(Untitled)

[alexandrahhh]

Admissions Essay (2 pages Maximum) including the following

Comments

[fabricatedair]

in the second paragraph:
I had even played with the idea of someday opening my own boutique one day

cut either someday or one day

otherwise I think it sounds really good

[safepockets]

this is really well written

[thegroundfolds1]

"However, I have confidently state that I have always had an interest in both the fashion industry and in visual arts and design."

Otherwise its super :)

[stfxup_lauren]

i think it's good but ease up on those commas a bit, a lot of them are arbitrary.

[stfxup_lauren]

if you need someone to actually like EDIT edit it then i could help if you wanted. or mary is good at that sort of thing too.

[alexandrahhh]

if you wouldn't mind that'd be cool . specifically for grammar. i haven't taken an English class since i graduated high school so i am really rusty haha. I have one other person who is going to help me out with everything but the more help, the better!

[stfxup_lauren]

~grammar is my specialty~

[alexandrahhh]

good haha. i know i am horrible at commas and all that. i wrote it with the idea that i'd have people help me get all that fixed.