Yomenai Kotoba 11/?? - AoiXRuki, ReitaXKai
Title: Yomenai Kotoba
Chapter: 11/??
Author: chuu ( akichuu)
Fandom: JRock, Gazette
Pairings: AoiXRuki. ReitaXKai
Overall Rating: NC-17
Genre: Smut. But it's sort of fluffy at some parts. Watch for some angst too.
Warnings: ManXMan sex scenes, language--just sometimes, over-exaggerated romance scenes.
Summary: ... Reita sat on the chair right in front of Ruki. "I want to... Talk to Ruki," he said slowly...
Comments: Heeeeyy~ Say hi to my new beta:
momiji_manjuu. Okay, yeah, this chapter is BETAed. Yay!
As you can see, I added 'angst' to the genre, because honestly... It is leading down to there. Weird how my angsty side has been winning a lot lately...
- 11 -
Ruki lifted his head, allowing the fingers to trace his neck, feeling a little bit tingly there at some specific points but he tried not to flinch too much. He shifted his head to the side slightly when the fingers reached below his ear, and very clearly, he could hear an unhappy sigh.
"Oh seriously, Ruki-kun..." Ruki lowered his gaze, finding the band's make-up artist frowning and glaring intently at the part she was giving extra-careful attention to, "Believe me, I'm not joking, I've spent more concealer on you than the rest of the band. God... Look at these..." she mumbled, patting her fingers on another spot on Ruki's neck, "Should I just take a picture and show these to you?"
Ruki giggled in amusement, "No, thanks. I saw them myself in the mirror this morning..."
Emi, the make-up artist, shook her head in disbelief. She dipped her finger again, taking another considerable amount of the skin-colored liquid that she squeezed out of its tube, and returned her attention to Ruki's neck. "You should've thought about what you're supposed to do today before letting Aoi-kun ravish you like this..."
"Mm..." Ruki smirked, thinking about what she was suggesting. It's not like he had completely forgotten about the photoshoot they were supposed to do today. "You try reasoning with Aoi when he's horny. Take my word, it won't be easy..." As if Ruki hadn't tried just what she said... Talking to Aoi and begging him not to bite, nip, suck on his neck too hard, otherwise he'd leave marks. Now see what that had brought him: even bigger and clearer marks.
Maybe Ruki should ask their stylist to get him a high-collared suit for the band's next costume...
Hearing Ruki's comment, Emi grinned, "Like you'd give me a chance at that?"
It didn't take Ruki a second to give her a sharp glare, "Over my dead body."
Emi laughed freely, looking at Ruki. "Point well taken, Ruki-kun," she said, putting down the concealer tube on the table right next to them and grabbing the compact powder, "Aoi's all yours."
Ruki closed his eyes when Emi started to powder his face, doing her job with excellently skillful movements.
Oh yes... Ruki silently admitted, unable to avoid the smile stretching on his lips, Aoi's all mine. And weren't he the happiest man on earth, living with that fact. Aoi's all mine, and to hell if I have to share him with anyone else... Funny, Ruki was complaining about Aoi's possessiveness and how he never seemed to be able to control it, no matter where the two of them were, no matter what the situation was. He actually felt like a pathetic hypocrite now that he couldn't stand seeing another hand touching Aoi. Was this how Aoi felt for him? Was this what possessiveness really meant? It might not be as severe as Aoi's, but at least Ruki had had the taste of it. Honestly, this was his very first time knowing what it was like, to love something right down to the point of being possessive. He had never been like this before. Before Aoi came along, love was just plain old love, and Ruki had never even felt jealous about anything or anyone. But now... Love was possessing, love was greed, love was lust. Love was Aoi.
"Wonder if..." Emi's vague mumble startled Ruki a bit, "There are more marks under this shirt..."
His mind spent some time digesting Emi's words, before Ruki finally laughed out loud, "Oh yes, there surely are! You wanna take a look?" On his chest, his stomach and down even lower on his body, those marks were everywhere. Aoi had made sure he didn't leave a spot unchecked. Ruki could bet that Aoi had had the time of his life, venturing Ruki's body, each and every inch of it, like he was Aoi's little toy with parts that had yet to be fully discovered. In a way, it's quite an embarrassing thing that every morning he was presented with a stunning sight to see in the mirror: himself with lots and lots of deep red love bites all over his body. But, then again, it's not like Ruki didn't like it to be treated that way... In fact, he had plenty enough reasons to let Aoi do to him as he pleased, that included letting Aoi mark him as if he was Aoi's territory. The process was completely fun, simply speaking. Well, more like arousing, to be honest... Watching - and feeling - Aoi's mouth sliding slowly all over his skin, kissing, licking, sucking on him...
