allopatric
in
akame_
Fic #1 for the contest
So, another post in less than 80 minutes. It's about the contest, don't kill me.
There were only two entries for it. I'm impressed. And I don't think we will be having another contest for a year now.
Here is the first entry for now. I'll post the other one tomorrow and also the voting poll for it. There will be only one winner and I'll make the akame fic contest banners for both of you. The theme was Mpreg btw.
Title: In My Daughter's Eyes
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jin has loved Kazuya for the longest time...and Kazuya loved him back, but neither dared to say it. But one night, they surrendered to their feelings and made love. The next morning, Kazuya was gone and had disappeared from Jin's life...at least, until Jin found him six months later. Pregnant. With his child.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything...except the plot....
Everything becomes a little clearer…
--
A soft wind blew in the air, a gentle whisper that caressed his cheek as he lay with his head in his arms at the picnic table in the large square. A pair of earphones was tucked into his ears and his hair blew lightly, causing a few strands to fall in front of his eyes. Brown eyes fluttered open for a brief second and then those eyes closed again, hiding deep brown orbs from view. The cheek resting on the sleeve of the white shirt shifted, revealing a pinkish hue from pressing against his arm.
It was this scene that Akanishi Jin had been staring at for so long.
He sat with his chin in his hands, elbows propped up on the table across from the younger man taking a nap on this early spring day. His eyes bore unblinkingly at the younger man, letting this view of him, undisturbed by the harsh bite of reality, stayed in his memory forever.
Because this was a moment in which Kamenashi Kazuya belonged only to him.
This moment in time, which he would remember forever, just the two of them alone, and although Kazuya may not realize it, Jin would never forget it.
A soft sigh escaped his lips at the same time that another light wind blew, causing a few more strands of hair to fall into Kazuya’s face. Jin bit his lip, trying to resist the urge but eventually, he reached over with a soft smile on his face as he lightly brushed the strands of hair out of Kazuya’s eyes, his fingers brushing ever so gently against smooth skin. A smile crossed Jin’s face as the familiar feelings concerning Kazuya rose up in him.
Kazuya probably never knew how much one smile from him could brighten Jin’s day.
I wonder…if you did, would you stop smiling…. Jin thought as he twirled a strand of Kazuya’s hair around his finger.
And that was why he did not dare tell Kazuya his feelings…
Because to Jin, the world would end the moment Kazuya stopped smiling.
Unbidden, a tear escaped Jin’s eyes as he thought about the future.
What would happen in two weeks…?
When he graduated…
Leaving this place…
Would they still be the same when he was out of university and Kazuya was still a student…?
Would he still be able to see Kazuya like this…?
“Jin?”
He jumped, startled out of his thoughts as he glanced at Kazuya, who was looking up at him with a puzzled, groggy expression.
He quickly removed his hand from the younger boy’s hair, hoping that Kazuya was still too out of it to really notice what Jin had been doing.
“Nice nap?” Jin asked lightly.
Kazuya frowned at him and Jin felt a bit of his heart twist.
Kazuya reached over and brushed Jin’s cheek with his finger and Jin looked at him with confusion.
“Tears.” Kazuya said, looking up at Jin with an almost accusing expression, “Were you crying, Jin?”
“…no…something in my eye” Jin lied.
“Oh…” Kazuya’s frown turned into the smile that always made Jin’s heart burst, “Okay. As long as you’re not crying. Don’t ever cry Jin - I don’t ever want to see you sad like that”
And Jin smiled brightly back, a smile that came straight from the depths of his heart.
--
…I realize what life is all about
--
It was surprising he could still see in the dark room, the only light being the lights from the city, streaming into the apartment. He was locked in this standing position, unable to move for the body attached to his, where it had practically been all evening and night, after the graduation celebrations earlier that day.
His hands travelled up the smooth, perfect skin, fingers tracing little patterns on the bare arms of the younger man who was leaning against him, his head resting on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his waist. Jin glanced down at Kazuya, who had been locked like this against him for the longest time, and Jin’s hands, against his attempts at restraining himself, wandered over Kazuya’s body, resting on Kazuya’s back, fingers brushing over the bare skin exposed by the mere a-shirt that Kazuya wore.
The mere sight of the bare skin of Kazuya’s shoulders made Jin lose all self-restraint he had been building up for months, for years…
“You’re going to leave me” Kazuya was mumbling into Jin’s chest, his speech a bit slurred from the alcohol earlier that night, “You’ve graduated and you’re going to leave”
Jin made a shushing noise as he put his finger under Kame’s chin and tilted his face up. The younger man had unshed tears in his eyes and Jin felt his heart break at the sight of the tears. He stared, helpless, into the man’s eyes for a moment before breaking his self-restraint; and he lowered his lips to Kazuya’s.
There was no shocked silence, or a slap to the face like Jin had imagined.
Instead, a pair of arms tightened around Jin’s waist and Jin wanted to smile, as he deepened the kiss, the kiss that was not rejected. It was with that joyful feeling in him that his hands wandered down Kazuya’s shoulders, his hands caressing the bare skin, caressing all the bare skin of the body that he could touch right now.
Kazuya bit his lip to keep the sound of protest from escaping when Jin pulled away. He could only watch as Jin smiled in an indescribable way at him, and it was with that smile that Jin lowered his lips to Kazuya’s neck, trailing butterfly kisses up along it and his tongue flicking across the smooth skin.
A throaty whisper of, “Jin” escaped Kazuya’s lips as he held onto Jin’s waist to keep standing, to keep his knees from buckling like they wanted to.
Jin put his hand on the small of Kazuya’s back, keeping him standing while holding the younger man close to him and as he did, his other hand found Kazuya’s arm again and as he traced small patterns on the bare skin with his fingers, causing shudders to go through Kazuya like spasms, his lips wandered up and back to the lips that he had claimed as his already tonight, the lips that he would make sure no one else claimed.
Kazuya returned the kiss, deepening it as he held onto Jin’s elbow, gripping it tightly as though if he let go, he would be torn out of this little world he and Jin were both trapped in together at the moment.
Jin’s hands wandered up to Kazuya’s neck, wandered to the back of his head, where it got entangled in the hair that Jin so enjoyed playing with unbeknownst to Kazuya, and Jin pressed Kazuya close to him with the hand that was still supporting Kazuya and their lips, which had separated for a few seconds, crashed upon each other once more. Jin’s tongue flicked against Kazuya’s lips and Kazuya could only oblige and parted his lips.
Jin’s hand left Kazuya’s hair, wandering back down, trailing circles down Kazuya’s arm and it wandered further to the hem of Kazuya’s shirt, where a bit of bare skin was exposed. Jin slid his hand under the shirt, his hand relishing the feel of the smooth, bare skin that was his to explore.
