Apotheosis: Chapter 12 - Affirmation
"I want you to be the 3rd Division's lieutenant," Kira repeated in a patient tone. He'd been released from the infirmary the day before, and Ichigo had just relinquished command of the 3rd Division back to him.
"I'm not really qualified," Ichigo pointed out. "I'm not even a real shinigami, just a 'substitute'."
Kira waved away his objections. "Don't be ridiculous, you're as much of a shinigami as the rest of us. You've done the captain's job for weeks now, and look at the improvements you made. If you can lead a Division that well, you're certainly qualified to be lieutenant. And you know better than anyone else how tough it is for a Division to run smoothly without two senior officers."
"Yeah but… can you do that? I mean, just make me a lieutenant?" Ichigo asked.
"Yamamoto-sou-taichou made you an acting captain," Kira said. "So there's no reason I can't make you an acting lieutenant." He paused uncertainly. "Unless, you don't want to."
"No, I don't mind," Ichigo hastened to assure the insecure shinigami. "I mean, I'd like to. Since we've got this handy loophole." He grinned. "I don't hafta wear another sash, I hope."
*
Over the next few weeks, Ichigo spent a great deal of time learning about the Soul Society and the role of the Gotei 13. Until now, he'd been just picking it up as he went along; he'd learned a lot during the war, and he'd talked with Renji a great deal about how things worked. He had the basics covered, but when it came to the details that other shinigami learned at the Academy, Ichigo still had a lot to learn.
As acting captain without a lieutenant, Ichigo had just done his best to keep the Division together, and keep working toward improving the Division in general. Now, acting as lieutenant with a captain in charge - acting or otherwise - Ichigo had the chance to learn about the specifics of the roles in a properly structured Division.
A great deal of information was filtered through a Division's lieutenant before it reached the captain, and the lieutenant had a number of heavy responsibilities, including hearing grievances and issuing reprimands. Ichigo also learned more about the paperwork that Renji loathed so completely, and quickly decided Renji's assessment was spot on - paperwork sucked.
*
The first lieutenants' meeting after Ichigo accepted the position was thankfully less eventful than his first captains' meeting had been. Rukia accompanied him, and gave him a quick explanation of what to expect.
When they arrived, Ichigo was welcomed warmly by Iba and Matsumoto; he'd gotten to know these 'friends-of-his-friends' and he thought he would enjoy working with them. Kotetsu Isane, 4th Division lieutenant, gave him a wave but did not leave her place by her sister's side.
Kotetsu Kiyone had officially become lieutenant of the 13th Division early in the war against Aizen. Her comrade and co-seat Kotsubaki Sentarou had been killed in a brutal surprise attack, along with two entire squads of the 13th Division, leaving Kiyone to shoulder the responsibility alone for the first time. She'd done a good job, and her promotion was well-deserved, but - like so many other veterans of the war - sometimes the light went out of her eyes; for Kiyone, it was when she tied on her badge. Only time and patience would salve that wound, Ichigo knew.
Ichigo found the relative informality of the lieutenants' meeting an interesting counterpoint to the captains' meetings he'd attended. There seemed to be fewer personality clashes, and more commiserating over difficulties.
The meeting ran smoothly. Each lieutenant reported on their Division; Ichigo felt a swell of pride when it was his turn to speak and the other shinigami nodded approvingly at the results of the training programs he'd implemented, and the overall improvement to the Division. By the end of the meeting, he'd readily agreed to work with some of the others to help make similar changes in their Divisions. Inwardly, he was once again baffled by the limited vision of the Gotei 13 - the 5th and 6th Divisions had been employing similar training strategies for years, with some success. Once again, his unique status lent weight to his arguments and ideas.
Ichigo was grateful that his shift was over when he finally managed to escape from Yachiru's enthusiastic company, long after the meeting had ended for the others; it had been a long day, and he was tired. Before going home, he remembered he needed to stop by the 4th and inform Unohana-taichou that he would be sparring with Kenpachi the next morning.
As he headed that way, an alert began to sound; he knew the 5th was on duty today, and he wondered absently how long Renji would be out. He was lost in thought, already planning how to integrate his training programs with the other Divisions.
A runner from the 5th passed him as he entered the 4th Division headquarters. Ichigo frowned. The alert should have been enough notice; Divisions only sent runners when they were expecting heavier casualties than usual…
"Kurosaki-fukutaichou-dairi," Unohana's greeting was as calm and cool as ever, but that didn't really mean anything - Ichigo was almost certain the woman would maintain her serenity if she had to face down an entire army of Hollows alone.