Ruki was still giggling when Emi smacked him playfully on his forehead, "And risk my head getting bitten off by Aoi-kun?" she commented, half-laughing, "I don't think he would let me live in peace if you ever let me see you without your clothes on, Ruki-kun. It's really not that interesting anyways, to see more of these bruises all over you. It's rather... What's the word..." she pondered, trying to focus back on her job doing Ruki's make up, "Horrific. It's going to make me think about just what, exactly, the things Aoi-kun did to you were..."
"Emi-chan!" Ruki exclaimed, bemused at hearing Emi's comment, "I didn't know you were such a pervert!"
Ruki received a pinch on his arm for his words, but he giggled, having much fun seeing the blush appearing on Emi's cheeks. "Shut up, Ruki-kun, or I'll smear the eyeliner all over your face, and see if I give a damn if you look like crap for the photoshoot," she threatened, pointing the exact item she was mentioning in her hand towards Ruki, and Ruki knew better than to defy her because by experience, she seriously meant almost all of her threats. He closed his mouth, but couldn't help the smirk his lips were still wearing. "I'm not a pervert, at least no more than you are," she said, starting to work on Ruki's eyelid, "God only knows the kind of kinky things that you used to do with Aoi-kun."
"I'll let you know some details if you want..." Ruki giggled again.
"Ruki-kun!!" she smacked Ruki again, but nevertheless giggling, "I'll never get you done if you keep distracting me like this! God, you're just... Helpless!"
Yes, I'm helpless. So fucking helplessly in love... Ruki smiled as wide as ear to ear, staying still as best as he could while holding back to laugh, listening to Emi complaining even further. "Thank God I don't do your wardrobes too. I bet Kuroki-san had her share of the horror, maybe even worse than I had," she said. Kuroki-san was their wardrobe consultant; she took care of the band's costumes and all that that entailed. Why, of course, she had definitely seen how Ruki looked without his shirt on, and Ruki had had a lot of fun seeing her face when she saw him... And Kuroki-san was a shy, more timid kind of person. Compared to Emi, she was an innocent saint. Poor girl... Wonder what had gone through her mind back then...
The door clicked open in the next second, cutting off Ruki's laughter and Emi's next comment about the bags under Ruki’s eyes, and how Ruki and Aoi should be reducing the frequency of them having sex in one week (to which Ruki objected very, very quickly!), and Ruki shifted a bit to see who entered the room.
"Hey," the nose-wrapped bassist smiled at both of them, "Is he done yet?"
"I've done your make-up already, Reita-kun, what's the matter?" Emi asked.
"No, it's not my make-up, Emi-chan," Reita walked in, leaving the door ajar behind him. He came closer, nearing where Ruki sat. "I just... If he's done... I want to..." Reita stuttered while Ruki kept his gaze on him. Unavoidably Ruki recalled that last conversation that they had that night, on the phone, back in Osaka, didn't feel comfortable at all at the kind of feeling the memory brought him.
Reita sat on the chair right in front of Ruki. "I want to... Talk to Ruki," he said slowly.
Ruki didn't have to listen to Reita twice to catch the abundant apprehension in his voice. What would he need now? Why did he want to talk to Ruki? But then again, why would Reita need a reason to talk to Ruki? God... Ruki clenched his eyes closed in discomfort. He never knew when or how their relationship had turned like this, awkward and... Far. Yes, that's the word exactly: Far. He had never realized how far he had drifted away from Reita. How he had never had a decent, friendly conversation with the bassist anymore, not after he got together with Aoi, no matter how Reita had promised to be by his side back then in the hospital. He knew it wasn't because Reita didn't want to keep his promise, but more because of the awkward sort of situation that Reita had to deal with, seeing how Ruki was always with Aoi. Yes... After that night... The distance grew further and further...
He didn't want it to happen at all. Love, when it came, it shouldn't be ruining what was already there, which was friendship. Ruki and Reita's friendship was dated long before Aoi came along, sadly to think about, and when the whole disaster took place, this friendship was one of the things that got damaged. Something with an ugly taste coiled inside Ruki's stomach as he thought of that, thought of how Reita must have felt all this time. Maybe he had been thinking... That Ruki was a complete jerk...