“J-Jin!” Kazuya whispered. Anything he had to say, however, was cut off when Jin continued tracing small, nearly unbearable patterns on his skin and he was lost to his senses as Jin’s lips crashed upon his again.
And the moment that Kazuya’s shirt was lifted over his head, letting his bare upper body be exposed to and pressed against Jin’s body, he was no longer capable of coherent thought and speech and was lost in the world that was Jin’s arms around his, holding him tightly, as though promising to never let go.
--
It’s hanging on when your heart has had enough…
--
Only a few hours later, the morning sun cast its rays into the room and it was because of this unwanted light so early in the morning and the pounding that he was slowly becoming aware of, that Jin opened his eyes, intent on getting some painkillers into his body. He sat up and furrowed his brow when he realized he was not wearing anything at all. It was with wide eyes that last night’s events came back to him and he looked around furtively at the side of the bed that he knew Kazuya had taken last night after…after…
Jin could not help the blush and the happy look that crossed his face as he remembered last night’s activities and looked away from where Kazuya must still have been sleeping, knowing that if he did look at Kazuya, he would not be able to keep the blush and the smile off his face as he remembered last night.
But…
He wondered if Kazuya had been sober enough to remember it as well.
“Kazu…I’m gonna go get some painkillers, you want any?” Jin asked as he found a pair of boxers in his closet and pulled them on.
There was no answer.
“Kazu?” Jin turned around, peering at the lump of covers.
Something was off.
Jin wandered over to the side of the bed and slowly, moved the covers down. Then he jumped, startled when something fell off the bed where Kazuya should have been sleeping.
It was not Kazuya.
Instead, one of the many large pillows fell off the bed which Jin stared at stupidly until he noticed the note stuck on it.
I’m sorry Jin.
That was all it said.
But Jin knew that handwriting.
He knew it too well, for how many times had he watched Kazuya finish his assignments, just so he could watch Kazuya when he concentrated on a question, to try to help him if he needed it.
“What…what is this?” Jin whispered, staring at the note in horror.
His heart clenched and there was a feeling of dread pounding through him, like the quick beating of a drum and he grabbed the note in his fist and ran from his room to the rest of the rooms in the small apartment, which he shared with Kazuya.
The kitchen…was empty although it looked as though it had been used earlier that morning
The bathroom…
Kazuya’s room.
The living room…
No trace of the man who had captured his heart and was in the middle of breaking it.
A horrible feeling seeped through Jin like poison through his pores, unavoidable as the realization came and painful as it seemed to tear him apart from the inside.
Kazuya had left.
Maybe…he’s just… Jin tried to think of a reason, any excuse to make him believe that Kazuya would be coming back soon. He wandered into Kazuya’s room and sat down on the other’s bed…and then reality hit him.
It hit him in the form of seeing Kazuya’s room emptied of almost all his belongings, the closet door wrenched open and showing its bare insides like an ugly truth taunting Jin.
Jin ran from the room, to try to escape the unbearable truth of what happened.
But it was inescapable…
Jin sunk down to his knees, in the hallway, staring at nothing in particular, but wishing, wishing so much that Kazuya would appear from behind that couch and say that he was kidding…
But…
Jin had already looked there.
Kazuya was not there…
Jin felt tears well up in his eyes as he realized what had just happened, the unavoidable harsh truth that was the reality that Kazuya had given to him in the form of three words on a blinding white piece of paper.
He had left.
He was not coming back.
He did not love Jin like Jin loved him.
Maybe he never did.
Maybe Jin was just a fool to think that last night meant something.
Kazuya probably never loved Jin.
And it was that fact, that had tears trailing from his eyes and as the drops of salty tears hit the wooden floor boards, a choked, strangled sob escaped Jin’s lips and he wrapped his arms around his knees, curling up into a ball, and he cried, cried for the love that hurt him more than anything had ever done…and his sobs, sounded as though someone was choking him, killing him…
And in all honesty, somebody had.
Somebody had killed him in the way that left no physical marks but left thousands of tiny, bleeding wounds that were unseen by the naked eye.
--
It’s giving more when you feel like giving up…
--
Not for the first time in the two weeks after he had erased himself from his former life, he sighed and looked into the mirror, eyeing his reflection with a hint of loathing and disgust, the bags under his eyes making him want to retch; the sight of his face making him want to just lock himself up somewhere forever, until he died. At least then he would be sparing the world from realizing that a disgusting person like himself dared to live among them. A tear escaped his eyes as he thought about what he had done what he had done and what he wished he could take back right now, to run back in time and just erase all that happened.
But he couldn’t.
No matter what he wished, there was no way to turn back time; he knew that, he knew it and his own body was a living proof of that fact.
He glanced at the object on the bathroom counter, the last one and he knew if this one churned out the same answer as the others, there would be no way it was a lie.
He closed his eyes…
If it was a lie…he could go back…
Just maybe…
“Blue…” Kazuya whispered to himself, eyes scrunching themselves shut, “It’s true…”
He leaned against the door of the washroom, sinking down slowly to the tile floor and it was with an unbelieving cry that he looked up, “I’m pregnant…”
A disbelieving laugh escaped his lips, “Big side-effect”
“You realize that doing this experiment, while giving you extra credit, will have side-effects” the professor told him, “…it’s been untested; you’d be the first one…”
“I’m ready” Kazuya said bravely. What harm could it do?
“I don’t know about your sexual orientation, but either way, no sexual intercourse with a man for a month after this” he said sternly.
“Alright” Kazuya agreed easily.
If only he knew that two weeks later, two weeks after the experiment, that Jin and himself would end up drunk and doing the very thing he had been forbidden from doing. Kazuya buried his head in his hands as he remembered the conversation with his professor.
“You what?!” the man all but screamed.
“I...”
“Kamenashi! I told you not to - you weren’t told what the experiment was, but it was to create a sort of substitute uterus in your body, to test if a man might possibly be able to hold a growing child in their body! So far, from the checks up we’ve done on you, it’s working just like a woman’s reproduction system”
“…what?” Kazuya whispered.
“You’re going to have a baby, Kamenashi, because you were stupid enough to go and have sex!” the professor said coldly.
And now he was in such a mess.
The first man to be pregnant.
Wonderful.
What a freak he was.
Kazuya let out a sob.
Jin wouldn’t love a freak like him.
He’d rather leave him first before Jin realized what a freak he had fallen in love with.
And Kazuya knew; Jin would feel responsible for the baby and…
He wanted to see Jin happy with someone he loved, not someone he felt obligated to…
And no one, not even Jin, could possibly love a freak like him…
Kazuya wrapped his arms around himself, hugging his abdomen securely.
But even a freak like me should be able to protect my own child...
