A Woman Undone: Part 35/?
Hello, my lovelies! I am here to post the next part of my story. It's a bit longer than the previous update, but I hope its quality satisifies you all. I also hope that things aren't getting stagnant between our two ladies. If they are, I promise things are going to get stirred up really soon. I look forward to writing the next parts because I have a lot of ideas that I want to put into them. So please bear with me! (Or bare with me...lol). Okay...Part 35......
Part 35
Monday morning greeted Alex with dark clouds and rain pouring down on the streets. The weather suited her mood, dark and depressed. She had fallen asleep on the couch last night after getting Olivia’s things ready, but around 2 am she climbed back into bed with Richard so as not to incur his questions in the morning as to why she was sleeping in the living room. She woke up to the smell of one hundred percent Kona coffee brewing in the kitchen, and she knew that Richard had been up for a while. She looked at the clock on her nightstand. She had no time to dawdle this morning, so she got up and quickly did her morning routine: shower, makeup, and clothes. Within thirty-five minutes, a record time for her, she was dressed and out in the kitchen grabbing a cup of coffee. She found Richard sitting at the breakfast nook reading the newspaper and eating a croissant. When she came in, he set down his paper and smiled warmly at her.
“Let me guess, you’re late,” he said with a grin.
“Yeah, very,” Alex answered quickly in between sips of coffee.
“When do you think you’ll be home tonight?”
Alex grabbed her keys, her briefcase, and the bag with Olivia’s belongings. “I don’t know. With everything that happened this weekend, it’ll probably be a late night.”
“Oh yeah, you never told me what happened to interrupt our lunch.”
“It’s, uh, just a bump in the road,” Alex responded as she rushed out of the kitchen.
“Call me later?” he called after her, overwhelmed by her bustling around.
“I’ll try,” she hollered back before slamming the front door behind her.
Alex stood in the elevator and looked at her watch. She wasn’t actually late, and she wasn’t really that eager to get to work given who she had to work with, and yet she was still rushing out of her apartment, leaving one desperate situation to face another. She decided to catch a cab to her office instead of heading to the precinct given the fact that so much work needed to be done on the Wallace case since Kimberly’s suicide, not to mention the other cases being assigned to her. Hanging up her coat and setting her briefcase by her desk, Alex stared at the bag carrying Olivia’s clothes. A part of her wanted to return the things right away just to get it over with, but another part of her dreaded it at the same time. Grabbing a pen and a case file, she put on her glasses and started to work.
Olivia walked into the precinct a little more energized than usual. She’d had her cup of coffee early after a morning run, and she looked and felt surprisingly refreshed. Her mind was clear, her energy level was up, and her dedication to punishing the perpetrators was stronger than ever. Since the news of Kimberly Duncan’s death had made its way to the precinct, Olivia was eager to do everything she could to put Michael Wallace behind bars. She knew it would mean working closely with Alex, helping her to build the strongest case possible, but she also knew that it was her job that was going to pull her through the mess they had made between them. Madison’s words still lingered in Olivia’s mind, but with the work that needed to be done today, there was little time to really focus on them.
Elliot noticed immediately how spry Olivia was this morning. He hadn’t really asked her lately how things were going between her and Alex, if they were going at all. He figured that if she wanted to tell him anything that she would do it on her own accord, and since she didn’t, he thought it best to leave the topic alone. The two detectives focused on the work at hand, finding little time to talk about their personal lives, and that suited Olivia just fine.
“Morning,” Elliot greeted her as she sat down at her desk.
“Hey,” she smiled back. “When did you get out of here yesterday?”
“I left a little after you did,” he answered, leaning back in his chair and placing his hands behind his head. “There wasn’t much that could be done on the Wallace case that didn’t involve Cabot, so I went home and spent the evening with Kathy and the kids.”
“Well that’s nice that you all got some time together. With the party and work, the weekend was pretty short.”
“Yeah,” Elliot agreed. “You were here pretty much all day yesterday, so your weekend was even shorter.”
