[fic] Lose Me - Ninth Cut ~Peace in Passing~
Title: Lose Me
Pairing: Jin x Kame
Rating: NC-17
Genre - Catch Me: AU, angst, romance, smut, drama, tragedy
Beta by: my cat. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary - Catch Me: A dramatic turn in his life throws Kame into Jin's college world. Almost immediately they notice an attraction, but they spend more time clashing than not.
Summary - Lose Me: Kame and Jin still have the occasional argument but mostly they live happily together. But when someone from Kame's past shows up, will the two be able to deal?
Warning: While "Catch Me" part is more towards the fluffy end of the scale at times, the other three parts have such things as drugs and murder and rape and all the fun parts of a bad neighborhood in a big city. Oh, and character death(s).
On my journal: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_ Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the kattun_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
A/N: Here you go!
Lose Me
Ninth Cut ~Peace in Passing~
Jin went digging through the fridge, looking for something for Kame. Slim pickings. Kame usually took care of this stuff but he’d been busy being in the hospital and all that. Maybe they should have stopped by the conbini on the way back to campus. Shifting stuff around, he eventually found a pack of fried rice with “YAMAPI’S - Touch and Die!” written boldly across it.
He snagged it. He knew Kame would eat it and he was pretty sure that, even if Yamapi would kill him if HE tried to eat it, he wouldn’t mind it if Kame did. He also grabbed an unopened bottle of water.
He had just closed the fridge door when Koki burst into the kitchen. “Jin! Jin!” Koki shouted. “Something’s wrong… Kame…”
Junno was right behind him. “Hey, isn’t that Yamapi’s?” he asked.
Koki hit him on the forehead. “Read the atmosphere, you!”
But Jin wasn’t interested in that. “What’s happened? Where is he??”
“Just took off all of a sudden. Middle of the conversation and then bam! Running down the hall. Pi-chan ran after him.”
“What, exactly, were you talking about?” Jin asked.
“We were just talking about going for karaoke and Tat-chan didn’t want to go but Kame said he did and then Ryo wanted to come too which was fine and…”
Koki never finished that sentence. Jin dropped the container, rice spilling all over the kitchen floor, and pushed his way past his two friends before breaking into a dead sprint towards the only place he believed Kame would go - their room.
He could hear Junno behind him, “All this over karaoke…?”
+++
A knock. A voice. “Kame? Are you in there? It’s Yamapi and Maru. Hello?”
A moment of silence.
Another knock. “Hello?”
A longer moment of silence. “I could have sworn he went this way…” but the voice was fading and then gone.
Another few minutes passed and then the knob jiggled. Another voice. “Kazu-chan? You have my key!” Kame scrambled to his feet, unlocking the door. He grabbed Jin by the shirt and pulled him in. Releasing him, he shut the door back and locked it securely. Here, he was safe. Just had to keep the door locked.
“Safe here…” he murmured, sitting down once more with his back against the door. “I can’t go back to class on Thursday, Jin. I can’t sit near him and pretend I’m okay. I just can’t…”
“Kazu, do you have that little faith in me?” Jin asked in a hurt voice. “Do you think I care so little for you that I wouldn’t take care of that? I got the tape, didn’t I?”
Kame looked up at him, “Oh, Jin, I didn’t mean it like that! Of course I have faith in you; I love you! And I know you love me. I just… I didn’t think…”
“Yeah, well, maybe you should.”
“Jin…”
“I’m gonna go tell everyone you’re okay and not to worry. I’ll tell them you’re resting. Give me my key.” And Jin held his hand out expectantly.
Kame started patting his pockets until he found it. He stood up and walked over to Jin, dropping the key into his waiting hand.
“Lock the door behind me, okay? I don’t trust Ryo to not stop by when he figures out the stuff from his room is gone. No matter what he says, don’t let him in. No. Matter. What.” Even with his feelings hurt, Jin was thinking of Kame. He was right. Kame had done him a disservice by not realizing he would take care of things.
“I promise.” He took Jin’s hand. “And I’m sorry. I’m sure everything will be fine for me when I go to class on Thursday… You’ll see to it.”
Jin smiled softly and put his other hand on Kame’s face, his palm against Kame’s cheek. “You bet I will. I love you Kazu-chan.” They kissed and then Jin left. Kame locked the door behind him, just like he promised.