"Unohana-taichou." He nodded politely; like nearly everyone else, he felt it prudent to remember his manners with the 4th Division captain. "I came to tell you I'll be sparring with Ke-uh, Zaraki-taichou tomorrow morning."
Unohana gave him a small smile. "We will be ready for you."
"Thank you." Ichigo stood, wondering how to ask what the messenger from the 5th had reported without breaking any obscure, unspoken rules. "If I may ask," he began, "that messenger…?"
"Isane has just left with two squads to join the 5th," Unohana informed him. "They've been sent out to the 62nd district." The gentle smile faded. "I think it's going to be very unpleasant."
"Thank you, Unohana-taichou." Ichigo left the captain to her preparations and headed home.
Guess that's why we all gotta stay strong. He walked slowly, mulling things over.
It was hard work - being a full-time shinigami was physically demanding, dirty, and often painful. The paperwork involved in running a Division was mind-numbingly tedious, and the emotional burden of the battles they fought regularly was heavy. And yet, despite all of that, right now there was nothing else Ichigo would rather be doing.
I knew I could make a difference. It's a relief to be doin' what I know is right, and see how much good it's doing.
He shook his head, amazed that something so difficult could be so rewarding.
*
Ichigo was roused from his nap on the couch when he felt agitated reiatsu prickling against his before Renji even opened the door. And if that wasn't enough, when Renji entered their quarters, one look at his face was more than enough to confirm the prediction Unohana had made to Ichigo at the 4th. He sat up and waited for Renji's reaction.
Renji toed off his sandals and threw his cloak on the back of a chair as usual, but his eyes were flat. Without a word, he pulled the tie from his hair, then went straight to the couch where he pushed himself into Ichigo's arms.
Renji buried his face in Ichigo's chest, knuckles gone white as he twisted Ichigo's robes. Ichigo could feel him struggling to maintain control, and extended his own energy a little more to bolster his lover until he could pull himself together.
"Again," Renji whispered hoarsely. "Why's it always kids?" He was trembling all over, but the strain in his voice reflected as much anger and frustration as pain.
"I don't know," Ichigo murmured. He stroked the brilliant red head tucked under his chin, and didn't offer any platitudes or reassurance. This was just the way things were, and no words could ever explain why innocents had to suffer. They both knew and accepted that, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with.
"There were…" Ichigo felt Renji collect himself. "There were a lot a' really small kids in the family."
"Oh hell." Ichigo let out a long breath, and folded Renji in tighter. "How many made it?"
Renji relaxed a little. "'Bout half. We were already close when they appeared. We were on our way out when we felt the rift open. Got there before anyone even had time t' sound the alert."
"Half! More'n I expected. Damn, they were lucky you were nearby."
Renji snorted. "Real lucky."
Wrong thing to say, I guess. Ichigo tried again. "All we can do is our best, right?" The shinigami shrugged.
"That's what you taught me," Ichigo refused to rise to the bait. Instead he continued running his hand over the long hair spilling over them, extending the strokes to include the still-tense shoulders and arms.
Renji finally sighed. "Yeah, I know. We did what we could." There was no guilt or pride in his voice; there was no room for either in this situation.
After a few minutes, Renji had responded to the gentle comfort and was lying more comfortably against Ichigo's chest. His hands had given up their grip on Ichigo's robes, resting instead on his lap, and his reiatsu was calmer.
"Hey." Ichigo shook him a little. "You feel like eating? There's food." The answer was a groan. He chuckled softly. "Heh ok, no food. Let's just go to bed then, before we fall asleep like this."
As they settled themselves under the blankets, Renji turned and kissed him hard. When he pulled back, he snaked his arm around Ichigo's waist and pulled himself closer. Ichigo obliged the unspoken request, curling himself tightly around his lover's body and pressing his cheek to the bowed head sharing his pillow. He wrapped his reiatsu up tightly with Renji's and focused on soothing his lover with the warmth and affection in their bond.
All he could do now was wait for the inevitable…
*
"No… dun y' ken? Git out…"
Ichigo's eyes snapped open as Renji's distressed reiatsu flooded the room. He'd been expecting this and had tried to stay awake, but he'd fallen asleep.
"...git yerself gone… 's too bad…"
Ichigo disentangled himself from his lover's arms and pushed him gently. "Renji… Renji wake up."
