(no subject)
Title: All I Ever Wanted4/?
Pairing: Implied Alex/Olivia. Later on it will be.
Spoilers: 10x15. Lead
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
A/N:So, i was hit with a bit of inspiration, and that made me want to write! Enjoy!
It's easier to run. That statement is what fills my mind this exact moment. There are no other thoughts in my head except for the fact that it's so much easier to run.
I barely sleep anymore.
I barely eat.
My thoughts are consumed by my heartache and pain.
After that event happened in the precinct 4 days ago, I've been hidden inside Elliot's family cabin in Northern New Jersey. It's a cozy little cabin with 2 small bedrooms, a fireplace, and an extremely nice pool.
Secluded.
Just the way I want it to be. I seriously just need to get my thoughts together before I can go back to work and have victims rely solely on you. I am just so torn up right now, and I just can't deal with anything.
Anyway, you wonder what I've been doing for 4 days?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I turned my phone off, and it hasn't been on since. I'm almost positive I have a ton of voicemails. I told myself I wouldn't turn my phone on this whole week, but I have to. What if something happened while I was gone. What if Alex.... Wait a minute. I should not be worrying about Alex. She has a husband who can worry about her and take care of her. I have no right to worry about her, not even as a friend.
I walk over to the table in the kitchen and hit the power button on my phone. The happy and cheery opening music plays and it makes me smirk. It's sad how such a stupid song, that only plays when I turn my phone on, can make me smile.
7 new voicemails.
Damn.
I sighed, “Here goes nothing...”
First message. “Hey Liv, it's Elliot. I was just making sure you got in safely. I'm guessing you have your phone turned of already so I'll let you go. Whenever you decide to turn your phone back on, gimme a call and let me know how you're doing... Oh, the kids and Kathy say hi!”
I chuckled. If he wasn't married, and I wasn't gay, he'd be the perfect man for me.
Second message. “Olivia. Where the hell have you run off to? Nobody ignores Serena Southerlyn and gets away with it. You had me worried sick when I got to your apartment and you weren't there. Lucky for me though that your partner talks before he thinks and he let me know where you were. Please Liv, if you need company, do call me. I hope you're doing okay...”
Third message. “... Hi Liv... I know I'm the last person you want to speak to right now, let alone associate with, but please hear me out. I know that you've gone somewhere to hide out for awhile, but I need to see you. Please... I need to explain everything... I need you to believe me Liv... Please just give me one more chance...”
It broke my heart. I heard the pain and the tears in her voice. But I couldn't give in. I honestly couldn't. She has no idea how I feel, and she won't until I'M ready.
Fourth message. “Olivia, it's Don. I'm worried about you. Elliot is worried about you... Alex is worried about you. Everyone is worried. I know it's only been 2 days since you left, but that's two days of not hearing your voice or knowing that you're okay. Call someone soon. Please.”
I swear that man is like a father to me. I have to remember to call him later.
Fifth message. “Hello Olivia. It's been a long time since we've talked. I miss you. I know things ended very rough between us, but you have to understand that I had to choose my career. You know that my life was my career, and that I worked so hard. But I do love you dearest Olivia. I've never stopped.... I still think about you all of the time and I want to---”
I hit delete before it could finish. You wonder who that was.... It was none other then Abbie Carmichael. We were together for a good 6 months until she decided that her career was far more important than me. Granted, we dated before Alex even came into the picture and I slept with her once or twice when I was Alex's friend... but nothing more... It's been so long...
Sixth message. “Oh my god Liv, you will not believe who just showed up and is demanding to see you. Abbie Carmichael. I don't know what you did Liv, but she seems pissed off. She said that she went to your apartment and they you were ignoring her phone calls... Oh man Liv, straighten her out some. She's acting like you're her property... Call me!”
Oh dear god. The last thing I need is more drama in my life. I'll fix everything later...
One more message! Woo hoo!
Last message. “Liv, I'm sorry.. I'm so so sorry... Oh god I can't do this anymore...”
Why did Alex leave such a cryptic message? Oh man...
