In My Life
"In My Life"
Pairing: Pete/Carl, Pete/Lisa, Pete/Kate, and Pete/Irina, but mostly Pete/Carl
Rating: E (language warning for a few curse words)
Genre: angst to happy
Beta: rebecca_star
Word Count: 1141
Notes: This is a series of vignettes from Pete's POV covering from the early days of him and Carl to a few years from now. It's a companion piece to rebecca_star's "Hello, Goodbye" which can be found here. Both are the next "part" to the Beatlesque series I've been working on.
When Pete is eighteen and Carl asks what's to become of them, Pete has grand plans for their future. They're going to be famous - bigger than the Beatles - and wealthy - richer than the queen. They'll keep making music until Carl's hands are too shaky to strum and Pete's voice too raspy to sing. They'll headline massive tours, maybe even pass the Rolling Stones' record. They won't have to hide them because everyone will know and adore them so much that no one will so much as bat an eye at the sight of them hugging and kissing, both on and off stage. They'll be at the top of the world. Together.
Six months later, the fighting starts.
When Peter is twenty-three and Lisa asks what's to become of them, Pete has myriad promises for their future. He knows exactly what he has to do - he's going to get his act together and become a Responsible Adult, he's going to fix things with Carl and the band, he's going to get Clean, all for her and the baby. They're going to be model parents and his son - because it's obviously going to be a boy - will never want for anything, especially not an involved, attentive father the way Peter himself did. All his son's friends are going to envy him because his mum is beautiful and is dad is the Coolest Rockstar Ever. They will be Happy because everyone knows perfect families are Happy, especially in Arcadia.
Six months later, a single Peter is arrested for breaking into Carl's flat. He'll blame the drugs, the band, Lisa, everyone except the person most at fault - himself.
When Peter is twenty-five and Carl asks what's to become of them, Pete has only hateful pessimism about their future. They could be writing and recording their best songs yet, if only Carl could stand to look at him long enough for them to make this damn album. They could be famous if only the rest of the band hadn't insisted they sign to Rough Trade. They could be rich, if only Rough Trade would market them right. They could still be together, if only Carl would stop the needless lecturing about Drugs and Responsible Behaviour. Peter could be fine, if only Carl had been to Peter the kind of friend Peter had been to Carl.
Six months later, the Libertines are no more. Peter has a new band - Babyshambles - and Carl has a new addiction - Quincy reruns. Neither of them is happy.
When Peter is twenty-six and Kate asks what's to become of them, Pete has only evasive excuses about their future. They'll have a baby when Pete gets clean again - as if the substances had prevented his first one. Peter'll get clean when next he goes into rehab - as if he's actually willing to stick with it this time. Kate'll get a whole song on the next album, after he convinces the boys it's a good idea - as if their opinion had ever mattered to Peter before. They'll form their own band when Peter gets bored with Babyshambles - as if he could ever bore of his music.
Six months later, they're broken up - again - but Peter knows they'll get back together - again - and this time, it will be for forever because they're Meant To Be. He forces himself not to think about the last several times they've tried - and failed - to fix their relationship, or about the boy he always wishes she were instead.
When Peter is twenty-seven and Carl asks what's to become of them, Peter has excited hopes for their future. They'll do a couple of gigs, maybe record some songs, and they'll easily, naturally fall back into what they had. He reminds Carl with carefully chosen words and touches what he's been missing and convinces him they can have it all again. He describes what the comeback tour will be like, eyes lighting up as he talks of sold-out gigs played to devoted fans and how the press will be forced to eat their words for ever doubting them, and his enthusiasm is contagious.
Six months later, they've performed together on stage for the first time in almost three years and recorded a Beatles song together for some Sgt Pepper's anniversary thing, and drifted apart again. Peter hears through the grapevine that it's because Carl is afraid he'll lose him to the drugs again, and Peter vows to prove to him and the rest of the world which of the two is really the more important to him.
When Peter is twenty-eight and Irina asks what's to become of them, Peter has deceptive pledges for their future. He doesn't want to face the possibility of being alone, so he tells her what she wants to hear. She is delighted when he professes his realisation that really, it wasn't Kate he was meant to be with, but her. She is touched when he tells her how much it means to him that she's been there for him when no one else has. He proposes, not because he really wants to marry her but because she wants him and they're good together... or at least stable. Pete tells himself she's exactly what he needs and squashes the nagging little voice in the back of his mind that's insistently pointing out that the safe option has never made him happy before and certainly won't now.
Six months later, they've broken up, and Pete swears that this time it's for good. He tells the press - or the people he knows will tell them, so it all amounts to the same thing - that it's because she's clingy and controlling and that he's already had one disastrous relationship like that and thus doesn't need another, but he knows that as cheesy as it sounds, it's really because she, like Kate and all the others before them, can never live up to the one he measures all others against.
When Peter is thirty-five and Carl asks what's to become of them, Pete has uncomfortable insights into their future. They're going to fuck and fight. They're going to write and record and tour. They're going to fall in and out of love with other people. They're going to face addictions - both Pete's and Carl's - and they're going to beat them. They're going to lose people they love and they're going to meet people they hate. They're going to be miserable and jaded and happy and content each in turn. Nothing is going to be perfect, but that's going to be all right because they'll be together, which is how they're supposed to be.
Six months later, they're still having that same conversation, and Peter couldn't be happier.
