Subject to Change Without Notice
Title: Subject to Change Without Notice
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Ianto, Gwen, Three aliens (OCs); Jack/Ianto
Genre: Humour, mostly. I hope.
Spoilers: If you’ve seen all of Torchwood you’re good
Warnings: Character death, but it gets fixed, no worries.
Summary: A strange energy reading draws the Torchwood team to the countryside, but things rapidly get out of hand.
Author’s note: Inspired the manga series Kashimashi. I couldn’t resist writing this. Oh, and I got the title from my hair straighteners. Let me know of it works...
The three stood in the middle of the open green area, staring at the white fleecy creatures around them. The three were tall and thin, standing on four legs with two additional arms and no features to distinguish between them. All had big eyes, slits instead of noses and thin mouths. Eventually, one of the three prodded another and it approached one of the creatures. It spoke, the creature looked up, bleated and ran away. The being went back to the other two.
[So?] One asked. [What did it say?]
[Baa,] It replied, before consulting a hand-held device. [Which means ‘Aaaah!,’ apparently.]
[Oh. Well that’s not very informative,] One complained.
[I believe,] the thus far silent one ventured, [that these are not perhaps the most intelligent creatures of the planet.]
[There seem to be a lot of them,] One said doubtfully.
[The size of the population does not have to directly correlate to being the superior species,] One pointed out. [Besides, this is only a small area. There is more to this planet then simply this, ah, green patch.]
[So what do we do now?] One asked as it put away the hand-held device.
[Back to the ship?] One suggested. [Shreeneri suggested there may be more intelligent life elsewhere, so let’s go find them.]
[Perhaps we should head for the structures we saw?] The one called Shreeneri said.
[Excellent idea,] One replied brightly. [As always.]
[Thank you, Plexus.]
They walked to an empty area that, to the casual observer, was just a bit of field. Should one take a closer look, however, one would find that the air seemed different, with an almost shimmering quality to it. If one were a highly advanced species, one would know that the shimmering effect was a cloaking device that duplicated the area around it in such a way that could fool the untrained, underdeveloped eye. However, since anyone likely to see it would be from earth and therefore not a highly advanced species, no one would know.
The three entered the ship and made their preparations to find a more civilised species that would not scream and run away from them. If they had known more about the planet, they would not have bothered with the search.
AA
“It’s around here somewhere,” Jack muttered as he drove down the country lane. “Gwen, check the PDA again.”
“Jack, I already told you, the PDA says it’s somewhere east of us,” Gwen said irritably. “But, as I said, whatever idiot mapped this area obviously didn’t feel the need to include this road.”
“Fine,” Jack said, slamming his foot on the brake. “We’ll just have to get out and walk then!”
Jack hurled himself from the SUV, throwing the door back into place before stomping off eastwards through one of the many fields surrounding them. Gwen grumbled to herself as she got out of the car and Ianto silently slipped out, striding to catch up with their cranky leader.
“You just going to leave the SUV there?” He asked.
“It’s not like there’s anyone around here to care,” Jack growled.
Ianto sighed mentally. It was going to be one of those days, then. He slowed to allow Gwen to catch up and said, “Any change?”
“No,” she said harshly. “It’s still there, still giving off low-energy readings.”
Jack turned and said, “Right, Gwen, you head up towards that end of the field, Ianto, you go that way and I’ll just keep going this way, got it?”
Neither argued; Gwen because she was still miffed at Jack for snapping at her the whole way there and Ianto for want of a peaceful life. Or at least, as peaceful as he could manage working for Torchwood.
AA
[So,] Plexus said, [there seems to be signs of a large area of construction South-West of here. Perhaps we will have more luck that way.]
[That would be my best guess,] Shreeneri replied. [Though I believe we would have better luck trying to communicate with that species on the violet planet a few solar systems over-]
[Yes, thank you,] Plexus interrupted in a tone that suggested he was scowling. Difficult to tell with no eyebrows. [We heard your reasoning the first twenty times, but we’re here now so!] He said it with a sense of finality. [Armatic, if you please, take us South-West.]
Armatic knew better than to argue, and quickly started up the engines.
AA
Ianto had trodden in the sheep droppings four times now and was beginning to think the universe did not want him to have clean shoes. Was it too much to ask to want to look presentable?
As he thought this a great roar started somewhere in front of him and there was a blast of heat. “Jack!” He shouted into his comm. link. “I think I’ve found something!"
He didn’t hear Jack’s reply, partly due to the roaring of what had to be engines, but also partly because the ship the engines were attached to chose that moment to plough right into him.
AA
[Sorry!] Armatic called to his two companions. [Had it in reverse!]
[Oh honestly, could you please watch what you’re doing?] Shreeneri scolded.
There was something beeping on the console drawing Armatic’s attention away. [Oh, we hit something...]
