[fic] A Little Too Broken - 1
TITLE: A Little Too Broken (1/2)
PAIRING: Naruse Ryou/Serizawa Naoto (Ohno Satoshi/Ikuta Toma)
LENGTH: 2 Parts. (4420 words total).
DRAMA: Maou
GENRE: Angst. But it's Maou, so that's probably expected. xD
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: Dark themes, implied sexual situations, and SPOILERS for the drama.
NOTES: Please don't read if you haven't seen the show all the way through? Several lines are taken directly from the last episode and it will spoil the ending for you. Seriously, you've been warned.
ALSO:... Part one was intended to be a stand-alone piece, and it still can be. Part 2 is simply a continuation (and also the source of the R rating).
- - -
We’re give and take, but mostly take. You shiver like you’ll shatter as I reach for you, and sometimes I want to squeeze until you snap.
- - -
“What do you want me to do, Serizawa?” Naruse said slowly, and Naoto couldn’t tell if the question was taunting him or daring him. “What do you think would solve this?”
“Kill me.” He said earnestly, meaning the request. He was sick of the people he cared about being hurt because of him. He wanted the cycle to end, and his own death would be a much more welcome price than the loss of any more lives.
The lawyer smirked coolly. “I can’t.” He said, and the detective wondered why he wouldn’t finish that sentence. ‘Yet’, he was sure, was how it was meant to end… wasn’t it? Naruse was still watching his frustrated expression, calmly waiting for his response. It was infuriating.
“… Then kiss me.” The words were out of his mouth before he could take them back, and he found that he hardly felt he even wanted to. It was only his rational side that said stop, that this was wrong, that he shouldn’t want this, and Serizawa Naoto had never been a rational person. Always, he jumped into things without considering reason or consequence. He let his emotions and passion for things guide him, and this case was no exception.
He’d be lying to himself if he denied some sort of attraction to the lawyer. Since they met, running into each other all the time -meetings he now realized were probably not nearly as strangely coincidental as he’d thought-, he’d felt some sort of magnetic pull towards Naruse Ryou. Perhaps because their pasts or maybe even destinies were so closely related and intertwined… He’d been thinking so much more of fate and those things lately, they were topics he hadn’t believed in before but Shiori’s guidance in the case had been affecting his thoughts more than he outwardly realized.
Many times over the last few months he had woken, clothes and sheets sticking to him with sweat, the lawyer’s cold gaze seeming to burn his skin with a piercing stare even after he’d left the dream. It was twisted now that he knew Naruse’s real identity, he supposed, to still feel that churning in the pit of his stomach when their gazes met… but he couldn’t stop it. It was sick, but he couldn’t stop now that he’d started… no matter what his rational side said.
To his pleasure, Naruse Ryou broke his cool exterior long enough to take a half step back and look genuinely surprised by the request. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again as though he couldn’t decide what to respond with. Small creases formed between his brows as he frowned. “…What?” He went with at length, perhaps thinking he’d heard wrong.
“Kiss me, Naruse-san…” The fact that they were in a quiet hall of the police station didn’t seem to matter at that point; he didn’t care if someone could potentially round the corner and see them. Most people had actually gone home already anyhow, so Naoto repeated his request, unable to keep himself from trembling under the lawyer’s stern and searching gaze.
He saw something flash in Naruse’s eyes at the name, as though he’d been expecting to be called Manaka Tomo or Amano Makoto instead, but Naoto couldn’t do that. To him those names held either remorse and pity or hate. It was the lawyer, Naruse Ryou, and only him that he would make this request to. Any other name would be wrong.
Naruse’s gaze hardened, he stepped close enough that there was only an inch or two between their bodies, and Naoto could feel the heat radiating through the lawyer’s clothes. “Do you think that will fix things?”
“…No.” He answered truthfully, not breaking eye contact for an instant.
And Naruse kissed him.
Naoto had half expected it to be violent, full of the desperate pain he felt and wanted Serizawa to share, but he was wrong. Naruse’s lips were cool and they pressed gently against his, brushing Naoto’s chapped ones and leaving feather-light kisses at each of the corners. His kisses were tentative, full of uncertainty and wavering emotion, like the fluttering of a frail bird’s wings. Naoto stayed perfectly still, like he’d been paralyzed. The lawyer’s fingertips pressed gingerly into his forearm and used more pressure when Naruse paused to exhale shakily. There was something so beautifully fragile and heartbreaking about the scene that Naoto felt his chest tighten painfully. His eyes burned, and he had to blink back tears as he swallowed the stinging lump in his throat.
Naruse noticed, settling back on his heels and staring distantly down through his lashes in the vague direction of the detective’s collarbones. “What else?” He said quietly, voice somewhat raw.
“What?” Naoto blinked again, swallowing thickly in an attempt to calm himself. The lawyer looked physically pained.
