Colombia
Title: Colombia
Characters/Pairing: Maya/Gabriel
Rating: R (suicidal themes and Gabriel angst :x)
Word count: Really long :x
Disclaimer: Do not own.
Summery: There's a sickness in both of them
Note: Before Maya found Chandra's book she and Ale ventured South into the jungle.
He's not "Sylar" anymore. AU
"Are you alive?"
The man was lying in a fetal position by the side of the road, the suns rays baking him alive so that Alejandro winces to see the extreme and painful sunburn the man is inflicted with. The trees sway softly on either side of the road, the sound of the jungle humming around them. The leaves rustle together as a frayed end of rope swings gently back and forth. The other end of it is coiled around the man's neck. The road is deserted but for them and the birds.
His stomach twisting sickeningly Alejandro inspects closer and sees with relief that he's breathing shallowly but with eyes staring blankly ahead which give the illusion of death. He remains unresponsive to his calls but Alejandro can hear the way the man's stomach rumbles. He's filthy and extremely disoriented and Alejandro is left wondering how he even had the strength to hang himself.
"You need to go to a hospital but I don't have enough gas to get there..." he speaks aloud to himself as the white man's eyes blink and finally stare up at him. Alejandro shudders but offers him a smile, laying a hand on his arm, avoiding the burn. "You're ok, I'll help you." He hooks his arm around the man's waist, careful not to touch the man's sensitive skin and gets him to his feet. The hanged man is much taller then he is and he leans all of his weight against him, sluggishly moving as best he can. He limps on a foot and shows his teeth in a pained grimace, closing his eyes as Alejandro bundles him into the back of his pickup truck, moving the crates to create space for him. Once settled, curling his body up like a baby again, Alejandro gets behind the wheel and starts the ignition, his eyes darting to the mirror as the sound of muffled crying reaches his ear. It's persistent for most of the journey but tapers off as they reach home. He needs his sister's help and so calls for her but he does so with a foreboding emotion.
This is the first guest they've had in a year of peacefully living in this place.
*
Faint sounds of music plays hauntingly in another room, a woman's husky lament of a voice singing in tandem with the radio and he finds himself sinking into the tragic air of it and loosing himself.
"El hombre está despierto"
"He hecho algo para él para comer. Pobre hombre ..." The husky singing stops when she speaks but the one on the radio continues, now a quiet wail. He's lying on his belly and by the feel of it on top a palliasse. Just then a pair of women's legs, smooth and bronzed, come into his field of vision and then bend down in front of him. "Buenos días, he hecho algunasdesayuno." She says this very softly, tenderly but he has no idea what she's saying. Only that she's wished him good morning, that's as far as his Spanish lessons went.
She sets a tray down on the stone flagged floor; it's ladled with a bowl of chopped fruit, some crusty bread that's still warm and smells delicious and a jug of water. He hadn't eaten in days and his belly feels like his throat has been slit. He reaches for it but the sudden flare of pain that rips through his shoulder forces a choked scream from his mouth. His skin feels like it's been flayed off.
The woman gasps and a hand settles on top of his head, brushing his hair down. "Oh dios! Está bien, está bien. Tengo algo para tu quemaduras. Alejandro! Ve a buscar algo aloe veradesde el jardín." He can hear the sound of footsteps clicking away as the man walks across the kitchen and into the garden while the woman continues to brush through his dirty hair soothingly, sitting down on the ground next to him. "¿Hablas español?" She whispers, bending down to stare into his face.
"No, Ingles." He manges to croak out as his eyes focus on her face. Large, very dark eyes stare at intently out of a smooth skinned face that's framed with long softly curling hair. She smiles at him. He opens his mouth to speak again but she's gone in a flick of hair, standing up as the man that had saved him comes back.
"Ay, ok. My English isn't very strong but I can hold a conversation. You've got really bad sunburn so I'm going to split some Aloe Vera and put this on you. It should feel much better in a moment." The sound of the plant snapping fills the air and then the whisk of a knife sharply slicing through a leaf sounds quickly before she's back before him, moving his breakfast aside to sit crossed legged before him. He tenses as she leans over him ans she makes a shushing noise.
"Oh Christ," is all he can manage as the gel like substance is applied to his feverish skin, cooling it down. He makes groaning noises of bliss as she covers him in it, working gently but fast.
"There, all done. I'll put some in the fridge, so it will feel even better next time. Can you move now?" She takes hold of his arm while the other slides around his waist and she helps him to sit up. He's hit with vertigo and he closes his eyes until it passes.
"Thank you, thanks..."
"It's ok." She squeezes his hand with a sympathetic smile. He didn't even realise she was holding it and he keeps it there as she moves the tray over to him. "Eat, you must so be so hungry." He doesn't respond but picks up the bread and breaks a chunk off. She watches him happily as he eats, making sure he has enough and topping up the water. Full he sits back, thanking her for it.
"How long was I asleep for?"
"Well my brother bought you back at dusk and it's 2 in the afternoon now. So a long time." She smiles brightly, like she's trying to lift his mood. But he just can't do it and her smile fades, an awkward pause following. She straightens and lays a hand on her chest, over the gold crucifix hanging there. "I'm Maya."
"Gabriel." There was no hesitation or second thoughts, he had settled on who he was back in that jungle, lost and waiting to die. Simultaneously as he seems to grow smaller Maya inflates, her chest expanding and a grin shines on her face.