[What kind of something?] Plexus asked, rushing over.
[Some kind of bipedal life-form,] Armatic replied, concentrating on the screen. [Or at least, it was until we hit it.]
[Was?]
[Well, now it’s sort of non-pedal...]
[Wonderful,] Plexus said with a glare. [We come here to talk to the resident intelligent life-forms and you end up squishing one. This is not how to start good interplanetary relationships!]
[Uh-oh,] Shreeneri said, watching another screen.
[What now?] Plexus half shouted, half moaned.
[I think we upset the bipedal being’s friends.]
Heading towards them was a creature, shouting and waving a metal object around. Even the three could tell this being was not happy.
[Still,] Shreeneri said, [at least this proves you’re right, Plexus. There does seem to be intelligent life here.] Plexus glared.
AA
“Ianto!” Jack shouted, running towards where he’d seen the other man go down. “Ianto!” Please, Jack prayed in his head, please let him be alive. Please let him have just fallen over. Any minute now Ianto would stand up and start complaining about the state of his suit. Any minute now...
Jack came to an unexpected and abrupt stop when he collided with thin air. As he stood, rubbing his head, he realised it was not thin air but a cloaking shield. He ran a hand over it before quickly navigating his way round to the other side, where he knew Ianto would be.
AA
[Okay, offer me solutions,] Plexus said.
[Let’s make a run for it,] Armatic declared, preparing to take the ship away from the ground.
[Offer me solutions that don’t involve a hit-and-run,] Plexus amended.
[Well,] Shreeneri said, looking over the latest scans, [I believe we can fix it.]
[Really?] The other two asked in unison.
[Well,] Shreeneri corrected herself, [I can, anyway. Doesn’t look too complicated.]
AA
Gwen climbed over the stupid fields around the stupid sheep to get to the stupid aliens that had done something to Ianto. She had no idea what, but he had not replied to her or Jack and now Jack had gone silent...
She saw Jack, crouching down in the grass with his back to her. His shoulders were shaking and the dread that had been slowly worming its way through her kicked up a notch. She raced the last few meters, almost running into Jack as she came to a dead stop when she saw...
“Oh no,” she whimpered. “Please no...”
AA
[Hey look, there’s another one,] Armatic said as Shreeneri and Plexus set-up. [They really don’t seem happy about this.]
[And whose fault is that?] Plexus snapped.
[Right, ready,] Shreeneri said. [Transport the life-form aboard.]
Armatic pushed the button before turning around to get a better look at the life-form. [Eugh.] He turned his head sideways. [Well, that half seems intact.]
Shreeneri was fiddling with a small device and glow enveloped the creature. [Ah, good, still alive. That makes things easier. There’s a lot of waste material here... It’ll have to be duplicated... Armatic, get me scans of the other two creatures.]
[Are you thinking reconstruction?] Plexus asked.
[Reconstruction,] Shreeneri affirmed.
[Got the scans, transferring them to you now,] Armatic called over. [Wow, the grey one is really pissed off.]
AA
The minute Ianto - Ianto’s body - he - it disappeared, Jack roared and rose up, all terrible fury and burning pain. Gwen jumped back in surprise as he launched himself at the ship, banging his fists against the invisible side. “Give him back!” Jack yelled. “Give him back, you bastards!”
Gwen watched, too emotionally stretched to do anything but sit there and watch as her boss, her friend lashed out against those who took his lover. Who had killed Ianto and then taken his body - what was left of his body -
The bile rose quickly in her throat, making her turn and fall forward, expelling it immediately. Oh god, she thought. Ianto.
She didn’t even notice the sobs raking through her body and the sound of Jack’s fist pounding against the ship became just background noise.
AA
Shreeneri was looking over the scans, trying to discern what was typical of the species and what was typical of the individual. The two samples she had were different from each other, and she was once again reminded that aliens evolved entirely differently than they did.
[You’d better hurry up, he’s not going to stop,] Armatic said.
[I’m trying to make sense of this,] Shreeneri replied distractedly. [Which type is this, or perhaps...]
[Perhaps you might want to work quicker,] Plexus suggested.
[I’m going as fast as I can!] Shreeneri retorted. [This isn’t easy, you know. Do you want me to get it right or do you want it done as fast as possible, because -]
[Right now? As fast as possible,] Plexus replied.
[Why?]
[Because the bluey-grey one has stopped banging and is heading back to it’s petroleum-fuelled vehicle,] Plexus said. [And I think it’s going to bring some of the incendiary devices back with it.]
AA
Gwen came out of her daze as Jack came back, carrying a large bag with him. “Jack?” She said, wiping her cheek and turning to look at him. “Jack, what’re you doing?” Jack didn’t reply. He set down the bag and unzipped it, fetching out small brown parcels and setting them near the base of the ship they couldn’t see.