"I'll be done in a second," Emi stated, putting on the last layer of eyeliner on Ruki. Her words made the ugly feeling in Ruki's stomach become worse.
She did exactly what she said she'd do, and she was done in blink of an eye, patting a bit more powder to Ruki's skin just to make sure he looked perfect, and that's it. She put back all the make-up supplies back into the case. "There. He's all yours now, Reita-kun," Emi said, smiling to Reita, "Tell me where Kai is, he's next."
Reita answered quickly, and with that Emi left them both inside the room, making sure they had enough privacy as she pulled the door closed behind her.
And that left... Ruki alone with Reita in the room.
The first greeting felt like a rock pushing up through his throat, trembling heavily inside his mouth, "Hey." It's the stupidest greeting that was ever made, but Ruki couldn't really think of a better one at the moment.
"Hey," Reita greeted the same. A stiff smile came clinging to his lips, "Um... How's it been?"
Ruki shifted in his seat, sitting up straight, meeting Reita by the eyes, "It's been... Okay, I guess. You?"
"Yeah... It's been okay for me too," Reita replied, pursing his lips for a second, "Well, you know... Uruha moved out."
Ruki frowned, "What?"
"Uruha... Moved out of my place a few days ago. He is living in his own apartment again now."
After what had happened, Ruki knew that Reita had been taking care of Uruha. Right then, it seemed like the wisest thing to do than to let Uruha live by himself. God only knew what might happen if he had been left alone, would he have survived without anyone's help, considering his mental condition back then...
"Is... Is he okay...?" Ruki asked slowly, doubtfully. It had been a while now, hadn't it? Two months or so. Two months weren't long, but there should be some changes already...
"I guess so. He looked great that day in the meeting, didn't he?" Reita asked back.
Ruki pondered about that exact day Reita was pointing at. Yeah... He had to admit that he was pretty surprised at the moment Uruha walked into the meeting room, smiling, looking clean and bright, unlike the previous days when Uruha had shown up looking messy, careless, and most of the time being very shut away from everybody else. Ruki could swear the alcohol had done that, made Uruha look a mess. He had been wondering if Uruha was ever recovering at all, couldn't help being worried about him, couldn't get rid of the thought of how Uruha had a huge tendency to drown his sadness and despair in alcohol.
"Yeah..." Ruki approved Reita's opinion before, "Yeah I guess he looked pretty good at the meeting."
"I was surprised too," Reita commented, smiling wider, as if he had just read Ruki's mind, "I had the worst thoughts... I mean, after that day Uruha had left, I hadn't met him at all, not until the meeting. I couldn't guess how he would be dealing with himself when he was all alone. But... It turned out that I was just scaring myself."
"So I guess... Living by himself does him good?"
"Mm..." Reita nodded, "Maybe. Maybe he was just... Trying to get busy with something. He was pretty much unoccupied while he was at my place. That... Or maybe I'm just... A bad friend." Reita chuckled lightly at the end of his words, but Ruki didn't feel that it was a funny thing.
"No, you're not," he objected, "You're a good friend, Reita..."
Reita tilted his head sideways; his smile grew softer but sadder on his lips, the stiffness dissipating, "Am I, Ruki? Do you really think so?"
Ruki didn't answer immediately, but only looked at Reita. For a brief moment, Ruki kept that deep and intense eye contact with Reita, before he stood up quickly and lunged towards Reita, grabbing him into his hold.
"Reita..." he whispered, not really understanding why exactly was he doing this, not understanding just why it felt important to hug his friend right now. But he just felt like he had to, and he did. He gripped tighter around Reita's neck, "You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for."
He could feel Reita tense in his hold, but only a moment later, Ruki felt a hand on his back.
"Hey... Hey, Ru-chan..." Reita giggled nervously, "You're risking me getting murdered by Aoi-kun..."
Ruki breathed and pulled back, seeing Reita's blushing face, he giggled too. "Ah yes... I'm sorry..." he mumbled, returning to his seat, "Lucky you, he didn't just see that. He'd chop off your head and there goes my brother: dead."
"Hm... Yeah. Lucky me..." Reita replied, grinning, "So... Um... Sorry?"
"Sorry?" Ruki repeated the word, wasn't thinking that he was entitled for any apologies Reita could've made.
"For that... Last phone call. I had said some very stupid things..."
Ruki smiled. "It's okay. I guess..."
"No, don't start saying that you deserve this shit or something like that again," Reita cut him off, "It's just going to get us into another endless argument, and my effort coming here will have been useless. So let's just put that behind us, shall we?"
