Teaser Tuesday and Substrate Update

[alanajoli]

I haven't done a teaser in awhile, so I thought I'd do a short post today (because we had Substrate this weekend, and it was awesome!) and then post an excerpt from the story I've had accepted over at Baeg Tobar. (I have another one on review with the editor, but haven't gotten edits back yet

Comments

[asakiyume]

That's awesome about your crit group--I know exactly what you mean about point 5--it makes such a difference to be able to see that.

And I liked your snippet a lot. I was intrigued by the detail about hiding your colors, and I like beads in hair :-)

[alanajoli]

When editor Scott first sent me the details about the city/nation where the story was to be set, the beads were the first thing that caught my imagination (alongside the idea that, because the people had been conquered, hardly anyone wore them any more). I think working that in--and using it to signify more than just the beads--was one of my favorite details of the story. I'm glad you liked it too!

[notadoor]

Agree with you about 3) -- I think I also need to reread my critiques the day before and make sure all of my important in-text comments also get written down in my cheat sheet at the end so I don't have to page through looking for bits of my critique.

I love the excerpt! For some reason it reminds me of Firefly -- the tone, maybe. But I reread the sentence that starts "Dilys almost resigned herself into a pout..." a few times and still couldn't understand it -- are you possibly missing a word in there somewhere?

[alanajoli]

Oh, man, I am so glad you caught that--the right sentence structure was eaten by Word's editorial tracker about three edits ago (one of those places where if you reject or accept the change, it gets funky if you're not careful). E-mailing my editor about it right now. :)

Addendum: Firefly seems to work itself into a lot of my writing, completely unintentionally, probably because I love the use of language in that show so much. I didn't notice it in this particular piece, but it doesn't surprise me at all that it's there. :)

[notadoor]

Oh no! Silly Word. But I'm glad I decided to say something instead of assuming my brain had stopped working.

Firefly is brilliant. Joss has a new show premiering this week called Dollhouse -- I don't know if you heard about it.

[alanajoli]

Right after Sarah Connor Chronicles! A Whedon alumn and a new Whedon show (also featuring a Whedon alumn)... how does TV get better than that? :)