Syd/Vaughn Picspam of Doom: Season One
Depending on reaction to this part of the picspam, I may or may not be doing this for the rest of the seasons, so if you want to see more, comment and say so! I say this at the end, but I want to mention it now as well - these images are all hosted on my personal domain. DO NOT HOTLINK THEM. If you want to show them to other people, UPLOAD THEM TO YOUR OWN SERVER, FOR THE LOVE OF VAUGHN. Anyway, on to the spam...
Ah, Season One. In hot competition with Season Two for the title of my favorite season, season one is when we first met our heroes, when they had their first lingering glances, their first hug, broke their first rules, and screwed protocol (if not each other) to our everlasting delight. Season One brought us the bloodmobile, the observatory, and the flower stand. It was a great ride with an intense, albeit waterlogged, ending. So here goes, SVR S1, in 108 screencaps, many quotes, and much snark.
Since Vaughn doesn't show up until the end of the first episode, we're skipping all that stuff. You all know what happened anyway, right? Right.
So, our story begins when Sydney Bristow walks in to the CIA and gets put in a room to write and be babysat by Agents Vaughn and Weiss.
VAUGHN:
Well, this could be very interesting.
SYDNEY:
Does that mean I'm in?
VAUGHN:
No, not yet. They're reviewing your statement. You wrote a lot.
SYDNEY:
I know.
VAUGHN:
I mean, it's like Tolstoy long. Devlin says it could take weeks to verify. But I know we could use another double agent in SD-6.
(Sydney shakes her head.)
VAUGHN:
So I'll be in contact. I'm going to get you out of here, keep you concealed. Why are you shaking your head?
SYDNEY:
Because you said "another."
VAUGHN:
So?
SYDNEY:
So, if you really had one already you most likely wouldn't tell me until I was authenticated.
VAUGHN:
Unless I had an instinct about you.
SYDNEY:
My bet is you don't. Have another double.
VAUGHN:
We might.
SYDNEY:
But you want me to believe that you do so that on the off chance that I'm looking to be a triple agent, I'll report back there was an existing mole to upset the balance of my agency.
VAUGHN:
I'm not trying to play you.
SYDNEY:
Yeah. We'll see.
VAUGHN:
I have an instinct.
Well that's all well and good. Syd's in, Vaughn's her handler, and Syd has A Plan. She fully intends to single-handedly take down SD-6 in record time. Vaughn hates to burst her bubble, but...
VAUGHN:
Since I've been at the C.I.A., I've only seen this map grow. This is what you're in the middle of, Sydney. If shutting down the Los Angeles cell was all we were after, we would have raided that office three years ago. This is not about cutting off an arm of the monster. This is about killing the monster. And the work you have ahead of you - the work your father has been doing - it's complicated, it's political, and it is long term.
Bubble effectively burst, they settle into what will become routine - supposed-to-be-subtle meetings in public places that really end up being not-very-subtle, but whatever - with a meeting at a convienence store
VAUGHN:
That's it. Want a Slusho?
SYDNEY:
No, thank you.
VAUGHN:
They're delicious.
SYDNEY:
No, thanks. I said I was cold.
VAUGHN:
Good luck.
Speaking of settling into routines, Vaughn's already working on his routine of not sleeping whilst Sydney's away, and trusted buddy Weiss notices.
WEISS:
Any word from her yet?
VAUGHN:
No. I don't expect to hear anything 'til she gets back.
(Beat.)
WEISS:
Your girlfriend's name is Alice, right?
VAUGHN:
Would you shut up?
This is just a gorgeous cap. And also it's from an argument with Sydney about a nuclear bomb. No big.
Just when we're getting settled into all these routines, tragedy!
VAUGHN:
Be careful out there.
SYDNEY:
See you when I get back.
VAUGHN:
No, actually, you won't. Uh, I'm being replaced by a senior officer. It seems I wasn't experienced enough to be your handler.
Sydney does not think this is a good idea.
Neither does Vaughn.
WEISS:
You're starting to get a little too emotional about this.
VAUGHN:
Not this again...
WEISS:
You are. You are obviously attached to this woman-
VAUGHN:
This is your answer for everything!
WEISS:
If you were paying me to analyze you-
VAUGHN:
Shut up! Stop it!
WEISS:
I gotta tell you, I'd actually say that maybe you're a little jealous.
VAUGHN:
Of Lambert?! Give me a break! I mean, the guy may be senior (points to brain) but he's junior. Trust me.
WEISS:
And now he gets to see Sydney every week, and it's making you crazy.
Sydney also decides Lambert is junior in the head.
LAMBERT:
Who the hell do you think you're talking to?
SYDNEY:
I know exactly who I'm talking to. Tell Devlin if Agent Vaughn isn't on the other end of this earpiece when I turn it on, the C.I.A. gets nothing.
LAMBERT:
Vaughn is a junior officer.
SYDNEY:
Then promote him.
And so...
SYDNEY:
Who am I talking to?
VAUGHN:
Your invisible friend.
SYDNEY:
Good. Where are you?
VAUGHN:
Satellite relay station back in L.A., watching you from a two-hundred mile orbit.
SYDNEY:
My guardian angel.
VAUGHN:
I was going to say the same thing to you. Thanks for the promotion.
SYDNEY:
You're welcome.
Some other stuff happens, including a fight over some intel Syd wanted to fudge and Vaughn wouldn't let her and blah blah blah. Then they meet at a car wash.
SYDNEY:
Did you have a fight with your wife?
VAUGHN:
My what?
SYDNEY:
Your wife.
VAUGHN:
What wife? I have no wife.
SYDNEY:
No, there was a picture in your office. You and that woman. I thought you were married.
VAUGHN:
No. She and I are not remotely m- You thought I was married this whole time?
SYDNEY:
I guess so. What's the big deal?
VAUGHN:
Nothing. So when you get an idea on who he's meeting and/or details of that meeting, just call the usual number. Hit the eight key. We'll dead-drop in the trash can. Why did you ask me if I had a fight with my girlfriend?
SYDNEY:
I don't know. Did you?
VAUGHN:
Huge.
Hee. Sydney is happy that Vaughn isn't married (and that he's on the verge of breaking up with his girlfriend!), Vaughn is happy that Sydney cares. And oh, they plan some mission stuff too. But that's not what we're here for! So, a bunch of stuff happens and SpyDaddy drops the first of many parenting balls we'll see him drop over five years and someone died and Sydney needs a shoulder.
SYDNEY:
I'm sorry to call you, I just didn't know who else to call. My father and I were supposed to have dinner tonight. The first time since I was a kid. I can't even remember the last time. He just didn't show. He said he had work. He didn't have work. This isn't just about my dad. When I was in Morocco, the man who died... he was a friend of mine. He was a good man, who thought he was fighting for the right side, that he was working for the C.I.A.! He was lied to, and now he's dead. I had his blood on my hands!
VAUGHN:
Sydney...
SYDNEY:
I feel like I'm losing my mind! Like I don't even know who I am anymore, or what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it!
(Her pager suddenly beeps. Sydney grabs it, and throws it in the water below them. It splashes.)
VAUGHN:
You just threw your beeper in the Pacific.
SYDNEY:
I know...
VAUGHN:
Okay, listen to me. There's something you need to know. When you first walked into my office with that stupid Bozo hair, I thought you were crazy. I thought you might actually be a crazy person. But I watched you, and I read your statement, and I've seen... I've seen how you think, I've seen how you work, I've seen how you are. In this job, you see darkness, you see the worst in people. And though the jobs are different, and the missions change, and the enemies have a thousand names... the one crucial thing, the one real responsibility you have is to not let your rage, and your resentment, and your disgust darken you. When you're at your absolute lowest, at your most depressed, just remember that you can always... you know. You got my number.
Sigh. Anyway, some other stuff happens, Vaughn pulls Jack's files, Syd looks at them, missions come up, aaaaand...It's the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires! AKA something-or-other Self-Storage. But I like Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires better.
More mission stuff happens, they've got someone in a safe house and Sydney comes to visit.
VAUGHN:
This is a huge step in shutting down SD-6.
SYDNEY:
Nice.
HACKER:
It was Agent Vaughn's idea.
VAUGHN:
You look so surprised.
