A Woman Undone: Part 50/?
Hello There! Now, is it a coincidence that this part comes at such a nice number - part 50? That's all I'm gonna say. Except this: I dedicate this update to my baby because she's the "One and only key to my heart." Enjoy everyone. Happy Fiftieth!
Part 50
By the time Alex got back to her office after leaving the precinct, it was very late in the afternoon. She had so much work that needed to be done, but luckily for her she didn’t have a real desire to go home any time soon especially since she knew that Olivia was going to stop by her office later on tonight before she headed home. The look on the detective’s face when she whispered the words, “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about tonight,” sent a shiver through Alex’s body. Even though earlier she may have dreaded talking to her especially after talking to Madison and then seeing her with Robin, now she was greatly intrigued. It was that smile - that coy but confident smile that spread so easily across her perfect lips. It was those eyes - those beautiful, brown, full of passion eyes that just bore right through Alex’s soul. It was that face - that genuine, compassionate, wonderfully kind face that made Alex catch her breath every time she saw it. It was her. It was Olivia Benson - the one and only key to her heart.
Alex spent the next few hours preparing for tomorrow’s arraignment and her appearance in front of Judge Lena Petrovsky. Alex’s history with this particular judge hadn’t started off well. It was only after her first appearance in her courtroom that she found out that Petrovsky had a reputation for bullying the young Assistant District Attorneys, especially the ones who she deemed were too arrogant for their own good. Her idea of arrogance was found in the attorneys who were perhaps slightly more skilled in the art of rhetoric than she was. Alex had been unaware of this when she had her first arraignment with her, and she made the mistake of overzealously arguing her point, to which Petrovsky only glared at her with disapproving eyes and denied her request for remand. Alex wanted to believe that the judge had denied the motion based on pure legalities, but she was never quite sure about it. And now, tomorrow, she was to be in her courtroom again to argue a case that she really couldn’t afford to lose.
The next few hours passed by extremely quickly for Alex. The later it got, the fewer interruptions she had, and the more she was able to get done. Taking a break, she leaned back in her chair and stretched out her arms before standing up from her desk. Having kicked off her shoes quite a while ago, she padded barefoot to her office door and peeked her head outside. The hallway was completely quiet and the offices next to hers were dark. It seemed that she was the only one left for the night, which wasn’t uncommon. Leaving the door slightly open, she walked back to her desk and sat down with a sigh.
“Is this a bad time?” came a voice from the doorway.
Alex’s head shot up as her eyes caught sight of the detective standing just outside her office with her head peeking in through the door.
“Olivia, hi,” she greeted her enthusiastically, managing to cover up how startled she’d been at first to hear her voice amidst the silence. “Come on in.”
The detective walked inside, quietly closing the door behind her, and stood somewhat awkwardly in the middle of Alex’s office with both hands resting in her back pockets. The two women exchanged gazes before either of them said anything else. Alex leaned forward in her chair, crossing both arms and resting them on her desk as she studied the woman in front of her. Even after all this time, even after everything they’d been through, Olivia still took Alex’s breath away. She didn’t even have to say anything and Alex would listen, completely captivated by her mere presence, entirely entranced by her very essence.
“Do you want something to drink?” Alex finally asked, swiveling around in her chair to grab the bottle of scotch and the two glasses that were inside the cabinet behind her.
Olivia laughed out loud, smiling as she did. “No thank you, Alex,” she said to her back.
Alex set down the glasses and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. Hearing Olivia say her name like that made her insides melt and her cheeks flush. It made her hands shake with nervousness and her entire body burn with desire - all because she said her name. Composing herself as best she could, Alex turned back around in her chair to face the detective who had taken a seat in front of her.
“So, uh, things for the Tennyson case are really moving along,” Alex blurted out, having thought of nothing better to say.
Olivia barely nodded her head in agreement. “Luckily, Richard’s client is an idiot,” she said very plainly as she crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap, her eyes never leaving the ADA.
Alex laughed nervously as she looked at the scattered files mixed in with the various open books on her desk. “Well, his client may be an idiot, but Richard certainly isn’t,” she said as she lifted her eyebrows and rubbed the spot over her left eye.