"No, dammit not again!" The shinigami started to thrash in his sleep.
Ichigo sat up and grasped Renji's shoulders firmly, giving him a rough shake. He winced as a loose hand connected with the side of his head. "Renji! Wake up!!"
The struggling stopped as Renji woke. Dark eyes blinked up at Ichigo, gradually finding focus on his face. Awareness registered in Renji's expression as he sat up beside him. "Thanks fer wakin' me. Dun like t' relive tha'." He ran a shaking hand through his hair and leaned gratefully into Ichigo's embrace as the tears started to fall.
"Yeah… I ken." Ichigo took a stab at the dialect. He felt Renji smile at the gentle teasing even as he shook against his shoulder; Renji sometimes had trouble shaking off his childhood speech patterns after a Rukongai nightmare.
Ichigo held his lover close as he wept his grief and frustration. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last. Horrific memories and bad dreams came with the shinigami uniform. They'd both suffered terrible nightmares after their experiences during the war. Renji had been the one to realize that Ichigo didn't have the training to deal with it properly; he'd comforted and supported Ichigo when his grief spiralled out of control, and taught him how to manage and share the pain.
When Renji raised his head, he wore a small smile. He swiped at his cheeks with the back of his hand, brushing away the last of the tears he'd shed unashamedly.
"Your eyes are all red," Ichigo commented. "Well, redder than usual."
Renji chuckled weakly. "I know… I look like a tomato, right?"
Ichigo laughed softly at the old joke. "Nah, you're all pale now. More like a winter melon in a wig." He got up long enough to fetch a glass of water for the exhausted shinigami, then took Renji back into his arms as they settled down together again.
Renji's lips on his were soft and undemanding, and Ichigo responded in kind. When they pulled apart, Ichigo was not at all surprised when his lover lowered his head and sighed into his neck instead of moving to more intimate activity. His energy was already hovering on the brink of sleep, though he fought against it.
"'M tired," Renji mumbled, his eyelids sliding closed in spite of his obvious efforts to keep them open.
"So sleep."
"Sure?"
"Yup." Ichigo couldn't help the grin spreading across his face at his lover's rather endearing sleep-induced confusion.
"'Kay then. Night Ichi." Renji was asleep in seconds.
*
Ichigo woke early the next morning, despite the interruption in the night. He curled himself around his lover's form, smiling when Renji settled closer in his sleep. He felt Renji's reiatsu, and was not surprised to find it calm and relaxed. Rough night for him, but it looks like he's ok. Been through this before, and we will again - handling things this way really works.
Ichigo turned his thoughts over in his mind a few times. We're gonna be facin' this sorta thing for a long, long time - well, forever, really. Wonder how it'll feel - doesn’t look like you ever get used to it. But if you have somethin' solid you can trust… like our connection. We're in this together, forever - that's what keeps us goin' even when we're strugglin' with everythin' else.
Ichigo wanted to do something, make some gesture… He wasn't sure why - they'd never needed outward symbols or demonstrations, and they still didn't. All the same, he wanted to do… something.
He remembered the way his heart had started racing inexplicably when they'd leaned on each other at his birthday celebration… he remembered Renji's surprised smile when they declared their feelings so openly.
I still don't like being too… close… in public, but that's 'cause it's private and I don't want to share it with anyone but Renji. But there's somethin' about puttin' my mark on him and havin' his mark on me for everyone to know we belong to each other… I can't deny how it makes me feel. Ichigo stopped and grabbed at the thought before he lost it. He pulled out Yumichika's map that, true to his word, Ichigo never removed from his pocket. Pinned to the back was the card Shuuhei had given him on his birthday.
His mark… Ichigo smiled as he closed his eyes.
:Hello, Ichigo.:
"Hey, Zangetsu." Ichigo looked around the odd building-scape. "Things here the same as always, huh?"
:You've been getting stronger. We are fighting well together.: Zangetsu's approval was clear in his voice.
"Yeah, we're gettin' a lot of practice, that's for sure."
:It is a difficult time. But you're meeting the challenge well.:
"We're doin' our best."
:That's all you can ask for.:
Ichigo smiled. "Listen, the reason I'm here… I want your opinion, and your help."
:Ah, yes.:
"Right, you already know everything I wanna say. Yanno that really cuts down on the conversation potential."
Zangetsu's chuckle echoed eerily. :It saves time.:
"I wanna do this, for both of us. Well all of us, really." Ichigo wanted to explain even though he knew he didn't have to. "It's a part of him, and he's a part of me, so I wanna show that."