SYDNEY:
No, I...
VAUGHN:
Yes, it was my idea.
SYDNEY:
Amazing idea.
VAUGHN:
Thank you. I know.
Aww, Sydney is proud of Vaughn. Vaughn is happy. They smile their dimply smiles and we love them.
CIA MAN:
So, you're Bristow.
SYDNEY:
Yeah.
CIA MAN:
Vaughn's told me about you. He likes you.
SYDNEY:
Yeah?
CIA MAN:
Respects you.
Yeah, I just love that moment. Can't you see Vaughn briefing those guys, dimples flashing, forehead wrinkling, as he talks about Sydney? Plus Sydney totally preens over it. Too bad the moment is swiftly overshadowed by Dixon's scary efficiency and those guys' fiery death. *nods*
SYDNEY:
Those men died for no reason.
VAUGHN:
No. Those men died for their country.
(Sydney looks away, turning her back to him.)
VAUGHN:
Sydney, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Now Sydney's investigation into SpyDaddy's shady past is heating up and she thinks he may have been KGB. Vaughn offers to look into his file and asks her to wait to say anything.
I didn't wait and you don't understand because you don't know what it's like to have a parent die because of the spy biz so nyah.
VAUGHN:
There's a book back at Langley. They keep it locked up under glass, and behind it is a marble wall with stars carved in it. It's a memorial to the agents the company lost in action. Families are never told how they died, or even where. Only that they won't be coming home. I was eight when my father became one of those stars.
Oh.
So Sydney's put her foot in it again (surprise!), and feels bad. Rightly so! This cap really has nothing to do with SVR, but I don't care. It needs love.
Okay, back to the subject at hand. Missions happen, Sydney meets John Hannah, except his name here is Shephard and he killed Danny, she comes back and Thanksgiving happens and then meets with Vaughn in the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires.
VAUGHN:
Oh, how was your Thanksgiving?
SYDNEY:
Good. My friend got engaged.
SYDNEY:
How was yours?
VAUGHN:
Uh, typical. Spent it with my mom.
SYDNEY:
What about - is it Alice?
VAUGHN:
Yeah. We broke up.
Sydney loses the battle to not beam over that, while Vaughn looks at the ground to cover the fact that he's been waiting for the opportunity to work that one into conversation. I guess it's hard to fit in "I broke up with my girlfriend" between "your father might be KGB" and "by the way, Anna Espinosa's on your tail."
Meanwhile, SD-6 goes on a molehunt, which means Sydney has to learn how to lie really well. Vaughn will help! To the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires!
VAUGHN:
Are you romantically interested in anyone?
(Sydney gives him a look.)
VAUGHN:
Could be a question.
SYDNEY:
No, I'm not.
(The reading is nearly twice as high as it should be.)
VAUGHN:
Interesting.
SYDNEY:
Wait, ask me that again.
VAUGHN:
No, I don't have to. We have our answer right here. That's very good. Moving on.
Oh, Vaughn. You're not fooling any more people than Sydney is. More practice!
Except Sydney's more focused on a new lead in her investigation of Mommy's death and SpyDaddy's involvement than on her need to lie calmly.
Okay, okay, we'll check out the books with the codes. But let's not forget the Lie Detector Test of DOOM, okay? Okay.
Test happens, Syd's not exactly confident. Vaughn resists telling her she might have been more confident if she'd concentrated more on practicing and less on her devious daddy, but then he's a stronger person than I am. Instead, he looks pretty and concerned:
Syd won't go into witness protection, so she goes on her mission with Dixon as planned. Only Anna shows up, and Dix gets shot, and Syd uses a CIA sat phone and callsign, and thus hell is in the handbasket. Vaughn is picturesquely comforting once again.
VAUGHN:
He will make it?
SYDNEY:
We don't know that. Dixon was bleeding so much, I was afraid if I took my hand off his wound, he'd lose too much blood. So I used the satcom phone right in front of him.
VAUGHN:
You said he was barely conscious.
SYDNEY:
But he heard me. He repeated my code name twice. I'd suggest that you put operatives there just to be there when he regains consciousness.
VAUGHN:
But it's an SD-6 hospital. He will make it.
Syd's still worried about her test, and now she's got Dix and his memory to worry about. But no time to do all that worrying in, because she's got another mission and countermission to think about it. Good thing Vaughn and his forehead wrinkles are here to help with the worrying.
VAUGHN:
Attach it to the top of the SD-6 retrieval device. It'll copy whatever you get from Gerace's computer.
SYDNEY:
Okay.
VAUGHN:
Are you okay?
SYDNEY:
It was almost like [Sloane] was saying good-bye. Like he knew that I'm not coming back.
VAUGHN:
You're going to be okay. We'll get through this. Just contact me as soon as you get back.
SYDNEY:
I know, with his account numbers.
VAUGHN:
No, I mean, with or without the account. Just as soon as you get back.
SYDNEY:
Okay...
VAUGHN:
Okay?
SYDNEY:
Okay.
Okay, now that the word "okay" has lost all meaning thanks to excess use, let's move on. SD-6 did think Syd was the mole for a while, until suddenly they decided someone else was. Sydney and Vaughn discuss this, in the open at a flower stand/cafe thingy, because that's totally inconspicuous. Can we go to the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires now?
Pretty crazy about Russek, wonder if it was a setup.
SYDNEY:
Sorry that I called you on the weekend. It's just that I needed to talk to you.
VAUGHN:
You don't ever have to apologize for calling me. Speaking of which, I got you something.
SYDNEY:
What? No, you didn't.
VAUGHN:
I don't know. I was in this store, you know, um... this little antique place.
SYDNEY:
What were you doing in an antique store?
VAUGHN:
I don't know. Whatever. Um, look, if you don't like it just... don't tell me.
SYDNEY:
Okay.
VAUGHN:
Merry Christmas.
SYDNEY:
Merry Christmas.
Awww. So, these next few caps are in here because (a) they're pretty, and (b) it's the first time Vaughn really goes out of his way to bend the rules and help Syd with a non-SD-6 mission.
Hassan captured your father and is probably causing bodily harm as we speak.
Oh noes!
So Vaughn helps Syd get to Cuba to rescue SpyDaddy. Yay! Syd comes home from this trip feeling the father/daughter bonding vibes and riding the SpyDaddy love train (but don't we all ride that train?). Vaughn's not so much with her, he's more standing on the platform refusing to even wave as the train goes by. Why?
VAUGHN:
Those code names in your father's book... they were people. And they risked their lives - all of them - for this country. And yes, it might have been twenty-five years ago but for each of those lives lost, others were destroyed.
SYDNEY:
I know.
VAUGHN:
No, you don't know because you're not thinking about them, you're only thinking about yourself! You made a connection with your father for the first time in your life and turning him in would mean sacrificing that. I understand. But Sydney, we have proof. We know who the victims are. You're holding them in your hands and we know who the killer was and we both know the right thing to do.
SYDNEY:
Yes, my father probably got those orders from the books and yes, it looks like my father was responsible for those deaths but what youre asking me to do... I just need some time. Not a lot of time. Not forever. Just... please. You won't do anything about this without me?
So Vaughn does have some sneaky bones in his body. However, he doesn't seem to like them very much because the next time he sees Sydney he totally confesses. Now, I could make picspams of doom of the scene where he makes the tape and the scene where he gives it to her all by themselves. But I restrained myself. Still, this cap cannot be ignored.
Of course, he has revealed that his father was one of the agents killed, ostensibly, by SpyDaddy. After a death-defying mission, Syd and Vaughn meet in front of a music and/or DVD store.
VAUGHN:
You're amazing.
SYDNEY:
I am not amazing.
VAUGHN:
You sure you're ready to meet with Devlin?
SYDNEY:
Yeah.
I think The Confession is one of the most well-shot episodes in five years of filming. It is a joy to icon, I'll say that much. So much pretty! Anyway, on with the spam. They go to see Devlin, and to their shock, they find out that SpyDaddy wasn't KGB. Sydney's Mommy wasn't just Mommy, she was SpyMommy, and she was KGB and she killed Vaughn's dad. Oh, the angst!