“What is that?” Gwen asked, crawling closer. Once she’d gotten a good look at them, she jumped back in surprise. “C4?” She said, staring at it. “C4!” Jack continued to stack the packages. There certainly were a lot of them. “Jack, no! You can’t use C4 on them!”
“Why not? They killed Ianto, I’m going to kill them. Eye for an eye.” Jack seemed calm, too calm.
It was the grief, Gwen thought. Making him irrational. “Jack, you can’t blow them up!”
“Yes I can,” he said as the pile got bigger.
“With that much C4 there’ll be no field left! You’ll blow away half the countryside! Why do we even have this much C4?” Gwen said. “I can’t believe we’ve been driving around with that in the car this whole time!”
“We have it in case some alien kills one of my team,” Jack replied, “so that I can blow them up and make them wish they had never even heard of earth.”
“Jack, if you blow them up you’ll be blowing him up too!” Gwen tried, her voice catching on ‘him.’
Jack rounded on her then, that cold gaze fixed on her with so much pain searing in its depth. “I would rather blow him up then let them have his body for a minute longer than I have to.”
AA
[I think they’re going to try and blow us up!] Armatic exclaimed. [That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?]
Plexus and Shreeneri ignored him. [Almost done,] Shreeneri said, her fingers flying over her version of a keyboard.
[Too slow,] Plexus complained. He looked over the screen and said, [Look, if we just put this and this-]
[Wait, what are you doing? Get off!] Shreeneri objected as Plexus stabbed at the keyboard before taking it off her.
[Look, the basics are all there, it’s good to go,] Plexus said, holding the keyboard out of her reach while he typed.
[You can’t just shove everything in and hope for the best!]
[Too late,] Plexus replied and hit the enter button.
There was silence before the Reconstruction Machine™ the body had been transferred to let out a long whistle and whirred. Discs twirled and raced around the outside of the metal casing and there were many flashing lights. It shook and the mechanics roared into life, whizzing inside, working to duplicate the material provided and include what was programmed. The whole process took about five minutes (during which Plexus nervously watched the two beings outside as they apparently argued) before the machine let out steam from the top and bottom in great plumes, the lights fading and the workings coming to a standstill. The front opened with a cheerful ping. The three gathered in front and looked inside at their creation.
AA
“I know, Jack, and it hurts me too, but maybe we should try talking to them or something first!” Gwen protested. “You’re going to end up killing us too, and I don’t come back from that.”
Jack stopped and turned to look at her, the pain in his eyes breaking her heart. He started to reply but whatever he would have said was cut off by a panel in the ship appearing and lowing noisily down. Jack and Gwen spun around, Jack instinctively blocking her body with his own. Three shapes emerged, looking almost insect-like with their long thin legs. Jack had his gun out in an instant and had it trained on them.
One of the aliens held out its hands while another tapped on a device. Something else floated out of the ship, another figure that seemed to be lying down...
“Ianto!” Jack said, almost dropping his gun as he rushed forward. The man was naked, but blessedly whole, unconscious but breathing. Jack took him in his arms, pulling him away from the aliens and their ship and Ianto turned into a dead weight in his arms. Jack laid him out on the grass, looking him over. Before, when he was dead, his lower half and one hand were almost completely blown away. Now he had legs again, everything again, and it all looked pale and brand new, devoid of hair and standing out against his upper body which was pink and hairy.
Jack took off his coat and spread it over the other man gently, pausing to brush a hand over his face. Gwen was sitting beside Ianto now, staring at him as though she had never seen anything like him before.
Jack turned to the aliens, who were all standing watching them, and unless he was very much mistaken, shifting nervously.
“I should blow you up for this,” Jack threatened.
[What did he say?] Plexus asked as Armatic fetched out the translator.
[He should blow us off...]
Plexus paused. [Off?]
[Up, sorry, up.]
[Tell him we’d rather he didn’t.]
[What do you mean, tell him? I don’t speak alien anymore than you do,] Armatic protested.
[Give me that,] Shreeneri said, taking the translator off him. She typed into it then held it up for the angry one to see.
Jack peered at the screen. ‘We apologise profoundly for your lack of cheese. We have restored cheese and will be leaving this planet immediately.’
“Cheese?”
[Ah, typo,] Shreeneri said after reading his response.
‘Person.’
“You think that’s good enough?” Jack demanded. “You killed him!”
‘We also reconstructed him.’
Jack glared before he glanced back at Ianto’s prostrate form. “Will he be okay? What did you do to him?”
He watched as the one typed, the others making burbling noises at it. Eventually, she held out the tablet again for Jack to see.
‘He will be fine with rest. He should not do any strenuous activity for three planetary rotations. We duplicated the material and used samples from scans of your bodies to form the missing tissue. While not his original form, it is preferable to the alternative.’