:An appropriate sentiment towards one's partner.:
"Yeah, I guess." Ichigo wasn’t used to hearing anyone else describe the… well it was a partnership he had with Renji. More than just sex, more than just love, it was a bond forged with mutual respect and admiration and loyalty as well as all the rest.
"It's not just me n' Renji involved here, though. It might've taken me a bit longer to figure it out," Ichigo grinned, "but even I figured out that I've got another partner with me all the time. And since that's the case, it's only right I ask Zabimaru, too, as Renji's fighting partner."
:You want me to ask the next time we speak.:
"Yeah if you would, please. I'd do it myself but, eh… I dunno, is that even possible?" Ichigo asked curiously.
Zangetsu stared off to the side, watching as a patch of light grew and began to shimmer. :It is indeed possible, and you are about to get your chance.:
"Er…" Ichigo peered apprehensively at the shape taking form in the swirling fog.
::Good morning Zangetsu.:: The new voice had an odd stereo quality. ::Well this's different… ya shoulda just told me you were busy.::
"Zabimaru…" Ichigo had seen the creature before, of course, but he hadn't been prepared to meet him again just now, especially not right here.
::Hey, Ichigo. Nice place ya got here.::
"Uh, thanks." He watched, fascinated, as the two heads looked in different directions - one at Zangetsu, and one at himself.
::So I'll just let you two finish whatever you're doin'…::
"Could you wait, please?" Ichigo asked quickly. "I, um... I wanna ask you somethin'."
::Huh, that's different, too. Whassup?::
Ichigo wasn't sure which head he should address, so he settled for alternating his gaze between the two. "Yanno what happened last night," he began, "and how hard it is sometimes to deal with the stuff we gotta deal with. I wanna do somethin' to… to reinforce that some things really are forever."
::With you so far.::
"I was thinkin', since we're all sort of linked together, it'd be nice to have somethin' that'd reflect that." Ichigo pointed a bit self-consciously. "Like those."
::You wanna get a tattoo?:: The odd voices sounded curious.
"I know it means somethin'. I don't wanna just… intrude," Ichigo said earnestly.
::If you're askin' permission, then you're not intrudin'.:: The heads switched; the snaky tail was now staring at Ichigo while the other looked at the tall figure in the flowing cloak. ::Zangetsu?::
:They do seem to be rather attached to each other.:
::Rather.:: There was a breathy chuckle. ::That's a powerful gesture, Ichigo. You sure 'bout this?::
"Absolutely," Ichigo answered immediately.
::Good.::
"I was thinking," he began, "something like that, only that part over there with that part there, and…" Ichigo wondered how to describe the hazy image he had in his mind.
The creature extended a white limb, and before Ichigo's eyes an intricate design appeared. ::Somethin' like this?::
"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "It's perfect. How'd you do that?"
:You really have to ask?:
"Guess not." Ichigo smiled. "Thanks."
*
Omake
~Ch 12~
Akuni: See, look! All you people who think I'm a Kira hater - I didn't kill him, or even harm him very badly.
Renji: Kira, ya all better now?
Kira: Yes, Abarai-kun. Unohana-taichou took good care of me.
Ichigo: Glad to hear it, 'cause we got a lotta stuff to talk about.
Renji: Hang on just a minute, Ichigo, I got somethin' t' ask Kira first before ya start talkin' 'bout work. *glances sideways at Akuni* Kira, are ya really ok? That thing hit ya pretty hard.
Kira: Did it? I suppose it must have. I… I don't really remember.
Renji: Ya don't remember?
Ichigo: How can you not remember that fight?
Kira: I just don't! *flushes*
Ichigo: You forgot bein' slammed to the ground by a giant tentacle and havin' all your energy suck- *coughs loudly* Well I guess that'd be a pretty traumatic thing, right Renji?
Renji: Uh, right!
Ichigo: And there was probably some head injury, right? *looks at Akuni*
Akuni: Oh… *eyes wide* Oh yes, definitely. Head injury. Hit the ground very hard. Broken ribs, cracked skull, that sort of thing.
Kira: Right. So I'll be going now… Ichigo, I'll be in my office when you need to discuss work. *leaves quickly*
Ichigo/Renji/Akuni: …
Renji: Did it… did it get away from ya, maybe?
Akuni: No, I swear I didn't do anything!
Ichigo: Then what's he all worked up about?
Akuni: I have no idea.