Syd is understandably shook up over this. So where does she go? The Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires, of course! And into another one of the most fun to icon episodes, The Box (I & II). Oh, and did I mention that Syd and Vaughn hug?
SYDNEY:
Vaughn, I just wanted to say... that I'm so sorry.
Ahhhh. I think my first actual "squee" might have happened in that moment. [/nostalgia] Anyway, they extricate themselves from the hug offscreen while crazy Quentin Tarantino breaks into SD-6, and when we return to the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires, Sydney is talking crazy.
SYDNEY:
I need someone in my life to be real.
VAUGHN:
This right here. What we do is real.
SYDNEY:
Look where we are. I mean, this isn't real. This isn't what we should be doing. I want out.
VAUGHN:
Out?
(Sydney nods.)
VAUGHN:
You want to enter the protection program.
SYDNEY:
No. I'm not going into hiding.
VAUGHN:
If you don't, Sloane will kill you.
SYDNEY:
I don't think he will.
SYDNEY:
You like hockey, right? The Kings?
VAUGHN:
Yeah, how'd you-
SYDNEY:
The pen you keep in your briefcase. It's a Kings pen.
VAUGHN:
Yeah, I got that-
SYDNEY:
They're playing the Islanders next week. We should go.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Most Beautiful Cap in the History of Alias. Unfortunately, a second later his face falls as he remembers that Sydney is talking crazy. Oh well, at least he gets to kick someone's ass when he gets tattled on for giving Sydney that Christmas present.
VAUGHN:
Did it make you feel better about yourself, telling Barnett I got Sydney a Christmas gift?
HALADKI:
You're too emotionally attached to that woman!
VAUGHN:
Oh, like you would know anything about being emotionally attached to a woman!
HALADKI:
I think your judgement's impaired!
VAUGHN:
I think I'm gonna kick your ass!
Oh, Vaughn. Would that you had. Too bad Weiss interrupted. Meanwhile, Syd's in deep doo-doo over at invaded-SD-6. Vaughn figures this out when Dix calls for help. Despite Haladki-the-weasel's successful attempt to block official intervention, Vaughn can't stay away.
VAUGHN:
If I'm not back in a couple of hours, I'm probably dead.
WEISS:
Good to know.
So Vaughn, now making his first real appearance as Action!Vaughn, goes to SD-6, immediately is assured that something is indeed wrong, and then creeps around until he runs into Sydney.
SYDNEY:
What the hell are you doing here?
VAUGHN:
Dixon contacted us. What the hell's going on?
Explanations, Tarantino's nuts, and hey, what do you know about C-4?
VAUGHN:
There's got to be two hundred pounds in here. Damn. That's enough to level the building.
SYDNEY:
It's a failsafe. Sloane has three of these-
VAUGHN:
Three?!
SYDNEY:
-rigged to the vault. If the vault doors open, they all blow.
VAUGHN:
Maybe they shouldn't open the vault.
SYDNEY:
"They" being the six men with machine guns?
VAUGHN:
How long before they hack the code?
SYDNEY:
Soon. Did you study bomb defusion at Langley?
VAUGHN:
Just seminars, though. Nothing field-specific.
SYDNEY:
Does anyone ever learn anything in seminars?
VAUGHN:
Let's just take this one step at a time. This is a charge of C-4. I can tell, 'cause it says "C-4" everywhere.
Action!Vaughn is so clever. So, clever Action!Vaughn and steady-handed Sydney deactivate the first charge of C-4, and then decide to split up to take care of the other two, because that will take less time. And thus we are treated to this lovely cap:
VAUGHN:
The storage room where I got in. That's where we'll meet.
SYDNEY:
Then maybe we can go to that hockey game.
VAUGHN:
Maybe. Be careful.
SYDNEY:
You, too.
But alas, after bringing down Crazy Tarantino and keeping SD-6 from blowing up, all without anyone knowing the CIA cavalry was even there...
SYDNEY:
What is that, perfume?
VAUGHN:
Whatever it is, we have it now and they don't. Because of you.
SYDNEY:
Not just me.
VAUGHN:
Because of you.
SYDNEY:
Well, it'd better be good perfume.
VAUGHN:
I'm not kidding. Think about it. What you do. Hockey can wait. I don't think what you're doing here can.
Oh, Vaughn. You are so pretty, it almost hurts. Speaking of pretty, it's another scene I could give its own picspam, the train car scene from The Coup. Sweet! And the countermission the meeting is supposedly about only gets about two seconds of the scene. Even sweeter!
SYDNEY:
I just wanted to rip his finger right off again.
(Vaughn chuckles.)
SYDNEY:
Does that make me a bad person?
VAUGHN:
No. That might have blown your cover.
SYDNEY:
You think?
VAUGHN:
Yeah. Look, you'll tag Dahlgren in Vegahs. When SD-6 gets more specifics about the meeting, we'll figure out what our next move is.
SYDNEY:
Did the guy from your office end up reporting you?
VAUGHN:
Haladki? Yeah, he did. But Devlin only slapped me on the wrist. Even though going into SD-6 without clearance wasn't exactly constitutional.
VAUGHN:
I was kind of hoping he'd get nailed for snitching but I guess we kind of broke even on this one. Are you okay?
SYDNEY:
It's nothing. I'm just a little bruised.
VAUGHN:
Oh. You can't really tell.
SYDNEY:
That's because I'm wearing, like, a pound of cover-up.
So Syd goes on a mission and comes back and blah blah blah, we're once again meeting awkwardly in public - I swear, how is this supposed to be covert, I ask you? Oh, well, Sloane never caught them, so I suppose it doesn't matter. Besides, we've suspended disbelief for a heck of a lot more *cough*Rambaldi*cough*, so it ought to be easy to let it slide. Um, where was I? Oh, yes. Observatory.
VAUGHN:
Last week, when you talked about quitting SD-6-
SYDNEY:
I was being naive.
VAUGHN:
No, but, um, what you said about wanting to go to a hockey game... wanting me to be part of your life... I, uh, I think I wasn't clear about something... That it would be nice to be in public with you, to actually get to look at you. Grab a pizza or go to a hockey game. I just... I wasn't clear that I would really like that, too.
Yay!
Sydney gets to go to Sloane's for dinner so she can plant a bug in his study, and she gets to bring a date!
VAUGHN:
You said Emily invited you and a friend.
SYDNEY:
Mm-hmm.
VAUGHN:
You taking anyone?
*wishes he could be the guest*
Sydney meets with him again to get her optech pre-dinner...
VAUGHN:
You look really pretty.
SYDNEY:
Thanks.
And now, my favorite part. I think. If I could pick a favorite part, that is. I'm not really sure I can. But if I could, I think this would be it. Maybe. Because really, only Michael Vartan could make the following exchange sexy.
VAUGHN:
You're going to break into the Vatican?!
SYDNEY:
The last thing I'm going to do while DSR is waiting for test results to prove I'm guilty of something I don't even understand is sit on my ass.
VAUGHN:
But the Vatican!
SYDNEY:
The secret archives. All I have is an inventory number. They don't know the form the code key is in and it's Rambaldi, so it could be anything. I called you because I need a partner for this op. Someone I can trust.
VAUGHN:
We'd have to fly out separately, undercover...
SYDNEY:
Different airports in Italy.
VAUGHN:
Meet up in Rome.
SYDNEY:
We'd have to leave tonight. You in?
VAUGHN:
Yeah. I'll break into the Vatican with you.
And I am only mildly ashamed to admit that when I myself went to the Vatican, I did keep hearing that line in my head every so often throughout the day. So they break into the Vatican together, and "Hate to Say I Told You So" plays and it is fun, Sydney finds out that Vaughn knew Kobe Bryant was named after a steak and that Vaughn's favorite restaurant is Trattoria di Nardi, which I'm still kicking myself for not checking to make sure was fake while I was in Rome. Speaking of the Trattoria di Nardi...
VAUGHN:
And they agreed to wait on decryption before taking any action. So why don't you go home and relax. This insanity's almost over. Next time we're in Rome, Trattoria di Nardi.
SYDNEY:
I'd like that.
Oh, Syd. So would we. But first you must be abducted by the FBI and then saved by Vaughn's brilliant plan to send you back to Italy to Alias' giant-sized version of Assisi's Mt Subasio. Which I geeked out over despite its disparity from Alias' version. Also, Jack calls Sydney "honey." Hee. And awwww.