Before I could get up, I heard a knock at the door. I got up and made sure I was decent, grabbed a brush and straightened out my hair a bit, and walked towards the door.
I opened it and it was none other then Serena.
“Serena, what are you doing here? And what's so important that you couldn't call?” I looked at her and she just walked past me and sat on the couch.
“Well Liv, for one, you haven't been answering your phone, and two, we have a major problem...” I looked at her and sat down. “What happened...?”
Serena looked down at her feet and bit her bottom lip. “Well, you see, umm... Abbie kind of broadcasted to the whole squad about your sex life and everything you two went through...”
I sighed. “And let me guess, Alex was right there....” She nodded. I put my head in my hands and just let my body fall back from my sitting position.
“Serena... Is she okay...?” She looked up at me, shocked.
“Wait what? You're worried about her even with what she's done to you...?” I tore my eyes away from her and nodded.
“Of course. I just hoped that when all of this mess gets settled, we'd have a future together. And I know that Alex finding out about Abbie, will sting like a bitch...” She stood up and walked over to the table and grabbed my phone.
“Call her Liv. She wants to explain everything to you. There were even things I didn't know that she told me..” She threw the phone into my lap. “Please Liv. You both deserve to be happy. Oh, and get rid of Abbie. She's a royal pain in the ass.”
We both laughed and she walked out of the cabin and drove away. I walked out onto the front porch and sat down on one of the old wooden chairs. I picked up my phone and hit the numbers of the woman who would always have my heart.
It rang. “Cabot”
“Alex?”
Quiet.
“Liv, are you okay?” She sounded worried.
“Yeah, I'm fine.. Listen, can you come meet me at the cabin where I'm staying. I'm sure Elliot will give you the directions... I think we need to talk...” I sighed.
“Are you sure...?”
“Yeah, it'll take you about an hour to get here, don't rush though. I'll see you tonight...”
“Okay, bye Liv...”
I hung up the phone and walked back into the house. I put my phone on the table and walked into the bathroom to shower.
What am I getting myself into? This is going to turn out to be so bad, and I hope things don't get even worse for us...
After I get out of my shower, it's been about 45 minutes, and I hear another knock at the door. Curious, considering she must've flown here, I open the door.
I'm welcomed with Abbie Carmichael lunging at me and pulling me into a hug.
“Oh my god Liv, you look amazing!!” She pulled away. I looked at her, and shrugged. I looked like crap. I had bags under my eyes from not sleeping, I had a pair of sweatpants and a baggy tshirt on, and I had zero make up on. She must be on drugs.
I walked over to my couch without even acknowledging her. She followed.
“What are you doing here...” I could tell she sense the hostility in my voice because she winced.
“I wanted to see you again. I heard about all the nonsense you're going through. Cabot could never be woman enough for you. She's too weak for such a strong woman like you.. You should be with me Liv. I know I screwed up but you never gave me a second chance!”
I Stood up abruptly. “Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! I don't care what you want from me Abbie. We're done. COMPLETELY done. I want nothing to do with you and you're self absorbent ass. You broke my heart once, and that was is. Once it's broken, you lost your second chance. I saw her glance out the window, but I didn't care. I figured it was nothing.
She suddenly got up and pushed me onto the wall closest to the door and kissed me rough. I stood there for a second not being able to react, and in that second, I realized there was an audience.
Alex.
Abbie, that bitch did this on purpose. I pushed Abbie off of me, “Get the hell out of this cabin, out of my life, and out of New York. I want nothing to do with you. You hear me?? You mean absolutely nothing to me...” I didn't care how much I hurt her., she deserved it.
I ran out of the cabin towards Alex's car.
“Alex!! WAIT!”
I stood in front of her car and held on.
“Alex, please listen to me, please. I didn't know she was coming over. I want nothing to do with her. Please turn the car off and come in the cabin with me, please...” I pleaded her to just come back inside with me.
She looked up from inside her car, turned off the ignition, and walked out. I grabbed her hand and she just held onto it tighter. We walked inside of the cabin, and of course, guess who is still sitting there on the couch.
