside him, and he was awful glad the stairs hadn't gotten her too. Didn't want Kaylee falling down.
She was trying to haul him to his feet, which weren't going well. His boots had joined the stairs in being evil. Plus he outweighed her by half a ton or so.
"Stop that, girl," he slurred. "I can make it." He had just fallen back onto his backside, accidently taking Kaylee with him. She smelled good. Girly.
She just laughed. "No, you can't, you big idiot. Will you just lemme help?"
He grinned up at her, sprawled halfway cross his chest. "Nope."
She pouted at him. "Why not?"
"Cause I'd fall on you, and then you'd be squished. And squished girls can't fix stuff." He made a grab for the stair railing and started hauling himself up.
"Oh!" Her voice went from amused to concerned. "You're bleeding!"
"Ramp tricked me," he muttered from halfway up the railing. "It made me crawl, and then knocked me over anyway. Weren't fair."
Kaylee seemed to be trying not to laugh. Didn't make no sense, girl was always laughing. So why was she trying to stop? Jayne nearly missed the next step, and decided he weren't cut out for thinking. Made him dizzy.
"Come on." Kaylee was tugging at his arm, which weren't a good idea, as the floor had just stopped moving again. But he followed her to the infirmary, using the wall as a handy guide.
She pulled him into the sick bay, and tugged him down on one of the beds. "Get comfy, and take your shirt off."
Kaylee wanted him to take his shirt off. In the infirmary. Kinky. Next would be pants, but can't take your pants off while wearing your boots, so it shouldn't have surprised him to have pitched off head first onto the floor trying to untie the gorram things.
And now she was laughing. And had a handful of bandages.
Maybe it was good he hadn't managed to get his pants off. She could take them off for him later. After he got up off the floor. And maybe after the room stopped spinning.
But he didn't have no stair rails to pull himself up on this time, so he grabbed Kaylee's leg and the bottom of the bed and ended up pulling Kaylee down on top of him onto the bed.
But he still had pants on, and she was getting up and tugging at his shirt.
Right, shirt, then pants.
No. Shirt, then boots, then pants.
He went to try and untie his shoes again.
Kaylee shoved back on his shoulder. "Sit up, bozo. I gotta take a look at your shoulder."
Jayne glanced down and saw blood. Huh. That ramp was meaner than he thought.
But he held his hands up, and let her pull his shirt off over his head. While she was poking around, he smelled her hair again.
"So, what was you drinking that made you so fuzzy tonight, huh?" She held her tongue between her teeth as she carefully wiped off the little scratch with that anti-bacterial stuff.
"Dunno. It was fruity."
"Fruity?" She snickered. "You was drinking a fruity drink?"
"Seemed like a good idea," he told the top of her head. "Girl bought it for me, seemed rude not to drink it."
Kaylee hummed in acknowledgement as she stuck the bandage down tight.
He grinned at her, and fumbled in his pocket.
"I kept the umbrella."
Kaylee looked at the tiny umbrella in his hands with wide eyes. "You drank something with an umbrella?"
"Yep." He leaned back on the infirmary bed and twirled the little thing in his hands. "It looked like yours, a little, so I brought it back for you."
Kaylee smiled at him. Girl sure smiled alot. But she leaned down, and gorramitall if she didn't kiss him on the cheek.
Last thing he saw, before he passed out, was her tucking that little umbrella behind her ear.
END
Author: alianora
Rating: PG
Summery: rinalin got drunk and begged me to write her Jayne. So, I gave Jayne some alcohol and walked him into a few things. And because ive been promising a couple of you, its jaylee. No River at all. None. This was very painful to me.
Jayne was watching the ramp.
It kept...moving.
But it wasn't going up, to lock him out. It was swaying kinda side to side.
And that weren't right.
He couldn't remember why it weren't right, at this very second, but some part of his brain was warning him that walking up that ramp might not be the smartest thing he has ever done.
So, he crawled up the gorram thing instead.