+++
“No, no, everything’s okay. He just suddenly felt sick so he ran to the bathroom. Then he decided maybe it would be better to lie down after all. But he was in the bathroom still when you knocked; that’s why he didn’t answer.” Jin was doing his best to calm down their worried and far too curious friends while he cleaned fried rice off the kitchen floor.
“Admit it; you were just as worried as us!” Yamapi accused. “That’s why there’s food all… over… Hey! Is that MY rice?”
“Busted, huh?” Jin said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.
Yamapi looked about ready to kill. “Oh, it’s on now!” he roared. Koki and Maru grabbed hold of him to keep him from pouncing on Jin. “Nobody steals my food!”
“But... but… it was for Kame! I was gonna ask first before I gave it to him!”
But Yamapi stopped struggling to get away from Junno and Koki. “Well, if it was supposed to be for Kame… Since he’s sick, I’ll let it go. But you have to go buy me some more.”
“Sure. Just don’t kill me!”
+++
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful for Kame. Jin ended up leaving campus again… something about Yamapi’s rice? And he also bought a couple of bento boxes from the conbini so that Kame wouldn’t have to go later.
The next day, while Jin was in class, Kame spent his time doing homework and studying to catch up on everything he’d missed. It was boring but better than doing nothing. He was pretty fed up with all this resting! Hopefully tomorrow, back in class, things would be normal once more. Life would be what it used to be and last week would be totally erased.
+++
Jin didn’t know how Ueda did it, but he was delighted when Ryo was called to the registration office for rescheduling. Oh, boy, did Ryo look pissed. That thought right there made Jin’s day brighter.
During the rest of the day, whenever they were in the same room Ueda kept quietly trying to attract his attention. What did he want? A pat on the back for having succeeded? Fine, whatever. It was for Kame, after all. He gave a small nod towards him.
Still, as the day wore on, Jin’s curiosity got the best of him so after his last class, he grabbed Ueda before he could run off to… well, wherever he’d been about to go. “This way,” Jin said as he dragged Ueda behind him.
Once they were in the stairwell, Jin asked, “How did you manage it? Moving Ryo, I mean? He looked furious!”
“To quote you,” Ueda said, “none of your business.” But he sighed and then continued, “I don’t know what else Ryo did so I have no scale to judge how bad my crimes against you and Kame really are. But surely, what I did yesterday and what I did today help balance out the scales. How long are you going to stay mad? Will we ever be friends again? I know I was wrong. I know I screwed up. But at least I came to you, or at least tried to, after digging until I got the truth for you.”
Well, that last bit, at least, was true. And because Ueda had told him, Jin found Kame before he had endured yet another attack by Ryo. Still… “I don’t know.”
“You stay mad and yet how can I ever make it up if I don’t know what I caused? Why won’t you tell me the reason Kame went to the hospital? Why won’t you tell me what Ryo did?”
“How about I’ll tell you that if you tell me how you got Ryo’s schedule changed?” Jin said it in a serious tone but really, it was a joke. Ueda wouldn’t tell him. Not with things like this between them.
Jin would never admit it, but he really missed Ueda. He hated being mad at him. But he hated Kame’s pain more.
“Deal.”
Huh?
“I called my father at work and had him call the dean. They couldn’t turn him down.”
…wait, what?
His father?
Jin could only stare slack-jawed. “You called your father?”
“Yes. Your turn.”
But Jin was still in shock. “Your father? You called your father? But…” Ueda and his father did not get along at all. Ueda senior wants Ueda junior to take over the corporation when he’s older but he had other plans. For him to get a favor from his father… Jin couldn’t even imagine what that had cost him.
“Yes. Your turn.”
“Um… I was sort of joking…”
“You’ve got to be kidding me! You lied?”
Jin scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. “Not exactly. It’s just… I didn’t expect you to answer me. I don’t know a whole lot. You already know Ryo drugged him…”
Jin looked to make sure nobody else was around to overhear. He wasn’t sure he should be saying this. It really was Kame’s choice. Still, Ueda did help him get to the truth; maybe he did deserve to hear it. “Apparently, he filmed it. Now, the rest of this I pieced together from Kame’s feverish ramblings. I haven’t actually asked him. I don’t want to remind him. In any event, apparently he used it to blackmail Kame into sleeping with him again. But I don’t think it worked, exactly. I think… I think Ryo ended up forcing him instead?”