"You have a beautiful name Gabriel." His head rises and he stares at her, at the smile that won't leave her face and his brows dip into a frown. She doesn't notice or ignores his expression, eyeing him up and down and tilting her head. "You don't have any clothe with you?" He shakes his head, looking away from her to stare at their surroundings. He was positioned in the living room, a low slung couch beside his bed and a coffee table with a vase of flowers on it. The walls were a pinkish cream colour, but for the large wooden cross hanging on the wall. He was soon to learn that an even larger one hangs in Maya's bedroom. Past the kitchen he can see the garden thought the open door.
"Is it just you and..."
"Alejandro. Si." She points down to the garden, "I grow fruit and vegetables and we sale some. Which reminds me. Ale?! Pensé que ibas a regresar al trabajo? " She shouts in Spanish and her brother answers back, coming out from his bedroom, stretching. Looks like he's been taking a nap. He looks at Gabriel then back to his sister, probably asking how he is. "He has to go to work." Maya pats Gabriel's arm and smiles at him again as she gets up and follows her brother out of the house. After awhile the sound of the truck splutters to life and drives away and Maya comes back to stare down at him and he feels a sudden strong ebbing of self confidence. He hadn't showered in days.
"I, eh, I." He plucks at his wife beater and she nods.
"Si, I'll show you were it is. You can wear some of Alejandro's clothes while I wash these." Taking her hand she helps him stand, giving him a small tour as she shows him to the bathroom. "Will you be ok?" She says compassionately and he has the crazy compulsion to say no and see what she does. She probably would help him like that but wouldn't think anything of it. Already he can tell that about her, maternal.
"I'm fine." Nodding to her he steps into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He leans against the wall, resting his head back and listens as she starts to sing again, the sound of her sandals slapping against the kitchen floor.
*
He had started crying again, in the shower. Since he had left the shack in the jungle and started seeing...things, he hadn't been able to stop. Even now his hands shake, his gaze looking at the shower head and wondering. He would have used his belt but she has it now, Maya.
He couldn't do it here, not after they had brought him in and fed him. Opening the door a crack he sees that she's left some folded clothes for him, a shirt and a pair of shorts and gets changed, wincing and whimpering as he pulls the top on over his head. Looking and smelling clean makes him feel a little more calm and he walks out to find Maya seated in the kitchen, preparing food. She smiles, always so obsequious towards him. She springs to her feet, taking his arm.
"How are you feeling?" He shrugs a shoulder as he takes a seat and she sits back down opposite. Maya stares across the table at him, her gaze lingering and careful and he does the same, though not as hungrily. Finally he looks away and she bites her lip, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, it's just that it's been so long since I've seen someone new."
"You don't have neighbours?"
"A few miles away." She leans her elbows on the table, licking her lips as she pops a cherry like fruit into her mouth. "I don't get to talk to other people, just my brother. He works everyday while I stay here..." One side of her mouth almost quirks into a snarl of displeasure before she's all smiles again, focus back to him. "So, why are you in Colombia?"
Colombia. Jesus.
He thinks quickly but it's an effort. Before it would have been easier and instinctual as breathing but now he has to muster up an effort. He just just doesn't see the point anymore. "I was visiting, in the jungle and I got lost...my things were taken from me."
Maya nods, her eyes flicking between his and they overflow with pity. She speaks tentatively. "My brother, he told me that he found you with a noose around -" but he's shaking his head, looking down at the table.
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"Ok, that's ok...would you like something to drink Gabriel?" He nods, lifting his head and she sets out cups, pouring a green liquid for both of them. It's not something he's had before, lemony. Sitting back down she tries to start a conversation again. She was very talkative. "Where do you come from?"
"New York, Queens."
"Oh, I've always wanted to go there one day, visit all those places. Go shopping." She says with a smirk, looking down at her shorts and simple vest. Another very long silence follows, Maya gaze darting at his and smiling when he holds it for more then a few seconds. Something is putting him on edge, there's something fake about her, too eager to appear happy that he's here. He's a total stranger to her, why would she be acting that she's pleased with his presence? He's a nuisance, a waste of space and air. These thoughts in mind he gets up slowly, telling her that he would like to sleep. She had danced around him, that blinding smile in place and hovered around him as he laid down on the mattress. Just as sleep claimed him he could have sworn she touched his mouth.
*
Days pass, sunny and increasingly humid. The foliage all around them is bright green and shiny, and the blue sky evinced without a cloud. Life is teeming but all Gabriel can feel is the miasmal atmosphere and the way he lackadaisically views this beautiful place. Her.
He has no life, nothing to go back for and nothing to look forward to. There's no one left, he had destroyed anything that had any real importance in his life. The one person that really cared is dead by his hand. He was Gabriel again but even more so then before he feels that he's been eviscerated.
"Smile Gabriel!"
"I think you do it enough for both of us." He whispers, with just a bite to his tone and Maya frowns at him. But she shrugs his rudeness off with a smile, goes back to frying plantains and praying. One thing about Maya that became abundantly clear was that she was zealously religious, a devout Catholic and she went about her day with a content, bright eyed cheerfulness. She was what Gabriel liked to call a bubble person, existing in a protected world of her own making. But still, there was something off here and if he was back to his old self he would have got it out of her without Maya even knowing.
He couldn't make himself care, about anything.
I don't know where she's buried...if she is... He never really counted himself as superstitious but since the jungle he had become uneasy with this thought. Revenants had visited him there, not just his mother but others and it had effected him profoundly. Now he can't stop thinking about his mother's burial, preoccupied with the certainty that if she is laid to rest than maybe he would be free of this melancholy. Maybe things could go back to the way they were.
But that was in the jungle and he was out of his mind. The problem now was that he was back to reality, no ghosts and no masks to hide behind.