“You’re still worried, aren’t you?” Olivia asked her with concern.
Alex looked directly at her, conveying the affirmative with just her eyes before she said, “Every case I try always has its worries. It’s just a part of the job.”
“Alex, you’ve got to learn that another part of this job is trusting your detectives,” Olivia said, “Trusting that we’ve done the right thing, that we’ve done it the right way, and that we know the system. We know how it works, and we’re not going to do anything that’s going to mess you up later on.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Olivia.”
“Then what is it?” she asked, trying to keep her calm. “You don’t honestly think that Richard’s going to find this hole that you’re so concerned about, do you?”
“I think that…” Alex paused. She stood up and walked around her desk to the couch set against the wall and sat down. As Olivia turned her chair to the side to face her, Alex continued, “I think that you sell your soul to become a criminal defense attorney, and as a result, when you’re in that courtroom you have no conscience to fall back on. It doesn’t matter what you do or who you do it to as long as it helps you win.”
Olivia walked over and sat on the arm of the couch next to her, looking very much confused by what she was hearing from the usually confident ADA. “You’ve dealt with scum like him before, Alex, what’s…”
“Yeah, but now it’s personal,” she interrupted her.
Olivia uncrossed her legs and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she stared intently at Alex. “Don’t let it become personal. You’re better than that. You’re very capable of keeping the personal and the professional parts of your life separate even when they threaten to overlap. Believe me, I know.”
“What exactly is that supposed to mean, Olivia?” Alex shot back, glaring up at her from her seat on the couch.
“I think you know what it means,” the detective answered calmly.
“No, tell me,” Alex demanded. “You said you wanted to come here to talk, so talk.”
“Why are you with him, Alex?” Olivia suddenly shouted, not able to keep it in any longer. “Why are you with someone who’s so pompous and arrogant that it’s sickening just being around him?”
“Well, why are you with Robin?” Alex retorted even though she knew that mentioning her name was only going to make things worse.
“Who said I’m with Robin?” Olivia asked in disbelief as she stood up and looked down at the ADA with her hands on her hips.
“Oh c’mon, Olivia. She was hanging all over you at the banquet, and she was there at the precinct this afternoon. I mean how could you resist?”
“What are you saying? That I fuck everything that moves?” the detective shot back angrily.
“Well you obviously couldn’t resist her,” Alex said sarcastically. “You two certainly looked comfy together during lunch today.”
Olivia’s eyes widened at Alex’s confession that she’d seen her and Robin at the bistro. “Were you spying on me, Alex?”
“Get real, Olivia. I pass by that place every time I go back to my office. You know that.”
“What do you want from me, Alex?” Olivia asked with increased frustration and anger as she paced a few steps back in forth.
“Why are you with her?”
“I’m not with her.”
“Why are you with her?” Alex asked again, though louder this time. “What are you doing with her?”
“What do want me to do, Alex?” Olivia shouted. “Do you want me to just cross my legs and wait for you to get over whatever it is that you’re having issues with?”
“So you do want to fuck her,” Alex said snidely.
“What’s the point of answering that if you already think that I fuck everything that moves?” Olivia argued back.
“I never said that, Olivia. Don’t put words in my mouth,” Alex said with warning in her tone. “If you think you can beat me with rhetoric, you’re sorely mistaken.”
“Oh Jesus,” Olivia said as she stopped pacing and glared at her, “You and Richard belong together.”
“Yeah, and I’m sure Robin’s exactly what you’re looking for,” came the ADA’s quick and spiteful response.
“Oh fuck you, Alex,” Olivia yelled before she turned around and quickly walked away.
Just as Olivia reached door, she stopped with her hand resting on the doorknob. Alex sat on the couch watching her, wondering why she hadn’t stormed out already. This wasn’t how she expected this conversation to go. She wanted them both to be bigger than that, better than that, better than coming to a screaming match that would never solve anything. And seeing Olivia standing there about to walk out yet again forced her to swallow her pride and her anger and ask the question she feared the answer to.