“Abbie, I said leave. That means get the hell out of this cabin and my life. Leave.” She stood up and walked up to Alex.
She looked her up and down. “You've got NOTHING compared to me. She'll leave you and come looking for me. I guarantee it...” She laughed.
Alex let go of my hand, grabbed Abbie's shoulder, and turned her around. “Honey, it's clear that I'm nothing compared to you. Because if I was, I'd be getting kicked out as well. But hey, looks like I'm on the right side of the fence considering that I'm the one who's staying...” She looked at Abbie, and did something I never though Alex Cabot would ever do.
She punch her square in the nose.
“You bitch!” Abbie lunged at Alex, but before she could get to her, I already had her on the ground cuffed.
“I suggest you let it go Abbie if you know what's best for you... Leave now, or things will get ugly. We don't want Alex giving you another black eye...” I laughed.
Abbie got up, brushed herself up, and stormed out of the cabin. I just stood there, zoned out for a couple of minutes until I hear Alex cough. I turned around and saw her close to tears. I looked at her.
She smiled nervously, “Can I get some ice for my hand by any chance? That kinda hurt...” She smiled. I couldn't help but chuckle at her shyness. “Absolutely...”
As I walked by her, I felt her grab my arm. I turned to look at her and I immediately felt two arms go around my neck. I felt tears on my neck, and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her waist and hold her tight.
“I'm so sorry Liv.. I wish I was honest with you before any of this happened...” I pulled her head off of my shoulder. I placed my finger on her lips. “Shh Alex, go sit down on the couch as I get you some ice for your hand.. just relax...”
I walked past her and heard her walk towards the couch and sit down.
What have I gotten myself into? The moment she wrapped her arms around my neck, all of the amazing memories of us came rushing back, and I couldn't help but miss it. I can't keep running from the one thing, or person, that I've loved for such a long time
Maybe it's not easier to run, ya know?
Maybe I need to run to her, and fix everything.
We'll see how everything goes...
Pairing: Implied Alex/Olivia. Later on it will be.
Spoilers: 10x15. Lead
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
A/N:So, i was hit with a bit of inspiration, and that made me want to write! Enjoy!
It's easier to run. That statement is what fills my mind this exact moment. There are no other thoughts in my head except for the fact that it's so much easier to run.
I barely sleep anymore.
I barely eat.
My thoughts are consumed by my heartache and pain.
After that event happened in the precinct 4 days ago, I've been hidden inside Elliot's family cabin in Northern New Jersey. It's a cozy little cabin with 2 small bedrooms, a fireplace, and an extremely nice pool.
Secluded.
Just the way I want it to be. I seriously just need to get my thoughts together before I can go back to work and have victims rely solely on you. I am just so torn up right now, and I just can't deal with anything.
Anyway, you wonder what I've been doing for 4 days?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I turned my phone off, and it hasn't been on since. I'm almost positive I have a ton of voicemails. I told myself I wouldn't turn my phone on this whole week, but I have to. What if something happened while I was gone. What if Alex.... Wait a minute. I should not be worrying about Alex. She has a husband who can worry about her and take care of her. I have no right to worry about her, not even as a friend.
I walk over to the table in the kitchen and hit the power button on my phone. The happy and cheery opening music plays and it makes me smirk. It's sad how such a stupid song, that only plays when I turn my phone on, can make me smile.
7 new voicemails.
Damn.
I sighed, “Here goes nothing...”
First message. “Hey Liv, it's Elliot. I was just making sure you got in safely. I'm guessing you have your phone turned of already so I'll let you go. Whenever you decide to turn your phone back on, gimme a call and let me know how you're doing... Oh, the kids and Kathy say hi!”
I chuckled. If he wasn't married, and I wasn't gay, he'd be the perfect man for me.
Second message. “Olivia. Where the hell have you run off to? Nobody ignores Serena Southerlyn and gets away with it. You had me worried sick when I got to your apartment and you weren't there. Lucky for me though that your partner talks before he thinks and he let me know where you were. Please Liv, if you need company, do call me. I hope you're doing okay...”