*
Alejandro rises early and comes home late, working all the long day to support himself and Maya. Gabriel sits ideally by, fleetingly thinking that Maya could likely earn more money then her brother, bilingual and friendly other then surly and quiet. At least that's the way he is towards Gabriel. Maya had confessed that her twin isn't very comfortable with the two of them being alone together while he's gone. She hadn't been embarrassed when she said this, not like he expected - he wasn't blind - no for the first time a deep wariness had entered her eyes, something tormented and Gabriel had found himself staring at her, unable to look away as his mind started to swirl. It was a crack in her facade, just a glimmer before it sealed itself again.
Her twin was hiding secrets to.
The nights were insufferably hot and the jungle was hissing and humming like a machine, a spine freezing wail of an animal sounding intermittent throughout the night so Gabriel couldn't sleep, couldn't dream anything but nightmares. It must have been getting to Alejandro for he was awake, sitting on the couch with his head bowed. He must have thought Gabriel was asleep, as sleeping was all Gabriel seemed to do these days.
He was crying, silently but Gabriel could see the tear tracks on his face and his red puffy eyes. He was staring down at a picture in one hand and kept closing his fist around two gold rings in the other. Wedding bands. Gabriel had stared as the man mourned, until he had finally fallen asleep. Gabriel had never really given Maya's brother a seconds thought, never really considered what had drove them here, what had made this man become his sister's caretaker. She was an adult, fully able to care for herself and yet here they were with Maya all but under house arrest. She didn't venture out by herself unless her brother was with her and certainly didn't interact with others.
Only him. He must be a special exception.
*
"I know you don't want to be here Gabriel, that's ok. But if you want to leave you've got to earn some money, enough to travel to where you want to be."
They were seated in the garden, the overhanging roof of the house shading them and the radio faintly plays bachata in the background. Maya had been uprooting vegetables while he watched. He tilts his head at her, silent after a moment of close scrutiny. "Problem is there's no where I want to be...You must think I'm so ungrateful."
"No, no. No I think -" But he cuts her complaint off.
"I have been, and I'm sorry. I just can't seem to feel much of anything anymore."
"You're depressed." It wasn't a question. Gabriel shrugs, sitting back to look over her garden and the jungle that rings it. Maya leans over the table to his hand and takes it. "I'm trying to be your friend Gabriel, trying to help you."
"Why?"
"Because I can and I want to. I don't like to see others suffer." Her eyes shine with that strange tragic light he had seen before. He snorts softly through his nose.
"Some people deserve it Maya. Some just need to be put out of their misery." Maya had taken his belt away from him and wouldn't give it back, she was very watchful around him. Now she drags her chair next to his and gets close, looking into his face.
"Some people, maybe that's true. But the majority, those people don't get is that death is so much more terrifying then being alive." She's tremulous, her eyes rimming with tears. She looks like him. "But you've got to be strong, you've got to have faith."
"You don't know what's happened to me Maya, if you did you wouldn't think like that."
She smiles and it's suddenly obscenely sickening. "And you can't judge that about me Gabriel. This past year has been hell, terrible things have happened to me...to others. I wanted to die, to give up. But through it all I just had to," she takes both his hands in hers, gripping very tight, "had to believe that things would get better, that god would offer me salvation, would save me."
"What if...what if what you've done is past forgiveness?" He looks deep into her eyes and she doesn't flinch.
"Then you pray Gabriel and try to make amends." Gabriel looks down at her hands, at her fingernails that have almost been bitten down to the quick and back up.
"Why are you here Maya?"
Her lashes flutter and she drops her gaze. "I'm...sick, Gabriel. Me and my brother came here to start over, somewhere with no people..."
He slips a hand out from under hers and catches a strand of her hair that shines in curls in the sun. "You don't look sick."
"I wish that were true." She sits back in her chair and looks at the jungle with an occupied expression, leaving Gabriel to ponder her words.
*
Maya had suggested that he leave if he wasn't settled there - she was very eager for him to stay, much to her brother's increasing suspicion and dislike - but the truth was he had no where to live and here he was off the radar. Little by little, as the days past into months he and Maya grow closer, Gabriel more comfortable around her. He was still off put by her forced jollity but he's come to realise that she needs to, because of this mysterious illness she quietly suffers from. Deep down she's terrified of it.
"Alejandro didn't come home again last night..." Maya, finishing plaiting off her hair stands from her bed and walks out to the living area where Gabriel is.
"I think he's finally reached the edge, he can't stand me." He had tried going to work with him, making deliveries in his truck but it hadn't worked out.
Maya rolls her eyes and puts a hand on her hip, watching Gabriel as he fiddles around with a small television set they had picked up. "You know that's not true...sort of. No, I think he's got a girlfriend..." She cleans away their breakfast, moody expression marring her face but stops when he rubs at his forehead in pain. "Your headaches?"
"Yeah...You know I used to...uh." He hesitates, avoiding uttering something so small. Glasses, he needs glasses. Without them he's giving himself thumping headaches but to get them would be another thing to cement his identity. Gabriel Gray.
"Que? You need glasses?" He nods, not looking up at her. Maya tilts her head, envisioning him with them. "You know what your um, what's it called in English?"
"Prescription. Yeah I do."
"Good, then you can go to the city with Alejandro. If he comes back..." Just as she's about to leave him Gabriel grabs her hand, standing up and follows her into the kitchen.
"Why don't you come with us?" He remains unanswered as she washes up the plates but then speaks softly.
"You know I can't, it's safer if I stay here."
"Safer? What do you mean? Maya?" He turns her to face him as she drys her hands and she looks somberly up into his face, shaking her head.
