Inner Truths Chapt. 2 - Knowing
I just posted the second chapter on ff.net, I wrote it on Friday on my way home. XD
Somehow I feel weird about this chapter, don't know why. My mother (she's my beta ^^) said it was good, but I somehow doubt it. Maybe because it is a second part and I feel it is no comparison to the first...
Weeeeird. <.<"
I hope you like it and have fun with it. ;)
Btw, I renamed the first chapter to "Hearing" and this chapter is called "Knowing".
*****
“That is the end of this discussion!”
Holmes takes his stick, hat and coat and thunders the stairs down.
Just a moment later I hear the door slamming and I sigh deeply, sitting down at my desk.
I will not go to Mycroft today. I already know why he is agitated and angry and this time he is entitled to be.
Last month I was shot during the hunt after a criminal, it was only a minor wound, but Holmes was awfully frightened. I understand that he does not wish for my companionship this time when I am still recovering.
I do not need hearing him telling Mycroft this.
Picking up a pen I suddenly remember the first time I went to Mycroft.
~~~~
It was a different kind of argument we had back then. We were both angry and thought we were correct. Hurtful words were spoken we both regretted.
It was one of our worst moments.
Just like today Holmes left in a fury and I myself would have left if he would not have been faster.
However it only took some minutes for my anger to dissipate and shame and regret took over. I overreacted and I should have never said those things to him. It was not right.
I struggled in my coat, took my walking stick and left in hope I would be able to find him. Holmes as a logician could make some very stupid mistakes when this agitated.
I do not remember why but I took a cab to the Diogenese club and asked for Mycroft. After Holmes’ return Mycroft was more open and friendly to me the few times we met, I do not know why but welcomed the change in comparison to his cold behaviour after Reichenbach.
I was still timid as I entered the visitor’s room, but his questioning face evolved into a smile seeing me and he waved me to a chair.
“My dear Doctor, this is a surprise. And Sherlock is not with you.”
“No, I am alone,” I said and something must have shown him my worries.
“What has Sherlock done this time?”
“Well, nothing really. At least he did it not alone.”
Mycroft’s gaze wandered over my face and he sighed.
“You had one of your discussions.”
I was surprised. “How do you know?”
A knock interrupted him and a butler looked into the room.
“Your brother is here, sir.”
I looked up and Mycroft made a fast decision.
“It may be better so. Hurry, Doctor! Behind the bookcase!”
Never have I seen him move so fast. He pulled me out of my chair and ushered me to a bookcase, where he touched a book and the bookcase opened.
Mycroft pushed me into the small room and closed it again before I was able to say anything.
There was a small slit around the door and a little bit of light came into the room. It was enough for me to see my own hands but no more.
Just a moment later I heard the door to the visitor’s room open and Holmes’ voice sounded.
“Mycroft!”
“I am here, brother, no need to shout,” Mycroft answered and I finally realized that Mycroft did not want Holmes to know that I was there.
And that I should hear their conversation. I slowed my breath and tried to hear what was happening outside.
I could hear Holmes pacing and his angry breathing.
“He just does not understand! That bloody idiot! It is too dangerous and he wants to jump right into it!”
I recognized these words, because Holmes said them to me just earlier and a slight pang went through my chest.
“What are you talking about, Sherlock?”
“Watson! He can not see that it is too dangerous for him to continue his work in Whitechapel after the threats from Dowels. He treated Dowels’ wife who was beaten by her husband and he found out that Watson helped her. Dowels said if Watson ever returns he will kill him. And Watson wants to go back!”
“It is his duty,” Mycroft said, but Holmes just snorted and Mycroft sighed.
“Sherlock, he is a doctor. It is his foremost duty to help people who are in need of his help. And he loves his profession, so he will follow his duty even if it endangers his life! Just like you. You will not stop hunting your criminals, too and that is dangerous as well.”
For a while Holmes continued to breathe heavily, before he sighed and dropped into a chair.
“Just last month there were three murders in Whitechapel. They were gruesome and they were near the hospital where Watson works. I tried to find something, but there is nothing. No clue, no tie, just nothing. I do not wish to tell him, he would only…”
“Think that you are too worried? That you exaggerate watching Whitechapel to make sure that there is no danger for him?” Mycroft finished slowly and my breath hitched.
He was watching the happenings in Whitechapel this whole time and that just because of me? He tried catching the criminals in hope of securing my being there?
So the reason he did not want me to go there was not because he did not think me able to protect myself, but just because he was afraid for me?
