Late response to "missing"
Mid-season three.
The Message
The light on his machine is blinking when he walks into his house, and he pushes it without much thought. Since he was out for dinner on a weekday, the only person who should be leaving a message is a telemarketer.
"Weiss?"
Sydney's tremulous voice stops him in the entry to his kitchen.
"I- I shouldn't be calling you, but I don't- I don't know what to do."
She's been drinking, he can hear it.
"It's- it's his birthday. It's his birthday and- and I couldn't- I said something to him, of course, but she was there. So what could I say? I wouldn't have said anything anyway... just "happy birthday, Vaughn"... she calls him Michael all the time, she's the only one... I- I never got to spend his birthday with him. We talked about it once, after mine had passed and we were together, oh, we can go away or something... it doesn't feel like two years ago, but it was. I don't even know if he remembers..."
She pauses and he can hear her swallow.
"I miss him so much. And not just big things like, having someone to talk to..." She stops to take another swallow, and continues mournfully, "Or to... be with..." The pause is longer this time. "But just stupid little things. I miss saying his name, just the way it sounds... I miss him calling me Syd... he only calls me Sydney now. He always called me Syd, even when we were just friends... I don't know if we're friends anymore. Friends talk and we don't talk, we just... I don't know... stutter and apologize or argue. Are we so different from who we are that we can't even be friends anymore? We've always been friends... I don't feel different from who I was... am..."
She gulps.
"I guess I am... or he is... he seems the same, but I wouldn't know, because I'm never around him... we don't talk... I think I said that... We can barely look at one another... sometimes I catch him looking at me... I don't know. If I knew he was happy- I just want him to be happy. And if he was, I could... cope. I could handle this. I guess. I just... I love him. And if he'd be happier with h- but he's not. He's not and I can't stand it. I can tell he's not... but I don't know whose fault it is, mine or hers... maybe both... but does he hate me now? I don't think he does... he doesn't look like he does... I miss seeing him all the time-" She takes a strangled breath here. "He was my best friend. Even- even more than Will and Francie, because I loved him too, and I could always be honest with him- and now all I do is lie... I lie and lie and say that I'm fine when I miss the way his pillow smelled and the way I could feel the calluses on his fingers when he held my hand... the way I miss his voice and... everything, even the annoying things... and even thou-”
The message ends abruptly with a beep, and he realizes that he hasn’t moved the entire time she’s been speaking.
The front door opens loudly, “Darling?” Lauren walks into the kitchen carrying a bottle of champagne by the neck. “Can you believe I forgot the champagne?”
The Message
The light on his machine is blinking when he walks into his house, and he pushes it without much thought. Since he was out for dinner on a weekday, the only person who should be leaving a message is a telemarketer.
"Weiss?"
Sydney's tremulous voice stops him in the entry to his kitchen.
"I- I shouldn't be calling you, but I don't- I don't know what to do."
She's been drinking, he can hear it.
"It's- it's his birthday. It's his birthday and- and I couldn't- I said something to him, of course, but she was there. So what could I say? I wouldn't have said anything anyway... just "happy birthday, Vaughn"... she calls him Michael all the time, she's the only one... I- I never got to spend his birthday with him. We talked about it once, after mine had passed and we were together, oh, we can go away or something... it doesn't feel like two years ago, but it was. I don't even know if he remembers..."
She pauses and he can hear her swallow.
"I miss him so much. And not just big things like, having someone to talk to..." She stops to take another swallow, and continues mournfully, "Or to... be with..." The pause is longer this time. "But just stupid little things. I miss saying his name, just the way it sounds... I miss him calling me Syd... he only calls me Sydney now. He always called me Syd, even when we were just friends... I don't know if we're friends anymore. Friends talk and we don't talk, we just... I don't know... stutter and apologize or argue. Are we so different from who we are that we can't even be friends anymore? We've always been friends... I don't feel different from who I was... am..."
She gulps.
"I guess I am... or he is... he seems the same, but I wouldn't know, because I'm never around him... we don't talk... I think I said that... We can barely look at one another... sometimes I catch him looking at me... I don't know. If I knew he was happy- I just want him to be happy. And if he was, I could... cope. I could handle this. I guess. I just... I love him. And if he'd be happier with h- but he's not. He's not and I can't stand it. I can tell he's not... but I don't know whose fault it is, mine or hers... maybe both... but does he hate me now? I don't think he does... he doesn't look like he does... I miss seeing him all the time-" She takes a strangled breath here. "He was my best friend. Even- even more than Will and Francie, because I loved him too, and I could always be honest with him- and now all I do is lie... I lie and lie and say that I'm fine when I miss the way his pillow smelled and the way I could feel the calluses on his fingers when he held my hand... the way I miss his voice and... everything, even the annoying things... and even thou-”
The message ends abruptly with a beep, and he realizes that he hasn’t moved the entire time she’s been speaking.
The front door opens loudly, “Darling?” Lauren walks into the kitchen carrying a bottle of champagne by the neck. “Can you believe I forgot the champagne?”