A hard lump had formed in Jin’s throat as he spoke. It was a very difficult thing to discuss. “I don’t know how many times… but I get the impression that it was more than once. I finally found Kame freaking out in our bathroom. He was sitting in the bathtub under burning hot water from the shower and he’d scrubbed his arm so hard it was bleeding.”
Jin took a deep breath before continuing. “I turned off the water. I took the sponge away. I put him in bed. He felt warm but I thought it was from the hot water. The next morning he was still hot and he was also delirious. He kept trying to apologize... until he threw up, that is. Or, rather, tried to. He didn’t have much in him to come up. When I got him to the hospital, the doctor said he was dehydrated, exhausted, and probably hadn’t eaten in days.”
“I’m afraid to ask him more that what I already know. He’s… he’s still hurting, even now.” He could see clearly in his mind the image of Kame frantically throwing matches and feel the shock of when Kame slapped him. Jin’s eyes narrowed. “I can’t prove it, but I think Ryo raped him after you and I had sex, something I could have prevented if you’d told me your suspicions. This is what you’re trying to balance against. Ryo continues to hurt him without even touching him and you brought part of this down on him. Can’t you understand why I’m still pissed?!”
“Oh, god… Kame…”
“But if it makes you feel better, I’m just as pissed at myself.” And Jin stalked off.
+++
Kame looked up from his studying as Jin closed the door behind him. “Nee, Jin, you’re better at this than I am. I’m not quite seeing how this word…”
Looking over Kame’s shoulder, Jin replied, “Hmm… I can’t remember. Sorry, it’s been too long. Maybe Maru can help?”
Stretching, Kame said, “Eh, I’ll just take a break. I’ve been at this for hours anyway. Maybe when I come back to it, it’ll magically make sense.”
Jin began to rub Kame’s shoulders. Oh, it felt so good… Kame was almost purring in delight. Closing his eyes, he let Jin work out the knots that had formed at the back of his neck and shoulders. “So nice… Where were you two hours ago?” He sighed contentedly and put his head down on his arms on the desk.
“In class, silly man.”
“Did you get…”
“It’s done. He looks mad as hell, too.”
“Thanks.”
“What, no kiss?”
Giggling, Kame said, “Unfortunately for you, those wonderful hands of yours have magicked away the bones in my upper back, sadly making me unable to sit up enough to kiss you.” He sighed happily again, until Jin suddenly stopped. “Hey, hey, wait! I didn’t say to quit though!”
“Well, I had to!” And now Jin was laughing as well. “It was obviously evil black magic if it made you not able to kiss me.”
Kame spun the computer chair around, stood, threw his arms around Jin’s neck and pressed his lips to Jin’s, one action right after the other in a single fluid motion. He felt Jin’s arms slide around his waist. As Jin deepened the playful kiss into something more passionate, he pulled Kame tightly to him and, Kame noticed, seemed rather glad to have him there. That suited Kame fine, because he was equally glad to be there.
Jin arms travelled down Kame’s back, down until he could lift Kame off the ground without breaking away from the embrace. As Jin carried him towards the bed, the angle of the kiss changed but not the fiery intensity of it. When they reached the bed, Jin sat Kame down, leaning further and further over him until Kame was lying down with Jin on top. Kame moaned his longing into Jin’s mouth.
When they finally pulled apart from the kiss, Kame could see the raw need in Jin’s eyes and couldn’t help but wonder if his own looked the same. Jin slowly began unbuttoning Kame’s shirt and in a rough voice asked, “Do you know how beautiful you are, Kazu-chan?”
Kame couldn’t answer him because Jin began to kiss the side of his neck and his shoulders, nipping every once and again as well. Kame’s eyes fluttered back as he moaned again. But Kame was torn. On one side he had an almost overwhelming need and Jin just felt so good. On the other side, some small panicking voice in him screamed that something wasn’t right. Kame didn’t want to face that voice, so he swallowed it down and focused on the feel and taste and scent of Jin. He unbuttoned Jin’s shirt and ran his hands down Jin’s chest.
Jin moaned and then whispered in Kame’s ear, “See what you do to me?” He licked his way down Kame’s chest as Kame writhed beneath him. Pulling off Kame’s pants, Jin started to tease him with one hand, which caused Kame to whimper his desire.