Ichigo/Renji: You're the author, who else should know?!
Continue to Chapter 13 - Fortification
Return to the Apotheosis main page
"I'm not really qualified," Ichigo pointed out. "I'm not even a real shinigami, just a 'substitute'."
Kira waved away his objections. "Don't be ridiculous, you're as much of a shinigami as the rest of us. You've done the captain's job for weeks now, and look at the improvements you made. If you can lead a Division that well, you're certainly qualified to be lieutenant. And you know better than anyone else how tough it is for a Division to run smoothly without two senior officers."
"Yeah but… can you do that? I mean, just make me a lieutenant?" Ichigo asked.
"Yamamoto-sou-taichou made you an acting captain," Kira said. "So there's no reason I can't make you an acting lieutenant." He paused uncertainly. "Unless, you don't want to."
"No, I don't mind," Ichigo hastened to assure the insecure shinigami. "I mean, I'd like to. Since we've got this handy loophole." He grinned. "I don't hafta wear another sash, I hope."
*
Over the next few weeks, Ichigo spent a great deal of time learning about the Soul Society and the role of the Gotei 13. Until now, he'd been just picking it up as he went along; he'd learned a lot during the war, and he'd talked with Renji a great deal about how things worked. He had the basics covered, but when it came to the details that other shinigami learned at the Academy, Ichigo still had a lot to learn.
As acting captain without a lieutenant, Ichigo had just done his best to keep the Division together, and keep working toward improving the Division in general. Now, acting as lieutenant with a captain in charge - acting or otherwise - Ichigo had the chance to learn about the specifics of the roles in a properly structured Division.
A great deal of information was filtered through a Division's lieutenant before it reached the captain, and the lieutenant had a number of heavy responsibilities, including hearing grievances and issuing reprimands. Ichigo also learned more about the paperwork that Renji loathed so completely, and quickly decided Renji's assessment was spot on - paperwork sucked.
*
The first lieutenants' meeting after Ichigo accepted the position was thankfully less eventful than his first captains' meeting had been. Rukia accompanied him, and gave him a quick explanation of what to expect.
When they arrived, Ichigo was welcomed warmly by Iba and Matsumoto; he'd gotten to know these 'friends-of-his-friends' and he thought he would enjoy working with them. Kotetsu Isane, 4th Division lieutenant, gave him a wave but did not leave her place by her sister's side.
Kotetsu Kiyone had officially become lieutenant of the 13th Division early in the war against Aizen. Her comrade and co-seat Kotsubaki Sentarou had been killed in a brutal surprise attack, along with two entire squads of the 13th Division, leaving Kiyone to shoulder the responsibility alone for the first time. She'd done a good job, and her promotion was well-deserved, but - like so many other veterans of the war - sometimes the light went out of her eyes; for Kiyone, it was when she tied on her badge. Only time and patience would salve that wound, Ichigo knew.
Ichigo found the relative informality of the lieutenants' meeting an interesting counterpoint to the captains' meetings he'd attended. There seemed to be fewer personality clashes, and more commiserating over difficulties.
The meeting ran smoothly. Each lieutenant reported on their Division; Ichigo felt a swell of pride when it was his turn to speak and the other shinigami nodded approvingly at the results of the training programs he'd implemented, and the overall improvement to the Division. By the end of the meeting, he'd readily agreed to work with some of the others to help make similar changes in their Divisions. Inwardly, he was once again baffled by the limited vision of the Gotei 13 - the 5th and 6th Divisions had been employing similar training strategies for years, with some success. Once again, his unique status lent weight to his arguments and ideas.
Ichigo was grateful that his shift was over when he finally managed to escape from Yachiru's enthusiastic company, long after the meeting had ended for the others; it had been a long day, and he was tired. Before going home, he remembered he needed to stop by the 4th and inform Unohana-taichou that he would be sparring with Kenpachi the next morning.
As he headed that way, an alert began to sound; he knew the 5th was on duty today, and he wondered absently how long Renji would be out. He was lost in thought, already planning how to integrate his training programs with the other Divisions.
A runner from the 5th passed him as he entered the 4th Division headquarters. Ichigo frowned. The alert should have been enough notice; Divisions only sent runners when they were expecting heavier casualties than usual…
"Kurosaki-fukutaichou-dairi," Unohana's greeting was as calm and cool as ever, but that didn't really mean anything - Ichigo was almost certain the woman would maintain her serenity if she had to face down an entire army of Hollows alone.