--
I’ve seen the light…it’s in my daughter’s eyes…
--
A smile was fixed on his face as he walked out of the building that he had started working at three months ago. His smile dropped as soon as he stepped out of the street, as with heavy feet, he began walking to the coffee shop down the block, and he wondered, not for the first time in six months, where Kazuya was right now.
Jin looked up at the sky, trying to keep the threatening tears from falling as he remembered the man - the man he had loved for so long, the man he still loved, and the abrupt way he had rejected him.
After Kazuya had left like that, Jin had gone on a frantic search for him, starting with their friends’ places, and then to Kazuya’s parents’ home, and after that, he had continued to every place he could think of as to where the boy could be hiding, to demand answers, to…
To try to get him to give a relationship a chance…
Jin’s heart burned with regret when he remembered the moment, a month later, when he had finally given up on ever finding Kazuya.
He had exhausted all his power, all his belief in ever finding Kazuya when he stopped seeing Kazuya every day, when he stopped seeing the smile that gave him strength at times…
Kazuya, he had been told, had called in a few weeks later, stating that he was dropping out of school.
And everything, everything that might have linked him back to Kazuya, slowly slipped through
Jin’s fingers, until he was grasping at nothing but air and even the air would have given him more faith in Kazuya than what he had now.
Entering the coffee shop, he put his hands in his pockets as he blinked the tears away quickly. Standing there in line, however, did nothing to make him forget the man who was occupying his thoughts today, as well as every other day, as he had been for months, as he had been for years.
“A mocha, small”
The voice penetrated his thoughts suddenly like a sharp knife and Jin looked up at the front of line, a brief sign of recognition crossing his face as he connected the voice to the face, the voice he had been yearning to hear for months.
“Kazu?” he breathed out as he waited for the person who spoke to leave the line, so he could get a good view of the face, the face he was sure belonged to the one he loved.
Jin held his breath, waiting and let out a disappointed sigh when he saw a face that was not Kazuya’s. He put his hands back in his pockets in disappointment, but then he felt his jaw drop and his eyes widen with surprise when he looked up again and saw a pair of wide eyes staring back at him, walking behind the man who had just passed. Then those brown eyes dropped to the ground and the shorter man began to walk away as quickly as he could.
“Kazu!” Jin said, bolting out of line and following Kazuya into the street, grabbing onto Kazuya’s arm, knowing it was him.
He had found him!
His body suddenly felt so light and he wanted to smile and laugh and sing out in joy, his heart filled with such relief, such happiness in this moment, that it was unbelievable.
“Let go” Kazuya whispered, pulling his arm, “Let go of me, Jin” he said with tears in his eyes.
Jin looked at him with a resolute frown, “No. I’m not letting go of you. I’ve been searching for you for six months; I’m not letting you leave now!”
“Let go before you regret it!” Kazuya whispered, hysteria tracing his voice.
“Why? What could I possibly regret from not letting go of the one I love?” Jin retorted, the grip on Kazuya’s arm tightening and he wondered why Kazuya was wearing so many layers of clothing when it was only slightly chilly outside. Kazuya had never been that sensitive to cold.
He moved to wrap an arm around Kazuya’s waist, to embrace the younger man, not caring that they were in public and Kazuya was still mumbling for Jin to let go.
“S-stop…” Kazuya whispered as Jin held him, arms circling around his waist, dangerous close to -
“Stop it!” Kazuya said loudly, pushing Jin away with tears in his eyes as he stared through unshed tears at Jin, who looked shocked, “Stop it Jin”
Jin froze, finally hearing the desperate plea in the voice and seeing the tears welling in those eyes.
“…why? Why did you leave me?” he croaked out, not capable of saying anything else, “Why?”
“…maybe…it was for your own good” Kazuya said, turning away, wiping at his tears, “Maybe I didn’t love you”
Jin got up, chasing after Kazuya, “No, you wouldn’t be crying if you didn’t - Kazu! I love you” he said, in a heartbreaking voice, his voice cracking from the emotion he felt.
“You should never have fallen in love with a freak like me in the first place!” Kazuya whispered loud enough for Jin to hear.
Jin shook his head as he held onto Kazuya shoulder, “What’re you talking about, Kazu-chan? What the hell are you saying? Why -”
Kazuya was beyond hysterical at this point and hearing the pain in Jin’s voice, the desperation, he took Jin’s hand and led it under the layers of clothing that camouflaged what he had been hiding for six months, and placed it atop the obvious large bulge of his once flat stomach. Just as the warm hand rested there, a soft kick came from inside, startling Jin as his looked up, eyes wide.
“I’m pregnant, with your child” the words, hysterical, slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them and with tears in his eyes, he wrenched his arm out of Jin’s grasp and began to run as fast as he could while six months into his pregnancy. Jin stood there, shocked at Kazuya’s words and by the time Jin had shaken out of his stupor, Kazuya was lost in the crowd.
Gone again…
--
In my daughter’s eyes I can see the future…a reflection of who I am and what will be…
--
Kazuya rubbed his stomach as he sat in his apartment in the condominium building that he had started to live in six months ago, because it had been the cheapest, sanitary place he could find. He had been in this position for hours, ever since he had left Jin on the street earlier that day. His shirt had been stripped off as he had taken to doing when he was alone, and the stomach which held the baby was plain, glaring for all to see…but only Kazuya ever saw this. Before today, only two other people knew that Kazuya would be having a baby: his professor, as well as the doctor that his professor had recommended him to, with an explanation of the situation.
And now…Jin did too.
“My little girl” Kazuya said softly as he put a hand on his stomach, “You brought me to see your daddy today”
He smiled softly when he remembered the sudden craving for coffee from that coffee shop that he had gotten while walking down a street seven blocks away.
And as usual, when it came to it, he could not refuse his little girl.
He tried to keep the tears from his eyes as he remembered the confrontation with Jin, and how scared he had been that Jin would embrace him like he had that night and that Jin would find out the truth - the truth behind his departure.
But I ruined it anyways…I told him…even when this is all over, I can’t go back to him at all…
“I guess maybe you wanted to meet your daddy at least once” Kazuya said, talking to his unborn daughter with a sad smile, ignoring the droplets of tears that fell onto his bare stomach.
“But now…I can’t see your daddy anymore…even after you’re born and open your eyes for me”
But…
“I don’t blame you - I wanted to see your daddy too”
Kazuya smiled down at his stomach.
No matter how much change this child had brought to his life, how much he had run away from because of this pregnancy, he would never be one of those people who loathed the child growing inside him…
Because it’s Jin’s child too… Kazuya thought, trying to keep back the tears that were threatening to overflow, And because she’s my little girl…that’s someone no one can ever take away…even if the truth comes out…
A kick came from his stomach and Kazuya smiled through his blurred vision, “You'll take care of me, won’t you, my little girl?”
Another kick.