“Jin…”
But Jin maddeningly kept teasing Kame. “Yes, Kazu-chan?”
“Please... Please, Jin…” Kame cried in a ragged voice.
“Is this what you want?” He took Kame into his mouth.
“Yes, yes!”
But Jin still continued to lightly tease, this time with lips and tongue. Kame was sure he couldn’t take any more of it.
“Jin…!” Kame cried. “Please…!”
Pulling back, Jin said contritely, “Okay, Kazu. I’m sorry. No more teasing.” He stripped off his own pants and with great care, he entered Kame. “It… it doesn’t hurt, does it?” Jin asked hesitantly.
“A bit but don’t stop… Please don’t stop!” To be honest, Kame was worried it would, after… no, better shove those thoughts down. It was the last thing he wanted to think of at a moment like this.
Laughing playfully, Jin kissed him on the forehead. Kame laughed with him and for the next hour the two of them made love. And it was wonderful. Just like nothing ever happened, as long as you didn’t count the dark, panicked thoughts that would occasionally rise before Kame could push them back down. He hoped Jin didn’t notice…
+++
Jin looked at the sleeping Kame in his arms. He let out a sigh that was equal parts contentment, amusement, and relief. He had been scared he’d hurt Kame if he was still sore from what Ryo had... But everything was okay. No, better than okay. Being with Kame felt so right and he’d really missed this.
It made Jin smile that Kame still responded so strongly to his teasing and to see him fall asleep when they finished, just like he always had before. Kissing the sleeping Kame on the forehead, Jin thought to himself that maybe things would return to normal.
He held Kame for a while, softly stroking the sleeping boy’s cheek before slipping out of bed to do his own homework and head to the conbini to grab dinner for the both of them.
+++
When Kame woke up and stretched, the first thing he noticed was that Jin was gone. Glancing at the nightstand, he saw a note waiting on him, telling him that Jin was out to grab food.
Now that everything was over and he didn’t have the feel and scent of Jin to focus on, it was harder to keep the horrible thoughts and memories pushed down deep. And he was sore… really sore, even though Jin had been gentle (at least, at first. Kame blushingly recalled begging Jin to take him harder and faster).
He dressed, still trying to clear his mind of all the images and remember sensations that haunted it. But though they’d die down somewhat, they wouldn’t completely leave.
He felt a sudden wetness on his hand, like a drop of rain had just hit it. Reaching up to his face, he found his cheek was wet as well… Wait, was he crying? No. He couldn’t be crying. Not right now. There was absolutely no reason to cry.
He heard the door behind him and quickly dried his face on his sleeve. He didn’t want Jin to know he had been crying, because of course he hadn’t been. He just couldn’t have been. There wasn’t a reason to cry.
+++
Jin spent several days playing the buffer between Kame and Ryo in the dorm. He noticed Ueda doing it as well but he didn’t say anything. Between the two of them, Ryo never got close and eventually stopped trying. The rest of their friends noticed it but neither Ueda nor Jin offered explanation other than a grunted, “I just don’t like him, so don’t call him over and don’t invite him along anymore, okay?” from Jin.
After that first nerve-wracking day back to class was over, Kame seemed much calmer. He didn’t spend a lot of time going out with everyone because he had several days’ worth of studying and homework to make up, but he insisted that Jin not miss out only to watch him study.
At first, Jin was going to insist on staying, but Kame promised to not answer the door and, besides, he was going to be busy with schoolwork, after all. Jin would probably be in Kame’s way, if he just chilled in the dorm room.
So on Friday, Jin started going out with their friends again to karaoke, game centers, and clubs. He hoped that by the middle of next week, Kame would be ready to come along again.
+++
For Kame, once he was back in class, things did slowly start to get better. He was studying himself to exhaustion but it did provide a welcome distraction… a distraction he was needing less and less as the days went by. He and Jin didn’t have sex for days, but that was because Kame kept falling asleep at the desk, right on top of his homework. Jin must have been carrying him to bed every night, because he didn’t remember Jin waking him up in the evenings but he always found himself in bed with Jin’s arms around him the next morning when his eyes opened. It was very peaceful and Kame thought, so long as he could continue ignoring Ryo, things might actually be okay.
And then Sunday afternoon came along and that’s when it all started to go wrong again.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Tenth Cut ~Reality Can Be Fluid~
A/N: So... what do you think is going to happen Sunday afternoon?