Well, Jack couldn’t argue with that. “When will he wake up?”
Shreeneri paused as she tried to formulate an answer. Technically, he should wake up in sixteen Tanathals, but that would not mean anything to these creatures. She typed, ‘Soon. Ish.’
Jack nodded. “I want you off this planet. Now. And don’t even think of ever coming back.”
Shreeneri read the screen and nodded. [I believe we should go,] she told Plexus.
[What? I thought maybe now we fixed their friend we could try for that interplanetary alliance...] Plexus whined. Shreeneri held out the device for him to see. [Although there is that violet planet we went past a few solar systems over that might be worth our attention. Come on, Armatic, let’s get out of here before it decides to blow us up anyway.]
The three hurried back onto the ship as Jack and Gwen carried Ianto away from the ship and there was a great roar from the ship as the engines fired up, before the slight shimmer in the air disappeared up into the sky.
Jack couldn’t stop staring at Ianto. He was alive again, breathing in his arms. He carried him draped in his arms to the SUV and carefully laid him out across the back seat, tucking his coat around him. He turned back to Gwen who met his eyes. Apparently that was all it took for her defences to shatter and she launched herself into his arms, sobbing and holding him tight.
“I know,” he said, stroking her hair. “I know.”
AA
Ianto woke up lying on one of the sofas in the Hub. He blinked and looked around him. Had he passed out? How embarrassing. The teasing from Jack would never cease. He frowned as he tried to remember what had happened. They went out to investigate a strange energy reading in the middle of the countryside, there was a ship and then... He drew a blank. That must have been when he fainte- passed out, he corrected himself. ‘Passed out’ didn’t sound quite so girly as ‘fainted.’
He sat up and noticed he was covered only with a blanket. Probably Jack’s fault, he thought. He wrapped it around his waist and stood, only to fall straight back down again.
“Ianto?” He heard Jack call.
“Down here,” Ianto replied, rubbing his legs. His legs that didn’t quite look right. Had Jack shaved them too?
“Ianto,” he heard Jack breathe behind him.
“If this is your idea of a joke I’m not amused,” Ianto said. “What have you done with my clothes and why the hell have you shaved my legs?” When he didn’t get a reply he turned slightly to look at Jack. Jack was staring at him like he was about to burst into tears. Whoa. “I meant,” Ianto said, trying to back-pedal, “you could have at least consulted me first, and I really liked that tie I had on, so-“
He was cut off when Jack leapt on him, knocking him back against the sofa and nearly blocking off his air supply with the ferocity of his hug.
“Jack?” Ianto heard Gwen call. “Is everything - Ianto!”
Jack pulled back and Ianto managed, “Hi Gwen, did something-“ He didn’t manage to finish that sentence either as he found his arms now full of Gwen. “Okay, we’re all happy to see me. Anyone mind telling me what’s going on?”
AA
Ianto stared at his two teammates after they had finished explaining. They had moved up to the conference room, Ianto being assisted by Jack as his legs felt so weak. Ianto then stared down at his legs. He knew something had looked odd about them, not including the lack of hair, but this...
“Huh,” he said. “Well, this is weird...”
“Tell me about it,” Gwen agreed.
“They said you should rest three days,” Jack said. “Well, they said no strenuous activity, so...”
Ianto nodded absently as he gazed at his left hand, flexing it into a fist and back again. It was definitely his hand, being attached to his arm and all, but it didn’t look the same as it used to. For one thing it was a lot smoother, having not been used for anything yet, and his thumb was slightly bigger, he was sure...
“Right, Gwen, go home,” Jack said. “You’ve been here waiting for Ianto to wake and he’s awake now and fine, so go home and get some rest. Ianto can sleep here for a few days so I can keep an eye on him.” Ianto thought about protesting to being talked about as though he wasn’t there, but in the end he was too tired to say anything.
Gwen came around and hugged him again, placing a kiss on his cheek and telling him to get better soon before she and Jack disappeared off to have a quiet conversation. Ianto laid his head on the conference table and stared at his new hand as he drifted off to sleep.
AA
It took five days to convince Jack he was well enough to work, and a further three days before he could entice Jack back into his bed. In the end, he thought Jack only gave in because Ianto promised Jack could give him a full body inspection.
“You’re bigger,” Jack commented, as he slid his hands up Ianto’s legs.
“You noticed that too, huh?” Ianto said with a grin.
“Well,” Jack said, in-between his licks of Ianto’s newly enlarged anatomy, “they did say they used scans of us to reconstruct material. Guess they used me as a basis.”
Ianto hissed and said, “You’re so full of yourself.”
“Wouldn’t you like to be full of me too?”
Ianto gasped out a laugh and said, “God yes.”
Jack grinned as he stroked a hand down across Ianto before he suddenly paused. “Ianto,” he asked carefully. “Have you always had a vagina?”
