More in anger than in sorrow
Open letter:
Dear Comedy Central,
We regret to inform you that your license to televise "roasts" is hereby suspended. You have demonstrated a willful and continuous disregard for the proper connotation of a "roast", in which a celebrated comedian's career (actors or other entertainers are permitted as substitutes on rare and compelling occasions) is lovingly and obscenely mocked by a collection of the finest available talents among his or her peers. For examples, see the roasts of Drew Carey, Jerry Stiller, and Rob Reiner.
Of late, in contrast, you seem to have abandoned the important requirement that the roastee should be a "celebrated" anything, and have just been lining up a bunch of hacks to take potshots at ridiculously easy targets; examples here being Pamela Anderson, William Shatner, and (most recently, and most gallingly) Flavor Flav. We would like to blame this on the fact that you have dissociated yourselves from the N.Y. Friar's Club in putting on these events, but as those worthies have roasted Donald Trump and Don King in two of the last five years, clearly the problem is not that simple.
Nevertheless, you are hereby ordered to Cease and Desist all roast-related activities for a duration of no less than three years; thereafter you will enter a probationary period, and will be allowed to resume roasting -- provided both the honorees and the invited roasters are of sufficient caliber to warrant such treatment. Until further notice, complete lists of attendees at any such proposed future roasts must be submitted to us, in writing, before approval will be granted.
Fond Regards,
--- Ajax.
Dear Comedy Central,
We regret to inform you that your license to televise "roasts" is hereby suspended. You have demonstrated a willful and continuous disregard for the proper connotation of a "roast", in which a celebrated comedian's career (actors or other entertainers are permitted as substitutes on rare and compelling occasions) is lovingly and obscenely mocked by a collection of the finest available talents among his or her peers. For examples, see the roasts of Drew Carey, Jerry Stiller, and Rob Reiner.
Of late, in contrast, you seem to have abandoned the important requirement that the roastee should be a "celebrated" anything, and have just been lining up a bunch of hacks to take potshots at ridiculously easy targets; examples here being Pamela Anderson, William Shatner, and (most recently, and most gallingly) Flavor Flav. We would like to blame this on the fact that you have dissociated yourselves from the N.Y. Friar's Club in putting on these events, but as those worthies have roasted Donald Trump and Don King in two of the last five years, clearly the problem is not that simple.
Nevertheless, you are hereby ordered to Cease and Desist all roast-related activities for a duration of no less than three years; thereafter you will enter a probationary period, and will be allowed to resume roasting -- provided both the honorees and the invited roasters are of sufficient caliber to warrant such treatment. Until further notice, complete lists of attendees at any such proposed future roasts must be submitted to us, in writing, before approval will be granted.
Fond Regards,
--- Ajax.