Pairing: Jin x Kame
Rating: NC-17
Genre - Catch Me: AU, angst, romance, smut, drama, tragedy
Beta by: my cat. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary - Catch Me: A dramatic turn in his life throws Kame into Jin's college world. Almost immediately they notice an attraction, but they spend more time clashing than not.
Summary - Lose Me: Kame and Jin still have the occasional argument but mostly they live happily together. But when someone from Kame's past shows up, will the two be able to deal?
Warning: While "Catch Me" part is more towards the fluffy end of the scale at times, the other three parts have such things as drugs and murder and rape and all the fun parts of a bad neighborhood in a big city. Oh, and character death(s).
On my journal: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_ Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the kattun_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
A/N: Here you go!
Lose Me
Ninth Cut ~Peace in Passing~
Jin went digging through the fridge, looking for something for Kame. Slim pickings. Kame usually took care of this stuff but he’d been busy being in the hospital and all that. Maybe they should have stopped by the conbini on the way back to campus. Shifting stuff around, he eventually found a pack of fried rice with “YAMAPI’S - Touch and Die!” written boldly across it.
He snagged it. He knew Kame would eat it and he was pretty sure that, even if Yamapi would kill him if HE tried to eat it, he wouldn’t mind it if Kame did. He also grabbed an unopened bottle of water.
He had just closed the fridge door when Koki burst into the kitchen. “Jin! Jin!” Koki shouted. “Something’s wrong… Kame…”
Junno was right behind him. “Hey, isn’t that Yamapi’s?” he asked.
Koki hit him on the forehead. “Read the atmosphere, you!”
But Jin wasn’t interested in that. “What’s happened? Where is he??”
“Just took off all of a sudden. Middle of the conversation and then bam! Running down the hall. Pi-chan ran after him.”
“What, exactly, were you talking about?” Jin asked.
“We were just talking about going for karaoke and Tat-chan didn’t want to go but Kame said he did and then Ryo wanted to come too which was fine and…”
Koki never finished that sentence. Jin dropped the container, rice spilling all over the kitchen floor, and pushed his way past his two friends before breaking into a dead sprint towards the only place he believed Kame would go - their room.
He could hear Junno behind him, “All this over karaoke…?”
+++
A knock. A voice. “Kame? Are you in there? It’s Yamapi and Maru. Hello?”
A moment of silence.
Another knock. “Hello?”
A longer moment of silence. “I could have sworn he went this way…” but the voice was fading and then gone.
Another few minutes passed and then the knob jiggled. Another voice. “Kazu-chan? You have my key!” Kame scrambled to his feet, unlocking the door. He grabbed Jin by the shirt and pulled him in. Releasing him, he shut the door back and locked it securely. Here, he was safe. Just had to keep the door locked.
“Safe here…” he murmured, sitting down once more with his back against the door. “I can’t go back to class on Thursday, Jin. I can’t sit near him and pretend I’m okay. I just can’t…”
“Kazu, do you have that little faith in me?” Jin asked in a hurt voice. “Do you think I care so little for you that I wouldn’t take care of that? I got the tape, didn’t I?”
Kame looked up at him, “Oh, Jin, I didn’t mean it like that! Of course I have faith in you; I love you! And I know you love me. I just… I didn’t think…”
“Yeah, well, maybe you should.”
“Jin…”
“I’m gonna go tell everyone you’re okay and not to worry. I’ll tell them you’re resting. Give me my key.” And Jin held his hand out expectantly.
Kame started patting his pockets until he found it. He stood up and walked over to Jin, dropping the key into his waiting hand.
“Lock the door behind me, okay? I don’t trust Ryo to not stop by when he figures out the stuff from his room is gone. No matter what he says, don’t let him in. No. Matter. What.” Even with his feelings hurt, Jin was thinking of Kame. He was right. Kame had done him a disservice by not realizing he would take care of things.
“I promise.” He took Jin’s hand. “And I’m sorry. I’m sure everything will be fine for me when I go to class on Thursday… You’ll see to it.”
Jin smiled softly and put his other hand on Kame’s face, his palm against Kame’s cheek. “You bet I will. I love you Kazu-chan.” They kissed and then Jin left. Kame locked the door behind him, just like he promised.