Olivia nodded, noticing that he didn’t ask her what she had done last night after she had left the precinct, but she didn’t mind. Her late night escapades weren’t her greatest pride, so she didn’t mind keeping them to herself.
“Olivia, Elliot,” Cragen called as he approached them. “Good news. The police found a tape in Kimberly’s video camera. It’s a recording she made of her eyewitness account.”
Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, both feeling the grim nature of their job.
“Have you seen it yet?” Elliot asked.
Before Cragen could answer, a voice came from behind them.
“So it’s true?” Alex asked, rushing into the precinct. “There’s a videotape?”
Olivia turned around in her chair to see the ADA walking quickly towards them. Alex never looked better, and for a moment Olivia was bitter thinking about how wonderful her weekend must have been for her to look so good. She was wearing a high collared white blouse with a black jacket and tailored black pants. Her glasses made her look distinguished and poised and “so fucking sexy,” Olivia thought in her head.
“Alex, good morning,” Cragen said. “Yes, it’s true. They’re sending the tape down right now.”
Alex nodded her head. She made eye contact with both Elliot and Cragen, but avoided it with Olivia not knowing how well she could handle it staring into those beautiful dark brown eyes. Olivia wanted to make eye contact with her, but did nothing to catch her attention seeing how hard Alex was trying to avoid it. As they waited for the tape to be delivered, Olivia quietly excused herself and went to her locker. She didn’t need anything in it, but she felt it better to be there rather than standing next to Alex, shining a light on their obvious awkward situation. After organizing her locker for a minute or so, Olivia shut the door and walked over to the coffeemaker. Alex followed her there to pour herself a cup. At first, neither of them said anything. They could hear Elliot and Cragen talking behind them, so they knew little attention was being focused on the two of them standing next to each other not saying a word. Like a well-choreographed dance, Alex and Olivia prepared their cups of coffee. Olivia reached for two mugs and handed one to Alex. Alex filled both cups before reaching for the cream while Olivia reached for the sugar. They finished pouring at the exact same time and made the exchange. They poured again before setting both the cream and sugar down on the table together. Alex reached for two stirring sticks and handed one to Olivia. They both stirred their coffee counterclockwise, all of this done without saying a single word. Olivia glanced to the side at Alex stirring her coffee and let out a small laugh. Alex returned the glance and smiled, and for the first moment since she had arrived at the precinct this morning, her body relaxed a bit.
“How was the rest of your weekend?” Olivia asked breaking what seemed like hours of silence.
Alex fought the lump building in her throat and forced herself to answer. “It was nice. How was yours?”
“Mine was nice too,” Olivia answered, and for the first time that morning the two women made eye contact with each other.
“Alex, Liv,” Elliot called to them. “The tape’s here.”
They both continued looking at each other for a brief second before Olivia tore her eyes away to acknowledge her partner before returning them to Alex. She could see the pain in Alex’s eyes as hard as she was trying to conceal it. Olivia grimaced as she left her standing there and followed her partner to one of the interrogation rooms to watch the tape. Alex inhaled deeply before joining the two detectives and Captain Cragen.
The tape was everything that Alex expected and feared it would be. Throughout the viewing, Olivia kept glancing over at the ADA to see her reaction to what could be important evidence for the case. She was surprised to see Alex’s distress and disappointment. The look on her face was one of calculation as she tried to figure out a way to use the recording in court.
“So this is all I have,” came Kimberly’s voice from the tape. “I wish it were more, but I guess I don’t have the strength to face what I’ve done, or what I didn’t do, or what I did do but should have done sooner. I only have one more thing to say, and it’s for Olivia.”
At the mention of her name, Olivia’s eyes widened and her face registered shock and curiosity. Alex looked at her quickly before focusing her attention back on the television.
“Olivia, I’m sorry. I’m not as strong as you though I wish I were. I admire you for the words you spoke to me, the strength you wanted to give to me, and the guilt you tried to wash away. I’m sorry.” That was the last thing she said before the tape ended.
Olivia straightened up and rubbed the back of her neck. She tried to maintain her composure but Alex could see the grief in her eyes. No one said anything right away. Was it rude to talk about how to use the tape as evidence given the sad nature of its ending?