“You really are your daddy’s child - always being there for me…but you’ve got your daddy beaten; you’re doing it before you’re even born”
“I love you, my little girl” he said, suddenly feeling very emotional as he bent his head and sobs escaped his lips, all the emotions he had been holding back the past six months escaping, “I love your daddy and I love you, and I hope one day, despite everything, he’ll love you too”
Kazuya clutched the blankets, covering his face with his hands as he continued to cry, releasing sharp, heartbreaking cries into the room in which he sat in alone.
--
When I’m gone, I hope you see how happy she made me
--
A sudden, frantic knocking at the door startled Kazuya awake. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, feeling the trace of dried tears on his cheeks and he tried to rub those away furiously. Obviously, he had fallen asleep crying last night. As he did, he glanced at the clock on the wall and groaned, wondering who would be at the door so early in the morning, his body complaining at getting up only a few hours after finally falling sleep last night. Getting out of bed carefully so he did not bump into anything with his stomach, he stretched a bit, trying to get rid of the ache in his back.
Slipping on a large t-shirt that helped to attempt to cover his stomach, he also put on a bathrobe, tying it loosely so nothing too obvious showed and he went to open the door, figuring it was the landlord and something had happened.
He was shocked when he opened the door and saw…
“Jin” Kazuya’s eyes widened and he tried to shut the door and lock it but Jin with a determined look, stuck his foot in the door and kept it from being closed.
“I’m not leaving” Jin said, as Kazuya opened his mouth to tell him to do just that, “I’m not leaving, so let me in Kamenashi Kazuya”
Perhaps it was the way Jin used his full name, something he had not done…ever, but Kazuya blinked in surprise and released his hold on the door, and Jin pushed his way in, grabbed Kazuya’s hand and then slamming the door behind him, locked it.
Kazuya was dragged over to the bed where he was sat down and Jin sat down next to him before suddenly, he untied Kazuya’s bathrobe and before Kazuya could stop him, he lifted the t-shirt up to expose Kazuya’s bare stomach, round with child.
Kazuya stilled, frozen stiff as he looked down, refusing to look at Jin who was staring at Kazuya’s round belly with an intense gaze.
“So it’s true…” Jin said with a strange voice, a crack in it.
“H-How did you find me?” Kazuya asked, his voice shuddering as he kept his gaze fixed on the ground.
“…I remembered that Professor Yamada published an article on the subject of male pregnancy and means of having a child for alternate couples…and that he was your professor at the time you disappeared. It was a wild guess, but I went to him this morning and he admitted he knew where you were”
Kazuya stayed silent, looking down.
“…this is why you left then…” Jin said slowly, trying to control his emotions right now, not wanting to scare of hurt Kazuya who looked so vulnerable right now. His hand remained on the younger man’s stomach and felt the baby inside give a kick.
Kazuya nodded.
“…because you knew you were pregnant”
Another nod.
“…why didn’t you just tell me?”
Kazuya ducked his head even more, shaking his head as tears started streaming down his face.
“Kazuya” Jin said sternly, wanting answers.
No response.
“Kazu” Jin said, putting a hand on Kazuya, who suddenly flinched and looked to his left, at the wall.
Jin sat up straighter, realization dawning in his eyes, “You were afraid of me?”
Silence.
Then Kazuya looked up with eyes shining from his tears and a look of deepest self loathing in his brown orbs, a look that broke Jin’s heart and shattered it into a thousand pieces. He reached out for Kazuya but when the younger man moved away from his hand, he drew his hand back with a wounded look.
“Kazu, I love you - I would never hurt you or anything!” Jin said, in a hurt tone, “Don’t you trust me?”
Kazuya looked up with wide eyes, “Of course”
“Then why didn’t you trust me to keep loving you even though you’re pregnant?”
“Because I’m a man who’s pregnant!” Kazuya cried out, “What do you think went through my head when I realized what would happen? I’m a man who’s pregnant - that isn’t normal in society! Even if you did keep loving me, even if, what do you think people would do to me, to you if they found out - hunted like monsters, ridiculed, hated -”
“Screw society!” Jin said forcefully, taking Kazuya’s hand in his, “Society doesn’t matter - what matters is that I love you…and you love me too, right?”
There was a nod.
“That and our child here, is what matters! It doesn’t matter that we might be frowned upon, even mocked, do you get it?! I don’t care if that happens!”
“…why don’t you…why aren’t you scared, why don’t you hate me?” Kazuya asked softly, tears flowing.
“Because it’s you,” Jin said quietly, “As long as it’s you, nothing else matters! I’ve loved you for years, Kazu, and you know what, I don’t care what other people say, as long as you keep smiling at me, as long as you’re there by my side!”
Kazuya tried to keep more tears from coming as he sat there, having a conversation he should have had six months ago, listening to the words he should have been told six months ago, had he given the one he loved a chance to tell them to him.
“…Jin…” he whispered after a long silence, “…I’m sorry I ran away…”
Jin broke into a smile, tears welling up in his own eyes in relief that Kazuya was finally starting to understand him. He wrapped his arms around Kazuya, “You finally get it?”
“I’m sorry” Kazuya cried into Jin’s shoulder, “I thought I was doing the right thing; I thought you’d be happier. I thought …I thought -”
“I know…I love you” Jin murmured, “I love you too much to let this stop me from loving you”
Kazuya looked at Jin in relief and then took the older man’s hand shyly and put it to his stomach, “The baby - our little girl’s kicking…”
Jin beamed, looking down at Kazuya’s stomach, too overwhelmed to say much at the moment, “…our little girl…”
“My little girl…your daddy came to bring us home…” Kazuya said through happy tears as he smiled at Jin who smiled back lovingly, “Are you happy right now in there? Daddy came for us”
Another flutter of kicks.
Jin beamed happily as he leaned over to kiss Kazuya softly, “I’ll never let either of you go ever again”
--
But the truth is plain to see…she was sent to rescue me…
--
Nearly three months later, Kazuya smiled tiredly at Jin who was looking in awe as he held impossibly small fingers in his hands, gently and then he beamed at Kazuya, “Our daughter…”
Kazuya smiled back at Jin, whose eyes were shining with unshed tears of happiness.
“Our daughter…” he repeated as he watched the baby’s eyes open.
Jin’s smile simply widened as he watched the dark lashes of the newborn daughter, flutter, and he beamed at Kazuya, “Our daughter…she’s beautiful” he said proudly just like the new father that he had just become.
Kazuya smiled and laughed softly, “You love her already don’t you?”
“I’ve loved her for three months” Jin said seriously, “Since the first time I met her…and I love her mother even more”
Kazuya beamed, face practically glowing and Jin leant in for a brief kiss.
Between them, in Kazuya’s arms, a newborn girl looked up at the two with eyes lined with long dark lashes, awe and pure innocence shining in them as the baby looked up at the first sight she would ever see.
Love.