+++
“No, no, everything’s okay. He just suddenly felt sick so he ran to the bathroom. Then he decided maybe it would be better to lie down after all. But he was in the bathroom still when you knocked; that’s why he didn’t answer.” Jin was doing his best to calm down their worried and far too curious friends while he cleaned fried rice off the kitchen floor.
“Admit it; you were just as worried as us!” Yamapi accused. “That’s why there’s food all… over… Hey! Is that MY rice?”
“Busted, huh?” Jin said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.
Yamapi looked about ready to kill. “Oh, it’s on now!” he roared. Koki and Maru grabbed hold of him to keep him from pouncing on Jin. “Nobody steals my food!”
“But... but… it was for Kame! I was gonna ask first before I gave it to him!”
But Yamapi stopped struggling to get away from Junno and Koki. “Well, if it was supposed to be for Kame… Since he’s sick, I’ll let it go. But you have to go buy me some more.”
“Sure. Just don’t kill me!”
+++
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful for Kame. Jin ended up leaving campus again… something about Yamapi’s rice? And he also bought a couple of bento boxes from the conbini so that Kame wouldn’t have to go later.
The next day, while Jin was in class, Kame spent his time doing homework and studying to catch up on everything he’d missed. It was boring but better than doing nothing. He was pretty fed up with all this resting! Hopefully tomorrow, back in class, things would be normal once more. Life would be what it used to be and last week would be totally erased.
+++
Jin didn’t know how Ueda did it, but he was delighted when Ryo was called to the registration office for rescheduling. Oh, boy, did Ryo look pissed. That thought right there made Jin’s day brighter.
During the rest of the day, whenever they were in the same room Ueda kept quietly trying to attract his attention. What did he want? A pat on the back for having succeeded? Fine, whatever. It was for Kame, after all. He gave a small nod towards him.
Still, as the day wore on, Jin’s curiosity got the best of him so after his last class, he grabbed Ueda before he could run off to… well, wherever he’d been about to go. “This way,” Jin said as he dragged Ueda behind him.
Once they were in the stairwell, Jin asked, “How did you manage it? Moving Ryo, I mean? He looked furious!”
“To quote you,” Ueda said, “none of your business.” But he sighed and then continued, “I don’t know what else Ryo did so I have no scale to judge how bad my crimes against you and Kame really are. But surely, what I did yesterday and what I did today help balance out the scales. How long are you going to stay mad? Will we ever be friends again? I know I was wrong. I know I screwed up. But at least I came to you, or at least tried to, after digging until I got the truth for you.”
Well, that last bit, at least, was true. And because Ueda had told him, Jin found Kame before he had endured yet another attack by Ryo. Still… “I don’t know.”
“You stay mad and yet how can I ever make it up if I don’t know what I caused? Why won’t you tell me the reason Kame went to the hospital? Why won’t you tell me what Ryo did?”
“How about I’ll tell you that if you tell me how you got Ryo’s schedule changed?” Jin said it in a serious tone but really, it was a joke. Ueda wouldn’t tell him. Not with things like this between them.
Jin would never admit it, but he really missed Ueda. He hated being mad at him. But he hated Kame’s pain more.
“Deal.”
Huh?
“I called my father at work and had him call the dean. They couldn’t turn him down.”
…wait, what?
His father?
Jin could only stare slack-jawed. “You called your father?”
“Yes. Your turn.”
But Jin was still in shock. “Your father? You called your father? But…” Ueda and his father did not get along at all. Ueda senior wants Ueda junior to take over the corporation when he’s older but he had other plans. For him to get a favor from his father… Jin couldn’t even imagine what that had cost him.
“Yes. Your turn.”
“Um… I was sort of joking…”
“You’ve got to be kidding me! You lied?”
Jin scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. “Not exactly. It’s just… I didn’t expect you to answer me. I don’t know a whole lot. You already know Ryo drugged him…”
Jin looked to make sure nobody else was around to overhear. He wasn’t sure he should be saying this. It really was Kame’s choice. Still, Ueda did help him get to the truth; maybe he did deserve to hear it. “Apparently, he filmed it. Now, the rest of this I pieced together from Kame’s feverish ramblings. I haven’t actually asked him. I don’t want to remind him. In any event, apparently he used it to blackmail Kame into sleeping with him again. But I don’t think it worked, exactly. I think… I think Ryo ended up forcing him instead?”