"Hmm..." Ruki grinned, "Okay."
Reita grinned, "Good boy," and he patted Ruki's head (If Emi had seen that, she would be furious because Reita had almost definitely ruined some crucial parts of Ruki's hair-style), "Now can you promise me you won't tell Aoi-kun if I hug you... Again?"
"Ah... Afraid of getting onto Aoi's list of people to kill, Reita-chan?" Ruki laughed, "Just as long as you keep your naughty hands away from groping my ass, I think you'll live peacefully." So he stood up, Reita following, and the two best friends grabbed each other in a deep hug. Defying the risks there were of Aoi walking in on them, Ruki placed a soft kiss on Reita's cheek.
"Now, now, Ru-chan... Really," Reita giggled, but only tightening the hug, "I'd like to live to the next concert..." A minute later, they both pulled back. "Since when have you become so touchy?" Reita asked.
Ruki shrugged. "Mmm... Lately, I guess," he mumbled. Not so long ago, Ruki was not this sort of a person, he was more like someone who'd touch if it was really necessary. Any particular reason why he had become so touchy? Of course, living with Aoi every single day, Ruki had figured out how Aoi's tendency to be very, very touchy was quite infectious. It had gotten to him too, and now he barely could restrain himself from hugging and touching people (Aoi, specifically) almost all the time, just because he liked the feel of it.
"Why? Would a particular someone be angry if he knows I just kissed you?" Ruki mumbled, peering at Reita. There was that hidden intention in his tone that, if he guessed right, might intrigue Reita in some way. And he might be right after all, because then Reita blushed, turning his face away as he sat back on his chair.
"What particular someone?" he replied, eyes drifting far away from Ruki. A bright red blush bloomed on his cheeks, so clear that even his noseband couldn't completely hide it.
In denial, are you? Ruki smirked. Fine, Reita... He could get back to that any time, he knew just how to squeeze it out of Reita... It didn't have to be right here and now, but Ruki would know what he wanted to know, sooner or later.
Ah..."Um..." Reita hummed, clearly attempting to change the topic, "Ruki, there is something that... Uruha had asked me... To ask you..." Reita continued, and his voice was serious, making Ruki loose his grin. "His song..."
Reita didn't complete his sentence but Ruki didn't need him to. "Ah..." he sighed, "Yes... Uruha's song..."
"Have you...? I mean... I know he gave you the tabs, so I'm guessing... You've written the lyrics already?" Reita spoke carefully, "Well, it's that... You know we have a studio session tomorrow..."
Ruki sighed again. He knew that damn well. But things had sidetracked him: that small dispute he had had with Aoi concerning Uruha's song, his trip to Osaka, Aoi's odd behaviour when he had returned. Well it was almost mainly because of Aoi, but then again, Ruki should've been a better person not to let this matter slip away because of such distractions. He had made a promise not to let anything distract him from work, from the band and all its matters. "I... Haven't finished it," Ruki mumbled slowly. I haven't even written one goddamn word!
Reita silenced. Ruki lifted his eyes to meet Reita's, and he found understanding in them.
"I don't wanna push you, but..." Reita spoke again, "We have to record something, otherwise the guys from the company will give us hell."
"That's your way of not pushing me?" Ruki grinned sarcastically, "I know it, Reita. I'll come up with something tonight. I swear."
"Well... We can record the rhythm tracks first tomorrow, and you know you can always do the vocals later on, but... You know, just..." Reita breathed, "Don't push yourself. The results were never good when you pushed yourself."
"Honestly..." Ruki sat down on his chair, unconsciously starting to bite his lower lip, "It's not my vocal parts that I'm worried about the most, Reita..."
"What, then?"
"The guitar parts," Ruki knew that Reita caught his point immediately as those eyes shined with deep apprehension. If things were still as they were right now, there was no way their guitarists could face each other in the studio and work together in harmony. People had said that you shouldn't bring personal matters and feelings into work, but Ruki wasn't certain those people had told Aoi or Uruha about the same thing. The thought wasn't something comfortable to sleep with, and Ruki had been worrying so much, and now that the recording schedule was pressing tightly on them, he couldn't help being this jittery, this afraid.
"You're not the only one who's worried about that..." Reita mumbled, finally, "Well you know what? I might not have the brightest solution in the world for that matter, but when hell breaks loose, you can always come over to my place to hide."
Ruki smiled, very widely, feeling his affection growing stronger for his dear brother.