I always saw Holmes as a logician and even so I held a special place in his heart, I never thought it possible that it went this far.
That he really was afraid of losing me.
I felt tears collecting in my eyes and brushed them away. I was so wrong and the whole argument this night was my fault alone.
How could I ever doubt him?
The brothers had continued their conversation in friendlier tones, but I no longer listened. I wanted to go out there and ask Holmes for forgiveness, but I did not wish for Mycroft to get into trouble with his brother.
Some moments later Holmes left and the bookcase opened again.
Mycroft had a tender look in his eyes and he led me back to my chair.
“Almost always Sherlock comes here after your little discussions and rants around. I calm him down and send him back to you. Do not worry yourself, it is difficult to life with him together. I should know that.
Sometimes it may be too hard, but please do not give up. He really needs you, you know? I could think of no better man to be his companion, partner and his friend than you.”
He sat down opposite me and favoured me with a smile.
“If you ever need to hear it from himself, just come to me. He may be too stubborn to admit it to your person, but he can hide nothing from me. I am his older brother after all.”
~~~
I do not often go to Mycroft, but sometimes I follow his invitation and listen to Holmes talking about me.
I do not like deceiving him like this, but as Mycroft said sometimes I just need to hear him say these things. It really helps to bear the burden of being his partner and friend.
Suddenly I hear the door downstairs and slow steps approach the door. It opens and Holmes comes into the room looking tired and worn out.
“Why are we both always so stubborn?” Holmes asks and I shrug my shoulders.
“Because we are both mules?”
A slow smile grazes his lips and I feel an answering smile on my own. We accept and forgive each other like always.
“There is a new opera I wish to see and after that we have a criminal to catch. If you still wish to accompany me?” Holmes says and I rise.
“It would be my pleasure.”
He steps to my side and takes my arm without mentioning my wincing when I stood.
Together we leave and I am glad being able to hear his inner thoughts spoken out sometimes.
But I am happier knowing his true feelings on my own.
********
Another note, I just learned yesterday how I can "cut out" a person from a picture with Gimp. I know, the feature is old, but I just found it yesterday. XD
So now I can try making SH pics as well. :D
Does anyone know a page where I can find screenshots from all the serieses/whatever? I got no time to watch the episodes again and making my own. ;_;
Somehow I feel weird about this chapter, don't know why. My mother (she's my beta ^^) said it was good, but I somehow doubt it. Maybe because it is a second part and I feel it is no comparison to the first...
Weeeeird. <.<"
I hope you like it and have fun with it. ;)
Btw, I renamed the first chapter to "Hearing" and this chapter is called "Knowing".
*****
“That is the end of this discussion!”
Holmes takes his stick, hat and coat and thunders the stairs down.
Just a moment later I hear the door slamming and I sigh deeply, sitting down at my desk.
I will not go to Mycroft today. I already know why he is agitated and angry and this time he is entitled to be.
Last month I was shot during the hunt after a criminal, it was only a minor wound, but Holmes was awfully frightened. I understand that he does not wish for my companionship this time when I am still recovering.
I do not need hearing him telling Mycroft this.
Picking up a pen I suddenly remember the first time I went to Mycroft.
~~~~
It was a different kind of argument we had back then. We were both angry and thought we were correct. Hurtful words were spoken we both regretted.
It was one of our worst moments.
Just like today Holmes left in a fury and I myself would have left if he would not have been faster.
However it only took some minutes for my anger to dissipate and shame and regret took over. I overreacted and I should have never said those things to him. It was not right.
I struggled in my coat, took my walking stick and left in hope I would be able to find him. Holmes as a logician could make some very stupid mistakes when this agitated.
I do not remember why but I took a cab to the Diogenese club and asked for Mycroft. After Holmes’ return Mycroft was more open and friendly to me the few times we met, I do not know why but welcomed the change in comparison to his cold behaviour after Reichenbach.
I was still timid as I entered the visitor’s room, but his questioning face evolved into a smile seeing me and he waved me to a chair.
“My dear Doctor, this is a surprise. And Sherlock is not with you.”
“No, I am alone,” I said and something must have shown him my worries.
“What has Sherlock done this time?”
“Well, nothing really. At least he did it not alone.”
Mycroft’s gaze wandered over my face and he sighed.
“You had one of your discussions.”
I was surprised. “How do you know?”
A knock interrupted him and a butler looked into the room.
“Your brother is here, sir.”