A hard lump had formed in Jin’s throat as he spoke. It was a very difficult thing to discuss. “I don’t know how many times… but I get the impression that it was more than once. I finally found Kame freaking out in our bathroom. He was sitting in the bathtub under burning hot water from the shower and he’d scrubbed his arm so hard it was bleeding.”
Jin took a deep breath before continuing. “I turned off the water. I took the sponge away. I put him in bed. He felt warm but I thought it was from the hot water. The next morning he was still hot and he was also delirious. He kept trying to apologize... until he threw up, that is. Or, rather, tried to. He didn’t have much in him to come up. When I got him to the hospital, the doctor said he was dehydrated, exhausted, and probably hadn’t eaten in days.”
“I’m afraid to ask him more that what I already know. He’s… he’s still hurting, even now.” He could see clearly in his mind the image of Kame frantically throwing matches and feel the shock of when Kame slapped him. Jin’s eyes narrowed. “I can’t prove it, but I think Ryo raped him after you and I had sex, something I could have prevented if you’d told me your suspicions. This is what you’re trying to balance against. Ryo continues to hurt him without even touching him and you brought part of this down on him. Can’t you understand why I’m still pissed?!”
“Oh, god… Kame…”
“But if it makes you feel better, I’m just as pissed at myself.” And Jin stalked off.
+++
Kame looked up from his studying as Jin closed the door behind him. “Nee, Jin, you’re better at this than I am. I’m not quite seeing how this word…”
Looking over Kame’s shoulder, Jin replied, “Hmm… I can’t remember. Sorry, it’s been too long. Maybe Maru can help?”
Stretching, Kame said, “Eh, I’ll just take a break. I’ve been at this for hours anyway. Maybe when I come back to it, it’ll magically make sense.”
Jin began to rub Kame’s shoulders. Oh, it felt so good… Kame was almost purring in delight. Closing his eyes, he let Jin work out the knots that had formed at the back of his neck and shoulders. “So nice… Where were you two hours ago?” He sighed contentedly and put his head down on his arms on the desk.
“In class, silly man.”
“Did you get…”
“It’s done. He looks mad as hell, too.”
“Thanks.”
“What, no kiss?”
Giggling, Kame said, “Unfortunately for you, those wonderful hands of yours have magicked away the bones in my upper back, sadly making me unable to sit up enough to kiss you.” He sighed happily again, until Jin suddenly stopped. “Hey, hey, wait! I didn’t say to quit though!”
“Well, I had to!” And now Jin was laughing as well. “It was obviously evil black magic if it made you not able to kiss me.”
Kame spun the computer chair around, stood, threw his arms around Jin’s neck and pressed his lips to Jin’s, one action right after the other in a single fluid motion. He felt Jin’s arms slide around his waist. As Jin deepened the playful kiss into something more passionate, he pulled Kame tightly to him and, Kame noticed, seemed rather glad to have him there. That suited Kame fine, because he was equally glad to be there.
Jin arms travelled down Kame’s back, down until he could lift Kame off the ground without breaking away from the embrace. As Jin carried him towards the bed, the angle of the kiss changed but not the fiery intensity of it. When they reached the bed, Jin sat Kame down, leaning further and further over him until Kame was lying down with Jin on top. Kame moaned his longing into Jin’s mouth.
When they finally pulled apart from the kiss, Kame could see the raw need in Jin’s eyes and couldn’t help but wonder if his own looked the same. Jin slowly began unbuttoning Kame’s shirt and in a rough voice asked, “Do you know how beautiful you are, Kazu-chan?”
Kame couldn’t answer him because Jin began to kiss the side of his neck and his shoulders, nipping every once and again as well. Kame’s eyes fluttered back as he moaned again. But Kame was torn. On one side he had an almost overwhelming need and Jin just felt so good. On the other side, some small panicking voice in him screamed that something wasn’t right. Kame didn’t want to face that voice, so he swallowed it down and focused on the feel and taste and scent of Jin. He unbuttoned Jin’s shirt and ran his hands down Jin’s chest.
Jin moaned and then whispered in Kame’s ear, “See what you do to me?” He licked his way down Kame’s chest as Kame writhed beneath him. Pulling off Kame’s pants, Jin started to tease him with one hand, which caused Kame to whimper his desire.
“Jin…”
But Jin maddeningly kept teasing Kame. “Yes, Kazu-chan?”