"You would think I was crazy Gabriel...I see you looking at me with scorn already, the first day you came here. I remember. You think I don't see but I do." He opens his mouth to apologise but she's turned her cheek away. "You were raised Catholic, like me but this I think you would have a hard time believing. And I wouldn't blame you. It's better if you don't know. Only my brother does..."
"You don't trust me? I thought you wanted to help me? Save me?" He says it with disgust. He's not worth saving and in his darker moments he's starting to believe he's something of a pet project to her, a score card. She wants to make amends and she's using him to do it. Whether he wants to be or not. "I don't think you want to help me, Maya." He says significantly.
She turns sharply, her gaze fierce. "I...cono!" She barks, fire entering her eyes. "You have no idea, Gabriel, no idea. Just drop it." She finishes in a brusque manner, slapping the tea down down on the counter top. Gabriel stares fiercely at her, feeling a strong swell of reproach and hurt. Maya walks out into the garden where he knows she's gone to cool off. She hated to be riled up.
For hours he lies on his mat, looking up at the light splashed across the ceiling and tries not to think about her but he can't stop, imagning himself going up to her and grabbing her, shaking her, make her see him. Doing other things. He's so engrossed in it he doesn't hear Maya the first time.
"I think I'm possessed, Gabriel." She sat on the edge of the couch, hands clasped together between her legs. He sits up, blinking in confusion.
"What?"
"There's something very wrong with me, something in me hurts people. I'm in trouble Gabriel and I'm so fucking scared but, but I've got to stay positive, I've got to believe that I'm not cursed forever. I do care about you Gabriel, whatever else you think about me please believe that." Gabriel keeps silent but gets to his knees. He doesn't know what to say, he knows Maya is ill but possessed?
"You mean like...demon possession?" It sounds so ridiculous and he can feel himself frowning. Maya doesn't do anything, just stares at him for a very long time before she leans over him and places the palm of her hand against his cheek.
"Before, I was upset about my brother...I'm nervous about being left alone."
"I'm not going anywhere Maya, not unless you want me to go?" His stomach lurches up and down as Maya rubs her thumb along his cheek, moving her face closer so that she's inches away. Gabriel stops breathing.
"I don't want you to leave me and I do trust you, ok? I'd never, never hurt you. But just forget what I told you. I feel like a fool for talking about it. Please?" Her gaze pierces him, desperate.
"Ok, ok Maya." He can't stop staring at her and rises with her as she gets up. Forget what she just said? She's either crazy or...what? Maybe he should just forget it, he's not a paragon of mental stability himself.
*
"Do you like it?" She's got a new white dress on, something to wear to church. He had agreed to go with her.
He puts his glasses on and watches as she does a little twirl on her bare feet. She was beautiful and he couldn't bare this much longer. He tried to pretend that any desire for her wasn't there but it pikes through in flares when he looks at her now. It always had but now it was so much more intense, especially as it was just the two of them living here. Before he was too preoccupied with his own pain.
"You look great, bonito."
"Thank you. I really want to get a sewing machine, start making my own stuff you know? Would you look around for me, something not too expensive? Or maybe I can have a look when we go into town on Sunday, it should be ok...Or maybe I should strip in front of you and you can take my measurements? Would you like that? Would that get through to you Señor Frígida?"
He had been tuning her out and only realises she had stopped talking when she's right in front of him, her arms coming around his waist and pressing her body against his. He stands shocked, looking down at the top of her head while his arms hang at his sides. He had been hugged before but it was usually ritualistic - in greeting, on special occasions like birthdays and funerals. Hug and then let go. He's never been held for the sake of it. He settles his hands against her back, fingers caught up in her soft hair and she looks up into his face.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because you need it...and because I need it to. I like you Gabriel." He can hear an unvoiced duh there. She stands on tiptoe and plants a quick kiss on his lips and then leans back with a smile, eyes shining. His mouth remains parted and breathes shallowly before he crushes his lips back against hers, hands suddenly coming to life as they travel down her body, groping and rubbing. Maya moans into his mouth, forcing her tongue past his teeth and Gabriel growls, pushing her body against the wall. Licking her lips Maya holds him tight as he kisses her neck, gasping.
"Why has it taken you so long to do this? Ay, I was considering going back to the nunnery." She laughs, as she messes up his neat hair.
He stops kissing along her throat to stare hazily at her. "I was waiting for you." She grins, shaking her head and they stand there holding onto the other, Gabriel running his fingers through her hair. "What if Alejandro comes back now? I think he'd kill me."
She makes a dissenting noise, running her hand down his chest towards his pants. "No! Maybe only castrate..." She rubs her fingers along his erection and he moans. He wants her to touch him harder but he still feels too inexperienced to carry out on the feeling.
"So I get off lightly then..." He pushes her with his body towards her bedroom and she twists out of his hold, flushed and happy.
"Nah-uh, not yet. What do you think I am?" She teases, sitting down to put her shoes on. Gabriel sighs and stands next to her, fingers playing with her hair.
"You're not gonna tell me we have to get married are you?" He says, half serious as she gets up and and cups his face.
"Of course Gabriel." She plants her lips against his and he can feel her smiling. "I expect nothing less." He half laughs, groans into her mouth and kisses her hard, pushing their bodies closer and closer.
Although Gabriel always expects some sort of retribution and punishment to happen, a part of him still welcomes it, although he still mourns the loss of his old life he's just settling into this with a centred and settled aura, something about her he's absorbed and clung to. Back to being boring he calls it, wondering why Maya would have this life with him - all the old insecurities come with his name and it's as comfortable and known as old clothes. But she corrects him on her closely held doctrine.
"Uneventful, Gabriel, is bliss. I could have have an eternity of that and you."