--
I see who I wanna be in my daughter’s eyes…
--
There were only two entries for it. I'm impressed. And I don't think we will be having another contest for a year now.
Here is the first entry for now. I'll post the other one tomorrow and also the voting poll for it. There will be only one winner and I'll make the akame fic contest banners for both of you. The theme was Mpreg btw.
Title: In My Daughter's Eyes
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jin has loved Kazuya for the longest time...and Kazuya loved him back, but neither dared to say it. But one night, they surrendered to their feelings and made love. The next morning, Kazuya was gone and had disappeared from Jin's life...at least, until Jin found him six months later. Pregnant. With his child.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything...except the plot....
Everything becomes a little clearer…
--
A soft wind blew in the air, a gentle whisper that caressed his cheek as he lay with his head in his arms at the picnic table in the large square. A pair of earphones was tucked into his ears and his hair blew lightly, causing a few strands to fall in front of his eyes. Brown eyes fluttered open for a brief second and then those eyes closed again, hiding deep brown orbs from view. The cheek resting on the sleeve of the white shirt shifted, revealing a pinkish hue from pressing against his arm.
It was this scene that Akanishi Jin had been staring at for so long.
He sat with his chin in his hands, elbows propped up on the table across from the younger man taking a nap on this early spring day. His eyes bore unblinkingly at the younger man, letting this view of him, undisturbed by the harsh bite of reality, stayed in his memory forever.
Because this was a moment in which Kamenashi Kazuya belonged only to him.
This moment in time, which he would remember forever, just the two of them alone, and although Kazuya may not realize it, Jin would never forget it.
A soft sigh escaped his lips at the same time that another light wind blew, causing a few more strands of hair to fall into Kazuya’s face. Jin bit his lip, trying to resist the urge but eventually, he reached over with a soft smile on his face as he lightly brushed the strands of hair out of Kazuya’s eyes, his fingers brushing ever so gently against smooth skin. A smile crossed Jin’s face as the familiar feelings concerning Kazuya rose up in him.
Kazuya probably never knew how much one smile from him could brighten Jin’s day.
I wonder…if you did, would you stop smiling…. Jin thought as he twirled a strand of Kazuya’s hair around his finger.
And that was why he did not dare tell Kazuya his feelings…
Because to Jin, the world would end the moment Kazuya stopped smiling.
Unbidden, a tear escaped Jin’s eyes as he thought about the future.
What would happen in two weeks…?
When he graduated…
Leaving this place…
Would they still be the same when he was out of university and Kazuya was still a student…?
Would he still be able to see Kazuya like this…?
“Jin?”
He jumped, startled out of his thoughts as he glanced at Kazuya, who was looking up at him with a puzzled, groggy expression.
He quickly removed his hand from the younger boy’s hair, hoping that Kazuya was still too out of it to really notice what Jin had been doing.
“Nice nap?” Jin asked lightly.
Kazuya frowned at him and Jin felt a bit of his heart twist.
Kazuya reached over and brushed Jin’s cheek with his finger and Jin looked at him with confusion.
“Tears.” Kazuya said, looking up at Jin with an almost accusing expression, “Were you crying, Jin?”
“…no…something in my eye” Jin lied.
“Oh…” Kazuya’s frown turned into the smile that always made Jin’s heart burst, “Okay. As long as you’re not crying. Don’t ever cry Jin - I don’t ever want to see you sad like that”
And Jin smiled brightly back, a smile that came straight from the depths of his heart.
--
…I realize what life is all about
--
It was surprising he could still see in the dark room, the only light being the lights from the city, streaming into the apartment. He was locked in this standing position, unable to move for the body attached to his, where it had practically been all evening and night, after the graduation celebrations earlier that day.
His hands travelled up the smooth, perfect skin, fingers tracing little patterns on the bare arms of the younger man who was leaning against him, his head resting on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his waist. Jin glanced down at Kazuya, who had been locked like this against him for the longest time, and Jin’s hands, against his attempts at restraining himself, wandered over Kazuya’s body, resting on Kazuya’s back, fingers brushing over the bare skin exposed by the mere a-shirt that Kazuya wore.
The mere sight of the bare skin of Kazuya’s shoulders made Jin lose all self-restraint he had been building up for months, for years…
“You’re going to leave me” Kazuya was mumbling into Jin’s chest, his speech a bit slurred from the alcohol earlier that night, “You’ve graduated and you’re going to leave”
Jin made a shushing noise as he put his finger under Kame’s chin and tilted his face up. The younger man had unshed tears in his eyes and Jin felt his heart break at the sight of the tears. He stared, helpless, into the man’s eyes for a moment before breaking his self-restraint; and he lowered his lips to Kazuya’s.
There was no shocked silence, or a slap to the face like Jin had imagined.
Instead, a pair of arms tightened around Jin’s waist and Jin wanted to smile, as he deepened the kiss, the kiss that was not rejected. It was with that joyful feeling in him that his hands wandered down Kazuya’s shoulders, his hands caressing the bare skin, caressing all the bare skin of the body that he could touch right now.
Kazuya bit his lip to keep the sound of protest from escaping when Jin pulled away. He could only watch as Jin smiled in an indescribable way at him, and it was with that smile that Jin lowered his lips to Kazuya’s neck, trailing butterfly kisses up along it and his tongue flicking across the smooth skin.
A throaty whisper of, “Jin” escaped Kazuya’s lips as he held onto Jin’s waist to keep standing, to keep his knees from buckling like they wanted to.
Jin put his hand on the small of Kazuya’s back, keeping him standing while holding the younger man close to him and as he did, his other hand found Kazuya’s arm again and as he traced small patterns on the bare skin with his fingers, causing shudders to go through Kazuya like spasms, his lips wandered up and back to the lips that he had claimed as his already tonight, the lips that he would make sure no one else claimed.
Kazuya returned the kiss, deepening it as he held onto Jin’s elbow, gripping it tightly as though if he let go, he would be torn out of this little world he and Jin were both trapped in together at the moment.
Jin’s hands wandered up to Kazuya’s neck, wandered to the back of his head, where it got entangled in the hair that Jin so enjoyed playing with unbeknownst to Kazuya, and Jin pressed Kazuya close to him with the hand that was still supporting Kazuya and their lips, which had separated for a few seconds, crashed upon each other once more. Jin’s tongue flicked against Kazuya’s lips and Kazuya could only oblige and parted his lips.
Jin’s hand left Kazuya’s hair, wandering back down, trailing circles down Kazuya’s arm and it wandered further to the hem of Kazuya’s shirt, where a bit of bare skin was exposed. Jin slid his hand under the shirt, his hand relishing the feel of the smooth, bare skin that was his to explore.