"Unohana-taichou." He nodded politely; like nearly everyone else, he felt it prudent to remember his manners with the 4th Division captain. "I came to tell you I'll be sparring with Ke-uh, Zaraki-taichou tomorrow morning."
Unohana gave him a small smile. "We will be ready for you."
"Thank you." Ichigo stood, wondering how to ask what the messenger from the 5th had reported without breaking any obscure, unspoken rules. "If I may ask," he began, "that messenger…?"
"Isane has just left with two squads to join the 5th," Unohana informed him. "They've been sent out to the 62nd district." The gentle smile faded. "I think it's going to be very unpleasant."
"Thank you, Unohana-taichou." Ichigo left the captain to her preparations and headed home.
Guess that's why we all gotta stay strong. He walked slowly, mulling things over.
It was hard work - being a full-time shinigami was physically demanding, dirty, and often painful. The paperwork involved in running a Division was mind-numbingly tedious, and the emotional burden of the battles they fought regularly was heavy. And yet, despite all of that, right now there was nothing else Ichigo would rather be doing.
I knew I could make a difference. It's a relief to be doin' what I know is right, and see how much good it's doing.
He shook his head, amazed that something so difficult could be so rewarding.
*
Ichigo was roused from his nap on the couch when he felt agitated reiatsu prickling against his before Renji even opened the door. And if that wasn't enough, when Renji entered their quarters, one look at his face was more than enough to confirm the prediction Unohana had made to Ichigo at the 4th. He sat up and waited for Renji's reaction.
Renji toed off his sandals and threw his cloak on the back of a chair as usual, but his eyes were flat. Without a word, he pulled the tie from his hair, then went straight to the couch where he pushed himself into Ichigo's arms.
Renji buried his face in Ichigo's chest, knuckles gone white as he twisted Ichigo's robes. Ichigo could feel him struggling to maintain control, and extended his own energy a little more to bolster his lover until he could pull himself together.
"Again," Renji whispered hoarsely. "Why's it always kids?" He was trembling all over, but the strain in his voice reflected as much anger and frustration as pain.
"I don't know," Ichigo murmured. He stroked the brilliant red head tucked under his chin, and didn't offer any platitudes or reassurance. This was just the way things were, and no words could ever explain why innocents had to suffer. They both knew and accepted that, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with.
"There were…" Ichigo felt Renji collect himself. "There were a lot a' really small kids in the family."
"Oh hell." Ichigo let out a long breath, and folded Renji in tighter. "How many made it?"
Renji relaxed a little. "'Bout half. We were already close when they appeared. We were on our way out when we felt the rift open. Got there before anyone even had time t' sound the alert."
"Half! More'n I expected. Damn, they were lucky you were nearby."
Renji snorted. "Real lucky."
Wrong thing to say, I guess. Ichigo tried again. "All we can do is our best, right?" The shinigami shrugged.
"That's what you taught me," Ichigo refused to rise to the bait. Instead he continued running his hand over the long hair spilling over them, extending the strokes to include the still-tense shoulders and arms.
Renji finally sighed. "Yeah, I know. We did what we could." There was no guilt or pride in his voice; there was no room for either in this situation.
After a few minutes, Renji had responded to the gentle comfort and was lying more comfortably against Ichigo's chest. His hands had given up their grip on Ichigo's robes, resting instead on his lap, and his reiatsu was calmer.
"Hey." Ichigo shook him a little. "You feel like eating? There's food." The answer was a groan. He chuckled softly. "Heh ok, no food. Let's just go to bed then, before we fall asleep like this."
As they settled themselves under the blankets, Renji turned and kissed him hard. When he pulled back, he snaked his arm around Ichigo's waist and pulled himself closer. Ichigo obliged the unspoken request, curling himself tightly around his lover's body and pressing his cheek to the bowed head sharing his pillow. He wrapped his reiatsu up tightly with Renji's and focused on soothing his lover with the warmth and affection in their bond.
All he could do now was wait for the inevitable…
*
"No… dun y' ken? Git out…"
Ichigo's eyes snapped open as Renji's distressed reiatsu flooded the room. He'd been expecting this and had tried to stay awake, but he'd fallen asleep.
"...git yerself gone… 's too bad…"
Ichigo disentangled himself from his lover's arms and pushed him gently. "Renji… Renji wake up."
"No, dammit not again!" The shinigami started to thrash in his sleep.