“Is she, Olivia?” Alex asked with a tremor in her voice.
“Is who what?” Olivia answered, her back to the ADA and her hand still on the doorknob.
“Is Robin everything that I’m not?”
Olivia slowly turned around to face her. Alex looked so dejected and meek. Seeing her there, no one would have ever guessed that she was an aggressive prosecuting attorney with great prospects in the near future. Sitting there on the couch, engulfed by sadness, she looked like an innocent young child whose heart could break at a single word.
“What did Madison tell you today?” Olivia asked quietly.
“What? Why aren’t you answering my question, Olivia?”
“What did Madison tell you?” she repeated.
Alex looked at her completely confused. “She told me the things you said to her when you guys had lunch.”
The detective took a few steps towards her with a look of sympathy and kindness on her face. “Then you should already know the answer to your question.”
“Olivia, please don’t play games with me. Just tell me,” Alex pleaded.
“Yes, Robin is everything that you’re not,” Olivia whispered, “But you’re everything that I want.”
As if she’d never cried a day in her life and all her tears had been bottled up inside of her, Alex began sobbing into her hands. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably as Olivia kneeled down in front of her and surrounded her hands with her own.
“Goddamn you, Alexandra Cabot,” Olivia said to her as their foreheads touched. “I never wanted to love you. Even now, I don’t know if I want to. You’re a pain in the ass to love,” she said with a laugh. “But all of that aside, I know that I do love you. I can’t overlook it anymore. I can’t ignore it. And I know that I’ll wait for you. However long it takes. I’ll wait for you.”
Alex peeked out from behind her hands and moved her head back a little so she could look into the detective’s eyes.
“You’ll wait?”
“What other choice do I have?” Olivia answered. “All the Robins and the nameless nobodies in the world aren’t going to take this feeling away. I’ll wait for you.”
“A million chances?” Alex asked with a weak smile.
Olivia shook her head. “A million and one.”
Alex looked up with teary eyes as she licked her bottom lip and stared intensely at the detective. Olivia caught the subtle movement right away, as her brown eyes grew darker with intent. Placing one hand on each side of Alex’s body, she leaned forward and quickly captured her mouth with her own. Alex immediately responded to the kiss, opening her mouth wide to allow Olivia’s tongue to explore her. She wrapped her hands behind Olivia’s neck as she felt the smooth texture of her hair pass through her fingers. Her body ached for this woman - to be touched, to be fucked, to be controlled. Alex needed her like she needed air to breathe. She felt incredible - her skin, her lips, her tongue. The way she moved it inside of her mouth like that was enough to already make Alex wet and throbbing.
Olivia breathed in Alex’s scent and drank in her taste as their tongues massaged against each other. She grabbed Alex by the waist with both hands and slid her forward on the couch, her skirt rising up her thighs as she moved. Alex reached down and pushed the fabric further up her legs, inviting the detective to come between them. Still on her knees, Olivia positioned her body between Alex’s thighs as she reached around behind her and pulled her closer. Alex could feel Olivia’s belt buckle pressed firmly against her clit. This was no dream. This was no fantasy. This was real, and Alex wanted it more than anything.
She began grinding hard against the detective as she leaned back on the couch, gripping Olivia’s jacket collar in both hands. Olivia’s strong hands squeezed Alex’s tiny frame as she pushed and pulled her body against her own. Alex closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as she concentrated on the hot sensations growing between her legs. How wet she was. How aching and throbbing. How desperate she was to have Olivia inside of her. Using Olivia’s jacket as leverage, she pulled herself forward as their mouths collided together again. With their lips never breaking apart, Alex aggressively slid the leather coat off of Olivia’s shoulders while the detective reached behind her to pull it completely off. Discarding it on the floor, Olivia roughly slid her hands up the outsides of Alex’s thighs. She leaned back again, moaning at Olivia’s touch, needing more of her. Alex grabbed the detective by her shirt and pulled her down on top of her so that their bodies matched head to toe. Still between her legs, Olivia ground her hips against the blonde, knowing she could make her cum with just that motion.
“Wait,” Olivia suddenly said, stopping the movement of her hips.