- TBC -
My fanfic list. Please do, click and read? XD
Chapter: 11/??
Author: chuu ( akichuu)
Fandom: JRock, Gazette
Pairings: AoiXRuki. ReitaXKai
Overall Rating: NC-17
Genre: Smut. But it's sort of fluffy at some parts. Watch for some angst too.
Warnings: ManXMan sex scenes, language--just sometimes, over-exaggerated romance scenes.
Summary: ... Reita sat on the chair right in front of Ruki. "I want to... Talk to Ruki," he said slowly...
Comments: Heeeeyy~ Say hi to my new beta:
momiji_manjuu. Okay, yeah, this chapter is BETAed. Yay!
As you can see, I added 'angst' to the genre, because honestly... It is leading down to there. Weird how my angsty side has been winning a lot lately...
- 11 -
Ruki lifted his head, allowing the fingers to trace his neck, feeling a little bit tingly there at some specific points but he tried not to flinch too much. He shifted his head to the side slightly when the fingers reached below his ear, and very clearly, he could hear an unhappy sigh.
"Oh seriously, Ruki-kun..." Ruki lowered his gaze, finding the band's make-up artist frowning and glaring intently at the part she was giving extra-careful attention to, "Believe me, I'm not joking, I've spent more concealer on you than the rest of the band. God... Look at these..." she mumbled, patting her fingers on another spot on Ruki's neck, "Should I just take a picture and show these to you?"
Ruki giggled in amusement, "No, thanks. I saw them myself in the mirror this morning..."
Emi, the make-up artist, shook her head in disbelief. She dipped her finger again, taking another considerable amount of the skin-colored liquid that she squeezed out of its tube, and returned her attention to Ruki's neck. "You should've thought about what you're supposed to do today before letting Aoi-kun ravish you like this..."
"Mm..." Ruki smirked, thinking about what she was suggesting. It's not like he had completely forgotten about the photoshoot they were supposed to do today. "You try reasoning with Aoi when he's horny. Take my word, it won't be easy..." As if Ruki hadn't tried just what she said... Talking to Aoi and begging him not to bite, nip, suck on his neck too hard, otherwise he'd leave marks. Now see what that had brought him: even bigger and clearer marks.
Maybe Ruki should ask their stylist to get him a high-collared suit for the band's next costume...
Hearing Ruki's comment, Emi grinned, "Like you'd give me a chance at that?"
It didn't take Ruki a second to give her a sharp glare, "Over my dead body."
Emi laughed freely, looking at Ruki. "Point well taken, Ruki-kun," she said, putting down the concealer tube on the table right next to them and grabbing the compact powder, "Aoi's all yours."
Ruki closed his eyes when Emi started to powder his face, doing her job with excellently skillful movements.
Oh yes... Ruki silently admitted, unable to avoid the smile stretching on his lips, Aoi's all mine. And weren't he the happiest man on earth, living with that fact. Aoi's all mine, and to hell if I have to share him with anyone else... Funny, Ruki was complaining about Aoi's possessiveness and how he never seemed to be able to control it, no matter where the two of them were, no matter what the situation was. He actually felt like a pathetic hypocrite now that he couldn't stand seeing another hand touching Aoi. Was this how Aoi felt for him? Was this what possessiveness really meant? It might not be as severe as Aoi's, but at least Ruki had had the taste of it. Honestly, this was his very first time knowing what it was like, to love something right down to the point of being possessive. He had never been like this before. Before Aoi came along, love was just plain old love, and Ruki had never even felt jealous about anything or anyone. But now... Love was possessing, love was greed, love was lust. Love was Aoi.
"Wonder if..." Emi's vague mumble startled Ruki a bit, "There are more marks under this shirt..."
His mind spent some time digesting Emi's words, before Ruki finally laughed out loud, "Oh yes, there surely are! You wanna take a look?" On his chest, his stomach and down even lower on his body, those marks were everywhere. Aoi had made sure he didn't leave a spot unchecked. Ruki could bet that Aoi had had the time of his life, venturing Ruki's body, each and every inch of it, like he was Aoi's little toy with parts that had yet to be fully discovered. In a way, it's quite an embarrassing thing that every morning he was presented with a stunning sight to see in the mirror: himself with lots and lots of deep red love bites all over his body. But, then again, it's not like Ruki didn't like it to be treated that way... In fact, he had plenty enough reasons to let Aoi do to him as he pleased, that included letting Aoi mark him as if he was Aoi's territory. The process was completely fun, simply speaking. Well, more like arousing, to be honest... Watching - and feeling - Aoi's mouth sliding slowly all over his skin, kissing, licking, sucking on him...