“Well, Alex? I can tell you’re going to give us some bad news,” Cragen said being the first to speak.
Alex sighed before answering. “The tape makes it seem like Kimberly is accusing Michael Wallace of the crime. His attorney is going scream violation of his Sixth Amendment rights, and a judge will more than likely agree and throw the tape out.”
“So it’s useless?” Elliot asked in disbelief.
“I don’t know for sure. My only hope is that its release to the defendant as discovery will be enough to scare them into making a deal given the fact that there is corroborating evidence to her testimony. That said, however, I’d rather go to trial with Kimberly’s written statement than with this tape as actual evidence, and risk a complete embarrassment, not to mention an admonishment, for completely ignoring the Constitution.”
“Wait, do you think that Wallace has a chance of getting off?” Cragen asked her.
“All I can say is that it’s definitely a risk going into court with this videotape as my key piece of evidence,” she responded without really answering his question.
“I guess all it solidifies then is her suicide,” Olivia said very depressed as she pushed back from the table they were all sitting at.
“At least that’s something if it’s not useful in scaring them,” Elliot replied trying to find even the smallest use for the discovered tape.
Olivia rolled her eyes and shook her head before standing up and walking out of the room. Elliot stood up to go after her, but Alex stopped him.
“No, I’ll go.”
Elliot nodded, and he and Cragen watched Alex follow Olivia out the door.
Alex found Olivia just in time to see her turn the corner to head outside.
“Olivia, wait,” Alex shouted just as she was about to lose sight of her, but Olivia didn’t stop. “Olivia!” Alex yelled again.
The detective finally stopped, but she didn’t turn around. Alex caught up with her standing in the middle of the sidewalk, people brushing quickly past her, the rain lightly sprinkling down. She reached for her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, turning her around.
“It’s not your fault, Olivia. There was nothing you could do.”
Olivia smirked and shook her head. “There’s never anything we can do, is there Alex? Even if we find the guy and the jury convicts him, the damage is already done. Lives are ruined. Families suffer needlessly. And what can we do? Nothing.”
Alex pulled her to the side, away from the traffic on the sidewalk. “That’s not true, Olivia,” she said firmly. “You do the job that people might want to do but don’t have the stomach for. You have a strength that’s beyond admirable, and yeah, maybe you can’t give that strength to others, but you can use it to put bastards like Michael Wallace behind bars. That’s your job, Olivia. Sometimes you can’t help people because things are beyond your control, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t bring justice to the victims.”
“I couldn’t help Kimberly,” Olivia mumbled, trying to fight the tears that were building in her.
“It wasn’t your job to help Kimberly. She wasn’t the victim,” Alex reminded her.
“She’s dead, Alex. How was she not the victim?” Olivia asked incredulously.
“Because it wasn’t Michael Wallace who killed her, and you know that. You know the difference.”
Olivia shook her head again. “I guess this job has no room for emotions,” she said as she turned to walk away.
Alex reached out and grabbed her, stopping her from going. “It’s your emotions that make you such a good cop.”
“I think it’s my emotions that get me into so much trouble, wouldn’t you agree?” Olivia asked with raised eyebrows.
The jab made Alex cringe, but she decided to handle it with poise and sympathy. “It’s your emotions that make you human, Olivia - not perfect - human, and that’s what I love about you.” Alex didn’t mean to say the last part, but somehow her subconscious took over and it just slipped out.
And Olivia caught it. “How is it that every conversation we have always ends up in the same place?” she asked.
“Because it’s the big pink elephant in the middle of the room,” Alex answered quickly.
“I thought we were moving past it, though.”
“We weren’t,” Alex said, emphasizing the ‘we.’
“But we need to,” Olivia said quietly.
Alex paused. “We will,” she said, aggravated that they were going through this again.
It wasn’t the response that Olivia was hoping for. In fact, it actually surprised her. A part of her wanted Alex to fight for her like she had started to yesterday morning in her apartment, but instead it was like she was giving up, or giving in, one or the other if not both.