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Ianto, Gwen, Three aliens (OCs); Jack/Ianto
Genre: Humour, mostly. I hope.
Spoilers: If you’ve seen all of Torchwood you’re good
Warnings: Character death, but it gets fixed, no worries.
Summary: A strange energy reading draws the Torchwood team to the countryside, but things rapidly get out of hand.
Author’s note: Inspired the manga series Kashimashi. I couldn’t resist writing this. Oh, and I got the title from my hair straighteners. Let me know of it works...
The three stood in the middle of the open green area, staring at the white fleecy creatures around them. The three were tall and thin, standing on four legs with two additional arms and no features to distinguish between them. All had big eyes, slits instead of noses and thin mouths. Eventually, one of the three prodded another and it approached one of the creatures. It spoke, the creature looked up, bleated and ran away. The being went back to the other two.
[So?] One asked. [What did it say?]
[Baa,] It replied, before consulting a hand-held device. [Which means ‘Aaaah!,’ apparently.]
[Oh. Well that’s not very informative,] One complained.
[I believe,] the thus far silent one ventured, [that these are not perhaps the most intelligent creatures of the planet.]
[There seem to be a lot of them,] One said doubtfully.
[The size of the population does not have to directly correlate to being the superior species,] One pointed out. [Besides, this is only a small area. There is more to this planet then simply this, ah, green patch.]
[So what do we do now?] One asked as it put away the hand-held device.
[Back to the ship?] One suggested. [Shreeneri suggested there may be more intelligent life elsewhere, so let’s go find them.]
[Perhaps we should head for the structures we saw?] The one called Shreeneri said.
[Excellent idea,] One replied brightly. [As always.]
[Thank you, Plexus.]
They walked to an empty area that, to the casual observer, was just a bit of field. Should one take a closer look, however, one would find that the air seemed different, with an almost shimmering quality to it. If one were a highly advanced species, one would know that the shimmering effect was a cloaking device that duplicated the area around it in such a way that could fool the untrained, underdeveloped eye. However, since anyone likely to see it would be from earth and therefore not a highly advanced species, no one would know.
The three entered the ship and made their preparations to find a more civilised species that would not scream and run away from them. If they had known more about the planet, they would not have bothered with the search.
AA
“It’s around here somewhere,” Jack muttered as he drove down the country lane. “Gwen, check the PDA again.”
“Jack, I already told you, the PDA says it’s somewhere east of us,” Gwen said irritably. “But, as I said, whatever idiot mapped this area obviously didn’t feel the need to include this road.”
“Fine,” Jack said, slamming his foot on the brake. “We’ll just have to get out and walk then!”
Jack hurled himself from the SUV, throwing the door back into place before stomping off eastwards through one of the many fields surrounding them. Gwen grumbled to herself as she got out of the car and Ianto silently slipped out, striding to catch up with their cranky leader.
“You just going to leave the SUV there?” He asked.
“It’s not like there’s anyone around here to care,” Jack growled.
Ianto sighed mentally. It was going to be one of those days, then. He slowed to allow Gwen to catch up and said, “Any change?”
“No,” she said harshly. “It’s still there, still giving off low-energy readings.”
Jack turned and said, “Right, Gwen, you head up towards that end of the field, Ianto, you go that way and I’ll just keep going this way, got it?”
Neither argued; Gwen because she was still miffed at Jack for snapping at her the whole way there and Ianto for want of a peaceful life. Or at least, as peaceful as he could manage working for Torchwood.
AA
[So,] Plexus said, [there seems to be signs of a large area of construction South-West of here. Perhaps we will have more luck that way.]
[That would be my best guess,] Shreeneri replied. [Though I believe we would have better luck trying to communicate with that species on the violet planet a few solar systems over-]
[Yes, thank you,] Plexus interrupted in a tone that suggested he was scowling. Difficult to tell with no eyebrows. [We heard your reasoning the first twenty times, but we’re here now so!] He said it with a sense of finality. [Armatic, if you please, take us South-West.]
Armatic knew better than to argue, and quickly started up the engines.
AA
Ianto had trodden in the sheep droppings four times now and was beginning to think the universe did not want him to have clean shoes. Was it too much to ask to want to look presentable?
As he thought this a great roar started somewhere in front of him and there was a blast of heat. “Jack!” He shouted into his comm. link. “I think I’ve found something!"
He didn’t hear Jack’s reply, partly due to the roaring of what had to be engines, but also partly because the ship the engines were attached to chose that moment to plough right into him.
AA
[Sorry!] Armatic called to his two companions. [Had it in reverse!]
[Oh honestly, could you please watch what you’re doing?] Shreeneri scolded.
There was something beeping on the console drawing Armatic’s attention away. [Oh, we hit something...]
[What kind of something?] Plexus asked, rushing over.