“J-Jin!” Kazuya whispered. Anything he had to say, however, was cut off when Jin continued tracing small, nearly unbearable patterns on his skin and he was lost to his senses as Jin’s lips crashed upon his again.
And the moment that Kazuya’s shirt was lifted over his head, letting his bare upper body be exposed to and pressed against Jin’s body, he was no longer capable of coherent thought and speech and was lost in the world that was Jin’s arms around his, holding him tightly, as though promising to never let go.
--
It’s hanging on when your heart has had enough…
--
Only a few hours later, the morning sun cast its rays into the room and it was because of this unwanted light so early in the morning and the pounding that he was slowly becoming aware of, that Jin opened his eyes, intent on getting some painkillers into his body. He sat up and furrowed his brow when he realized he was not wearing anything at all. It was with wide eyes that last night’s events came back to him and he looked around furtively at the side of the bed that he knew Kazuya had taken last night after…after…
Jin could not help the blush and the happy look that crossed his face as he remembered last night’s activities and looked away from where Kazuya must still have been sleeping, knowing that if he did look at Kazuya, he would not be able to keep the blush and the smile off his face as he remembered last night.
But…
He wondered if Kazuya had been sober enough to remember it as well.
“Kazu…I’m gonna go get some painkillers, you want any?” Jin asked as he found a pair of boxers in his closet and pulled them on.
There was no answer.
“Kazu?” Jin turned around, peering at the lump of covers.
Something was off.
Jin wandered over to the side of the bed and slowly, moved the covers down. Then he jumped, startled when something fell off the bed where Kazuya should have been sleeping.
It was not Kazuya.
Instead, one of the many large pillows fell off the bed which Jin stared at stupidly until he noticed the note stuck on it.
I’m sorry Jin.
That was all it said.
But Jin knew that handwriting.
He knew it too well, for how many times had he watched Kazuya finish his assignments, just so he could watch Kazuya when he concentrated on a question, to try to help him if he needed it.
“What…what is this?” Jin whispered, staring at the note in horror.
His heart clenched and there was a feeling of dread pounding through him, like the quick beating of a drum and he grabbed the note in his fist and ran from his room to the rest of the rooms in the small apartment, which he shared with Kazuya.
The kitchen…was empty although it looked as though it had been used earlier that morning
The bathroom…
Kazuya’s room.
The living room…
No trace of the man who had captured his heart and was in the middle of breaking it.
A horrible feeling seeped through Jin like poison through his pores, unavoidable as the realization came and painful as it seemed to tear him apart from the inside.
Kazuya had left.
Maybe…he’s just… Jin tried to think of a reason, any excuse to make him believe that Kazuya would be coming back soon. He wandered into Kazuya’s room and sat down on the other’s bed…and then reality hit him.
It hit him in the form of seeing Kazuya’s room emptied of almost all his belongings, the closet door wrenched open and showing its bare insides like an ugly truth taunting Jin.
Jin ran from the room, to try to escape the unbearable truth of what happened.
But it was inescapable…
Jin sunk down to his knees, in the hallway, staring at nothing in particular, but wishing, wishing so much that Kazuya would appear from behind that couch and say that he was kidding…
But…
Jin had already looked there.
Kazuya was not there…
Jin felt tears well up in his eyes as he realized what had just happened, the unavoidable harsh truth that was the reality that Kazuya had given to him in the form of three words on a blinding white piece of paper.
He had left.
He was not coming back.
He did not love Jin like Jin loved him.
Maybe he never did.
Maybe Jin was just a fool to think that last night meant something.
Kazuya probably never loved Jin.
And it was that fact, that had tears trailing from his eyes and as the drops of salty tears hit the wooden floor boards, a choked, strangled sob escaped Jin’s lips and he wrapped his arms around his knees, curling up into a ball, and he cried, cried for the love that hurt him more than anything had ever done…and his sobs, sounded as though someone was choking him, killing him…
And in all honesty, somebody had.
Somebody had killed him in the way that left no physical marks but left thousands of tiny, bleeding wounds that were unseen by the naked eye.
--
It’s giving more when you feel like giving up…
--
Not for the first time in the two weeks after he had erased himself from his former life, he sighed and looked into the mirror, eyeing his reflection with a hint of loathing and disgust, the bags under his eyes making him want to retch; the sight of his face making him want to just lock himself up somewhere forever, until he died. At least then he would be sparing the world from realizing that a disgusting person like himself dared to live among them. A tear escaped his eyes as he thought about what he had done what he had done and what he wished he could take back right now, to run back in time and just erase all that happened.
But he couldn’t.
No matter what he wished, there was no way to turn back time; he knew that, he knew it and his own body was a living proof of that fact.
He glanced at the object on the bathroom counter, the last one and he knew if this one churned out the same answer as the others, there would be no way it was a lie.
He closed his eyes…
If it was a lie…he could go back…
Just maybe…
“Blue…” Kazuya whispered to himself, eyes scrunching themselves shut, “It’s true…”
He leaned against the door of the washroom, sinking down slowly to the tile floor and it was with an unbelieving cry that he looked up, “I’m pregnant…”
A disbelieving laugh escaped his lips, “Big side-effect”
“You realize that doing this experiment, while giving you extra credit, will have side-effects” the professor told him, “…it’s been untested; you’d be the first one…”
“I’m ready” Kazuya said bravely. What harm could it do?
“I don’t know about your sexual orientation, but either way, no sexual intercourse with a man for a month after this” he said sternly.
“Alright” Kazuya agreed easily.
If only he knew that two weeks later, two weeks after the experiment, that Jin and himself would end up drunk and doing the very thing he had been forbidden from doing. Kazuya buried his head in his hands as he remembered the conversation with his professor.
“You what?!” the man all but screamed.
“I...”
“Kamenashi! I told you not to - you weren’t told what the experiment was, but it was to create a sort of substitute uterus in your body, to test if a man might possibly be able to hold a growing child in their body! So far, from the checks up we’ve done on you, it’s working just like a woman’s reproduction system”
“…what?” Kazuya whispered.
“You’re going to have a baby, Kamenashi, because you were stupid enough to go and have sex!” the professor said coldly.
And now he was in such a mess.
The first man to be pregnant.
Wonderful.
What a freak he was.
Kazuya let out a sob.
Jin wouldn’t love a freak like him.
He’d rather leave him first before Jin realized what a freak he had fallen in love with.
And Kazuya knew; Jin would feel responsible for the baby and…
He wanted to see Jin happy with someone he loved, not someone he felt obligated to…
And no one, not even Jin, could possibly love a freak like him…
Kazuya wrapped his arms around himself, hugging his abdomen securely.
But even a freak like me should be able to protect my own child...
--
I’ve seen the light…it’s in my daughter’s eyes…
--
A smile was fixed on his face as he walked out of the building that he had started working at three months ago. His smile dropped as soon as he stepped out of the street, as with heavy feet, he began walking to the coffee shop down the block, and he wondered, not for the first time in six months, where Kazuya was right now.