“Please... Please, Jin…” Kame cried in a ragged voice.
“Is this what you want?” He took Kame into his mouth.
“Yes, yes!”
But Jin still continued to lightly tease, this time with lips and tongue. Kame was sure he couldn’t take any more of it.
“Jin…!” Kame cried. “Please…!”
Pulling back, Jin said contritely, “Okay, Kazu. I’m sorry. No more teasing.” He stripped off his own pants and with great care, he entered Kame. “It… it doesn’t hurt, does it?” Jin asked hesitantly.
“A bit but don’t stop… Please don’t stop!” To be honest, Kame was worried it would, after… no, better shove those thoughts down. It was the last thing he wanted to think of at a moment like this.
Laughing playfully, Jin kissed him on the forehead. Kame laughed with him and for the next hour the two of them made love. And it was wonderful. Just like nothing ever happened, as long as you didn’t count the dark, panicked thoughts that would occasionally rise before Kame could push them back down. He hoped Jin didn’t notice…
+++
Jin looked at the sleeping Kame in his arms. He let out a sigh that was equal parts contentment, amusement, and relief. He had been scared he’d hurt Kame if he was still sore from what Ryo had... But everything was okay. No, better than okay. Being with Kame felt so right and he’d really missed this.
It made Jin smile that Kame still responded so strongly to his teasing and to see him fall asleep when they finished, just like he always had before. Kissing the sleeping Kame on the forehead, Jin thought to himself that maybe things would return to normal.
He held Kame for a while, softly stroking the sleeping boy’s cheek before slipping out of bed to do his own homework and head to the conbini to grab dinner for the both of them.
+++
When Kame woke up and stretched, the first thing he noticed was that Jin was gone. Glancing at the nightstand, he saw a note waiting on him, telling him that Jin was out to grab food.
Now that everything was over and he didn’t have the feel and scent of Jin to focus on, it was harder to keep the horrible thoughts and memories pushed down deep. And he was sore… really sore, even though Jin had been gentle (at least, at first. Kame blushingly recalled begging Jin to take him harder and faster).
He dressed, still trying to clear his mind of all the images and remember sensations that haunted it. But though they’d die down somewhat, they wouldn’t completely leave.
He felt a sudden wetness on his hand, like a drop of rain had just hit it. Reaching up to his face, he found his cheek was wet as well… Wait, was he crying? No. He couldn’t be crying. Not right now. There was absolutely no reason to cry.
He heard the door behind him and quickly dried his face on his sleeve. He didn’t want Jin to know he had been crying, because of course he hadn’t been. He just couldn’t have been. There wasn’t a reason to cry.
+++
Jin spent several days playing the buffer between Kame and Ryo in the dorm. He noticed Ueda doing it as well but he didn’t say anything. Between the two of them, Ryo never got close and eventually stopped trying. The rest of their friends noticed it but neither Ueda nor Jin offered explanation other than a grunted, “I just don’t like him, so don’t call him over and don’t invite him along anymore, okay?” from Jin.
After that first nerve-wracking day back to class was over, Kame seemed much calmer. He didn’t spend a lot of time going out with everyone because he had several days’ worth of studying and homework to make up, but he insisted that Jin not miss out only to watch him study.
At first, Jin was going to insist on staying, but Kame promised to not answer the door and, besides, he was going to be busy with schoolwork, after all. Jin would probably be in Kame’s way, if he just chilled in the dorm room.
So on Friday, Jin started going out with their friends again to karaoke, game centers, and clubs. He hoped that by the middle of next week, Kame would be ready to come along again.
+++
For Kame, once he was back in class, things did slowly start to get better. He was studying himself to exhaustion but it did provide a welcome distraction… a distraction he was needing less and less as the days went by. He and Jin didn’t have sex for days, but that was because Kame kept falling asleep at the desk, right on top of his homework. Jin must have been carrying him to bed every night, because he didn’t remember Jin waking him up in the evenings but he always found himself in bed with Jin’s arms around him the next morning when his eyes opened. It was very peaceful and Kame thought, so long as he could continue ignoring Ryo, things might actually be okay.
And then Sunday afternoon came along and that’s when it all started to go wrong again.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Tenth Cut ~Reality Can Be Fluid~
A/N: So... what do you think is going to happen Sunday afternoon?