[Some kind of bipedal life-form,] Armatic replied, concentrating on the screen. [Or at least, it was until we hit it.]
[Was?]
[Well, now it’s sort of non-pedal...]
[Wonderful,] Plexus said with a glare. [We come here to talk to the resident intelligent life-forms and you end up squishing one. This is not how to start good interplanetary relationships!]
[Uh-oh,] Shreeneri said, watching another screen.
[What now?] Plexus half shouted, half moaned.
[I think we upset the bipedal being’s friends.]
Heading towards them was a creature, shouting and waving a metal object around. Even the three could tell this being was not happy.
[Still,] Shreeneri said, [at least this proves you’re right, Plexus. There does seem to be intelligent life here.] Plexus glared.
AA
“Ianto!” Jack shouted, running towards where he’d seen the other man go down. “Ianto!” Please, Jack prayed in his head, please let him be alive. Please let him have just fallen over. Any minute now Ianto would stand up and start complaining about the state of his suit. Any minute now...
Jack came to an unexpected and abrupt stop when he collided with thin air. As he stood, rubbing his head, he realised it was not thin air but a cloaking shield. He ran a hand over it before quickly navigating his way round to the other side, where he knew Ianto would be.
AA
[Okay, offer me solutions,] Plexus said.
[Let’s make a run for it,] Armatic declared, preparing to take the ship away from the ground.
[Offer me solutions that don’t involve a hit-and-run,] Plexus amended.
[Well,] Shreeneri said, looking over the latest scans, [I believe we can fix it.]
[Really?] The other two asked in unison.
[Well,] Shreeneri corrected herself, [I can, anyway. Doesn’t look too complicated.]
AA
Gwen climbed over the stupid fields around the stupid sheep to get to the stupid aliens that had done something to Ianto. She had no idea what, but he had not replied to her or Jack and now Jack had gone silent...
She saw Jack, crouching down in the grass with his back to her. His shoulders were shaking and the dread that had been slowly worming its way through her kicked up a notch. She raced the last few meters, almost running into Jack as she came to a dead stop when she saw...
“Oh no,” she whimpered. “Please no...”
AA
[Hey look, there’s another one,] Armatic said as Shreeneri and Plexus set-up. [They really don’t seem happy about this.]
[And whose fault is that?] Plexus snapped.
[Right, ready,] Shreeneri said. [Transport the life-form aboard.]
Armatic pushed the button before turning around to get a better look at the life-form. [Eugh.] He turned his head sideways. [Well, that half seems intact.]
Shreeneri was fiddling with a small device and glow enveloped the creature. [Ah, good, still alive. That makes things easier. There’s a lot of waste material here... It’ll have to be duplicated... Armatic, get me scans of the other two creatures.]
[Are you thinking reconstruction?] Plexus asked.
[Reconstruction,] Shreeneri affirmed.
[Got the scans, transferring them to you now,] Armatic called over. [Wow, the grey one is really pissed off.]
AA
The minute Ianto - Ianto’s body - he - it disappeared, Jack roared and rose up, all terrible fury and burning pain. Gwen jumped back in surprise as he launched himself at the ship, banging his fists against the invisible side. “Give him back!” Jack yelled. “Give him back, you bastards!”
Gwen watched, too emotionally stretched to do anything but sit there and watch as her boss, her friend lashed out against those who took his lover. Who had killed Ianto and then taken his body - what was left of his body -
The bile rose quickly in her throat, making her turn and fall forward, expelling it immediately. Oh god, she thought. Ianto.
She didn’t even notice the sobs raking through her body and the sound of Jack’s fist pounding against the ship became just background noise.
AA
Shreeneri was looking over the scans, trying to discern what was typical of the species and what was typical of the individual. The two samples she had were different from each other, and she was once again reminded that aliens evolved entirely differently than they did.
[You’d better hurry up, he’s not going to stop,] Armatic said.
[I’m trying to make sense of this,] Shreeneri replied distractedly. [Which type is this, or perhaps...]
[Perhaps you might want to work quicker,] Plexus suggested.
[I’m going as fast as I can!] Shreeneri retorted. [This isn’t easy, you know. Do you want me to get it right or do you want it done as fast as possible, because -]
[Right now? As fast as possible,] Plexus replied.
[Why?]
[Because the bluey-grey one has stopped banging and is heading back to it’s petroleum-fuelled vehicle,] Plexus said. [And I think it’s going to bring some of the incendiary devices back with it.]
AA
Gwen came out of her daze as Jack came back, carrying a large bag with him. “Jack?” She said, wiping her cheek and turning to look at him. “Jack, what’re you doing?” Jack didn’t reply. He set down the bag and unzipped it, fetching out small brown parcels and setting them near the base of the ship they couldn’t see.