“What else do you want to take from me?” He elaborated. His fingernails bit lightly into the skin of the detective’s arm and he forced an expression of calm on face before continuing. “I don’t have much left.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“That was, actually, my first kiss.”
“I’m so sorry, Naruse-san…” Naoto’s voice cracked, tears welling in his vision as he sunk to his knees, forcing the lawyer to release him and leave crescent-shaped dents in his skin.
“When you took away my family and my future, I gave up on those kinds of firsts… but now you’ve taken that too.” He continued solemnly, quietly.
“Please,” Naoto begged, head bowed and fists clenching the pressed black fabric of the lawyer’s pants. “Please forgive me! I was young then, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. It was an accident, Naruse-san, I was just a kid!”
“So was I.” The lawyer murmured, and his words tore a soft sob from the detective’s throat. “I didn’t know what I was doing… but it’s too late now. I can’t stop this anymore…”
“Please…”
“I only wish you were more thorough, Serizawa.” His voice had risen, almost back to a normal level now. “Take everything.” He crouched, reaching out and closing the detective’s hand firmly around something cool and metal. “Leave me with nothing; nothing pure. I don’t want anything left to lose.”
Naoto lifted his head slowly, cheeks wet with tears, and he felt a stab of pain in his chest at the surprising vulnerability in the lawyer’s eyes, though Naruse’s expression was otherwise as cold and serious as ever. “Do you-… Do you really think that will fix things?” He asked shakily, repeating the question Naruse had asked him earlier.
Naruse Ryou paused, and then the faintest of smiles turned the corners of his lips. “…No.” He answered quietly, dropping his gaze and then standing slowly and gracefully. “… We’re a little too broken for repair, Serizawa.”
Naruse’s shoes tapped familiarly as they echoed down the hall, fading away into nothing, and Serizawa Naoto got to his feet on legs that seemed much weaker now than they had earlier. He stared at the silver house key in his palm as he leaned against the wall to catch his breath and control himself.
They were really hopeless. It was so unfair, and yet he also could see no end to it. It was almost like the cycle of hurt and revenge was out of both of their control. He hated it, but he too couldn’t stop what he’d started. Not anymore. His rational side told him to stay away. He was already so involved, he’d already done so much, and it would be bad to get himself in deeper.
But the lawyer’s address wasn’t hard to find, and Serizawa Naoto had never been a rational person.
- - -
Part two, a continuation...
PAIRING: Naruse Ryou/Serizawa Naoto (Ohno Satoshi/Ikuta Toma)
LENGTH: 2 Parts. (4420 words total).
DRAMA: Maou
GENRE: Angst. But it's Maou, so that's probably expected. xD
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: Dark themes, implied sexual situations, and SPOILERS for the drama.
NOTES: Please don't read if you haven't seen the show all the way through? Several lines are taken directly from the last episode and it will spoil the ending for you. Seriously, you've been warned.
ALSO:... Part one was intended to be a stand-alone piece, and it still can be. Part 2 is simply a continuation (and also the source of the R rating).
- - -
We’re give and take, but mostly take. You shiver like you’ll shatter as I reach for you, and sometimes I want to squeeze until you snap.
- - -
“What do you want me to do, Serizawa?” Naruse said slowly, and Naoto couldn’t tell if the question was taunting him or daring him. “What do you think would solve this?”
“Kill me.” He said earnestly, meaning the request. He was sick of the people he cared about being hurt because of him. He wanted the cycle to end, and his own death would be a much more welcome price than the loss of any more lives.
The lawyer smirked coolly. “I can’t.” He said, and the detective wondered why he wouldn’t finish that sentence. ‘Yet’, he was sure, was how it was meant to end… wasn’t it? Naruse was still watching his frustrated expression, calmly waiting for his response. It was infuriating.
“… Then kiss me.” The words were out of his mouth before he could take them back, and he found that he hardly felt he even wanted to. It was only his rational side that said stop, that this was wrong, that he shouldn’t want this, and Serizawa Naoto had never been a rational person. Always, he jumped into things without considering reason or consequence. He let his emotions and passion for things guide him, and this case was no exception.
He’d be lying to himself if he denied some sort of attraction to the lawyer. Since they met, running into each other all the time -meetings he now realized were probably not nearly as strangely coincidental as he’d thought-, he’d felt some sort of magnetic pull towards Naruse Ryou. Perhaps because their pasts or maybe even destinies were so closely related and intertwined… He’d been thinking so much more of fate and those things lately, they were topics he hadn’t believed in before but Shiori’s guidance in the case had been affecting his thoughts more than he outwardly realized.