Alex’s eyes flew open as she looked up at the woman above her. “What? What’s wrong?” she asked between staggered breaths.
“Let’s get out of here,” Olivia said.
“What? Why?”
“I don’t want to do this here,” she admitted as she looked around at their surroundings. The messy desk, the shelves full of law books, and the idea that someone could walk in on them at any moment didn’t exactly set the mood for her. “Come home with me.”
“I can’t wait that long. I need you,” Alex whispered in her ear as she took Olivia’s hand and led it between her legs and underneath her skirt, shoving her fingers beneath the fabric of her panties. Feeling how wet she was made Olivia moan, and all thoughts of going anywhere quickly escaped her head.
Olivia slowly slid two fingers deep inside of Alex’s pussy as her eyes slammed shut. “You have to be quiet,” she warned.
“No one’s here,” Alex responded, barely even able to speak.
Olivia moved her hips in motion with her hand so that every movement of her body caused her fingers to thrust deep inside of Alex. Gripping the armrest behind her head with one hand, Alex massaged her clit with the other. Olivia reached in front of her to grip the same armrest as she buried her face in Alex’s neck, breathing heavily against her skin, fucking her harder and harder, thrusting deeper and deeper, moving faster and faster. When she could feel Alex begin to clench around her fingers, she pushed herself up to look into her eyes. Alex stared back at her for a moment before closing her eyes again to focus on her impending orgasm. As she massaged her clit and felt Olivia’s fingers deep inside of her - moving, curling, fucking her - she began to quiver and her breaths began to shorten. With one final thrust, Alex’s entire body was lost to the intense pleasures exploding inside of her. She opened her mouth to scream but Olivia immediately covered her mouth with her own, stifling her moans as she pushed inside of her one last time.
Collapsing on top of her, Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex’s small frame, feeling her shake underneath her. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, both afraid to disrupt the moment with the complications their words tended to bring. They lied there together, reveling in the other’s beauty, lavishing the other with their love, and coming together in a sort of serenity that neither could explain. It was comfort, but it reached beyond that too. It was affection, but it was stronger. It was an understanding, but it was more. It was them. And it couldn’t be described.
As if the moment was too perfect, Alex’s cell phone rang shrilly from across the room. Olivia and Alex looked at each other and registered the regret they both felt at having the moment interrupted. Olivia quickly lifted herself up and sat on the couch as she watched Alex get up, straighten out her skirt, and run to her desk to answer her phone. She didn’t have to say anything. Olivia knew who it was. And it made her sick.
Alex said very few words before she hung up the phone and turned to face Olivia. She walked over to the detective who immediately stood up when she approached her. The hurt in Olivia’s eyes was apparent. Even though she’d promised Alex that she’d wait for her, a part of her still wanted Alex to be hers now. She didn’t want to share her, but she also knew that if she didn’t give her time, she’d lose her all together. Alex reached up and grabbed Olivia by the back of the neck, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. Olivia wanted to fight her off, but she couldn’t. She melted into it instead, touching everything she could of this woman before they had to part ways. When their lips finally parted, their breathing was heavy and erratic. Olivia pressed her forehead to Alex’s as she stood there holding her hands, feeling like her heart was breaking but was becoming whole at the same time.
“Come home with me,” Olivia whispered in the silence of the office.
“You know I can’t do that,” Alex answered with pain and wishful thinking apparent in her voice.
“Yeah, I know,” Olivia sighed before moving her head back to look at her. “I know.”
Olivia bent down to pick up her coat and slipped it on. “I don’t want to say anything about tonight,” she said even though there was so much that she did want to say. “I can’t…I don’t want to be…” Her words trailed off as she headed towards the door and reached for the knob, but stopped just like before. “I don’t want to say anything about tonight,” she said again before opening the door and leaving.
Alex helplessly watched her go, like a dream caught in the wind floating away from her grasp. It was like she couldn’t go after her even though she desperately wanted to. She rubbed eyes with her fingertips and took a deep breath before she walked back to her desk to straighten things up. As she stood there staring at the files in front of her, her eyes flew to the door. Reaching for her cell phone she dialed Richard’s number.