Olivia nodded her head and turned once again to walk away.
“Olivia, it’s not your fault,” Alex said one more time.
“What, Kimberly or us?” Olivia asked.
“Both.”
Part 35
Monday morning greeted Alex with dark clouds and rain pouring down on the streets. The weather suited her mood, dark and depressed. She had fallen asleep on the couch last night after getting Olivia’s things ready, but around 2 am she climbed back into bed with Richard so as not to incur his questions in the morning as to why she was sleeping in the living room. She woke up to the smell of one hundred percent Kona coffee brewing in the kitchen, and she knew that Richard had been up for a while. She looked at the clock on her nightstand. She had no time to dawdle this morning, so she got up and quickly did her morning routine: shower, makeup, and clothes. Within thirty-five minutes, a record time for her, she was dressed and out in the kitchen grabbing a cup of coffee. She found Richard sitting at the breakfast nook reading the newspaper and eating a croissant. When she came in, he set down his paper and smiled warmly at her.
“Let me guess, you’re late,” he said with a grin.
“Yeah, very,” Alex answered quickly in between sips of coffee.
“When do you think you’ll be home tonight?”
Alex grabbed her keys, her briefcase, and the bag with Olivia’s belongings. “I don’t know. With everything that happened this weekend, it’ll probably be a late night.”
“Oh yeah, you never told me what happened to interrupt our lunch.”
“It’s, uh, just a bump in the road,” Alex responded as she rushed out of the kitchen.
“Call me later?” he called after her, overwhelmed by her bustling around.
“I’ll try,” she hollered back before slamming the front door behind her.
Alex stood in the elevator and looked at her watch. She wasn’t actually late, and she wasn’t really that eager to get to work given who she had to work with, and yet she was still rushing out of her apartment, leaving one desperate situation to face another. She decided to catch a cab to her office instead of heading to the precinct given the fact that so much work needed to be done on the Wallace case since Kimberly’s suicide, not to mention the other cases being assigned to her. Hanging up her coat and setting her briefcase by her desk, Alex stared at the bag carrying Olivia’s clothes. A part of her wanted to return the things right away just to get it over with, but another part of her dreaded it at the same time. Grabbing a pen and a case file, she put on her glasses and started to work.
Olivia walked into the precinct a little more energized than usual. She’d had her cup of coffee early after a morning run, and she looked and felt surprisingly refreshed. Her mind was clear, her energy level was up, and her dedication to punishing the perpetrators was stronger than ever. Since the news of Kimberly Duncan’s death had made its way to the precinct, Olivia was eager to do everything she could to put Michael Wallace behind bars. She knew it would mean working closely with Alex, helping her to build the strongest case possible, but she also knew that it was her job that was going to pull her through the mess they had made between them. Madison’s words still lingered in Olivia’s mind, but with the work that needed to be done today, there was little time to really focus on them.
Elliot noticed immediately how spry Olivia was this morning. He hadn’t really asked her lately how things were going between her and Alex, if they were going at all. He figured that if she wanted to tell him anything that she would do it on her own accord, and since she didn’t, he thought it best to leave the topic alone. The two detectives focused on the work at hand, finding little time to talk about their personal lives, and that suited Olivia just fine.
“Morning,” Elliot greeted her as she sat down at her desk.
“Hey,” she smiled back. “When did you get out of here yesterday?”
“I left a little after you did,” he answered, leaning back in his chair and placing his hands behind his head. “There wasn’t much that could be done on the Wallace case that didn’t involve Cabot, so I went home and spent the evening with Kathy and the kids.”
“Well that’s nice that you all got some time together. With the party and work, the weekend was pretty short.”
“Yeah,” Elliot agreed. “You were here pretty much all day yesterday, so your weekend was even shorter.”
Olivia nodded, noticing that he didn’t ask her what she had done last night after she had left the precinct, but she didn’t mind. Her late night escapades weren’t her greatest pride, so she didn’t mind keeping them to herself.