Characters/Pairing: Maya/Gabriel
Rating: R (suicidal themes and Gabriel angst :x)
Word count: Really long :x
Disclaimer: Do not own.
Summery: There's a sickness in both of them
Note: Before Maya found Chandra's book she and Ale ventured South into the jungle.
He's not "Sylar" anymore. AU
"Are you alive?"
The man was lying in a fetal position by the side of the road, the suns rays baking him alive so that Alejandro winces to see the extreme and painful sunburn the man is inflicted with. The trees sway softly on either side of the road, the sound of the jungle humming around them. The leaves rustle together as a frayed end of rope swings gently back and forth. The other end of it is coiled around the man's neck. The road is deserted but for them and the birds.
His stomach twisting sickeningly Alejandro inspects closer and sees with relief that he's breathing shallowly but with eyes staring blankly ahead which give the illusion of death. He remains unresponsive to his calls but Alejandro can hear the way the man's stomach rumbles. He's filthy and extremely disoriented and Alejandro is left wondering how he even had the strength to hang himself.
"You need to go to a hospital but I don't have enough gas to get there..." he speaks aloud to himself as the white man's eyes blink and finally stare up at him. Alejandro shudders but offers him a smile, laying a hand on his arm, avoiding the burn. "You're ok, I'll help you." He hooks his arm around the man's waist, careful not to touch the man's sensitive skin and gets him to his feet. The hanged man is much taller then he is and he leans all of his weight against him, sluggishly moving as best he can. He limps on a foot and shows his teeth in a pained grimace, closing his eyes as Alejandro bundles him into the back of his pickup truck, moving the crates to create space for him. Once settled, curling his body up like a baby again, Alejandro gets behind the wheel and starts the ignition, his eyes darting to the mirror as the sound of muffled crying reaches his ear. It's persistent for most of the journey but tapers off as they reach home. He needs his sister's help and so calls for her but he does so with a foreboding emotion.
This is the first guest they've had in a year of peacefully living in this place.
*
Faint sounds of music plays hauntingly in another room, a woman's husky lament of a voice singing in tandem with the radio and he finds himself sinking into the tragic air of it and loosing himself.
"El hombre está despierto"
"He hecho algo para él para comer. Pobre hombre ..." The husky singing stops when she speaks but the one on the radio continues, now a quiet wail. He's lying on his belly and by the feel of it on top a palliasse. Just then a pair of women's legs, smooth and bronzed, come into his field of vision and then bend down in front of him. "Buenos días, he hecho algunasdesayuno." She says this very softly, tenderly but he has no idea what she's saying. Only that she's wished him good morning, that's as far as his Spanish lessons went.
She sets a tray down on the stone flagged floor; it's ladled with a bowl of chopped fruit, some crusty bread that's still warm and smells delicious and a jug of water. He hadn't eaten in days and his belly feels like his throat has been slit. He reaches for it but the sudden flare of pain that rips through his shoulder forces a choked scream from his mouth. His skin feels like it's been flayed off.
The woman gasps and a hand settles on top of his head, brushing his hair down. "Oh dios! Está bien, está bien. Tengo algo para tu quemaduras. Alejandro! Ve a buscar algo aloe veradesde el jardín." He can hear the sound of footsteps clicking away as the man walks across the kitchen and into the garden while the woman continues to brush through his dirty hair soothingly, sitting down on the ground next to him. "¿Hablas español?" She whispers, bending down to stare into his face.
"No, Ingles." He manges to croak out as his eyes focus on her face. Large, very dark eyes stare at intently out of a smooth skinned face that's framed with long softly curling hair. She smiles at him. He opens his mouth to speak again but she's gone in a flick of hair, standing up as the man that had saved him comes back.
"Ay, ok. My English isn't very strong but I can hold a conversation. You've got really bad sunburn so I'm going to split some Aloe Vera and put this on you. It should feel much better in a moment." The sound of the plant snapping fills the air and then the whisk of a knife sharply slicing through a leaf sounds quickly before she's back before him, moving his breakfast aside to sit crossed legged before him. He tenses as she leans over him ans she makes a shushing noise.
"Oh Christ," is all he can manage as the gel like substance is applied to his feverish skin, cooling it down. He makes groaning noises of bliss as she covers him in it, working gently but fast.
"There, all done. I'll put some in the fridge, so it will feel even better next time. Can you move now?" She takes hold of his arm while the other slides around his waist and she helps him to sit up. He's hit with vertigo and he closes his eyes until it passes.
"Thank you, thanks..."
"It's ok." She squeezes his hand with a sympathetic smile. He didn't even realise she was holding it and he keeps it there as she moves the tray over to him. "Eat, you must so be so hungry." He doesn't respond but picks up the bread and breaks a chunk off. She watches him happily as he eats, making sure he has enough and topping up the water. Full he sits back, thanking her for it.
"How long was I asleep for?"
"Well my brother bought you back at dusk and it's 2 in the afternoon now. So a long time." She smiles brightly, like she's trying to lift his mood. But he just can't do it and her smile fades, an awkward pause following. She straightens and lays a hand on her chest, over the gold crucifix hanging there. "I'm Maya."
"Gabriel." There was no hesitation or second thoughts, he had settled on who he was back in that jungle, lost and waiting to die. Simultaneously as he seems to grow smaller Maya inflates, her chest expanding and a grin shines on her face.