VAUGHN:
Are you all right?
SYDNEY:
You didn't think about it. Not once. The possibility that Rambaldi could be right about me.
VAUGHN:
No. I didn't.
SYDNEY:
Why not?
VAUGHN:
Because I believe in you. Do you think I'd just throw anyone in my trunk?
Now comes the part of the season I'm pretty sure is almost universally disliked, certainly among S/V-ers, but I'm pretty sure very few people that I'm aware of actually truly enjoyed Peter "Mush Mouth" Berg's guest role. At any rate, Sydney meets an old flame and for some reason uses him to try and defuse some of the UST she's built up with Vaughn. Silly, silly girl.
SYDNEY:
We actually dated for a while.
VAUGHN:
Really.
SYDNEY:
We kept it under the radar. SD-6 discourages, you know, fraternization among agents.
VAUGHN:
So does the CIA.
We are so not going to talk about what happens in the space between Masquerade and Snowman, because...I don't want to and it's not part of this picspam. So there. Syd goes off on a mission *cough* with Noah, and some other stuff happens in the search for Khasinau/SpyMommy, and Syd and Vaughn meet once again in the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires for a little argument.
This is really dangerous and you shouldn't be doing it, and your countermission is this, but I know you're not going to do it and I'm mad at you.
I don't care.
And then the inevitable happens and Noah is eeeeeevil, and Sydney is saaaaad, and who does she lean on but the very man she tossed aside. And he lets her, because he is made of awesome.
SYDNEY:
I killed a man... someone I cared about.
VAUGHN:
Noah Hicks was an assassin. If you hadn't killed him, he would have killed you.
SYDNEY:
Maybe. But I was the one who forced the fight.
VAUGHN:
Hicks was a bad guy.
SYDNEY:
I got into this to bring them down and now I feel like I'm on their side.
VAUGHN:
This is the world of SD-6 when we started. Remember?
(Sydney can only nod with tears in her eyes. Vaughn flips over a transparent cover that reveals who's been taken out since he first showed it to her. Little red circles with a slice through it are over the map.)
VAUGHN:
And here is what it looks like today. And this doesn't even take into account things like Badenweiler or stealing page forty-seven from Sloane's vault. Or the way you kept Khasinau from getting his hands on that ampule. Sydney, these are incredible accomplishments.
SYDNEY:
Khasinau is out there somewhere.
VAUGHN:
Yes.
SYDNEY:
My mom is out there.
VAUGHN:
We will find them.
And then he gives her an ice pack for her bloody fingers and tells her to take care of herself, but I couldn't find good screencaps of that. But it bears mentioning because it was awesome. In the continued search for Khasinau and SpyMommy, Action!Vaughn makes yet another appearance (aww, remember how it was in S1 when that was actually a rare and special occurance? Not that I didn't love having it every week, but its rarity in S1 somehow made it all the more special...), and he and Sydney go to somewhere with an orange filter.
And there we see Action!Vaughn winding up his first of many enjoyable confrontations with Sark by leaving him simply handcuffed to a gate so that he (Action!Vaughn, that is) can go and rescue Sydney. Can we blame him for his priority list? I don't think so, though Weiss certainly seems to do so.
VAUGHN:
Look, Sydney's my responsibility--
WEISS:
Mike, I'm not going to trivialize your relationship with her by calling it a crush-
VAUGHN:
A crush?
WEISS:
But whatever it is, it's starting to affect me and if that sounds selfish to you, I was hoping to retire fully vested. I know you genuinely care for her. I do, too. But there is a line that we have been sworn not to cross. We're about a mile past that.
VAUGHN:
I don't know how to be Sydney's handler without making it personal.
WEISS:
Figure out a way.
Oh Weiss. At least you became as hardcore a shipper as the rest of us later. So we'll forgive you for this slight infraction. Syd and Vaughn have a slightly awkward meeting in the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires in which Vaughn fruitlessly attempts to be impartial. Ha, like that will last.
It doesn't, because Will, who was still the Willage Idiot back then (and thank God he got cooler, except for that one S3 episode where my eyes got burned by the one-night stand of doom, but whatever), gets all up in the spy business and Sydney needs a shoulder to cry on again, and Vaughn can't resist the sad eyes.
SYDNEY:
He is my friend. He is, like, one of my best friends.
VAUGHN:
I understand that.
SYDNEY:
No, you don't. You get to tell your friends that you work for the CIA while I go home and look desperately for a tiny moment that I can be honest with anyone about anything. Now that Will knows the truth... he's never going to trust me again. You should have seen his face in Paris. It was like he was looking at a stranger.
VAUGHN:
But he wasn't. He was looking at you. Maybe for the first time, he was looking at you.
Well, when you put it that way...
But Will gets into even deeper doo-doo, and the CIA doesn't want to rescue him, and SD-6 wants to kill him, and Sydney tries to make Vaughn think she isn't up to something.
He doesn't believe her. Smart boy, that Vaughn. Meanwhile, Jack and Syd go behind everyone's back to try and rescue poor hapless Willage, and even though Vaughn is waylaid by Devin, Weiss, and Haladki (who still ends up rendered unable to wear a hat by Jack), he still finds the time to hunt down Sydney. This would be another one of those moments in competition for that favorite spot that I can't ever actually choose.
SYDNEY:
How did you find me?
VAUGHN:
You told me a couple of months ago that when you feel the need to disappear, you go to the observatory. But the observatory was closed. And then I remembered you said the pier calms you down. But you weren't there. And you weren't at the bluffs and the palisades, either.
SYDNEY:
You didn't really go to all those places.
VAUGHN:
Yeah, I did. And then I remembered you liked the train station, too. Normal people going to their normal jobs.
SYDNEY:
I can't believe you remember that.
VAUGHN:
He's contacted you, hasn't he? Khasinau? And he wants the page. You're going to give it to him.
SYDNEY:
You came here to stop me.
VAUGHN:
My father used to keep a diary and when I was a kid I used to say, "Hey, Dad, only girls keep diaries," and he'd just laugh. He was a really good guy, my dad. Yeah. But he was too hard on himself. I mean, he was such a company guy that whenever he slipped up even in the slightest way he took it so personally. There were a few operations - his last one among them - that he questioned. Operations he refused to participate in. But only in his diary. He'd write out what he wanted to say to the CIA director. I mean, things he could never say in real life. He was a company man, and I loved him very much. But it killed him, never questioning orders. His blind devotion to the job. If you're doing what I think you're doing, I'm in if you need me.
SYDNEY:
Thank you.
Sigh. Oh, the awesome. I need a moment. ... ... Okay, back. So Syd and Vaughn go to Taipei and dress up like punks. Now, while Syd ends up with blue hair and ridiculously dark red lipstick, Vaughn just ends up with really sexy bed hair and an even sexier leather jacket. And thousands of Vartan Hos hit the floor and almost miss the rest of the finale. There was the great big splash of water, though...
Anyway, they hit this club in Taipei and some guy starts moving in on Sydney.
And there is no dialogue, but Vaughn does this awesome "what the fuck, bitch, get away from my woman" face and shove and it is fabulous. The Vartan Hos hit the floor again, and Sydney giggles.
See? Giggles!
And then they get down to business to go after the MacGuffin and destroy the lab.
SYDNEY:
Vaughn, it's bigger than I thought.
VARTAN:
I'd just like to point out, she said 'Vaughn, it's bigger than I thought.'
Oh, that commentary track is awesome. Also included is Vartan's imitation of Victor Garber "I hate props" and lots of other fun stuff. Vartan should comment on all the episodes, seriously.
Where was I? Oh, right, the MacGuffin was bigger than they thought. Syd blows it up anyway, unleashing a disproportionate amount of water into the building. I mean, honestly, the Big Red Ball of Doom fit into the room it was in, therefore the water inside of it should have as well. MORE TEQUILA!
And so we are left to spend the summer wondering why Vaughn didn't run and exactly how good of a swimmer he really is.
And oh yeah, SpyMommy's the Man. But whatever. VAUGHN!
To be continued...?