Jin looked up at the sky, trying to keep the threatening tears from falling as he remembered the man - the man he had loved for so long, the man he still loved, and the abrupt way he had rejected him.
After Kazuya had left like that, Jin had gone on a frantic search for him, starting with their friends’ places, and then to Kazuya’s parents’ home, and after that, he had continued to every place he could think of as to where the boy could be hiding, to demand answers, to…
To try to get him to give a relationship a chance…
Jin’s heart burned with regret when he remembered the moment, a month later, when he had finally given up on ever finding Kazuya.
He had exhausted all his power, all his belief in ever finding Kazuya when he stopped seeing Kazuya every day, when he stopped seeing the smile that gave him strength at times…
Kazuya, he had been told, had called in a few weeks later, stating that he was dropping out of school.
And everything, everything that might have linked him back to Kazuya, slowly slipped through
Jin’s fingers, until he was grasping at nothing but air and even the air would have given him more faith in Kazuya than what he had now.
Entering the coffee shop, he put his hands in his pockets as he blinked the tears away quickly. Standing there in line, however, did nothing to make him forget the man who was occupying his thoughts today, as well as every other day, as he had been for months, as he had been for years.
“A mocha, small”
The voice penetrated his thoughts suddenly like a sharp knife and Jin looked up at the front of line, a brief sign of recognition crossing his face as he connected the voice to the face, the voice he had been yearning to hear for months.
“Kazu?” he breathed out as he waited for the person who spoke to leave the line, so he could get a good view of the face, the face he was sure belonged to the one he loved.
Jin held his breath, waiting and let out a disappointed sigh when he saw a face that was not Kazuya’s. He put his hands back in his pockets in disappointment, but then he felt his jaw drop and his eyes widen with surprise when he looked up again and saw a pair of wide eyes staring back at him, walking behind the man who had just passed. Then those brown eyes dropped to the ground and the shorter man began to walk away as quickly as he could.
“Kazu!” Jin said, bolting out of line and following Kazuya into the street, grabbing onto Kazuya’s arm, knowing it was him.
He had found him!
His body suddenly felt so light and he wanted to smile and laugh and sing out in joy, his heart filled with such relief, such happiness in this moment, that it was unbelievable.
“Let go” Kazuya whispered, pulling his arm, “Let go of me, Jin” he said with tears in his eyes.
Jin looked at him with a resolute frown, “No. I’m not letting go of you. I’ve been searching for you for six months; I’m not letting you leave now!”
“Let go before you regret it!” Kazuya whispered, hysteria tracing his voice.
“Why? What could I possibly regret from not letting go of the one I love?” Jin retorted, the grip on Kazuya’s arm tightening and he wondered why Kazuya was wearing so many layers of clothing when it was only slightly chilly outside. Kazuya had never been that sensitive to cold.
He moved to wrap an arm around Kazuya’s waist, to embrace the younger man, not caring that they were in public and Kazuya was still mumbling for Jin to let go.
“S-stop…” Kazuya whispered as Jin held him, arms circling around his waist, dangerous close to -
“Stop it!” Kazuya said loudly, pushing Jin away with tears in his eyes as he stared through unshed tears at Jin, who looked shocked, “Stop it Jin”
Jin froze, finally hearing the desperate plea in the voice and seeing the tears welling in those eyes.
“…why? Why did you leave me?” he croaked out, not capable of saying anything else, “Why?”
“…maybe…it was for your own good” Kazuya said, turning away, wiping at his tears, “Maybe I didn’t love you”
Jin got up, chasing after Kazuya, “No, you wouldn’t be crying if you didn’t - Kazu! I love you” he said, in a heartbreaking voice, his voice cracking from the emotion he felt.
“You should never have fallen in love with a freak like me in the first place!” Kazuya whispered loud enough for Jin to hear.
Jin shook his head as he held onto Kazuya shoulder, “What’re you talking about, Kazu-chan? What the hell are you saying? Why -”
Kazuya was beyond hysterical at this point and hearing the pain in Jin’s voice, the desperation, he took Jin’s hand and led it under the layers of clothing that camouflaged what he had been hiding for six months, and placed it atop the obvious large bulge of his once flat stomach. Just as the warm hand rested there, a soft kick came from inside, startling Jin as his looked up, eyes wide.
“I’m pregnant, with your child” the words, hysterical, slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them and with tears in his eyes, he wrenched his arm out of Jin’s grasp and began to run as fast as he could while six months into his pregnancy. Jin stood there, shocked at Kazuya’s words and by the time Jin had shaken out of his stupor, Kazuya was lost in the crowd.
Gone again…
--
In my daughter’s eyes I can see the future…a reflection of who I am and what will be…
--
Kazuya rubbed his stomach as he sat in his apartment in the condominium building that he had started to live in six months ago, because it had been the cheapest, sanitary place he could find. He had been in this position for hours, ever since he had left Jin on the street earlier that day. His shirt had been stripped off as he had taken to doing when he was alone, and the stomach which held the baby was plain, glaring for all to see…but only Kazuya ever saw this. Before today, only two other people knew that Kazuya would be having a baby: his professor, as well as the doctor that his professor had recommended him to, with an explanation of the situation.
And now…Jin did too.
“My little girl” Kazuya said softly as he put a hand on his stomach, “You brought me to see your daddy today”
He smiled softly when he remembered the sudden craving for coffee from that coffee shop that he had gotten while walking down a street seven blocks away.
And as usual, when it came to it, he could not refuse his little girl.
He tried to keep the tears from his eyes as he remembered the confrontation with Jin, and how scared he had been that Jin would embrace him like he had that night and that Jin would find out the truth - the truth behind his departure.
But I ruined it anyways…I told him…even when this is all over, I can’t go back to him at all…
“I guess maybe you wanted to meet your daddy at least once” Kazuya said, talking to his unborn daughter with a sad smile, ignoring the droplets of tears that fell onto his bare stomach.
“But now…I can’t see your daddy anymore…even after you’re born and open your eyes for me”
But…
“I don’t blame you - I wanted to see your daddy too”
Kazuya smiled down at his stomach.
No matter how much change this child had brought to his life, how much he had run away from because of this pregnancy, he would never be one of those people who loathed the child growing inside him…
Because it’s Jin’s child too… Kazuya thought, trying to keep back the tears that were threatening to overflow, And because she’s my little girl…that’s someone no one can ever take away…even if the truth comes out…
A kick came from his stomach and Kazuya smiled through his blurred vision, “You'll take care of me, won’t you, my little girl?”
Another kick.