“Hello,” he answered.
“I’m not coming home tonight.”
Part 50
By the time Alex got back to her office after leaving the precinct, it was very late in the afternoon. She had so much work that needed to be done, but luckily for her she didn’t have a real desire to go home any time soon especially since she knew that Olivia was going to stop by her office later on tonight before she headed home. The look on the detective’s face when she whispered the words, “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about tonight,” sent a shiver through Alex’s body. Even though earlier she may have dreaded talking to her especially after talking to Madison and then seeing her with Robin, now she was greatly intrigued. It was that smile - that coy but confident smile that spread so easily across her perfect lips. It was those eyes - those beautiful, brown, full of passion eyes that just bore right through Alex’s soul. It was that face - that genuine, compassionate, wonderfully kind face that made Alex catch her breath every time she saw it. It was her. It was Olivia Benson - the one and only key to her heart.
Alex spent the next few hours preparing for tomorrow’s arraignment and her appearance in front of Judge Lena Petrovsky. Alex’s history with this particular judge hadn’t started off well. It was only after her first appearance in her courtroom that she found out that Petrovsky had a reputation for bullying the young Assistant District Attorneys, especially the ones who she deemed were too arrogant for their own good. Her idea of arrogance was found in the attorneys who were perhaps slightly more skilled in the art of rhetoric than she was. Alex had been unaware of this when she had her first arraignment with her, and she made the mistake of overzealously arguing her point, to which Petrovsky only glared at her with disapproving eyes and denied her request for remand. Alex wanted to believe that the judge had denied the motion based on pure legalities, but she was never quite sure about it. And now, tomorrow, she was to be in her courtroom again to argue a case that she really couldn’t afford to lose.
The next few hours passed by extremely quickly for Alex. The later it got, the fewer interruptions she had, and the more she was able to get done. Taking a break, she leaned back in her chair and stretched out her arms before standing up from her desk. Having kicked off her shoes quite a while ago, she padded barefoot to her office door and peeked her head outside. The hallway was completely quiet and the offices next to hers were dark. It seemed that she was the only one left for the night, which wasn’t uncommon. Leaving the door slightly open, she walked back to her desk and sat down with a sigh.
“Is this a bad time?” came a voice from the doorway.
Alex’s head shot up as her eyes caught sight of the detective standing just outside her office with her head peeking in through the door.
“Olivia, hi,” she greeted her enthusiastically, managing to cover up how startled she’d been at first to hear her voice amidst the silence. “Come on in.”
The detective walked inside, quietly closing the door behind her, and stood somewhat awkwardly in the middle of Alex’s office with both hands resting in her back pockets. The two women exchanged gazes before either of them said anything else. Alex leaned forward in her chair, crossing both arms and resting them on her desk as she studied the woman in front of her. Even after all this time, even after everything they’d been through, Olivia still took Alex’s breath away. She didn’t even have to say anything and Alex would listen, completely captivated by her mere presence, entirely entranced by her very essence.
“Do you want something to drink?” Alex finally asked, swiveling around in her chair to grab the bottle of scotch and the two glasses that were inside the cabinet behind her.
Olivia laughed out loud, smiling as she did. “No thank you, Alex,” she said to her back.
Alex set down the glasses and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. Hearing Olivia say her name like that made her insides melt and her cheeks flush. It made her hands shake with nervousness and her entire body burn with desire - all because she said her name. Composing herself as best she could, Alex turned back around in her chair to face the detective who had taken a seat in front of her.
“So, uh, things for the Tennyson case are really moving along,” Alex blurted out, having thought of nothing better to say.
Olivia barely nodded her head in agreement. “Luckily, Richard’s client is an idiot,” she said very plainly as she crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap, her eyes never leaving the ADA.
Alex laughed nervously as she looked at the scattered files mixed in with the various open books on her desk. “Well, his client may be an idiot, but Richard certainly isn’t,” she said as she lifted her eyebrows and rubbed the spot over her left eye.
“You’re still worried, aren’t you?” Olivia asked her with concern.