THIS PICSPAM BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
- Original screencaps by myself, Two Evil Monks, and Spy-Caps.com
- All screencap editing by myself (surrexi)
- Transcripts by Twiz TV
- Images hosted on my personal domain (don't hotlink!)
- Beta-ing/tips from my lovely flist
Ah, Season One. In hot competition with Season Two for the title of my favorite season, season one is when we first met our heroes, when they had their first lingering glances, their first hug, broke their first rules, and screwed protocol (if not each other) to our everlasting delight. Season One brought us the bloodmobile, the observatory, and the flower stand. It was a great ride with an intense, albeit waterlogged, ending. So here goes, SVR S1, in 108 screencaps, many quotes, and much snark.
Since Vaughn doesn't show up until the end of the first episode, we're skipping all that stuff. You all know what happened anyway, right? Right.
So, our story begins when Sydney Bristow walks in to the CIA and gets put in a room to write and be babysat by Agents Vaughn and Weiss.
VAUGHN:
Well, this could be very interesting.
SYDNEY:
Does that mean I'm in?
VAUGHN:
No, not yet. They're reviewing your statement. You wrote a lot.
SYDNEY:
I know.
VAUGHN:
I mean, it's like Tolstoy long. Devlin says it could take weeks to verify. But I know we could use another double agent in SD-6.
(Sydney shakes her head.)
VAUGHN:
So I'll be in contact. I'm going to get you out of here, keep you concealed. Why are you shaking your head?
SYDNEY:
Because you said "another."
VAUGHN:
So?
SYDNEY:
So, if you really had one already you most likely wouldn't tell me until I was authenticated.
VAUGHN:
Unless I had an instinct about you.
SYDNEY:
My bet is you don't. Have another double.
VAUGHN:
We might.
SYDNEY:
But you want me to believe that you do so that on the off chance that I'm looking to be a triple agent, I'll report back there was an existing mole to upset the balance of my agency.
VAUGHN:
I'm not trying to play you.
SYDNEY:
Yeah. We'll see.
VAUGHN:
I have an instinct.
Well that's all well and good. Syd's in, Vaughn's her handler, and Syd has A Plan. She fully intends to single-handedly take down SD-6 in record time. Vaughn hates to burst her bubble, but...
VAUGHN:
Since I've been at the C.I.A., I've only seen this map grow. This is what you're in the middle of, Sydney. If shutting down the Los Angeles cell was all we were after, we would have raided that office three years ago. This is not about cutting off an arm of the monster. This is about killing the monster. And the work you have ahead of you - the work your father has been doing - it's complicated, it's political, and it is long term.
Bubble effectively burst, they settle into what will become routine - supposed-to-be-subtle meetings in public places that really end up being not-very-subtle, but whatever - with a meeting at a convienence store
VAUGHN:
That's it. Want a Slusho?
SYDNEY:
No, thank you.
VAUGHN:
They're delicious.
SYDNEY:
No, thanks. I said I was cold.
VAUGHN:
Good luck.
Speaking of settling into routines, Vaughn's already working on his routine of not sleeping whilst Sydney's away, and trusted buddy Weiss notices.
WEISS:
Any word from her yet?
VAUGHN:
No. I don't expect to hear anything 'til she gets back.
(Beat.)
WEISS:
Your girlfriend's name is Alice, right?
VAUGHN:
Would you shut up?
This is just a gorgeous cap. And also it's from an argument with Sydney about a nuclear bomb. No big.
Just when we're getting settled into all these routines, tragedy!
VAUGHN:
Be careful out there.
SYDNEY:
See you when I get back.
VAUGHN:
No, actually, you won't. Uh, I'm being replaced by a senior officer. It seems I wasn't experienced enough to be your handler.
Sydney does not think this is a good idea.
Neither does Vaughn.
WEISS:
You're starting to get a little too emotional about this.
VAUGHN:
Not this again...
WEISS:
You are. You are obviously attached to this woman-
VAUGHN:
This is your answer for everything!
WEISS:
If you were paying me to analyze you-
VAUGHN:
Shut up! Stop it!
WEISS:
I gotta tell you, I'd actually say that maybe you're a little jealous.
VAUGHN:
Of Lambert?! Give me a break! I mean, the guy may be senior (points to brain) but he's junior. Trust me.
WEISS:
And now he gets to see Sydney every week, and it's making you crazy.
Sydney also decides Lambert is junior in the head.
LAMBERT:
Who the hell do you think you're talking to?
SYDNEY:
I know exactly who I'm talking to. Tell Devlin if Agent Vaughn isn't on the other end of this earpiece when I turn it on, the C.I.A. gets nothing.
LAMBERT:
Vaughn is a junior officer.
SYDNEY:
Then promote him.
And so...
SYDNEY:
Who am I talking to?
VAUGHN:
Your invisible friend.
SYDNEY:
Good. Where are you?
VAUGHN:
Satellite relay station back in L.A., watching you from a two-hundred mile orbit.
SYDNEY:
My guardian angel.
VAUGHN:
I was going to say the same thing to you. Thanks for the promotion.
SYDNEY:
You're welcome.
Some other stuff happens, including a fight over some intel Syd wanted to fudge and Vaughn wouldn't let her and blah blah blah. Then they meet at a car wash.
SYDNEY:
Did you have a fight with your wife?
VAUGHN:
My what?
SYDNEY:
Your wife.
VAUGHN:
What wife? I have no wife.
SYDNEY:
No, there was a picture in your office. You and that woman. I thought you were married.
VAUGHN:
No. She and I are not remotely m- You thought I was married this whole time?
SYDNEY:
I guess so. What's the big deal?
VAUGHN:
Nothing. So when you get an idea on who he's meeting and/or details of that meeting, just call the usual number. Hit the eight key. We'll dead-drop in the trash can. Why did you ask me if I had a fight with my girlfriend?
SYDNEY:
I don't know. Did you?
VAUGHN:
Huge.
Hee. Sydney is happy that Vaughn isn't married (and that he's on the verge of breaking up with his girlfriend!), Vaughn is happy that Sydney cares. And oh, they plan some mission stuff too. But that's not what we're here for! So, a bunch of stuff happens and SpyDaddy drops the first of many parenting balls we'll see him drop over five years and someone died and Sydney needs a shoulder.
SYDNEY:
I'm sorry to call you, I just didn't know who else to call. My father and I were supposed to have dinner tonight. The first time since I was a kid. I can't even remember the last time. He just didn't show. He said he had work. He didn't have work. This isn't just about my dad. When I was in Morocco, the man who died... he was a friend of mine. He was a good man, who thought he was fighting for the right side, that he was working for the C.I.A.! He was lied to, and now he's dead. I had his blood on my hands!
VAUGHN:
Sydney...
SYDNEY:
I feel like I'm losing my mind! Like I don't even know who I am anymore, or what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it!
(Her pager suddenly beeps. Sydney grabs it, and throws it in the water below them. It splashes.)
VAUGHN:
You just threw your beeper in the Pacific.
SYDNEY:
I know...
VAUGHN:
Okay, listen to me. There's something you need to know. When you first walked into my office with that stupid Bozo hair, I thought you were crazy. I thought you might actually be a crazy person. But I watched you, and I read your statement, and I've seen... I've seen how you think, I've seen how you work, I've seen how you are. In this job, you see darkness, you see the worst in people. And though the jobs are different, and the missions change, and the enemies have a thousand names... the one crucial thing, the one real responsibility you have is to not let your rage, and your resentment, and your disgust darken you. When you're at your absolute lowest, at your most depressed, just remember that you can always... you know. You got my number.
Sigh. Anyway, some other stuff happens, Vaughn pulls Jack's files, Syd looks at them, missions come up, aaaaand...It's the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires! AKA something-or-other Self-Storage. But I like Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires better.
More mission stuff happens, they've got someone in a safe house and Sydney comes to visit.
VAUGHN:
This is a huge step in shutting down SD-6.
SYDNEY:
Nice.
HACKER:
It was Agent Vaughn's idea.
VAUGHN:
You look so surprised.
SYDNEY:
No, I...
VAUGHN:
Yes, it was my idea.
SYDNEY:
Amazing idea.
VAUGHN:
Thank you. I know.
Aww, Sydney is proud of Vaughn. Vaughn is happy. They smile their dimply smiles and we love them.