“Olivia, Elliot,” Cragen called as he approached them. “Good news. The police found a tape in Kimberly’s video camera. It’s a recording she made of her eyewitness account.”
Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, both feeling the grim nature of their job.
“Have you seen it yet?” Elliot asked.
Before Cragen could answer, a voice came from behind them.
“So it’s true?” Alex asked, rushing into the precinct. “There’s a videotape?”
Olivia turned around in her chair to see the ADA walking quickly towards them. Alex never looked better, and for a moment Olivia was bitter thinking about how wonderful her weekend must have been for her to look so good. She was wearing a high collared white blouse with a black jacket and tailored black pants. Her glasses made her look distinguished and poised and “so fucking sexy,” Olivia thought in her head.
“Alex, good morning,” Cragen said. “Yes, it’s true. They’re sending the tape down right now.”
Alex nodded her head. She made eye contact with both Elliot and Cragen, but avoided it with Olivia not knowing how well she could handle it staring into those beautiful dark brown eyes. Olivia wanted to make eye contact with her, but did nothing to catch her attention seeing how hard Alex was trying to avoid it. As they waited for the tape to be delivered, Olivia quietly excused herself and went to her locker. She didn’t need anything in it, but she felt it better to be there rather than standing next to Alex, shining a light on their obvious awkward situation. After organizing her locker for a minute or so, Olivia shut the door and walked over to the coffeemaker. Alex followed her there to pour herself a cup. At first, neither of them said anything. They could hear Elliot and Cragen talking behind them, so they knew little attention was being focused on the two of them standing next to each other not saying a word. Like a well-choreographed dance, Alex and Olivia prepared their cups of coffee. Olivia reached for two mugs and handed one to Alex. Alex filled both cups before reaching for the cream while Olivia reached for the sugar. They finished pouring at the exact same time and made the exchange. They poured again before setting both the cream and sugar down on the table together. Alex reached for two stirring sticks and handed one to Olivia. They both stirred their coffee counterclockwise, all of this done without saying a single word. Olivia glanced to the side at Alex stirring her coffee and let out a small laugh. Alex returned the glance and smiled, and for the first moment since she had arrived at the precinct this morning, her body relaxed a bit.
“How was the rest of your weekend?” Olivia asked breaking what seemed like hours of silence.
Alex fought the lump building in her throat and forced herself to answer. “It was nice. How was yours?”
“Mine was nice too,” Olivia answered, and for the first time that morning the two women made eye contact with each other.
“Alex, Liv,” Elliot called to them. “The tape’s here.”
They both continued looking at each other for a brief second before Olivia tore her eyes away to acknowledge her partner before returning them to Alex. She could see the pain in Alex’s eyes as hard as she was trying to conceal it. Olivia grimaced as she left her standing there and followed her partner to one of the interrogation rooms to watch the tape. Alex inhaled deeply before joining the two detectives and Captain Cragen.
The tape was everything that Alex expected and feared it would be. Throughout the viewing, Olivia kept glancing over at the ADA to see her reaction to what could be important evidence for the case. She was surprised to see Alex’s distress and disappointment. The look on her face was one of calculation as she tried to figure out a way to use the recording in court.
“So this is all I have,” came Kimberly’s voice from the tape. “I wish it were more, but I guess I don’t have the strength to face what I’ve done, or what I didn’t do, or what I did do but should have done sooner. I only have one more thing to say, and it’s for Olivia.”
At the mention of her name, Olivia’s eyes widened and her face registered shock and curiosity. Alex looked at her quickly before focusing her attention back on the television.
“Olivia, I’m sorry. I’m not as strong as you though I wish I were. I admire you for the words you spoke to me, the strength you wanted to give to me, and the guilt you tried to wash away. I’m sorry.” That was the last thing she said before the tape ended.
Olivia straightened up and rubbed the back of her neck. She tried to maintain her composure but Alex could see the grief in her eyes. No one said anything right away. Was it rude to talk about how to use the tape as evidence given the sad nature of its ending?
“Well, Alex? I can tell you’re going to give us some bad news,” Cragen said being the first to speak.
