I lied.

[aislingsullivan]

So, Tara,  I lied. I may have accepted the situation, but I'm not going to get over it any time soon. I am going to be really mad and hurt for a long time. But, I will try not to complain to you too much because that is just going to ruin our moods every time

Comments

[mytaratory]

i've missed like a million of your entries...
but, you have every right to be angry and hurt. And if you are not ready to forgive her, then that is your choice. I will not try to make you. and if you decide that you will never forgive, I will stick by your side always. It will be hard, but YOU are the one that has always been there for me, so I will always be there for you. I am going to try it once more, but she knows, shes walking a thin line with me.

[aislingsullivan]

Yea, I post a lot.

I don't know what to do. Kristen has heard me complain and cry and thinks I should let it go. She thinks keeping someone in your life who just lets you down and hurts you again and again is bad.

I think so too, but I also love her too much. Are the good times worth it?

I haven't decided yet. I'll decide when she works up the courage to speak to me again. I never realized I could be that scary lol.

[mytaratory]

honestly, you have so much power over her, you dont even realize it. She loves you and knows that shes fucked up so unbelievably much. When she eventually comes to you, which she will, you will know what to do. You cant keep thinking about what you "should" do, or whats "right", you have to do what you want. Forget what I say, forget what Kristen is saying, figure out what is it that you want. It will not be an easy decision, and it will not just pop into your head, but it will happen. You will figure out what you want. And like I've said before, with whatever decision you make, I will support it. There will be a moment when it will all just click and you'll know exactly what it is that you have to do. But until then, I am here to listen to your complaints.

[aislingsullivan]

Thank you. It's amazing how important it is, just to have someone there to listen. And having someone there to support you is even better :)

I know that I can't make a decision until she talks to me. But, you were right about what you said the other day. I'm always confident in my decisions. I take a while, but then I just know somehow what's right (for me anyway). It'll happen.

You sounded like Noah in that comment though - "Don't think about what I want, don't think about what he wants - What do YOU want?" Lol