Ichigo sat up and grasped Renji's shoulders firmly, giving him a rough shake. He winced as a loose hand connected with the side of his head. "Renji! Wake up!!"
The struggling stopped as Renji woke. Dark eyes blinked up at Ichigo, gradually finding focus on his face. Awareness registered in Renji's expression as he sat up beside him. "Thanks fer wakin' me. Dun like t' relive tha'." He ran a shaking hand through his hair and leaned gratefully into Ichigo's embrace as the tears started to fall.
"Yeah… I ken." Ichigo took a stab at the dialect. He felt Renji smile at the gentle teasing even as he shook against his shoulder; Renji sometimes had trouble shaking off his childhood speech patterns after a Rukongai nightmare.
Ichigo held his lover close as he wept his grief and frustration. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last. Horrific memories and bad dreams came with the shinigami uniform. They'd both suffered terrible nightmares after their experiences during the war. Renji had been the one to realize that Ichigo didn't have the training to deal with it properly; he'd comforted and supported Ichigo when his grief spiralled out of control, and taught him how to manage and share the pain.
When Renji raised his head, he wore a small smile. He swiped at his cheeks with the back of his hand, brushing away the last of the tears he'd shed unashamedly.
"Your eyes are all red," Ichigo commented. "Well, redder than usual."
Renji chuckled weakly. "I know… I look like a tomato, right?"
Ichigo laughed softly at the old joke. "Nah, you're all pale now. More like a winter melon in a wig." He got up long enough to fetch a glass of water for the exhausted shinigami, then took Renji back into his arms as they settled down together again.
Renji's lips on his were soft and undemanding, and Ichigo responded in kind. When they pulled apart, Ichigo was not at all surprised when his lover lowered his head and sighed into his neck instead of moving to more intimate activity. His energy was already hovering on the brink of sleep, though he fought against it.
"'M tired," Renji mumbled, his eyelids sliding closed in spite of his obvious efforts to keep them open.
"So sleep."
"Sure?"
"Yup." Ichigo couldn't help the grin spreading across his face at his lover's rather endearing sleep-induced confusion.
"'Kay then. Night Ichi." Renji was asleep in seconds.
*
Ichigo woke early the next morning, despite the interruption in the night. He curled himself around his lover's form, smiling when Renji settled closer in his sleep. He felt Renji's reiatsu, and was not surprised to find it calm and relaxed. Rough night for him, but it looks like he's ok. Been through this before, and we will again - handling things this way really works.
Ichigo turned his thoughts over in his mind a few times. We're gonna be facin' this sorta thing for a long, long time - well, forever, really. Wonder how it'll feel - doesn’t look like you ever get used to it. But if you have somethin' solid you can trust… like our connection. We're in this together, forever - that's what keeps us goin' even when we're strugglin' with everythin' else.
Ichigo wanted to do something, make some gesture… He wasn't sure why - they'd never needed outward symbols or demonstrations, and they still didn't. All the same, he wanted to do… something.
He remembered the way his heart had started racing inexplicably when they'd leaned on each other at his birthday celebration… he remembered Renji's surprised smile when they declared their feelings so openly.
I still don't like being too… close… in public, but that's 'cause it's private and I don't want to share it with anyone but Renji. But there's somethin' about puttin' my mark on him and havin' his mark on me for everyone to know we belong to each other… I can't deny how it makes me feel. Ichigo stopped and grabbed at the thought before he lost it. He pulled out Yumichika's map that, true to his word, Ichigo never removed from his pocket. Pinned to the back was the card Shuuhei had given him on his birthday.
His mark… Ichigo smiled as he closed his eyes.
:Hello, Ichigo.:
"Hey, Zangetsu." Ichigo looked around the odd building-scape. "Things here the same as always, huh?"
:You've been getting stronger. We are fighting well together.: Zangetsu's approval was clear in his voice.
"Yeah, we're gettin' a lot of practice, that's for sure."
:It is a difficult time. But you're meeting the challenge well.:
"We're doin' our best."
:That's all you can ask for.:
Ichigo smiled. "Listen, the reason I'm here… I want your opinion, and your help."
:Ah, yes.:
"Right, you already know everything I wanna say. Yanno that really cuts down on the conversation potential."
Zangetsu's chuckle echoed eerily. :It saves time.:
"I wanna do this, for both of us. Well all of us, really." Ichigo wanted to explain even though he knew he didn't have to. "It's a part of him, and he's a part of me, so I wanna show that."