Many times over the last few months he had woken, clothes and sheets sticking to him with sweat, the lawyer’s cold gaze seeming to burn his skin with a piercing stare even after he’d left the dream. It was twisted now that he knew Naruse’s real identity, he supposed, to still feel that churning in the pit of his stomach when their gazes met… but he couldn’t stop it. It was sick, but he couldn’t stop now that he’d started… no matter what his rational side said.
To his pleasure, Naruse Ryou broke his cool exterior long enough to take a half step back and look genuinely surprised by the request. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again as though he couldn’t decide what to respond with. Small creases formed between his brows as he frowned. “…What?” He went with at length, perhaps thinking he’d heard wrong.
“Kiss me, Naruse-san…” The fact that they were in a quiet hall of the police station didn’t seem to matter at that point; he didn’t care if someone could potentially round the corner and see them. Most people had actually gone home already anyhow, so Naoto repeated his request, unable to keep himself from trembling under the lawyer’s stern and searching gaze.
He saw something flash in Naruse’s eyes at the name, as though he’d been expecting to be called Manaka Tomo or Amano Makoto instead, but Naoto couldn’t do that. To him those names held either remorse and pity or hate. It was the lawyer, Naruse Ryou, and only him that he would make this request to. Any other name would be wrong.
Naruse’s gaze hardened, he stepped close enough that there was only an inch or two between their bodies, and Naoto could feel the heat radiating through the lawyer’s clothes. “Do you think that will fix things?”
“…No.” He answered truthfully, not breaking eye contact for an instant.
And Naruse kissed him.
Naoto had half expected it to be violent, full of the desperate pain he felt and wanted Serizawa to share, but he was wrong. Naruse’s lips were cool and they pressed gently against his, brushing Naoto’s chapped ones and leaving feather-light kisses at each of the corners. His kisses were tentative, full of uncertainty and wavering emotion, like the fluttering of a frail bird’s wings. Naoto stayed perfectly still, like he’d been paralyzed. The lawyer’s fingertips pressed gingerly into his forearm and used more pressure when Naruse paused to exhale shakily. There was something so beautifully fragile and heartbreaking about the scene that Naoto felt his chest tighten painfully. His eyes burned, and he had to blink back tears as he swallowed the stinging lump in his throat.
Naruse noticed, settling back on his heels and staring distantly down through his lashes in the vague direction of the detective’s collarbones. “What else?” He said quietly, voice somewhat raw.
“What?” Naoto blinked again, swallowing thickly in an attempt to calm himself. The lawyer looked physically pained.
“What else do you want to take from me?” He elaborated. His fingernails bit lightly into the skin of the detective’s arm and he forced an expression of calm on face before continuing. “I don’t have much left.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“That was, actually, my first kiss.”
“I’m so sorry, Naruse-san…” Naoto’s voice cracked, tears welling in his vision as he sunk to his knees, forcing the lawyer to release him and leave crescent-shaped dents in his skin.
“When you took away my family and my future, I gave up on those kinds of firsts… but now you’ve taken that too.” He continued solemnly, quietly.
“Please,” Naoto begged, head bowed and fists clenching the pressed black fabric of the lawyer’s pants. “Please forgive me! I was young then, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. It was an accident, Naruse-san, I was just a kid!”
“So was I.” The lawyer murmured, and his words tore a soft sob from the detective’s throat. “I didn’t know what I was doing… but it’s too late now. I can’t stop this anymore…”
“Please…”
“I only wish you were more thorough, Serizawa.” His voice had risen, almost back to a normal level now. “Take everything.” He crouched, reaching out and closing the detective’s hand firmly around something cool and metal. “Leave me with nothing; nothing pure. I don’t want anything left to lose.”
Naoto lifted his head slowly, cheeks wet with tears, and he felt a stab of pain in his chest at the surprising vulnerability in the lawyer’s eyes, though Naruse’s expression was otherwise as cold and serious as ever. “Do you-… Do you really think that will fix things?” He asked shakily, repeating the question Naruse had asked him earlier.
Naruse Ryou paused, and then the faintest of smiles turned the corners of his lips. “…No.” He answered quietly, dropping his gaze and then standing slowly and gracefully. “… We’re a little too broken for repair, Serizawa.”
Naruse’s shoes tapped familiarly as they echoed down the hall, fading away into nothing, and Serizawa Naoto got to his feet on legs that seemed much weaker now than they had earlier. He stared at the silver house key in his palm as he leaned against the wall to catch his breath and control himself.
They were really hopeless. It was so unfair, and yet he also could see no end to it. It was almost like the cycle of hurt and revenge was out of both of their control. He hated it, but he too couldn’t stop what he’d started. Not anymore. His rational side told him to stay away. He was already so involved, he’d already done so much, and it would be bad to get himself in deeper.
But the lawyer’s address wasn’t hard to find, and Serizawa Naoto had never been a rational person.
- - -
Part two, a continuation...