CIA MAN:
So, you're Bristow.
SYDNEY:
Yeah.
CIA MAN:
Vaughn's told me about you. He likes you.
SYDNEY:
Yeah?
CIA MAN:
Respects you.
Yeah, I just love that moment. Can't you see Vaughn briefing those guys, dimples flashing, forehead wrinkling, as he talks about Sydney? Plus Sydney totally preens over it. Too bad the moment is swiftly overshadowed by Dixon's scary efficiency and those guys' fiery death. *nods*
SYDNEY:
Those men died for no reason.
VAUGHN:
No. Those men died for their country.
(Sydney looks away, turning her back to him.)
VAUGHN:
Sydney, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Now Sydney's investigation into SpyDaddy's shady past is heating up and she thinks he may have been KGB. Vaughn offers to look into his file and asks her to wait to say anything.
I didn't wait and you don't understand because you don't know what it's like to have a parent die because of the spy biz so nyah.
VAUGHN:
There's a book back at Langley. They keep it locked up under glass, and behind it is a marble wall with stars carved in it. It's a memorial to the agents the company lost in action. Families are never told how they died, or even where. Only that they won't be coming home. I was eight when my father became one of those stars.
Oh.
So Sydney's put her foot in it again (surprise!), and feels bad. Rightly so! This cap really has nothing to do with SVR, but I don't care. It needs love.
Okay, back to the subject at hand. Missions happen, Sydney meets John Hannah, except his name here is Shephard and he killed Danny, she comes back and Thanksgiving happens and then meets with Vaughn in the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires.
VAUGHN:
Oh, how was your Thanksgiving?
SYDNEY:
Good. My friend got engaged.
SYDNEY:
How was yours?
VAUGHN:
Uh, typical. Spent it with my mom.
SYDNEY:
What about - is it Alice?
VAUGHN:
Yeah. We broke up.
Sydney loses the battle to not beam over that, while Vaughn looks at the ground to cover the fact that he's been waiting for the opportunity to work that one into conversation. I guess it's hard to fit in "I broke up with my girlfriend" between "your father might be KGB" and "by the way, Anna Espinosa's on your tail."
Meanwhile, SD-6 goes on a molehunt, which means Sydney has to learn how to lie really well. Vaughn will help! To the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires!
VAUGHN:
Are you romantically interested in anyone?
(Sydney gives him a look.)
VAUGHN:
Could be a question.
SYDNEY:
No, I'm not.
(The reading is nearly twice as high as it should be.)
VAUGHN:
Interesting.
SYDNEY:
Wait, ask me that again.
VAUGHN:
No, I don't have to. We have our answer right here. That's very good. Moving on.
Oh, Vaughn. You're not fooling any more people than Sydney is. More practice!
Except Sydney's more focused on a new lead in her investigation of Mommy's death and SpyDaddy's involvement than on her need to lie calmly.
Okay, okay, we'll check out the books with the codes. But let's not forget the Lie Detector Test of DOOM, okay? Okay.
Test happens, Syd's not exactly confident. Vaughn resists telling her she might have been more confident if she'd concentrated more on practicing and less on her devious daddy, but then he's a stronger person than I am. Instead, he looks pretty and concerned:
Syd won't go into witness protection, so she goes on her mission with Dixon as planned. Only Anna shows up, and Dix gets shot, and Syd uses a CIA sat phone and callsign, and thus hell is in the handbasket. Vaughn is picturesquely comforting once again.
VAUGHN:
He will make it?
SYDNEY:
We don't know that. Dixon was bleeding so much, I was afraid if I took my hand off his wound, he'd lose too much blood. So I used the satcom phone right in front of him.
VAUGHN:
You said he was barely conscious.
SYDNEY:
But he heard me. He repeated my code name twice. I'd suggest that you put operatives there just to be there when he regains consciousness.
VAUGHN:
But it's an SD-6 hospital. He will make it.
Syd's still worried about her test, and now she's got Dix and his memory to worry about. But no time to do all that worrying in, because she's got another mission and countermission to think about it. Good thing Vaughn and his forehead wrinkles are here to help with the worrying.
VAUGHN:
Attach it to the top of the SD-6 retrieval device. It'll copy whatever you get from Gerace's computer.
SYDNEY:
Okay.
VAUGHN:
Are you okay?
SYDNEY:
It was almost like [Sloane] was saying good-bye. Like he knew that I'm not coming back.
VAUGHN:
You're going to be okay. We'll get through this. Just contact me as soon as you get back.
SYDNEY:
I know, with his account numbers.
VAUGHN:
No, I mean, with or without the account. Just as soon as you get back.
SYDNEY:
Okay...
VAUGHN:
Okay?
SYDNEY:
Okay.
Okay, now that the word "okay" has lost all meaning thanks to excess use, let's move on. SD-6 did think Syd was the mole for a while, until suddenly they decided someone else was. Sydney and Vaughn discuss this, in the open at a flower stand/cafe thingy, because that's totally inconspicuous. Can we go to the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires now?
Pretty crazy about Russek, wonder if it was a setup.
SYDNEY:
Sorry that I called you on the weekend. It's just that I needed to talk to you.
VAUGHN:
You don't ever have to apologize for calling me. Speaking of which, I got you something.
SYDNEY:
What? No, you didn't.
VAUGHN:
I don't know. I was in this store, you know, um... this little antique place.
SYDNEY:
What were you doing in an antique store?
VAUGHN:
I don't know. Whatever. Um, look, if you don't like it just... don't tell me.
SYDNEY:
Okay.
VAUGHN:
Merry Christmas.
SYDNEY:
Merry Christmas.
Awww. So, these next few caps are in here because (a) they're pretty, and (b) it's the first time Vaughn really goes out of his way to bend the rules and help Syd with a non-SD-6 mission.
Hassan captured your father and is probably causing bodily harm as we speak.
Oh noes!
So Vaughn helps Syd get to Cuba to rescue SpyDaddy. Yay! Syd comes home from this trip feeling the father/daughter bonding vibes and riding the SpyDaddy love train (but don't we all ride that train?). Vaughn's not so much with her, he's more standing on the platform refusing to even wave as the train goes by. Why?
VAUGHN:
Those code names in your father's book... they were people. And they risked their lives - all of them - for this country. And yes, it might have been twenty-five years ago but for each of those lives lost, others were destroyed.
SYDNEY:
I know.
VAUGHN:
No, you don't know because you're not thinking about them, you're only thinking about yourself! You made a connection with your father for the first time in your life and turning him in would mean sacrificing that. I understand. But Sydney, we have proof. We know who the victims are. You're holding them in your hands and we know who the killer was and we both know the right thing to do.
SYDNEY:
Yes, my father probably got those orders from the books and yes, it looks like my father was responsible for those deaths but what youre asking me to do... I just need some time. Not a lot of time. Not forever. Just... please. You won't do anything about this without me?
So Vaughn does have some sneaky bones in his body. However, he doesn't seem to like them very much because the next time he sees Sydney he totally confesses. Now, I could make picspams of doom of the scene where he makes the tape and the scene where he gives it to her all by themselves. But I restrained myself. Still, this cap cannot be ignored.
Of course, he has revealed that his father was one of the agents killed, ostensibly, by SpyDaddy. After a death-defying mission, Syd and Vaughn meet in front of a music and/or DVD store.
VAUGHN:
You're amazing.
SYDNEY:
I am not amazing.
VAUGHN:
You sure you're ready to meet with Devlin?
SYDNEY:
Yeah.
I think The Confession is one of the most well-shot episodes in five years of filming. It is a joy to icon, I'll say that much. So much pretty! Anyway, on with the spam. They go to see Devlin, and to their shock, they find out that SpyDaddy wasn't KGB. Sydney's Mommy wasn't just Mommy, she was SpyMommy, and she was KGB and she killed Vaughn's dad. Oh, the angst!
Syd is understandably shook up over this. So where does she go? The Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires, of course! And into another one of the most fun to icon episodes, The Box (I & II). Oh, and did I mention that Syd and Vaughn hug?
SYDNEY:
Vaughn, I just wanted to say... that I'm so sorry.