I looked up and Mycroft made a fast decision.
“It may be better so. Hurry, Doctor! Behind the bookcase!”
Never have I seen him move so fast. He pulled me out of my chair and ushered me to a bookcase, where he touched a book and the bookcase opened.
Mycroft pushed me into the small room and closed it again before I was able to say anything.
There was a small slit around the door and a little bit of light came into the room. It was enough for me to see my own hands but no more.
Just a moment later I heard the door to the visitor’s room open and Holmes’ voice sounded.
“Mycroft!”
“I am here, brother, no need to shout,” Mycroft answered and I finally realized that Mycroft did not want Holmes to know that I was there.
And that I should hear their conversation. I slowed my breath and tried to hear what was happening outside.
I could hear Holmes pacing and his angry breathing.
“He just does not understand! That bloody idiot! It is too dangerous and he wants to jump right into it!”
I recognized these words, because Holmes said them to me just earlier and a slight pang went through my chest.
“What are you talking about, Sherlock?”
“Watson! He can not see that it is too dangerous for him to continue his work in Whitechapel after the threats from Dowels. He treated Dowels’ wife who was beaten by her husband and he found out that Watson helped her. Dowels said if Watson ever returns he will kill him. And Watson wants to go back!”
“It is his duty,” Mycroft said, but Holmes just snorted and Mycroft sighed.
“Sherlock, he is a doctor. It is his foremost duty to help people who are in need of his help. And he loves his profession, so he will follow his duty even if it endangers his life! Just like you. You will not stop hunting your criminals, too and that is dangerous as well.”
For a while Holmes continued to breathe heavily, before he sighed and dropped into a chair.
“Just last month there were three murders in Whitechapel. They were gruesome and they were near the hospital where Watson works. I tried to find something, but there is nothing. No clue, no tie, just nothing. I do not wish to tell him, he would only…”
“Think that you are too worried? That you exaggerate watching Whitechapel to make sure that there is no danger for him?” Mycroft finished slowly and my breath hitched.
He was watching the happenings in Whitechapel this whole time and that just because of me? He tried catching the criminals in hope of securing my being there?
So the reason he did not want me to go there was not because he did not think me able to protect myself, but just because he was afraid for me?
I always saw Holmes as a logician and even so I held a special place in his heart, I never thought it possible that it went this far.
That he really was afraid of losing me.
I felt tears collecting in my eyes and brushed them away. I was so wrong and the whole argument this night was my fault alone.
How could I ever doubt him?
The brothers had continued their conversation in friendlier tones, but I no longer listened. I wanted to go out there and ask Holmes for forgiveness, but I did not wish for Mycroft to get into trouble with his brother.
Some moments later Holmes left and the bookcase opened again.
Mycroft had a tender look in his eyes and he led me back to my chair.
“Almost always Sherlock comes here after your little discussions and rants around. I calm him down and send him back to you. Do not worry yourself, it is difficult to life with him together. I should know that.
Sometimes it may be too hard, but please do not give up. He really needs you, you know? I could think of no better man to be his companion, partner and his friend than you.”
He sat down opposite me and favoured me with a smile.
“If you ever need to hear it from himself, just come to me. He may be too stubborn to admit it to your person, but he can hide nothing from me. I am his older brother after all.”
~~~
I do not often go to Mycroft, but sometimes I follow his invitation and listen to Holmes talking about me.
I do not like deceiving him like this, but as Mycroft said sometimes I just need to hear him say these things. It really helps to bear the burden of being his partner and friend.
Suddenly I hear the door downstairs and slow steps approach the door. It opens and Holmes comes into the room looking tired and worn out.
“Why are we both always so stubborn?” Holmes asks and I shrug my shoulders.
“Because we are both mules?”
A slow smile grazes his lips and I feel an answering smile on my own. We accept and forgive each other like always.
“There is a new opera I wish to see and after that we have a criminal to catch. If you still wish to accompany me?” Holmes says and I rise.
“It would be my pleasure.”
He steps to my side and takes my arm without mentioning my wincing when I stood.
Together we leave and I am glad being able to hear his inner thoughts spoken out sometimes.
But I am happier knowing his true feelings on my own.
********
Another note, I just learned yesterday how I can "cut out" a person from a picture with Gimp. I know, the feature is old, but I just found it yesterday. XD
So now I can try making SH pics as well. :D
Does anyone know a page where I can find screenshots from all the serieses/whatever? I got no time to watch the episodes again and making my own. ;_;