“What is that?” Gwen asked, crawling closer. Once she’d gotten a good look at them, she jumped back in surprise. “C4?” She said, staring at it. “C4!” Jack continued to stack the packages. There certainly were a lot of them. “Jack, no! You can’t use C4 on them!”
“Why not? They killed Ianto, I’m going to kill them. Eye for an eye.” Jack seemed calm, too calm.
It was the grief, Gwen thought. Making him irrational. “Jack, you can’t blow them up!”
“Yes I can,” he said as the pile got bigger.
“With that much C4 there’ll be no field left! You’ll blow away half the countryside! Why do we even have this much C4?” Gwen said. “I can’t believe we’ve been driving around with that in the car this whole time!”
“We have it in case some alien kills one of my team,” Jack replied, “so that I can blow them up and make them wish they had never even heard of earth.”
“Jack, if you blow them up you’ll be blowing him up too!” Gwen tried, her voice catching on ‘him.’
Jack rounded on her then, that cold gaze fixed on her with so much pain searing in its depth. “I would rather blow him up then let them have his body for a minute longer than I have to.”
AA
[I think they’re going to try and blow us up!] Armatic exclaimed. [That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?]
Plexus and Shreeneri ignored him. [Almost done,] Shreeneri said, her fingers flying over her version of a keyboard.
[Too slow,] Plexus complained. He looked over the screen and said, [Look, if we just put this and this-]
[Wait, what are you doing? Get off!] Shreeneri objected as Plexus stabbed at the keyboard before taking it off her.
[Look, the basics are all there, it’s good to go,] Plexus said, holding the keyboard out of her reach while he typed.
[You can’t just shove everything in and hope for the best!]
[Too late,] Plexus replied and hit the enter button.
There was silence before the Reconstruction Machine™ the body had been transferred to let out a long whistle and whirred. Discs twirled and raced around the outside of the metal casing and there were many flashing lights. It shook and the mechanics roared into life, whizzing inside, working to duplicate the material provided and include what was programmed. The whole process took about five minutes (during which Plexus nervously watched the two beings outside as they apparently argued) before the machine let out steam from the top and bottom in great plumes, the lights fading and the workings coming to a standstill. The front opened with a cheerful ping. The three gathered in front and looked inside at their creation.
AA
“I know, Jack, and it hurts me too, but maybe we should try talking to them or something first!” Gwen protested. “You’re going to end up killing us too, and I don’t come back from that.”
Jack stopped and turned to look at her, the pain in his eyes breaking her heart. He started to reply but whatever he would have said was cut off by a panel in the ship appearing and lowing noisily down. Jack and Gwen spun around, Jack instinctively blocking her body with his own. Three shapes emerged, looking almost insect-like with their long thin legs. Jack had his gun out in an instant and had it trained on them.
One of the aliens held out its hands while another tapped on a device. Something else floated out of the ship, another figure that seemed to be lying down...
“Ianto!” Jack said, almost dropping his gun as he rushed forward. The man was naked, but blessedly whole, unconscious but breathing. Jack took him in his arms, pulling him away from the aliens and their ship and Ianto turned into a dead weight in his arms. Jack laid him out on the grass, looking him over. Before, when he was dead, his lower half and one hand were almost completely blown away. Now he had legs again, everything again, and it all looked pale and brand new, devoid of hair and standing out against his upper body which was pink and hairy.
Jack took off his coat and spread it over the other man gently, pausing to brush a hand over his face. Gwen was sitting beside Ianto now, staring at him as though she had never seen anything like him before.
Jack turned to the aliens, who were all standing watching them, and unless he was very much mistaken, shifting nervously.
“I should blow you up for this,” Jack threatened.
[What did he say?] Plexus asked as Armatic fetched out the translator.
[He should blow us off...]
Plexus paused. [Off?]
[Up, sorry, up.]
[Tell him we’d rather he didn’t.]
[What do you mean, tell him? I don’t speak alien anymore than you do,] Armatic protested.
[Give me that,] Shreeneri said, taking the translator off him. She typed into it then held it up for the angry one to see.
Jack peered at the screen. ‘We apologise profoundly for your lack of cheese. We have restored cheese and will be leaving this planet immediately.’
“Cheese?”
[Ah, typo,] Shreeneri said after reading his response.
‘Person.’
“You think that’s good enough?” Jack demanded. “You killed him!”
‘We also reconstructed him.’
Jack glared before he glanced back at Ianto’s prostrate form. “Will he be okay? What did you do to him?”
He watched as the one typed, the others making burbling noises at it. Eventually, she held out the tablet again for Jack to see.
‘He will be fine with rest. He should not do any strenuous activity for three planetary rotations. We duplicated the material and used samples from scans of your bodies to form the missing tissue. While not his original form, it is preferable to the alternative.’
Well, Jack couldn’t argue with that. “When will he wake up?”