Ahhhh. I think my first actual "squee" might have happened in that moment. [/nostalgia] Anyway, they extricate themselves from the hug offscreen while crazy Quentin Tarantino breaks into SD-6, and when we return to the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires, Sydney is talking crazy.
SYDNEY:
I need someone in my life to be real.
VAUGHN:
This right here. What we do is real.
SYDNEY:
Look where we are. I mean, this isn't real. This isn't what we should be doing. I want out.
VAUGHN:
Out?
(Sydney nods.)
VAUGHN:
You want to enter the protection program.
SYDNEY:
No. I'm not going into hiding.
VAUGHN:
If you don't, Sloane will kill you.
SYDNEY:
I don't think he will.
SYDNEY:
You like hockey, right? The Kings?
VAUGHN:
Yeah, how'd you-
SYDNEY:
The pen you keep in your briefcase. It's a Kings pen.
VAUGHN:
Yeah, I got that-
SYDNEY:
They're playing the Islanders next week. We should go.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Most Beautiful Cap in the History of Alias. Unfortunately, a second later his face falls as he remembers that Sydney is talking crazy. Oh well, at least he gets to kick someone's ass when he gets tattled on for giving Sydney that Christmas present.
VAUGHN:
Did it make you feel better about yourself, telling Barnett I got Sydney a Christmas gift?
HALADKI:
You're too emotionally attached to that woman!
VAUGHN:
Oh, like you would know anything about being emotionally attached to a woman!
HALADKI:
I think your judgement's impaired!
VAUGHN:
I think I'm gonna kick your ass!
Oh, Vaughn. Would that you had. Too bad Weiss interrupted. Meanwhile, Syd's in deep doo-doo over at invaded-SD-6. Vaughn figures this out when Dix calls for help. Despite Haladki-the-weasel's successful attempt to block official intervention, Vaughn can't stay away.
VAUGHN:
If I'm not back in a couple of hours, I'm probably dead.
WEISS:
Good to know.
So Vaughn, now making his first real appearance as Action!Vaughn, goes to SD-6, immediately is assured that something is indeed wrong, and then creeps around until he runs into Sydney.
SYDNEY:
What the hell are you doing here?
VAUGHN:
Dixon contacted us. What the hell's going on?
Explanations, Tarantino's nuts, and hey, what do you know about C-4?
VAUGHN:
There's got to be two hundred pounds in here. Damn. That's enough to level the building.
SYDNEY:
It's a failsafe. Sloane has three of these-
VAUGHN:
Three?!
SYDNEY:
-rigged to the vault. If the vault doors open, they all blow.
VAUGHN:
Maybe they shouldn't open the vault.
SYDNEY:
"They" being the six men with machine guns?
VAUGHN:
How long before they hack the code?
SYDNEY:
Soon. Did you study bomb defusion at Langley?
VAUGHN:
Just seminars, though. Nothing field-specific.
SYDNEY:
Does anyone ever learn anything in seminars?
VAUGHN:
Let's just take this one step at a time. This is a charge of C-4. I can tell, 'cause it says "C-4" everywhere.
Action!Vaughn is so clever. So, clever Action!Vaughn and steady-handed Sydney deactivate the first charge of C-4, and then decide to split up to take care of the other two, because that will take less time. And thus we are treated to this lovely cap:
VAUGHN:
The storage room where I got in. That's where we'll meet.
SYDNEY:
Then maybe we can go to that hockey game.
VAUGHN:
Maybe. Be careful.
SYDNEY:
You, too.
But alas, after bringing down Crazy Tarantino and keeping SD-6 from blowing up, all without anyone knowing the CIA cavalry was even there...
SYDNEY:
What is that, perfume?
VAUGHN:
Whatever it is, we have it now and they don't. Because of you.
SYDNEY:
Not just me.
VAUGHN:
Because of you.
SYDNEY:
Well, it'd better be good perfume.
VAUGHN:
I'm not kidding. Think about it. What you do. Hockey can wait. I don't think what you're doing here can.
Oh, Vaughn. You are so pretty, it almost hurts. Speaking of pretty, it's another scene I could give its own picspam, the train car scene from The Coup. Sweet! And the countermission the meeting is supposedly about only gets about two seconds of the scene. Even sweeter!
SYDNEY:
I just wanted to rip his finger right off again.
(Vaughn chuckles.)
SYDNEY:
Does that make me a bad person?
VAUGHN:
No. That might have blown your cover.
SYDNEY:
You think?
VAUGHN:
Yeah. Look, you'll tag Dahlgren in Vegahs. When SD-6 gets more specifics about the meeting, we'll figure out what our next move is.
SYDNEY:
Did the guy from your office end up reporting you?
VAUGHN:
Haladki? Yeah, he did. But Devlin only slapped me on the wrist. Even though going into SD-6 without clearance wasn't exactly constitutional.
VAUGHN:
I was kind of hoping he'd get nailed for snitching but I guess we kind of broke even on this one. Are you okay?
SYDNEY:
It's nothing. I'm just a little bruised.
VAUGHN:
Oh. You can't really tell.
SYDNEY:
That's because I'm wearing, like, a pound of cover-up.
So Syd goes on a mission and comes back and blah blah blah, we're once again meeting awkwardly in public - I swear, how is this supposed to be covert, I ask you? Oh, well, Sloane never caught them, so I suppose it doesn't matter. Besides, we've suspended disbelief for a heck of a lot more *cough*Rambaldi*cough*, so it ought to be easy to let it slide. Um, where was I? Oh, yes. Observatory.
VAUGHN:
Last week, when you talked about quitting SD-6-
SYDNEY:
I was being naive.
VAUGHN:
No, but, um, what you said about wanting to go to a hockey game... wanting me to be part of your life... I, uh, I think I wasn't clear about something... That it would be nice to be in public with you, to actually get to look at you. Grab a pizza or go to a hockey game. I just... I wasn't clear that I would really like that, too.
Yay!
Sydney gets to go to Sloane's for dinner so she can plant a bug in his study, and she gets to bring a date!
VAUGHN:
You said Emily invited you and a friend.
SYDNEY:
Mm-hmm.
VAUGHN:
You taking anyone?
*wishes he could be the guest*
Sydney meets with him again to get her optech pre-dinner...
VAUGHN:
You look really pretty.
SYDNEY:
Thanks.
And now, my favorite part. I think. If I could pick a favorite part, that is. I'm not really sure I can. But if I could, I think this would be it. Maybe. Because really, only Michael Vartan could make the following exchange sexy.
VAUGHN:
You're going to break into the Vatican?!
SYDNEY:
The last thing I'm going to do while DSR is waiting for test results to prove I'm guilty of something I don't even understand is sit on my ass.
VAUGHN:
But the Vatican!
SYDNEY:
The secret archives. All I have is an inventory number. They don't know the form the code key is in and it's Rambaldi, so it could be anything. I called you because I need a partner for this op. Someone I can trust.
VAUGHN:
We'd have to fly out separately, undercover...
SYDNEY:
Different airports in Italy.
VAUGHN:
Meet up in Rome.
SYDNEY:
We'd have to leave tonight. You in?
VAUGHN:
Yeah. I'll break into the Vatican with you.
And I am only mildly ashamed to admit that when I myself went to the Vatican, I did keep hearing that line in my head every so often throughout the day. So they break into the Vatican together, and "Hate to Say I Told You So" plays and it is fun, Sydney finds out that Vaughn knew Kobe Bryant was named after a steak and that Vaughn's favorite restaurant is Trattoria di Nardi, which I'm still kicking myself for not checking to make sure was fake while I was in Rome. Speaking of the Trattoria di Nardi...
VAUGHN:
And they agreed to wait on decryption before taking any action. So why don't you go home and relax. This insanity's almost over. Next time we're in Rome, Trattoria di Nardi.
SYDNEY:
I'd like that.
Oh, Syd. So would we. But first you must be abducted by the FBI and then saved by Vaughn's brilliant plan to send you back to Italy to Alias' giant-sized version of Assisi's Mt Subasio. Which I geeked out over despite its disparity from Alias' version. Also, Jack calls Sydney "honey." Hee. And awwww.
VAUGHN:
Are you all right?
SYDNEY:
You didn't think about it. Not once. The possibility that Rambaldi could be right about me.