"You have a beautiful name Gabriel." His head rises and he stares at her, at the smile that won't leave her face and his brows dip into a frown. She doesn't notice or ignores his expression, eyeing him up and down and tilting her head. "You don't have any clothe with you?" He shakes his head, looking away from her to stare at their surroundings. He was positioned in the living room, a low slung couch beside his bed and a coffee table with a vase of flowers on it. The walls were a pinkish cream colour, but for the large wooden cross hanging on the wall. He was soon to learn that an even larger one hangs in Maya's bedroom. Past the kitchen he can see the garden thought the open door.
"Is it just you and..."
"Alejandro. Si." She points down to the garden, "I grow fruit and vegetables and we sale some. Which reminds me. Ale?! Pensé que ibas a regresar al trabajo? " She shouts in Spanish and her brother answers back, coming out from his bedroom, stretching. Looks like he's been taking a nap. He looks at Gabriel then back to his sister, probably asking how he is. "He has to go to work." Maya pats Gabriel's arm and smiles at him again as she gets up and follows her brother out of the house. After awhile the sound of the truck splutters to life and drives away and Maya comes back to stare down at him and he feels a sudden strong ebbing of self confidence. He hadn't showered in days.
"I, eh, I." He plucks at his wife beater and she nods.
"Si, I'll show you were it is. You can wear some of Alejandro's clothes while I wash these." Taking her hand she helps him stand, giving him a small tour as she shows him to the bathroom. "Will you be ok?" She says compassionately and he has the crazy compulsion to say no and see what she does. She probably would help him like that but wouldn't think anything of it. Already he can tell that about her, maternal.
"I'm fine." Nodding to her he steps into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He leans against the wall, resting his head back and listens as she starts to sing again, the sound of her sandals slapping against the kitchen floor.
*
He had started crying again, in the shower. Since he had left the shack in the jungle and started seeing...things, he hadn't been able to stop. Even now his hands shake, his gaze looking at the shower head and wondering. He would have used his belt but she has it now, Maya.
He couldn't do it here, not after they had brought him in and fed him. Opening the door a crack he sees that she's left some folded clothes for him, a shirt and a pair of shorts and gets changed, wincing and whimpering as he pulls the top on over his head. Looking and smelling clean makes him feel a little more calm and he walks out to find Maya seated in the kitchen, preparing food. She smiles, always so obsequious towards him. She springs to her feet, taking his arm.
"How are you feeling?" He shrugs a shoulder as he takes a seat and she sits back down opposite. Maya stares across the table at him, her gaze lingering and careful and he does the same, though not as hungrily. Finally he looks away and she bites her lip, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, it's just that it's been so long since I've seen someone new."
"You don't have neighbours?"
"A few miles away." She leans her elbows on the table, licking her lips as she pops a cherry like fruit into her mouth. "I don't get to talk to other people, just my brother. He works everyday while I stay here..." One side of her mouth almost quirks into a snarl of displeasure before she's all smiles again, focus back to him. "So, why are you in Colombia?"
Colombia. Jesus.
He thinks quickly but it's an effort. Before it would have been easier and instinctual as breathing but now he has to muster up an effort. He just just doesn't see the point anymore. "I was visiting, in the jungle and I got lost...my things were taken from me."
Maya nods, her eyes flicking between his and they overflow with pity. She speaks tentatively. "My brother, he told me that he found you with a noose around -" but he's shaking his head, looking down at the table.
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"Ok, that's ok...would you like something to drink Gabriel?" He nods, lifting his head and she sets out cups, pouring a green liquid for both of them. It's not something he's had before, lemony. Sitting back down she tries to start a conversation again. She was very talkative. "Where do you come from?"
"New York, Queens."
"Oh, I've always wanted to go there one day, visit all those places. Go shopping." She says with a smirk, looking down at her shorts and simple vest. Another very long silence follows, Maya gaze darting at his and smiling when he holds it for more then a few seconds. Something is putting him on edge, there's something fake about her, too eager to appear happy that he's here. He's a total stranger to her, why would she be acting that she's pleased with his presence? He's a nuisance, a waste of space and air. These thoughts in mind he gets up slowly, telling her that he would like to sleep. She had danced around him, that blinding smile in place and hovered around him as he laid down on the mattress. Just as sleep claimed him he could have sworn she touched his mouth.
*
Days pass, sunny and increasingly humid. The foliage all around them is bright green and shiny, and the blue sky evinced without a cloud. Life is teeming but all Gabriel can feel is the miasmal atmosphere and the way he lackadaisically views this beautiful place. Her.
He has no life, nothing to go back for and nothing to look forward to. There's no one left, he had destroyed anything that had any real importance in his life. The one person that really cared is dead by his hand. He was Gabriel again but even more so then before he feels that he's been eviscerated.
"Smile Gabriel!"
"I think you do it enough for both of us." He whispers, with just a bite to his tone and Maya frowns at him. But she shrugs his rudeness off with a smile, goes back to frying plantains and praying. One thing about Maya that became abundantly clear was that she was zealously religious, a devout Catholic and she went about her day with a content, bright eyed cheerfulness. She was what Gabriel liked to call a bubble person, existing in a protected world of her own making. But still, there was something off here and if he was back to his old self he would have got it out of her without Maya even knowing.
He couldn't make himself care, about anything.
I don't know where she's buried...if she is... He never really counted himself as superstitious but since the jungle he had become uneasy with this thought. Revenants had visited him there, not just his mother but others and it had effected him profoundly. Now he can't stop thinking about his mother's burial, preoccupied with the certainty that if she is laid to rest than maybe he would be free of this melancholy. Maybe things could go back to the way they were.
But that was in the jungle and he was out of his mind. The problem now was that he was back to reality, no ghosts and no masks to hide behind.
