Along For The Ride - 5/?
Title : Along for the Ride
Pairings : 2min, Jongkey, Minkey, (maybe) Jongtae
Genre : Angst, Fluff, Slight (if any) Smut
Rating : M for language and possible smut
Word Count : in progress
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Taemin had never felt so tired in his life.
Waking up, he felt as if a wave crashed over him and he’d submerged to the deepest pit of the ocean with no care to move his arms or legs or even blink to acknowledge the blurred vision getting darker. But when he finally opened his eyes-after much self persuasion that he wasn’t actually in some unknown ocean-he was still less than thrilled. His body felt as if he’d been run over by a steamroller, and then it reversed over him and went back and forth like that for a good hour or so. His bones were fluid and wispy and not there.
Sure, he wasn’t necessarily a morning person, but never had it been to this degree.
When he’d pushed himself up, his body hovered over his pillow on unsteady arms before they caved in. He let out a sigh into the pillow his face was once more meshed into before rolling until his feet swung over the edge of his bed. His feet planted to the floor and he allowed himself to gather the feeling in his legs before standing. His movements were sloppy and limited, but he was able to make his way to the bathroom to get ready for his day.
It got better, though. He’d been lucky enough to sit on the bus ride all the way to the school, and again in his mathematics class for the whole three hours. And afterwards he sat in the school’s canteen catching up on some eighteenth century novel for his literature class next Monday. Yeah, his morning had been very uneventfully eventful, if possible.
What worried him was the dance class later on in the afternoon.
It wasn’t the class itself that worried him. He could have easily told the instructor that he had pulled a muscle. That would have been all right with said instructor and he’d have been able to sit and watch the other students or leave if he wished. The real problem was a certain blonde hyung that was very particular over him. There would be questions. And to most, questions required answers. And to some, those answers were expected to be truthful. But he had been lying to plenty of people all this time, so surely he could handle another batch of lies.
Although a small twinge of hope ignited in him. Lately, Kibum had been focusing more on Jonghyun than anything else. About two months had passed since the day his hyungs met and they had gotten closer. They weren’t dating, per say. But Taemin noticed all the stars in Jonghyun’s eyes when he’d be texting or talking to Kibum on the phone. He noticed the brightness ooze into Kibum’s attitude when he spoke of some ‘crazy stupid, but insanely adorable’ whim Jonghyun'd have as entertainment. Personally, Taemin couldn’t be more confused. He had known Jonghyun for practically his whole life and the ‘whims’ Kibum so dearly enjoyed always seemed to bring Taemin and Haeri and Haera trouble. Having Kibum and Jonghyun so close was like both of his brothers flirting with each other. But with more attention on Jonghyun, Kibum was less likely to pry into Taemin’s life-and the same for Jonghyun.
Unfortunately, that also meant less time for Minho.
And with Minho unable to see his favorite person as much as he was used to, he took his frustrations out on Taemin, or more directly Taemin’s body. What was once two or three times a week turned into twice in one day for three to four days a week. It was more time spent with Minho. And as much as he treasured any time spent with Minho, he knew his hyung was only using him because of the hurt for Kibum. So the more Minho came to Taemin, the more the red head realized how much his hyung was hurting.
“Taemin-ah.” Taemin looked up from his book at the voice of one of his classmates, blinking in confusion. “There’s a cute guy in a blue car the parking lot looking for you.”
Taemin stood and bowed to her before leaving the canteen in search of this person looking for him. His brain twisted and swerved trying to figure out who it could possibly be. As far as he knew, Minho’s car was black and Jonghyun’s was a rusty reddish color. It wasn’t until he got to the student parking lot and saw a familiar honey brown head that he remembered Jinki had a blue car. Taemin smiled in response to Jinki’s own smile in which his eyes either disappeared or shrunk into slits. “Taemin-ah, it’s been a while.”
“Neh, hyung. What are you doing here?”