Alex looked directly at her, conveying the affirmative with just her eyes before she said, “Every case I try always has its worries. It’s just a part of the job.”
“Alex, you’ve got to learn that another part of this job is trusting your detectives,” Olivia said, “Trusting that we’ve done the right thing, that we’ve done it the right way, and that we know the system. We know how it works, and we’re not going to do anything that’s going to mess you up later on.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Olivia.”
“Then what is it?” she asked, trying to keep her calm. “You don’t honestly think that Richard’s going to find this hole that you’re so concerned about, do you?”
“I think that…” Alex paused. She stood up and walked around her desk to the couch set against the wall and sat down. As Olivia turned her chair to the side to face her, Alex continued, “I think that you sell your soul to become a criminal defense attorney, and as a result, when you’re in that courtroom you have no conscience to fall back on. It doesn’t matter what you do or who you do it to as long as it helps you win.”
Olivia walked over and sat on the arm of the couch next to her, looking very much confused by what she was hearing from the usually confident ADA. “You’ve dealt with scum like him before, Alex, what’s…”
“Yeah, but now it’s personal,” she interrupted her.
Olivia uncrossed her legs and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she stared intently at Alex. “Don’t let it become personal. You’re better than that. You’re very capable of keeping the personal and the professional parts of your life separate even when they threaten to overlap. Believe me, I know.”
“What exactly is that supposed to mean, Olivia?” Alex shot back, glaring up at her from her seat on the couch.
“I think you know what it means,” the detective answered calmly.
“No, tell me,” Alex demanded. “You said you wanted to come here to talk, so talk.”
“Why are you with him, Alex?” Olivia suddenly shouted, not able to keep it in any longer. “Why are you with someone who’s so pompous and arrogant that it’s sickening just being around him?”
“Well, why are you with Robin?” Alex retorted even though she knew that mentioning her name was only going to make things worse.
“Who said I’m with Robin?” Olivia asked in disbelief as she stood up and looked down at the ADA with her hands on her hips.
“Oh c’mon, Olivia. She was hanging all over you at the banquet, and she was there at the precinct this afternoon. I mean how could you resist?”
“What are you saying? That I fuck everything that moves?” the detective shot back angrily.
“Well you obviously couldn’t resist her,” Alex said sarcastically. “You two certainly looked comfy together during lunch today.”
Olivia’s eyes widened at Alex’s confession that she’d seen her and Robin at the bistro. “Were you spying on me, Alex?”
“Get real, Olivia. I pass by that place every time I go back to my office. You know that.”
“What do you want from me, Alex?” Olivia asked with increased frustration and anger as she paced a few steps back in forth.
“Why are you with her?”
“I’m not with her.”
“Why are you with her?” Alex asked again, though louder this time. “What are you doing with her?”
“What do want me to do, Alex?” Olivia shouted. “Do you want me to just cross my legs and wait for you to get over whatever it is that you’re having issues with?”
“So you do want to fuck her,” Alex said snidely.
“What’s the point of answering that if you already think that I fuck everything that moves?” Olivia argued back.
“I never said that, Olivia. Don’t put words in my mouth,” Alex said with warning in her tone. “If you think you can beat me with rhetoric, you’re sorely mistaken.”
“Oh Jesus,” Olivia said as she stopped pacing and glared at her, “You and Richard belong together.”
“Yeah, and I’m sure Robin’s exactly what you’re looking for,” came the ADA’s quick and spiteful response.
“Oh fuck you, Alex,” Olivia yelled before she turned around and quickly walked away.
Just as Olivia reached door, she stopped with her hand resting on the doorknob. Alex sat on the couch watching her, wondering why she hadn’t stormed out already. This wasn’t how she expected this conversation to go. She wanted them both to be bigger than that, better than that, better than coming to a screaming match that would never solve anything. And seeing Olivia standing there about to walk out yet again forced her to swallow her pride and her anger and ask the question she feared the answer to.
“Is she, Olivia?” Alex asked with a tremor in her voice.
“Is who what?” Olivia answered, her back to the ADA and her hand still on the doorknob.