:An appropriate sentiment towards one's partner.:
"Yeah, I guess." Ichigo wasn’t used to hearing anyone else describe the… well it was a partnership he had with Renji. More than just sex, more than just love, it was a bond forged with mutual respect and admiration and loyalty as well as all the rest.
"It's not just me n' Renji involved here, though. It might've taken me a bit longer to figure it out," Ichigo grinned, "but even I figured out that I've got another partner with me all the time. And since that's the case, it's only right I ask Zabimaru, too, as Renji's fighting partner."
:You want me to ask the next time we speak.:
"Yeah if you would, please. I'd do it myself but, eh… I dunno, is that even possible?" Ichigo asked curiously.
Zangetsu stared off to the side, watching as a patch of light grew and began to shimmer. :It is indeed possible, and you are about to get your chance.:
"Er…" Ichigo peered apprehensively at the shape taking form in the swirling fog.
::Good morning Zangetsu.:: The new voice had an odd stereo quality. ::Well this's different… ya shoulda just told me you were busy.::
"Zabimaru…" Ichigo had seen the creature before, of course, but he hadn't been prepared to meet him again just now, especially not right here.
::Hey, Ichigo. Nice place ya got here.::
"Uh, thanks." He watched, fascinated, as the two heads looked in different directions - one at Zangetsu, and one at himself.
::So I'll just let you two finish whatever you're doin'…::
"Could you wait, please?" Ichigo asked quickly. "I, um... I wanna ask you somethin'."
::Huh, that's different, too. Whassup?::
Ichigo wasn't sure which head he should address, so he settled for alternating his gaze between the two. "Yanno what happened last night," he began, "and how hard it is sometimes to deal with the stuff we gotta deal with. I wanna do somethin' to… to reinforce that some things really are forever."
::With you so far.::
"I was thinkin', since we're all sort of linked together, it'd be nice to have somethin' that'd reflect that." Ichigo pointed a bit self-consciously. "Like those."
::You wanna get a tattoo?:: The odd voices sounded curious.
"I know it means somethin'. I don't wanna just… intrude," Ichigo said earnestly.
::If you're askin' permission, then you're not intrudin'.:: The heads switched; the snaky tail was now staring at Ichigo while the other looked at the tall figure in the flowing cloak. ::Zangetsu?::
:They do seem to be rather attached to each other.:
::Rather.:: There was a breathy chuckle. ::That's a powerful gesture, Ichigo. You sure 'bout this?::
"Absolutely," Ichigo answered immediately.
::Good.::
"I was thinking," he began, "something like that, only that part over there with that part there, and…" Ichigo wondered how to describe the hazy image he had in his mind.
The creature extended a white limb, and before Ichigo's eyes an intricate design appeared. ::Somethin' like this?::
"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "It's perfect. How'd you do that?"
:You really have to ask?:
"Guess not." Ichigo smiled. "Thanks."
*
Omake
~Ch 12~
Akuni: See, look! All you people who think I'm a Kira hater - I didn't kill him, or even harm him very badly.
Renji: Kira, ya all better now?
Kira: Yes, Abarai-kun. Unohana-taichou took good care of me.
Ichigo: Glad to hear it, 'cause we got a lotta stuff to talk about.
Renji: Hang on just a minute, Ichigo, I got somethin' t' ask Kira first before ya start talkin' 'bout work. *glances sideways at Akuni* Kira, are ya really ok? That thing hit ya pretty hard.
Kira: Did it? I suppose it must have. I… I don't really remember.
Renji: Ya don't remember?
Ichigo: How can you not remember that fight?
Kira: I just don't! *flushes*
Ichigo: You forgot bein' slammed to the ground by a giant tentacle and havin' all your energy suck- *coughs loudly* Well I guess that'd be a pretty traumatic thing, right Renji?
Renji: Uh, right!
Ichigo: And there was probably some head injury, right? *looks at Akuni*
Akuni: Oh… *eyes wide* Oh yes, definitely. Head injury. Hit the ground very hard. Broken ribs, cracked skull, that sort of thing.
Kira: Right. So I'll be going now… Ichigo, I'll be in my office when you need to discuss work. *leaves quickly*
Ichigo/Renji/Akuni: …
Renji: Did it… did it get away from ya, maybe?
Akuni: No, I swear I didn't do anything!
Ichigo: Then what's he all worked up about?
Akuni: I have no idea.
Ichigo/Renji: You're the author, who else should know?!
Continue to Chapter 13 - Fortification
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