*
Alejandro rises early and comes home late, working all the long day to support himself and Maya. Gabriel sits ideally by, fleetingly thinking that Maya could likely earn more money then her brother, bilingual and friendly other then surly and quiet. At least that's the way he is towards Gabriel. Maya had confessed that her twin isn't very comfortable with the two of them being alone together while he's gone. She hadn't been embarrassed when she said this, not like he expected - he wasn't blind - no for the first time a deep wariness had entered her eyes, something tormented and Gabriel had found himself staring at her, unable to look away as his mind started to swirl. It was a crack in her facade, just a glimmer before it sealed itself again.
Her twin was hiding secrets to.
The nights were insufferably hot and the jungle was hissing and humming like a machine, a spine freezing wail of an animal sounding intermittent throughout the night so Gabriel couldn't sleep, couldn't dream anything but nightmares. It must have been getting to Alejandro for he was awake, sitting on the couch with his head bowed. He must have thought Gabriel was asleep, as sleeping was all Gabriel seemed to do these days.
He was crying, silently but Gabriel could see the tear tracks on his face and his red puffy eyes. He was staring down at a picture in one hand and kept closing his fist around two gold rings in the other. Wedding bands. Gabriel had stared as the man mourned, until he had finally fallen asleep. Gabriel had never really given Maya's brother a seconds thought, never really considered what had drove them here, what had made this man become his sister's caretaker. She was an adult, fully able to care for herself and yet here they were with Maya all but under house arrest. She didn't venture out by herself unless her brother was with her and certainly didn't interact with others.
Only him. He must be a special exception.
*
"I know you don't want to be here Gabriel, that's ok. But if you want to leave you've got to earn some money, enough to travel to where you want to be."
They were seated in the garden, the overhanging roof of the house shading them and the radio faintly plays bachata in the background. Maya had been uprooting vegetables while he watched. He tilts his head at her, silent after a moment of close scrutiny. "Problem is there's no where I want to be...You must think I'm so ungrateful."
"No, no. No I think -" But he cuts her complaint off.
"I have been, and I'm sorry. I just can't seem to feel much of anything anymore."
"You're depressed." It wasn't a question. Gabriel shrugs, sitting back to look over her garden and the jungle that rings it. Maya leans over the table to his hand and takes it. "I'm trying to be your friend Gabriel, trying to help you."
"Why?"
"Because I can and I want to. I don't like to see others suffer." Her eyes shine with that strange tragic light he had seen before. He snorts softly through his nose.
"Some people deserve it Maya. Some just need to be put out of their misery." Maya had taken his belt away from him and wouldn't give it back, she was very watchful around him. Now she drags her chair next to his and gets close, looking into his face.
"Some people, maybe that's true. But the majority, those people don't get is that death is so much more terrifying then being alive." She's tremulous, her eyes rimming with tears. She looks like him. "But you've got to be strong, you've got to have faith."
"You don't know what's happened to me Maya, if you did you wouldn't think like that."
She smiles and it's suddenly obscenely sickening. "And you can't judge that about me Gabriel. This past year has been hell, terrible things have happened to me...to others. I wanted to die, to give up. But through it all I just had to," she takes both his hands in hers, gripping very tight, "had to believe that things would get better, that god would offer me salvation, would save me."
"What if...what if what you've done is past forgiveness?" He looks deep into her eyes and she doesn't flinch.
"Then you pray Gabriel and try to make amends." Gabriel looks down at her hands, at her fingernails that have almost been bitten down to the quick and back up.
"Why are you here Maya?"
Her lashes flutter and she drops her gaze. "I'm...sick, Gabriel. Me and my brother came here to start over, somewhere with no people..."
He slips a hand out from under hers and catches a strand of her hair that shines in curls in the sun. "You don't look sick."
"I wish that were true." She sits back in her chair and looks at the jungle with an occupied expression, leaving Gabriel to ponder her words.
*
Maya had suggested that he leave if he wasn't settled there - she was very eager for him to stay, much to her brother's increasing suspicion and dislike - but the truth was he had no where to live and here he was off the radar. Little by little, as the days past into months he and Maya grow closer, Gabriel more comfortable around her. He was still off put by her forced jollity but he's come to realise that she needs to, because of this mysterious illness she quietly suffers from. Deep down she's terrified of it.
"Alejandro didn't come home again last night..." Maya, finishing plaiting off her hair stands from her bed and walks out to the living area where Gabriel is.
"I think he's finally reached the edge, he can't stand me." He had tried going to work with him, making deliveries in his truck but it hadn't worked out.
Maya rolls her eyes and puts a hand on her hip, watching Gabriel as he fiddles around with a small television set they had picked up. "You know that's not true...sort of. No, I think he's got a girlfriend..." She cleans away their breakfast, moody expression marring her face but stops when he rubs at his forehead in pain. "Your headaches?"
"Yeah...You know I used to...uh." He hesitates, avoiding uttering something so small. Glasses, he needs glasses. Without them he's giving himself thumping headaches but to get them would be another thing to cement his identity. Gabriel Gray.
"Que? You need glasses?" He nods, not looking up at her. Maya tilts her head, envisioning him with them. "You know what your um, what's it called in English?"
"Prescription. Yeah I do."
"Good, then you can go to the city with Alejandro. If he comes back..." Just as she's about to leave him Gabriel grabs her hand, standing up and follows her into the kitchen.
"Why don't you come with us?" He remains unanswered as she washes up the plates but then speaks softly.
"You know I can't, it's safer if I stay here."
"Safer? What do you mean? Maya?" He turns her to face him as she drys her hands and she looks somberly up into his face, shaking her head.