Alex sighed before answering. “The tape makes it seem like Kimberly is accusing Michael Wallace of the crime. His attorney is going scream violation of his Sixth Amendment rights, and a judge will more than likely agree and throw the tape out.”
“So it’s useless?” Elliot asked in disbelief.
“I don’t know for sure. My only hope is that its release to the defendant as discovery will be enough to scare them into making a deal given the fact that there is corroborating evidence to her testimony. That said, however, I’d rather go to trial with Kimberly’s written statement than with this tape as actual evidence, and risk a complete embarrassment, not to mention an admonishment, for completely ignoring the Constitution.”
“Wait, do you think that Wallace has a chance of getting off?” Cragen asked her.
“All I can say is that it’s definitely a risk going into court with this videotape as my key piece of evidence,” she responded without really answering his question.
“I guess all it solidifies then is her suicide,” Olivia said very depressed as she pushed back from the table they were all sitting at.
“At least that’s something if it’s not useful in scaring them,” Elliot replied trying to find even the smallest use for the discovered tape.
Olivia rolled her eyes and shook her head before standing up and walking out of the room. Elliot stood up to go after her, but Alex stopped him.
“No, I’ll go.”
Elliot nodded, and he and Cragen watched Alex follow Olivia out the door.
Alex found Olivia just in time to see her turn the corner to head outside.
“Olivia, wait,” Alex shouted just as she was about to lose sight of her, but Olivia didn’t stop. “Olivia!” Alex yelled again.
The detective finally stopped, but she didn’t turn around. Alex caught up with her standing in the middle of the sidewalk, people brushing quickly past her, the rain lightly sprinkling down. She reached for her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, turning her around.
“It’s not your fault, Olivia. There was nothing you could do.”
Olivia smirked and shook her head. “There’s never anything we can do, is there Alex? Even if we find the guy and the jury convicts him, the damage is already done. Lives are ruined. Families suffer needlessly. And what can we do? Nothing.”
Alex pulled her to the side, away from the traffic on the sidewalk. “That’s not true, Olivia,” she said firmly. “You do the job that people might want to do but don’t have the stomach for. You have a strength that’s beyond admirable, and yeah, maybe you can’t give that strength to others, but you can use it to put bastards like Michael Wallace behind bars. That’s your job, Olivia. Sometimes you can’t help people because things are beyond your control, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t bring justice to the victims.”
“I couldn’t help Kimberly,” Olivia mumbled, trying to fight the tears that were building in her.
“It wasn’t your job to help Kimberly. She wasn’t the victim,” Alex reminded her.
“She’s dead, Alex. How was she not the victim?” Olivia asked incredulously.
“Because it wasn’t Michael Wallace who killed her, and you know that. You know the difference.”
Olivia shook her head again. “I guess this job has no room for emotions,” she said as she turned to walk away.
Alex reached out and grabbed her, stopping her from going. “It’s your emotions that make you such a good cop.”
“I think it’s my emotions that get me into so much trouble, wouldn’t you agree?” Olivia asked with raised eyebrows.
The jab made Alex cringe, but she decided to handle it with poise and sympathy. “It’s your emotions that make you human, Olivia - not perfect - human, and that’s what I love about you.” Alex didn’t mean to say the last part, but somehow her subconscious took over and it just slipped out.
And Olivia caught it. “How is it that every conversation we have always ends up in the same place?” she asked.
“Because it’s the big pink elephant in the middle of the room,” Alex answered quickly.
“I thought we were moving past it, though.”
“We weren’t,” Alex said, emphasizing the ‘we.’
“But we need to,” Olivia said quietly.
Alex paused. “We will,” she said, aggravated that they were going through this again.
It wasn’t the response that Olivia was hoping for. In fact, it actually surprised her. A part of her wanted Alex to fight for her like she had started to yesterday morning in her apartment, but instead it was like she was giving up, or giving in, one or the other if not both.
Olivia nodded her head and turned once again to walk away.
“Olivia, it’s not your fault,” Alex said one more time.
“What, Kimberly or us?” Olivia asked.
“Both.”