Third message. “... Hi Liv... I know I'm the last person you want to speak to right now, let alone associate with, but please hear me out. I know that you've gone somewhere to hide out for awhile, but I need to see you. Please... I need to explain everything... I need you to believe me Liv... Please just give me one more chance...”
It broke my heart. I heard the pain and the tears in her voice. But I couldn't give in. I honestly couldn't. She has no idea how I feel, and she won't until I'M ready.
Fourth message. “Olivia, it's Don. I'm worried about you. Elliot is worried about you... Alex is worried about you. Everyone is worried. I know it's only been 2 days since you left, but that's two days of not hearing your voice or knowing that you're okay. Call someone soon. Please.”
I swear that man is like a father to me. I have to remember to call him later.
Fifth message. “Hello Olivia. It's been a long time since we've talked. I miss you. I know things ended very rough between us, but you have to understand that I had to choose my career. You know that my life was my career, and that I worked so hard. But I do love you dearest Olivia. I've never stopped.... I still think about you all of the time and I want to---”
I hit delete before it could finish. You wonder who that was.... It was none other then Abbie Carmichael. We were together for a good 6 months until she decided that her career was far more important than me. Granted, we dated before Alex even came into the picture and I slept with her once or twice when I was Alex's friend... but nothing more... It's been so long...
Sixth message. “Oh my god Liv, you will not believe who just showed up and is demanding to see you. Abbie Carmichael. I don't know what you did Liv, but she seems pissed off. She said that she went to your apartment and they you were ignoring her phone calls... Oh man Liv, straighten her out some. She's acting like you're her property... Call me!”
Oh dear god. The last thing I need is more drama in my life. I'll fix everything later...
One more message! Woo hoo!
Last message. “Liv, I'm sorry.. I'm so so sorry... Oh god I can't do this anymore...”
Why did Alex leave such a cryptic message? Oh man...
Before I could get up, I heard a knock at the door. I got up and made sure I was decent, grabbed a brush and straightened out my hair a bit, and walked towards the door.
I opened it and it was none other then Serena.
“Serena, what are you doing here? And what's so important that you couldn't call?” I looked at her and she just walked past me and sat on the couch.
“Well Liv, for one, you haven't been answering your phone, and two, we have a major problem...” I looked at her and sat down. “What happened...?”
Serena looked down at her feet and bit her bottom lip. “Well, you see, umm... Abbie kind of broadcasted to the whole squad about your sex life and everything you two went through...”
I sighed. “And let me guess, Alex was right there....” She nodded. I put my head in my hands and just let my body fall back from my sitting position.
“Serena... Is she okay...?” She looked up at me, shocked.
“Wait what? You're worried about her even with what she's done to you...?” I tore my eyes away from her and nodded.
“Of course. I just hoped that when all of this mess gets settled, we'd have a future together. And I know that Alex finding out about Abbie, will sting like a bitch...” She stood up and walked over to the table and grabbed my phone.
“Call her Liv. She wants to explain everything to you. There were even things I didn't know that she told me..” She threw the phone into my lap. “Please Liv. You both deserve to be happy. Oh, and get rid of Abbie. She's a royal pain in the ass.”
We both laughed and she walked out of the cabin and drove away. I walked out onto the front porch and sat down on one of the old wooden chairs. I picked up my phone and hit the numbers of the woman who would always have my heart.
It rang. “Cabot”
“Alex?”
Quiet.
“Liv, are you okay?” She sounded worried.
“Yeah, I'm fine.. Listen, can you come meet me at the cabin where I'm staying. I'm sure Elliot will give you the directions... I think we need to talk...” I sighed.
“Are you sure...?”
“Yeah, it'll take you about an hour to get here, don't rush though. I'll see you tonight...”
“Okay, bye Liv...”
I hung up the phone and walked back into the house. I put my phone on the table and walked into the bathroom to shower.