Ruki was still giggling when Emi smacked him playfully on his forehead, "And risk my head getting bitten off by Aoi-kun?" she commented, half-laughing, "I don't think he would let me live in peace if you ever let me see you without your clothes on, Ruki-kun. It's really not that interesting anyways, to see more of these bruises all over you. It's rather... What's the word..." she pondered, trying to focus back on her job doing Ruki's make up, "Horrific. It's going to make me think about just what, exactly, the things Aoi-kun did to you were..."
"Emi-chan!" Ruki exclaimed, bemused at hearing Emi's comment, "I didn't know you were such a pervert!"
Ruki received a pinch on his arm for his words, but he giggled, having much fun seeing the blush appearing on Emi's cheeks. "Shut up, Ruki-kun, or I'll smear the eyeliner all over your face, and see if I give a damn if you look like crap for the photoshoot," she threatened, pointing the exact item she was mentioning in her hand towards Ruki, and Ruki knew better than to defy her because by experience, she seriously meant almost all of her threats. He closed his mouth, but couldn't help the smirk his lips were still wearing. "I'm not a pervert, at least no more than you are," she said, starting to work on Ruki's eyelid, "God only knows the kind of kinky things that you used to do with Aoi-kun."
"I'll let you know some details if you want..." Ruki giggled again.
"Ruki-kun!!" she smacked Ruki again, but nevertheless giggling, "I'll never get you done if you keep distracting me like this! God, you're just... Helpless!"
Yes, I'm helpless. So fucking helplessly in love... Ruki smiled as wide as ear to ear, staying still as best as he could while holding back to laugh, listening to Emi complaining even further. "Thank God I don't do your wardrobes too. I bet Kuroki-san had her share of the horror, maybe even worse than I had," she said. Kuroki-san was their wardrobe consultant; she took care of the band's costumes and all that that entailed. Why, of course, she had definitely seen how Ruki looked without his shirt on, and Ruki had had a lot of fun seeing her face when she saw him... And Kuroki-san was a shy, more timid kind of person. Compared to Emi, she was an innocent saint. Poor girl... Wonder what had gone through her mind back then...
The door clicked open in the next second, cutting off Ruki's laughter and Emi's next comment about the bags under Ruki’s eyes, and how Ruki and Aoi should be reducing the frequency of them having sex in one week (to which Ruki objected very, very quickly!), and Ruki shifted a bit to see who entered the room.
"Hey," the nose-wrapped bassist smiled at both of them, "Is he done yet?"
"I've done your make-up already, Reita-kun, what's the matter?" Emi asked.
"No, it's not my make-up, Emi-chan," Reita walked in, leaving the door ajar behind him. He came closer, nearing where Ruki sat. "I just... If he's done... I want to..." Reita stuttered while Ruki kept his gaze on him. Unavoidably Ruki recalled that last conversation that they had that night, on the phone, back in Osaka, didn't feel comfortable at all at the kind of feeling the memory brought him.
Reita sat on the chair right in front of Ruki. "I want to... Talk to Ruki," he said slowly.
Ruki didn't have to listen to Reita twice to catch the abundant apprehension in his voice. What would he need now? Why did he want to talk to Ruki? But then again, why would Reita need a reason to talk to Ruki? God... Ruki clenched his eyes closed in discomfort. He never knew when or how their relationship had turned like this, awkward and... Far. Yes, that's the word exactly: Far. He had never realized how far he had drifted away from Reita. How he had never had a decent, friendly conversation with the bassist anymore, not after he got together with Aoi, no matter how Reita had promised to be by his side back then in the hospital. He knew it wasn't because Reita didn't want to keep his promise, but more because of the awkward sort of situation that Reita had to deal with, seeing how Ruki was always with Aoi. Yes... After that night... The distance grew further and further...
He didn't want it to happen at all. Love, when it came, it shouldn't be ruining what was already there, which was friendship. Ruki and Reita's friendship was dated long before Aoi came along, sadly to think about, and when the whole disaster took place, this friendship was one of the things that got damaged. Something with an ugly taste coiled inside Ruki's stomach as he thought of that, thought of how Reita must have felt all this time. Maybe he had been thinking... That Ruki was a complete jerk...