Pairing: Pete/Carl, Pete/Lisa, Pete/Kate, and Pete/Irina, but mostly Pete/Carl
Rating: E (language warning for a few curse words)
Genre: angst to happy
Beta: rebecca_star
Word Count: 1141
Notes: This is a series of vignettes from Pete's POV covering from the early days of him and Carl to a few years from now. It's a companion piece to rebecca_star's "Hello, Goodbye" which can be found here. Both are the next "part" to the Beatlesque series I've been working on.
When Pete is eighteen and Carl asks what's to become of them, Pete has grand plans for their future. They're going to be famous - bigger than the Beatles - and wealthy - richer than the queen. They'll keep making music until Carl's hands are too shaky to strum and Pete's voice too raspy to sing. They'll headline massive tours, maybe even pass the Rolling Stones' record. They won't have to hide them because everyone will know and adore them so much that no one will so much as bat an eye at the sight of them hugging and kissing, both on and off stage. They'll be at the top of the world. Together.
Six months later, the fighting starts.
When Peter is twenty-three and Lisa asks what's to become of them, Pete has myriad promises for their future. He knows exactly what he has to do - he's going to get his act together and become a Responsible Adult, he's going to fix things with Carl and the band, he's going to get Clean, all for her and the baby. They're going to be model parents and his son - because it's obviously going to be a boy - will never want for anything, especially not an involved, attentive father the way Peter himself did. All his son's friends are going to envy him because his mum is beautiful and is dad is the Coolest Rockstar Ever. They will be Happy because everyone knows perfect families are Happy, especially in Arcadia.
Six months later, a single Peter is arrested for breaking into Carl's flat. He'll blame the drugs, the band, Lisa, everyone except the person most at fault - himself.
When Peter is twenty-five and Carl asks what's to become of them, Pete has only hateful pessimism about their future. They could be writing and recording their best songs yet, if only Carl could stand to look at him long enough for them to make this damn album. They could be famous if only the rest of the band hadn't insisted they sign to Rough Trade. They could be rich, if only Rough Trade would market them right. They could still be together, if only Carl would stop the needless lecturing about Drugs and Responsible Behaviour. Peter could be fine, if only Carl had been to Peter the kind of friend Peter had been to Carl.
Six months later, the Libertines are no more. Peter has a new band - Babyshambles - and Carl has a new addiction - Quincy reruns. Neither of them is happy.
When Peter is twenty-six and Kate asks what's to become of them, Pete has only evasive excuses about their future. They'll have a baby when Pete gets clean again - as if the substances had prevented his first one. Peter'll get clean when next he goes into rehab - as if he's actually willing to stick with it this time. Kate'll get a whole song on the next album, after he convinces the boys it's a good idea - as if their opinion had ever mattered to Peter before. They'll form their own band when Peter gets bored with Babyshambles - as if he could ever bore of his music.
Six months later, they're broken up - again - but Peter knows they'll get back together - again - and this time, it will be for forever because they're Meant To Be. He forces himself not to think about the last several times they've tried - and failed - to fix their relationship, or about the boy he always wishes she were instead.
When Peter is twenty-seven and Carl asks what's to become of them, Peter has excited hopes for their future. They'll do a couple of gigs, maybe record some songs, and they'll easily, naturally fall back into what they had. He reminds Carl with carefully chosen words and touches what he's been missing and convinces him they can have it all again. He describes what the comeback tour will be like, eyes lighting up as he talks of sold-out gigs played to devoted fans and how the press will be forced to eat their words for ever doubting them, and his enthusiasm is contagious.
Six months later, they've performed together on stage for the first time in almost three years and recorded a Beatles song together for some Sgt Pepper's anniversary thing, and drifted apart again. Peter hears through the grapevine that it's because Carl is afraid he'll lose him to the drugs again, and Peter vows to prove to him and the rest of the world which of the two is really the more important to him.
When Peter is twenty-eight and Irina asks what's to become of them, Peter has deceptive pledges for their future. He doesn't want to face the possibility of being alone, so he tells her what she wants to hear. She is delighted when he professes his realisation that really, it wasn't Kate he was meant to be with, but her. She is touched when he tells her how much it means to him that she's been there for him when no one else has. He proposes, not because he really wants to marry her but because she wants him and they're good together... or at least stable. Pete tells himself she's exactly what he needs and squashes the nagging little voice in the back of his mind that's insistently pointing out that the safe option has never made him happy before and certainly won't now.
Six months later, they've broken up, and Pete swears that this time it's for good. He tells the press - or the people he knows will tell them, so it all amounts to the same thing - that it's because she's clingy and controlling and that he's already had one disastrous relationship like that and thus doesn't need another, but he knows that as cheesy as it sounds, it's really because she, like Kate and all the others before them, can never live up to the one he measures all others against.
When Peter is thirty-five and Carl asks what's to become of them, Pete has uncomfortable insights into their future. They're going to fuck and fight. They're going to write and record and tour. They're going to fall in and out of love with other people. They're going to face addictions - both Pete's and Carl's - and they're going to beat them. They're going to lose people they love and they're going to meet people they hate. They're going to be miserable and jaded and happy and content each in turn. Nothing is going to be perfect, but that's going to be all right because they'll be together, which is how they're supposed to be.
Six months later, they're still having that same conversation, and Peter couldn't be happier.