“You really are your daddy’s child - always being there for me…but you’ve got your daddy beaten; you’re doing it before you’re even born”
“I love you, my little girl” he said, suddenly feeling very emotional as he bent his head and sobs escaped his lips, all the emotions he had been holding back the past six months escaping, “I love your daddy and I love you, and I hope one day, despite everything, he’ll love you too”
Kazuya clutched the blankets, covering his face with his hands as he continued to cry, releasing sharp, heartbreaking cries into the room in which he sat in alone.
--
When I’m gone, I hope you see how happy she made me
--
A sudden, frantic knocking at the door startled Kazuya awake. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, feeling the trace of dried tears on his cheeks and he tried to rub those away furiously. Obviously, he had fallen asleep crying last night. As he did, he glanced at the clock on the wall and groaned, wondering who would be at the door so early in the morning, his body complaining at getting up only a few hours after finally falling sleep last night. Getting out of bed carefully so he did not bump into anything with his stomach, he stretched a bit, trying to get rid of the ache in his back.
Slipping on a large t-shirt that helped to attempt to cover his stomach, he also put on a bathrobe, tying it loosely so nothing too obvious showed and he went to open the door, figuring it was the landlord and something had happened.
He was shocked when he opened the door and saw…
“Jin” Kazuya’s eyes widened and he tried to shut the door and lock it but Jin with a determined look, stuck his foot in the door and kept it from being closed.
“I’m not leaving” Jin said, as Kazuya opened his mouth to tell him to do just that, “I’m not leaving, so let me in Kamenashi Kazuya”
Perhaps it was the way Jin used his full name, something he had not done…ever, but Kazuya blinked in surprise and released his hold on the door, and Jin pushed his way in, grabbed Kazuya’s hand and then slamming the door behind him, locked it.
Kazuya was dragged over to the bed where he was sat down and Jin sat down next to him before suddenly, he untied Kazuya’s bathrobe and before Kazuya could stop him, he lifted the t-shirt up to expose Kazuya’s bare stomach, round with child.
Kazuya stilled, frozen stiff as he looked down, refusing to look at Jin who was staring at Kazuya’s round belly with an intense gaze.
“So it’s true…” Jin said with a strange voice, a crack in it.
“H-How did you find me?” Kazuya asked, his voice shuddering as he kept his gaze fixed on the ground.
“…I remembered that Professor Yamada published an article on the subject of male pregnancy and means of having a child for alternate couples…and that he was your professor at the time you disappeared. It was a wild guess, but I went to him this morning and he admitted he knew where you were”
Kazuya stayed silent, looking down.
“…this is why you left then…” Jin said slowly, trying to control his emotions right now, not wanting to scare of hurt Kazuya who looked so vulnerable right now. His hand remained on the younger man’s stomach and felt the baby inside give a kick.
Kazuya nodded.
“…because you knew you were pregnant”
Another nod.
“…why didn’t you just tell me?”
Kazuya ducked his head even more, shaking his head as tears started streaming down his face.
“Kazuya” Jin said sternly, wanting answers.
No response.
“Kazu” Jin said, putting a hand on Kazuya, who suddenly flinched and looked to his left, at the wall.
Jin sat up straighter, realization dawning in his eyes, “You were afraid of me?”
Silence.
Then Kazuya looked up with eyes shining from his tears and a look of deepest self loathing in his brown orbs, a look that broke Jin’s heart and shattered it into a thousand pieces. He reached out for Kazuya but when the younger man moved away from his hand, he drew his hand back with a wounded look.
“Kazu, I love you - I would never hurt you or anything!” Jin said, in a hurt tone, “Don’t you trust me?”
Kazuya looked up with wide eyes, “Of course”
“Then why didn’t you trust me to keep loving you even though you’re pregnant?”
“Because I’m a man who’s pregnant!” Kazuya cried out, “What do you think went through my head when I realized what would happen? I’m a man who’s pregnant - that isn’t normal in society! Even if you did keep loving me, even if, what do you think people would do to me, to you if they found out - hunted like monsters, ridiculed, hated -”
“Screw society!” Jin said forcefully, taking Kazuya’s hand in his, “Society doesn’t matter - what matters is that I love you…and you love me too, right?”
There was a nod.
“That and our child here, is what matters! It doesn’t matter that we might be frowned upon, even mocked, do you get it?! I don’t care if that happens!”
“…why don’t you…why aren’t you scared, why don’t you hate me?” Kazuya asked softly, tears flowing.
“Because it’s you,” Jin said quietly, “As long as it’s you, nothing else matters! I’ve loved you for years, Kazu, and you know what, I don’t care what other people say, as long as you keep smiling at me, as long as you’re there by my side!”
Kazuya tried to keep more tears from coming as he sat there, having a conversation he should have had six months ago, listening to the words he should have been told six months ago, had he given the one he loved a chance to tell them to him.
“…Jin…” he whispered after a long silence, “…I’m sorry I ran away…”
Jin broke into a smile, tears welling up in his own eyes in relief that Kazuya was finally starting to understand him. He wrapped his arms around Kazuya, “You finally get it?”
“I’m sorry” Kazuya cried into Jin’s shoulder, “I thought I was doing the right thing; I thought you’d be happier. I thought …I thought -”
“I know…I love you” Jin murmured, “I love you too much to let this stop me from loving you”
Kazuya looked at Jin in relief and then took the older man’s hand shyly and put it to his stomach, “The baby - our little girl’s kicking…”
Jin beamed, looking down at Kazuya’s stomach, too overwhelmed to say much at the moment, “…our little girl…”
“My little girl…your daddy came to bring us home…” Kazuya said through happy tears as he smiled at Jin who smiled back lovingly, “Are you happy right now in there? Daddy came for us”
Another flutter of kicks.
Jin beamed happily as he leaned over to kiss Kazuya softly, “I’ll never let either of you go ever again”
--
But the truth is plain to see…she was sent to rescue me…
--
Nearly three months later, Kazuya smiled tiredly at Jin who was looking in awe as he held impossibly small fingers in his hands, gently and then he beamed at Kazuya, “Our daughter…”
Kazuya smiled back at Jin, whose eyes were shining with unshed tears of happiness.
“Our daughter…” he repeated as he watched the baby’s eyes open.
Jin’s smile simply widened as he watched the dark lashes of the newborn daughter, flutter, and he beamed at Kazuya, “Our daughter…she’s beautiful” he said proudly just like the new father that he had just become.
Kazuya smiled and laughed softly, “You love her already don’t you?”
“I’ve loved her for three months” Jin said seriously, “Since the first time I met her…and I love her mother even more”
Kazuya beamed, face practically glowing and Jin leant in for a brief kiss.
Between them, in Kazuya’s arms, a newborn girl looked up at the two with eyes lined with long dark lashes, awe and pure innocence shining in them as the baby looked up at the first sight she would ever see.
Love.
--
I see who I wanna be in my daughter’s eyes…
--