“Is Robin everything that I’m not?”
Olivia slowly turned around to face her. Alex looked so dejected and meek. Seeing her there, no one would have ever guessed that she was an aggressive prosecuting attorney with great prospects in the near future. Sitting there on the couch, engulfed by sadness, she looked like an innocent young child whose heart could break at a single word.
“What did Madison tell you today?” Olivia asked quietly.
“What? Why aren’t you answering my question, Olivia?”
“What did Madison tell you?” she repeated.
Alex looked at her completely confused. “She told me the things you said to her when you guys had lunch.”
The detective took a few steps towards her with a look of sympathy and kindness on her face. “Then you should already know the answer to your question.”
“Olivia, please don’t play games with me. Just tell me,” Alex pleaded.
“Yes, Robin is everything that you’re not,” Olivia whispered, “But you’re everything that I want.”
As if she’d never cried a day in her life and all her tears had been bottled up inside of her, Alex began sobbing into her hands. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably as Olivia kneeled down in front of her and surrounded her hands with her own.
“Goddamn you, Alexandra Cabot,” Olivia said to her as their foreheads touched. “I never wanted to love you. Even now, I don’t know if I want to. You’re a pain in the ass to love,” she said with a laugh. “But all of that aside, I know that I do love you. I can’t overlook it anymore. I can’t ignore it. And I know that I’ll wait for you. However long it takes. I’ll wait for you.”
Alex peeked out from behind her hands and moved her head back a little so she could look into the detective’s eyes.
“You’ll wait?”
“What other choice do I have?” Olivia answered. “All the Robins and the nameless nobodies in the world aren’t going to take this feeling away. I’ll wait for you.”
“A million chances?” Alex asked with a weak smile.
Olivia shook her head. “A million and one.”
Alex looked up with teary eyes as she licked her bottom lip and stared intensely at the detective. Olivia caught the subtle movement right away, as her brown eyes grew darker with intent. Placing one hand on each side of Alex’s body, she leaned forward and quickly captured her mouth with her own. Alex immediately responded to the kiss, opening her mouth wide to allow Olivia’s tongue to explore her. She wrapped her hands behind Olivia’s neck as she felt the smooth texture of her hair pass through her fingers. Her body ached for this woman - to be touched, to be fucked, to be controlled. Alex needed her like she needed air to breathe. She felt incredible - her skin, her lips, her tongue. The way she moved it inside of her mouth like that was enough to already make Alex wet and throbbing.
Olivia breathed in Alex’s scent and drank in her taste as their tongues massaged against each other. She grabbed Alex by the waist with both hands and slid her forward on the couch, her skirt rising up her thighs as she moved. Alex reached down and pushed the fabric further up her legs, inviting the detective to come between them. Still on her knees, Olivia positioned her body between Alex’s thighs as she reached around behind her and pulled her closer. Alex could feel Olivia’s belt buckle pressed firmly against her clit. This was no dream. This was no fantasy. This was real, and Alex wanted it more than anything.
She began grinding hard against the detective as she leaned back on the couch, gripping Olivia’s jacket collar in both hands. Olivia’s strong hands squeezed Alex’s tiny frame as she pushed and pulled her body against her own. Alex closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as she concentrated on the hot sensations growing between her legs. How wet she was. How aching and throbbing. How desperate she was to have Olivia inside of her. Using Olivia’s jacket as leverage, she pulled herself forward as their mouths collided together again. With their lips never breaking apart, Alex aggressively slid the leather coat off of Olivia’s shoulders while the detective reached behind her to pull it completely off. Discarding it on the floor, Olivia roughly slid her hands up the outsides of Alex’s thighs. She leaned back again, moaning at Olivia’s touch, needing more of her. Alex grabbed the detective by her shirt and pulled her down on top of her so that their bodies matched head to toe. Still between her legs, Olivia ground her hips against the blonde, knowing she could make her cum with just that motion.
“Wait,” Olivia suddenly said, stopping the movement of her hips.
Alex’s eyes flew open as she looked up at the woman above her. “What? What’s wrong?” she asked between staggered breaths.