"You would think I was crazy Gabriel...I see you looking at me with scorn already, the first day you came here. I remember. You think I don't see but I do." He opens his mouth to apologise but she's turned her cheek away. "You were raised Catholic, like me but this I think you would have a hard time believing. And I wouldn't blame you. It's better if you don't know. Only my brother does..."
"You don't trust me? I thought you wanted to help me? Save me?" He says it with disgust. He's not worth saving and in his darker moments he's starting to believe he's something of a pet project to her, a score card. She wants to make amends and she's using him to do it. Whether he wants to be or not. "I don't think you want to help me, Maya." He says significantly.
She turns sharply, her gaze fierce. "I...cono!" She barks, fire entering her eyes. "You have no idea, Gabriel, no idea. Just drop it." She finishes in a brusque manner, slapping the tea down down on the counter top. Gabriel stares fiercely at her, feeling a strong swell of reproach and hurt. Maya walks out into the garden where he knows she's gone to cool off. She hated to be riled up.
For hours he lies on his mat, looking up at the light splashed across the ceiling and tries not to think about her but he can't stop, imagning himself going up to her and grabbing her, shaking her, make her see him. Doing other things. He's so engrossed in it he doesn't hear Maya the first time.
"I think I'm possessed, Gabriel." She sat on the edge of the couch, hands clasped together between her legs. He sits up, blinking in confusion.
"What?"
"There's something very wrong with me, something in me hurts people. I'm in trouble Gabriel and I'm so fucking scared but, but I've got to stay positive, I've got to believe that I'm not cursed forever. I do care about you Gabriel, whatever else you think about me please believe that." Gabriel keeps silent but gets to his knees. He doesn't know what to say, he knows Maya is ill but possessed?
"You mean like...demon possession?" It sounds so ridiculous and he can feel himself frowning. Maya doesn't do anything, just stares at him for a very long time before she leans over him and places the palm of her hand against his cheek.
"Before, I was upset about my brother...I'm nervous about being left alone."
"I'm not going anywhere Maya, not unless you want me to go?" His stomach lurches up and down as Maya rubs her thumb along his cheek, moving her face closer so that she's inches away. Gabriel stops breathing.
"I don't want you to leave me and I do trust you, ok? I'd never, never hurt you. But just forget what I told you. I feel like a fool for talking about it. Please?" Her gaze pierces him, desperate.
"Ok, ok Maya." He can't stop staring at her and rises with her as she gets up. Forget what she just said? She's either crazy or...what? Maybe he should just forget it, he's not a paragon of mental stability himself.
*
"Do you like it?" She's got a new white dress on, something to wear to church. He had agreed to go with her.
He puts his glasses on and watches as she does a little twirl on her bare feet. She was beautiful and he couldn't bare this much longer. He tried to pretend that any desire for her wasn't there but it pikes through in flares when he looks at her now. It always had but now it was so much more intense, especially as it was just the two of them living here. Before he was too preoccupied with his own pain.
"You look great, bonito."
"Thank you. I really want to get a sewing machine, start making my own stuff you know? Would you look around for me, something not too expensive? Or maybe I can have a look when we go into town on Sunday, it should be ok...Or maybe I should strip in front of you and you can take my measurements? Would you like that? Would that get through to you Señor Frígida?"
He had been tuning her out and only realises she had stopped talking when she's right in front of him, her arms coming around his waist and pressing her body against his. He stands shocked, looking down at the top of her head while his arms hang at his sides. He had been hugged before but it was usually ritualistic - in greeting, on special occasions like birthdays and funerals. Hug and then let go. He's never been held for the sake of it. He settles his hands against her back, fingers caught up in her soft hair and she looks up into his face.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because you need it...and because I need it to. I like you Gabriel." He can hear an unvoiced duh there. She stands on tiptoe and plants a quick kiss on his lips and then leans back with a smile, eyes shining. His mouth remains parted and breathes shallowly before he crushes his lips back against hers, hands suddenly coming to life as they travel down her body, groping and rubbing. Maya moans into his mouth, forcing her tongue past his teeth and Gabriel growls, pushing her body against the wall. Licking her lips Maya holds him tight as he kisses her neck, gasping.
"Why has it taken you so long to do this? Ay, I was considering going back to the nunnery." She laughs, as she messes up his neat hair.
He stops kissing along her throat to stare hazily at her. "I was waiting for you." She grins, shaking her head and they stand there holding onto the other, Gabriel running his fingers through her hair. "What if Alejandro comes back now? I think he'd kill me."
She makes a dissenting noise, running her hand down his chest towards his pants. "No! Maybe only castrate..." She rubs her fingers along his erection and he moans. He wants her to touch him harder but he still feels too inexperienced to carry out on the feeling.
"So I get off lightly then..." He pushes her with his body towards her bedroom and she twists out of his hold, flushed and happy.
"Nah-uh, not yet. What do you think I am?" She teases, sitting down to put her shoes on. Gabriel sighs and stands next to her, fingers playing with her hair.
"You're not gonna tell me we have to get married are you?" He says, half serious as she gets up and and cups his face.
"Of course Gabriel." She plants her lips against his and he can feel her smiling. "I expect nothing less." He half laughs, groans into her mouth and kisses her hard, pushing their bodies closer and closer.
Although Gabriel always expects some sort of retribution and punishment to happen, a part of him still welcomes it, although he still mourns the loss of his old life he's just settling into this with a centred and settled aura, something about her he's absorbed and clung to. Back to being boring he calls it, wondering why Maya would have this life with him - all the old insecurities come with his name and it's as comfortable and known as old clothes. But she corrects him on her closely held doctrine.
"Uneventful, Gabriel, is bliss. I could have have an eternity of that and you."