Shreeneri paused as she tried to formulate an answer. Technically, he should wake up in sixteen Tanathals, but that would not mean anything to these creatures. She typed, ‘Soon. Ish.’
Jack nodded. “I want you off this planet. Now. And don’t even think of ever coming back.”
Shreeneri read the screen and nodded. [I believe we should go,] she told Plexus.
[What? I thought maybe now we fixed their friend we could try for that interplanetary alliance...] Plexus whined. Shreeneri held out the device for him to see. [Although there is that violet planet we went past a few solar systems over that might be worth our attention. Come on, Armatic, let’s get out of here before it decides to blow us up anyway.]
The three hurried back onto the ship as Jack and Gwen carried Ianto away from the ship and there was a great roar from the ship as the engines fired up, before the slight shimmer in the air disappeared up into the sky.
Jack couldn’t stop staring at Ianto. He was alive again, breathing in his arms. He carried him draped in his arms to the SUV and carefully laid him out across the back seat, tucking his coat around him. He turned back to Gwen who met his eyes. Apparently that was all it took for her defences to shatter and she launched herself into his arms, sobbing and holding him tight.
“I know,” he said, stroking her hair. “I know.”
AA
Ianto woke up lying on one of the sofas in the Hub. He blinked and looked around him. Had he passed out? How embarrassing. The teasing from Jack would never cease. He frowned as he tried to remember what had happened. They went out to investigate a strange energy reading in the middle of the countryside, there was a ship and then... He drew a blank. That must have been when he fainte- passed out, he corrected himself. ‘Passed out’ didn’t sound quite so girly as ‘fainted.’
He sat up and noticed he was covered only with a blanket. Probably Jack’s fault, he thought. He wrapped it around his waist and stood, only to fall straight back down again.
“Ianto?” He heard Jack call.
“Down here,” Ianto replied, rubbing his legs. His legs that didn’t quite look right. Had Jack shaved them too?
“Ianto,” he heard Jack breathe behind him.
“If this is your idea of a joke I’m not amused,” Ianto said. “What have you done with my clothes and why the hell have you shaved my legs?” When he didn’t get a reply he turned slightly to look at Jack. Jack was staring at him like he was about to burst into tears. Whoa. “I meant,” Ianto said, trying to back-pedal, “you could have at least consulted me first, and I really liked that tie I had on, so-“
He was cut off when Jack leapt on him, knocking him back against the sofa and nearly blocking off his air supply with the ferocity of his hug.
“Jack?” Ianto heard Gwen call. “Is everything - Ianto!”
Jack pulled back and Ianto managed, “Hi Gwen, did something-“ He didn’t manage to finish that sentence either as he found his arms now full of Gwen. “Okay, we’re all happy to see me. Anyone mind telling me what’s going on?”
AA
Ianto stared at his two teammates after they had finished explaining. They had moved up to the conference room, Ianto being assisted by Jack as his legs felt so weak. Ianto then stared down at his legs. He knew something had looked odd about them, not including the lack of hair, but this...
“Huh,” he said. “Well, this is weird...”
“Tell me about it,” Gwen agreed.
“They said you should rest three days,” Jack said. “Well, they said no strenuous activity, so...”
Ianto nodded absently as he gazed at his left hand, flexing it into a fist and back again. It was definitely his hand, being attached to his arm and all, but it didn’t look the same as it used to. For one thing it was a lot smoother, having not been used for anything yet, and his thumb was slightly bigger, he was sure...
“Right, Gwen, go home,” Jack said. “You’ve been here waiting for Ianto to wake and he’s awake now and fine, so go home and get some rest. Ianto can sleep here for a few days so I can keep an eye on him.” Ianto thought about protesting to being talked about as though he wasn’t there, but in the end he was too tired to say anything.
Gwen came around and hugged him again, placing a kiss on his cheek and telling him to get better soon before she and Jack disappeared off to have a quiet conversation. Ianto laid his head on the conference table and stared at his new hand as he drifted off to sleep.
AA
It took five days to convince Jack he was well enough to work, and a further three days before he could entice Jack back into his bed. In the end, he thought Jack only gave in because Ianto promised Jack could give him a full body inspection.
“You’re bigger,” Jack commented, as he slid his hands up Ianto’s legs.
“You noticed that too, huh?” Ianto said with a grin.
“Well,” Jack said, in-between his licks of Ianto’s newly enlarged anatomy, “they did say they used scans of us to reconstruct material. Guess they used me as a basis.”
Ianto hissed and said, “You’re so full of yourself.”
“Wouldn’t you like to be full of me too?”
Ianto gasped out a laugh and said, “God yes.”
Jack grinned as he stroked a hand down across Ianto before he suddenly paused. “Ianto,” he asked carefully. “Have you always had a vagina?”