"I'll be done in a second," Emi stated, putting on the last layer of eyeliner on Ruki. Her words made the ugly feeling in Ruki's stomach become worse.
She did exactly what she said she'd do, and she was done in blink of an eye, patting a bit more powder to Ruki's skin just to make sure he looked perfect, and that's it. She put back all the make-up supplies back into the case. "There. He's all yours now, Reita-kun," Emi said, smiling to Reita, "Tell me where Kai is, he's next."
Reita answered quickly, and with that Emi left them both inside the room, making sure they had enough privacy as she pulled the door closed behind her.
And that left... Ruki alone with Reita in the room.
The first greeting felt like a rock pushing up through his throat, trembling heavily inside his mouth, "Hey." It's the stupidest greeting that was ever made, but Ruki couldn't really think of a better one at the moment.
"Hey," Reita greeted the same. A stiff smile came clinging to his lips, "Um... How's it been?"
Ruki shifted in his seat, sitting up straight, meeting Reita by the eyes, "It's been... Okay, I guess. You?"
"Yeah... It's been okay for me too," Reita replied, pursing his lips for a second, "Well, you know... Uruha moved out."
Ruki frowned, "What?"
"Uruha... Moved out of my place a few days ago. He is living in his own apartment again now."
After what had happened, Ruki knew that Reita had been taking care of Uruha. Right then, it seemed like the wisest thing to do than to let Uruha live by himself. God only knew what might happen if he had been left alone, would he have survived without anyone's help, considering his mental condition back then...
"Is... Is he okay...?" Ruki asked slowly, doubtfully. It had been a while now, hadn't it? Two months or so. Two months weren't long, but there should be some changes already...
"I guess so. He looked great that day in the meeting, didn't he?" Reita asked back.
Ruki pondered about that exact day Reita was pointing at. Yeah... He had to admit that he was pretty surprised at the moment Uruha walked into the meeting room, smiling, looking clean and bright, unlike the previous days when Uruha had shown up looking messy, careless, and most of the time being very shut away from everybody else. Ruki could swear the alcohol had done that, made Uruha look a mess. He had been wondering if Uruha was ever recovering at all, couldn't help being worried about him, couldn't get rid of the thought of how Uruha had a huge tendency to drown his sadness and despair in alcohol.
"Yeah..." Ruki approved Reita's opinion before, "Yeah I guess he looked pretty good at the meeting."
"I was surprised too," Reita commented, smiling wider, as if he had just read Ruki's mind, "I had the worst thoughts... I mean, after that day Uruha had left, I hadn't met him at all, not until the meeting. I couldn't guess how he would be dealing with himself when he was all alone. But... It turned out that I was just scaring myself."
"So I guess... Living by himself does him good?"
"Mm..." Reita nodded, "Maybe. Maybe he was just... Trying to get busy with something. He was pretty much unoccupied while he was at my place. That... Or maybe I'm just... A bad friend." Reita chuckled lightly at the end of his words, but Ruki didn't feel that it was a funny thing.
"No, you're not," he objected, "You're a good friend, Reita..."
Reita tilted his head sideways; his smile grew softer but sadder on his lips, the stiffness dissipating, "Am I, Ruki? Do you really think so?"
Ruki didn't answer immediately, but only looked at Reita. For a brief moment, Ruki kept that deep and intense eye contact with Reita, before he stood up quickly and lunged towards Reita, grabbing him into his hold.
"Reita..." he whispered, not really understanding why exactly was he doing this, not understanding just why it felt important to hug his friend right now. But he just felt like he had to, and he did. He gripped tighter around Reita's neck, "You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for."
He could feel Reita tense in his hold, but only a moment later, Ruki felt a hand on his back.
"Hey... Hey, Ru-chan..." Reita giggled nervously, "You're risking me getting murdered by Aoi-kun..."
Ruki breathed and pulled back, seeing Reita's blushing face, he giggled too. "Ah yes... I'm sorry..." he mumbled, returning to his seat, "Lucky you, he didn't just see that. He'd chop off your head and there goes my brother: dead."
"Hm... Yeah. Lucky me..." Reita replied, grinning, "So... Um... Sorry?"
"Sorry?" Ruki repeated the word, wasn't thinking that he was entitled for any apologies Reita could've made.
"For that... Last phone call. I had said some very stupid things..."
Ruki smiled. "It's okay. I guess..."
"No, don't start saying that you deserve this shit or something like that again," Reita cut him off, "It's just going to get us into another endless argument, and my effort coming here will have been useless. So let's just put that behind us, shall we?"
