but now i see what was waiting for me (snsd, yulsic/taeny/yulti, T, 1/1)

[alexriley]

Title: but now i see what was waiting for me
Pairing: yuri/jessica | taeyeon/tiffany | onesided!yuri/tiffany
Fandom: So Nyuh Shi Dae
Rating: T
Notes: I own nothing except for the plot. This fic involves real people and the pairings are female/female. If either offends you, please skip ahead. No harm intended nor copyright infringement of any kind. This

Comments

[timhyun]

Wow that was really sad.

I liked how you wrote this, I could clearly feel the emotions Yuri was going through.

It's pretty rare (at least for me) to see Royal Family fanfics with this kind of problem. Usually it goes, Yulsic, Taeny and some other character comes in between them, but it's a first for me to read them having an internal struggle, where the love triangle is just within the four of them.

I do think you wrote too many "She started to wonder..." paragraphs. I understand it's for emphasis, but maybe there was just too many.

Other than that, everything else was good. It was a really good story :)

[alexriley]

Yeah, I was in the mood to write something angsty last night. I had a pretty interesting night that led to this fic.

Descriptions is how I roll when it comes to angst, for some reason... only for angst... Eep!

Yeah, I've noticed on all the fanfiction sites dedicated to SNSD that there haven't been internal struggles with the Royal Families. What you said is true, with YulSic and TaeNy there is usually a secondary character trying to create the love triangle, but I wanted to try something new. Even with my other fic, United We Stand, I hint at the Royal Family in the latest chapter.

For the "She started to wonder...", I edited that. I actually posted this right after I finished writing it which was past midnight and only now did I read it over. I just realized how repetitive I got, so I rewrote that part so it wouldn't be so repetitive.

Thanks for the comment :) !!

[tina_cheewy]

Hoo.. let me guess.. So Yuri likes Fany, but TaeNy is together, and Sica likes Yuri haha~~
i'm so smart!!! xD man~~ jk jk, it's obvious who is who.. but if you didn't give a hint about Sica, i will not know who is who keke~~ nice nice job~~

[alexriley]

Haha yes! Yuri likes Fany, but in the end (not really... more like since the beginning) it was TaeNy, then Sica likes Yuri. Haha, honestly you can read this fic as Jessica watching Yuri and Fany or Taeyeon watching Yuri and Fany or Jessica and Fany. Honestly, you can read this fic as many ways you want until you get to the ending where I clearly hinted that the girl who chased after Yuri was Jessica. And if I didn't say who the pairings were in the title haha!

Thanks for the comment!

[anonymous]

Hallloo.
Well. If i were to sum up my immediate emotions after reading this, I would say i feel....a mixture of sad and glad, and then confused. It's just me, but i dislike too many..'she' s i feel it cuts flow when she and her refer to 2 or even possibly 3 people as is the case in one of the paragraphs.
enough constructive criticism.

you've written it really well, capturing the angst and regret. dayum. Regret was the hook for me. I know the text is good, but paying attention to spacing was good too. The whole part before she tripped on the side walk. Well spaced. Leaves greater impact for each line.

but the last part
“I’m sorry for what I did.”

She quietly whispered into the girl’s ear

i gather you left it so that the dialogue would hit like a sledgehammer, but i think having the description on the same line would be ... more proper? bleh. I'm picky aren't I?

Overall, a job well done. I couldn't even see the writer that i know within this oneshot.

[anonymous]

aigoo. I read the previous posts. and literally went wtheck.
In my mind, it played out like 3 characters. but once you pointed out the idea of 4, it stuck and i slapped my forehead thinking how in the world i missed that

[ohsugarandsalt]

I really like this piece. There's a really serene quality about it, aside from the initial angst.

I especially liked the scene where Yuri just lies under the rain. I'm not sure if I'm interpreting it in the same way as you wrote it, but sometimes when you feel like you're at your worst, you find beauty in the smallest things.