VAUGHN:
No. I didn't.
SYDNEY:
Why not?
VAUGHN:
Because I believe in you. Do you think I'd just throw anyone in my trunk?
Now comes the part of the season I'm pretty sure is almost universally disliked, certainly among S/V-ers, but I'm pretty sure very few people that I'm aware of actually truly enjoyed Peter "Mush Mouth" Berg's guest role. At any rate, Sydney meets an old flame and for some reason uses him to try and defuse some of the UST she's built up with Vaughn. Silly, silly girl.
SYDNEY:
We actually dated for a while.
VAUGHN:
Really.
SYDNEY:
We kept it under the radar. SD-6 discourages, you know, fraternization among agents.
VAUGHN:
So does the CIA.
We are so not going to talk about what happens in the space between Masquerade and Snowman, because...I don't want to and it's not part of this picspam. So there. Syd goes off on a mission *cough* with Noah, and some other stuff happens in the search for Khasinau/SpyMommy, and Syd and Vaughn meet once again in the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires for a little argument.
This is really dangerous and you shouldn't be doing it, and your countermission is this, but I know you're not going to do it and I'm mad at you.
I don't care.
And then the inevitable happens and Noah is eeeeeevil, and Sydney is saaaaad, and who does she lean on but the very man she tossed aside. And he lets her, because he is made of awesome.
SYDNEY:
I killed a man... someone I cared about.
VAUGHN:
Noah Hicks was an assassin. If you hadn't killed him, he would have killed you.
SYDNEY:
Maybe. But I was the one who forced the fight.
VAUGHN:
Hicks was a bad guy.
SYDNEY:
I got into this to bring them down and now I feel like I'm on their side.
VAUGHN:
This is the world of SD-6 when we started. Remember?
(Sydney can only nod with tears in her eyes. Vaughn flips over a transparent cover that reveals who's been taken out since he first showed it to her. Little red circles with a slice through it are over the map.)
VAUGHN:
And here is what it looks like today. And this doesn't even take into account things like Badenweiler or stealing page forty-seven from Sloane's vault. Or the way you kept Khasinau from getting his hands on that ampule. Sydney, these are incredible accomplishments.
SYDNEY:
Khasinau is out there somewhere.
VAUGHN:
Yes.
SYDNEY:
My mom is out there.
VAUGHN:
We will find them.
And then he gives her an ice pack for her bloody fingers and tells her to take care of herself, but I couldn't find good screencaps of that. But it bears mentioning because it was awesome. In the continued search for Khasinau and SpyMommy, Action!Vaughn makes yet another appearance (aww, remember how it was in S1 when that was actually a rare and special occurance? Not that I didn't love having it every week, but its rarity in S1 somehow made it all the more special...), and he and Sydney go to somewhere with an orange filter.
And there we see Action!Vaughn winding up his first of many enjoyable confrontations with Sark by leaving him simply handcuffed to a gate so that he (Action!Vaughn, that is) can go and rescue Sydney. Can we blame him for his priority list? I don't think so, though Weiss certainly seems to do so.
VAUGHN:
Look, Sydney's my responsibility--
WEISS:
Mike, I'm not going to trivialize your relationship with her by calling it a crush-
VAUGHN:
A crush?
WEISS:
But whatever it is, it's starting to affect me and if that sounds selfish to you, I was hoping to retire fully vested. I know you genuinely care for her. I do, too. But there is a line that we have been sworn not to cross. We're about a mile past that.
VAUGHN:
I don't know how to be Sydney's handler without making it personal.
WEISS:
Figure out a way.
Oh Weiss. At least you became as hardcore a shipper as the rest of us later. So we'll forgive you for this slight infraction. Syd and Vaughn have a slightly awkward meeting in the Sub-Basement of Dreams and Desires in which Vaughn fruitlessly attempts to be impartial. Ha, like that will last.
It doesn't, because Will, who was still the Willage Idiot back then (and thank God he got cooler, except for that one S3 episode where my eyes got burned by the one-night stand of doom, but whatever), gets all up in the spy business and Sydney needs a shoulder to cry on again, and Vaughn can't resist the sad eyes.
SYDNEY:
He is my friend. He is, like, one of my best friends.
VAUGHN:
I understand that.
SYDNEY:
No, you don't. You get to tell your friends that you work for the CIA while I go home and look desperately for a tiny moment that I can be honest with anyone about anything. Now that Will knows the truth... he's never going to trust me again. You should have seen his face in Paris. It was like he was looking at a stranger.
VAUGHN:
But he wasn't. He was looking at you. Maybe for the first time, he was looking at you.
Well, when you put it that way...
But Will gets into even deeper doo-doo, and the CIA doesn't want to rescue him, and SD-6 wants to kill him, and Sydney tries to make Vaughn think she isn't up to something.
He doesn't believe her. Smart boy, that Vaughn. Meanwhile, Jack and Syd go behind everyone's back to try and rescue poor hapless Willage, and even though Vaughn is waylaid by Devin, Weiss, and Haladki (who still ends up rendered unable to wear a hat by Jack), he still finds the time to hunt down Sydney. This would be another one of those moments in competition for that favorite spot that I can't ever actually choose.
SYDNEY:
How did you find me?
VAUGHN:
You told me a couple of months ago that when you feel the need to disappear, you go to the observatory. But the observatory was closed. And then I remembered you said the pier calms you down. But you weren't there. And you weren't at the bluffs and the palisades, either.
SYDNEY:
You didn't really go to all those places.
VAUGHN:
Yeah, I did. And then I remembered you liked the train station, too. Normal people going to their normal jobs.
SYDNEY:
I can't believe you remember that.
VAUGHN:
He's contacted you, hasn't he? Khasinau? And he wants the page. You're going to give it to him.
SYDNEY:
You came here to stop me.
VAUGHN:
My father used to keep a diary and when I was a kid I used to say, "Hey, Dad, only girls keep diaries," and he'd just laugh. He was a really good guy, my dad. Yeah. But he was too hard on himself. I mean, he was such a company guy that whenever he slipped up even in the slightest way he took it so personally. There were a few operations - his last one among them - that he questioned. Operations he refused to participate in. But only in his diary. He'd write out what he wanted to say to the CIA director. I mean, things he could never say in real life. He was a company man, and I loved him very much. But it killed him, never questioning orders. His blind devotion to the job. If you're doing what I think you're doing, I'm in if you need me.
SYDNEY:
Thank you.
Sigh. Oh, the awesome. I need a moment. ... ... Okay, back. So Syd and Vaughn go to Taipei and dress up like punks. Now, while Syd ends up with blue hair and ridiculously dark red lipstick, Vaughn just ends up with really sexy bed hair and an even sexier leather jacket. And thousands of Vartan Hos hit the floor and almost miss the rest of the finale. There was the great big splash of water, though...
Anyway, they hit this club in Taipei and some guy starts moving in on Sydney.
And there is no dialogue, but Vaughn does this awesome "what the fuck, bitch, get away from my woman" face and shove and it is fabulous. The Vartan Hos hit the floor again, and Sydney giggles.
See? Giggles!
And then they get down to business to go after the MacGuffin and destroy the lab.
SYDNEY:
Vaughn, it's bigger than I thought.
VARTAN:
I'd just like to point out, she said 'Vaughn, it's bigger than I thought.'
Oh, that commentary track is awesome. Also included is Vartan's imitation of Victor Garber "I hate props" and lots of other fun stuff. Vartan should comment on all the episodes, seriously.
Where was I? Oh, right, the MacGuffin was bigger than they thought. Syd blows it up anyway, unleashing a disproportionate amount of water into the building. I mean, honestly, the Big Red Ball of Doom fit into the room it was in, therefore the water inside of it should have as well. MORE TEQUILA!
And so we are left to spend the summer wondering why Vaughn didn't run and exactly how good of a swimmer he really is.
And oh yeah, SpyMommy's the Man. But whatever. VAUGHN!
To be continued...?
THIS PICSPAM BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
- Original screencaps by myself, Two Evil Monks, and Spy-Caps.com
- All screencap editing by myself (surrexi)
- Transcripts by Twiz TV
- Images hosted on my personal domain (don't hotlink!)
- Beta-ing/tips from my lovely flist