What am I getting myself into? This is going to turn out to be so bad, and I hope things don't get even worse for us...
After I get out of my shower, it's been about 45 minutes, and I hear another knock at the door. Curious, considering she must've flown here, I open the door.
I'm welcomed with Abbie Carmichael lunging at me and pulling me into a hug.
“Oh my god Liv, you look amazing!!” She pulled away. I looked at her, and shrugged. I looked like crap. I had bags under my eyes from not sleeping, I had a pair of sweatpants and a baggy tshirt on, and I had zero make up on. She must be on drugs.
I walked over to my couch without even acknowledging her. She followed.
“What are you doing here...” I could tell she sense the hostility in my voice because she winced.
“I wanted to see you again. I heard about all the nonsense you're going through. Cabot could never be woman enough for you. She's too weak for such a strong woman like you.. You should be with me Liv. I know I screwed up but you never gave me a second chance!”
I Stood up abruptly. “Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! I don't care what you want from me Abbie. We're done. COMPLETELY done. I want nothing to do with you and you're self absorbent ass. You broke my heart once, and that was is. Once it's broken, you lost your second chance. I saw her glance out the window, but I didn't care. I figured it was nothing.
She suddenly got up and pushed me onto the wall closest to the door and kissed me rough. I stood there for a second not being able to react, and in that second, I realized there was an audience.
Alex.
Abbie, that bitch did this on purpose. I pushed Abbie off of me, “Get the hell out of this cabin, out of my life, and out of New York. I want nothing to do with you. You hear me?? You mean absolutely nothing to me...” I didn't care how much I hurt her., she deserved it.
I ran out of the cabin towards Alex's car.
“Alex!! WAIT!”
I stood in front of her car and held on.
“Alex, please listen to me, please. I didn't know she was coming over. I want nothing to do with her. Please turn the car off and come in the cabin with me, please...” I pleaded her to just come back inside with me.
She looked up from inside her car, turned off the ignition, and walked out. I grabbed her hand and she just held onto it tighter. We walked inside of the cabin, and of course, guess who is still sitting there on the couch.
“Abbie, I said leave. That means get the hell out of this cabin and my life. Leave.” She stood up and walked up to Alex.
She looked her up and down. “You've got NOTHING compared to me. She'll leave you and come looking for me. I guarantee it...” She laughed.
Alex let go of my hand, grabbed Abbie's shoulder, and turned her around. “Honey, it's clear that I'm nothing compared to you. Because if I was, I'd be getting kicked out as well. But hey, looks like I'm on the right side of the fence considering that I'm the one who's staying...” She looked at Abbie, and did something I never though Alex Cabot would ever do.
She punch her square in the nose.
“You bitch!” Abbie lunged at Alex, but before she could get to her, I already had her on the ground cuffed.
“I suggest you let it go Abbie if you know what's best for you... Leave now, or things will get ugly. We don't want Alex giving you another black eye...” I laughed.
Abbie got up, brushed herself up, and stormed out of the cabin. I just stood there, zoned out for a couple of minutes until I hear Alex cough. I turned around and saw her close to tears. I looked at her.
She smiled nervously, “Can I get some ice for my hand by any chance? That kinda hurt...” She smiled. I couldn't help but chuckle at her shyness. “Absolutely...”
As I walked by her, I felt her grab my arm. I turned to look at her and I immediately felt two arms go around my neck. I felt tears on my neck, and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her waist and hold her tight.
“I'm so sorry Liv.. I wish I was honest with you before any of this happened...” I pulled her head off of my shoulder. I placed my finger on her lips. “Shh Alex, go sit down on the couch as I get you some ice for your hand.. just relax...”
I walked past her and heard her walk towards the couch and sit down.
What have I gotten myself into? The moment she wrapped her arms around my neck, all of the amazing memories of us came rushing back, and I couldn't help but miss it. I can't keep running from the one thing, or person, that I've loved for such a long time
Maybe it's not easier to run, ya know?
Maybe I need to run to her, and fix everything.
We'll see how everything goes...