"Hmm..." Ruki grinned, "Okay."
Reita grinned, "Good boy," and he patted Ruki's head (If Emi had seen that, she would be furious because Reita had almost definitely ruined some crucial parts of Ruki's hair-style), "Now can you promise me you won't tell Aoi-kun if I hug you... Again?"
"Ah... Afraid of getting onto Aoi's list of people to kill, Reita-chan?" Ruki laughed, "Just as long as you keep your naughty hands away from groping my ass, I think you'll live peacefully." So he stood up, Reita following, and the two best friends grabbed each other in a deep hug. Defying the risks there were of Aoi walking in on them, Ruki placed a soft kiss on Reita's cheek.
"Now, now, Ru-chan... Really," Reita giggled, but only tightening the hug, "I'd like to live to the next concert..." A minute later, they both pulled back. "Since when have you become so touchy?" Reita asked.
Ruki shrugged. "Mmm... Lately, I guess," he mumbled. Not so long ago, Ruki was not this sort of a person, he was more like someone who'd touch if it was really necessary. Any particular reason why he had become so touchy? Of course, living with Aoi every single day, Ruki had figured out how Aoi's tendency to be very, very touchy was quite infectious. It had gotten to him too, and now he barely could restrain himself from hugging and touching people (Aoi, specifically) almost all the time, just because he liked the feel of it.
"Why? Would a particular someone be angry if he knows I just kissed you?" Ruki mumbled, peering at Reita. There was that hidden intention in his tone that, if he guessed right, might intrigue Reita in some way. And he might be right after all, because then Reita blushed, turning his face away as he sat back on his chair.
"What particular someone?" he replied, eyes drifting far away from Ruki. A bright red blush bloomed on his cheeks, so clear that even his noseband couldn't completely hide it.
In denial, are you? Ruki smirked. Fine, Reita... He could get back to that any time, he knew just how to squeeze it out of Reita... It didn't have to be right here and now, but Ruki would know what he wanted to know, sooner or later.
Ah..."Um..." Reita hummed, clearly attempting to change the topic, "Ruki, there is something that... Uruha had asked me... To ask you..." Reita continued, and his voice was serious, making Ruki loose his grin. "His song..."
Reita didn't complete his sentence but Ruki didn't need him to. "Ah..." he sighed, "Yes... Uruha's song..."
"Have you...? I mean... I know he gave you the tabs, so I'm guessing... You've written the lyrics already?" Reita spoke carefully, "Well, it's that... You know we have a studio session tomorrow..."
Ruki sighed again. He knew that damn well. But things had sidetracked him: that small dispute he had had with Aoi concerning Uruha's song, his trip to Osaka, Aoi's odd behaviour when he had returned. Well it was almost mainly because of Aoi, but then again, Ruki should've been a better person not to let this matter slip away because of such distractions. He had made a promise not to let anything distract him from work, from the band and all its matters. "I... Haven't finished it," Ruki mumbled slowly. I haven't even written one goddamn word!
Reita silenced. Ruki lifted his eyes to meet Reita's, and he found understanding in them.
"I don't wanna push you, but..." Reita spoke again, "We have to record something, otherwise the guys from the company will give us hell."
"That's your way of not pushing me?" Ruki grinned sarcastically, "I know it, Reita. I'll come up with something tonight. I swear."
"Well... We can record the rhythm tracks first tomorrow, and you know you can always do the vocals later on, but... You know, just..." Reita breathed, "Don't push yourself. The results were never good when you pushed yourself."
"Honestly..." Ruki sat down on his chair, unconsciously starting to bite his lower lip, "It's not my vocal parts that I'm worried about the most, Reita..."
"What, then?"
"The guitar parts," Ruki knew that Reita caught his point immediately as those eyes shined with deep apprehension. If things were still as they were right now, there was no way their guitarists could face each other in the studio and work together in harmony. People had said that you shouldn't bring personal matters and feelings into work, but Ruki wasn't certain those people had told Aoi or Uruha about the same thing. The thought wasn't something comfortable to sleep with, and Ruki had been worrying so much, and now that the recording schedule was pressing tightly on them, he couldn't help being this jittery, this afraid.
"You're not the only one who's worried about that..." Reita mumbled, finally, "Well you know what? I might not have the brightest solution in the world for that matter, but when hell breaks loose, you can always come over to my place to hide."
Ruki smiled, very widely, feeling his affection growing stronger for his dear brother.
- TBC -
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