Which was going fine til he lost his balance anyway, and managed to cut his shoulder on a screw or something on the way down.
But he finally made it to the top, and cheered in triumph. Which came out sounding a little more like really drunken laughter.
But he weren't drunk. No matter that he now had to deal with the stairs, and the girl who was standing, looking awful amused, right square center of where he needed to go.
Which was alright, cause the stairs had knocked him down and he was now sprawled on the bottom step. Somehow. And damn it all, if that weren't the funniest thing ever.
Kaylee was a grinning at him, and then she was beside him, and he was awful glad the stairs hadn't gotten her too. Didn't want Kaylee falling down.
She was trying to haul him to his feet, which weren't going well. His boots had joined the stairs in being evil. Plus he outweighed her by half a ton or so.
"Stop that, girl," he slurred. "I can make it." He had just fallen back onto his backside, accidently taking Kaylee with him. She smelled good. Girly.
She just laughed. "No, you can't, you big idiot. Will you just lemme help?"
He grinned up at her, sprawled halfway cross his chest. "Nope."
She pouted at him. "Why not?"
"Cause I'd fall on you, and then you'd be squished. And squished girls can't fix stuff." He made a grab for the stair railing and started hauling himself up.
"Oh!" Her voice went from amused to concerned. "You're bleeding!"
"Ramp tricked me," he muttered from halfway up the railing. "It made me crawl, and then knocked me over anyway. Weren't fair."
Kaylee seemed to be trying not to laugh. Didn't make no sense, girl was always laughing. So why was she trying to stop? Jayne nearly missed the next step, and decided he weren't cut out for thinking. Made him dizzy.
"Come on." Kaylee was tugging at his arm, which weren't a good idea, as the floor had just stopped moving again. But he followed her to the infirmary, using the wall as a handy guide.
She pulled him into the sick bay, and tugged him down on one of the beds. "Get comfy, and take your shirt off."
Kaylee wanted him to take his shirt off. In the infirmary. Kinky. Next would be pants, but can't take your pants off while wearing your boots, so it shouldn't have surprised him to have pitched off head first onto the floor trying to untie the gorram things.
And now she was laughing. And had a handful of bandages.
Maybe it was good he hadn't managed to get his pants off. She could take them off for him later. After he got up off the floor. And maybe after the room stopped spinning.
But he didn't have no stair rails to pull himself up on this time, so he grabbed Kaylee's leg and the bottom of the bed and ended up pulling Kaylee down on top of him onto the bed.
But he still had pants on, and she was getting up and tugging at his shirt.
Right, shirt, then pants.
No. Shirt, then boots, then pants.
He went to try and untie his shoes again.
Kaylee shoved back on his shoulder. "Sit up, bozo. I gotta take a look at your shoulder."
Jayne glanced down and saw blood. Huh. That ramp was meaner than he thought.
But he held his hands up, and let her pull his shirt off over his head. While she was poking around, he smelled her hair again.
"So, what was you drinking that made you so fuzzy tonight, huh?" She held her tongue between her teeth as she carefully wiped off the little scratch with that anti-bacterial stuff.
"Dunno. It was fruity."
"Fruity?" She snickered. "You was drinking a fruity drink?"
"Seemed like a good idea," he told the top of her head. "Girl bought it for me, seemed rude not to drink it."
Kaylee hummed in acknowledgement as she stuck the bandage down tight.
He grinned at her, and fumbled in his pocket.
"I kept the umbrella."
Kaylee looked at the tiny umbrella in his hands with wide eyes. "You drank something with an umbrella?"
"Yep." He leaned back on the infirmary bed and twirled the little thing in his hands. "It looked like yours, a little, so I brought it back for you."
Kaylee smiled at him. Girl sure smiled alot. But she leaned down, and gorramitall if she didn't kiss him on the cheek.
Last thing he saw, before he passed out, was her tucking that little umbrella behind her ear.
END