“Let’s get out of here,” Olivia said.
“What? Why?”
“I don’t want to do this here,” she admitted as she looked around at their surroundings. The messy desk, the shelves full of law books, and the idea that someone could walk in on them at any moment didn’t exactly set the mood for her. “Come home with me.”
“I can’t wait that long. I need you,” Alex whispered in her ear as she took Olivia’s hand and led it between her legs and underneath her skirt, shoving her fingers beneath the fabric of her panties. Feeling how wet she was made Olivia moan, and all thoughts of going anywhere quickly escaped her head.
Olivia slowly slid two fingers deep inside of Alex’s pussy as her eyes slammed shut. “You have to be quiet,” she warned.
“No one’s here,” Alex responded, barely even able to speak.
Olivia moved her hips in motion with her hand so that every movement of her body caused her fingers to thrust deep inside of Alex. Gripping the armrest behind her head with one hand, Alex massaged her clit with the other. Olivia reached in front of her to grip the same armrest as she buried her face in Alex’s neck, breathing heavily against her skin, fucking her harder and harder, thrusting deeper and deeper, moving faster and faster. When she could feel Alex begin to clench around her fingers, she pushed herself up to look into her eyes. Alex stared back at her for a moment before closing her eyes again to focus on her impending orgasm. As she massaged her clit and felt Olivia’s fingers deep inside of her - moving, curling, fucking her - she began to quiver and her breaths began to shorten. With one final thrust, Alex’s entire body was lost to the intense pleasures exploding inside of her. She opened her mouth to scream but Olivia immediately covered her mouth with her own, stifling her moans as she pushed inside of her one last time.
Collapsing on top of her, Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex’s small frame, feeling her shake underneath her. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, both afraid to disrupt the moment with the complications their words tended to bring. They lied there together, reveling in the other’s beauty, lavishing the other with their love, and coming together in a sort of serenity that neither could explain. It was comfort, but it reached beyond that too. It was affection, but it was stronger. It was an understanding, but it was more. It was them. And it couldn’t be described.
As if the moment was too perfect, Alex’s cell phone rang shrilly from across the room. Olivia and Alex looked at each other and registered the regret they both felt at having the moment interrupted. Olivia quickly lifted herself up and sat on the couch as she watched Alex get up, straighten out her skirt, and run to her desk to answer her phone. She didn’t have to say anything. Olivia knew who it was. And it made her sick.
Alex said very few words before she hung up the phone and turned to face Olivia. She walked over to the detective who immediately stood up when she approached her. The hurt in Olivia’s eyes was apparent. Even though she’d promised Alex that she’d wait for her, a part of her still wanted Alex to be hers now. She didn’t want to share her, but she also knew that if she didn’t give her time, she’d lose her all together. Alex reached up and grabbed Olivia by the back of the neck, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. Olivia wanted to fight her off, but she couldn’t. She melted into it instead, touching everything she could of this woman before they had to part ways. When their lips finally parted, their breathing was heavy and erratic. Olivia pressed her forehead to Alex’s as she stood there holding her hands, feeling like her heart was breaking but was becoming whole at the same time.
“Come home with me,” Olivia whispered in the silence of the office.
“You know I can’t do that,” Alex answered with pain and wishful thinking apparent in her voice.
“Yeah, I know,” Olivia sighed before moving her head back to look at her. “I know.”
Olivia bent down to pick up her coat and slipped it on. “I don’t want to say anything about tonight,” she said even though there was so much that she did want to say. “I can’t…I don’t want to be…” Her words trailed off as she headed towards the door and reached for the knob, but stopped just like before. “I don’t want to say anything about tonight,” she said again before opening the door and leaving.
Alex helplessly watched her go, like a dream caught in the wind floating away from her grasp. It was like she couldn’t go after her even though she desperately wanted to. She rubbed eyes with her fingertips and took a deep breath before she walked back to her desk to straighten things up. As she stood there staring at the files in front of her, her eyes flew to the door. Reaching for her cell phone she dialed Richard’s number.
“Hello,” he answered.
“I’m not coming home tonight.”