Slowly, the smile faded and his expression turned serious. “You didn’t get a text from Kibum?” Taemin unpocketed his phone. It was turned off with no desire to cut back on given the annoying tri-beeping noise when Taemin tried to. Jinki nodded in understanding. “Ah, so that’s why. Here, I have a universal car charger if you want.”
Taemin took it, hooking up his phone before looking back at Jinki. “What do you mean ‘that’s why’? What happened?”
Jinki let out a sigh. “Kibum send me a text message. A couple of them, actually.”
“What did they say?”
“He told me he sent it to you, but you never replied back,” Jinki inhaled hesitantly. “He and Jonghyun are dating now.”
Taemin’s eyes widened as his body froze. Shock wasn’t it, but would suffice for the moment. He looked down at his hands emptily while Jinki allowed him time to process it. “He sent one to Minho, too, didn’t he?”
“And because neither you nor Minho replied to him, he freaked out and is crying at his apartment as we speak.”
“Crying?!”
“He thinks his two favorite dongsaengs don’t approve of the relationship. So use my phone, and call him so he knows you approve or whatever.”
“Approve?” Taemin looked up out the window blinking slowly. “But…I don’t. I don’t approve of it.”
Jinki paused, looking at Taemin curiously. “You…don’t?” Taemin shook his head. “But why not?”
“Because…” Taemin spoke softly. “Because Minho loves hyung. How can I approve of something that hurts him?”
“So you disapprove?”
Again, Taemin shook his head. “Ani. Because Kibum hyung and Jonghyun hyung are both happy together. I can’t find fault in something that makes them both happy.”
“Not to be a jerk or anything,” Jinki patiently tapped the steering wheel with his thumbs. “But isn’t this a good thing? Kibum is officially off the market. Now’s your chance to make Minho look at you.”
Taemin shook his head sadly. “Hyung, I really don’t have a chance when his heart is already taken. He will never see me the way he does Kibum hyung. And I’m okay with that.”
“Are you really?” Jinki frowned when the younger nodded, still staring down at his palms. “I don’t like it.”
Taemin looked up in shock. “What do you mean?”
“That’s not fair to you, Taemin-ah. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I think you deserve more than you give yourself credit for. Whenever I question things about you and Kibum and Minho, you only ever have bad things to say about yourself. And I totally get how some people have identity issues or whatever, but with you, you use these things to defend-or push away-from a relationship that could possibly form and make you happy.” Jinki looked at him curiously. “Don’t you think you deserve to be happy?”
“I am happy, hyung.”
“I can clearly see you’re not.” Taemin opened his mouth to respond but Jinki shook his head. “I know the difference in your real happiness and fake happiness. You show your real smiles and laughter around Minho when he’s not got his head far up Kibum’s ass. So I know the difference.”
Taemin shrugged. “There’s really nothing I can do about it, hyung. I know Minho hyung. He’s competitive and persistent. He won’t have a change of heart just because hyung is unavailable.”
“Just like you?”
For the first time since he started hiding his feelings for Minho, Taemin’s mask cracked. A few tears rolled down his cheeks and he let out a bitter chuckle. “Yeah. Just like me.”
Jinki bit his lip as he watched the younger pull his face into his hands, unsure of what to do to make Taemin feel better, while also realizing there wasn’t really anything he could do.
==
Insufferable.
That was the only word Taemin could think of that would only begin to describe Jonghyun and Kibum. They were always together. And a small part of him wished he’d been joking. Jonghyun would make time in his schedule to pick Kibum up after his classes-and if Taemin was unfortunate enough to catch a ride with them he’d end up suffering the forty-five minute drive to work or the hour drive to Kibum’s apartment hearing their ‘flirting’. Kibum would invite Jonghyun to Minho’s Friday afternoon games at the park so they could cuddle and make kissy faces and get lost in their own world while he and Jinki would try to ignore them by focusing fully on Minho’s uncharacteristic fumbles or misses.
The Thursdays at the café had been intruded upon by ‘googly eyes’ and the two of them playing footsies under the table (Taemin had found out the disturbing way when he felt Jonghyun slide his foot along the underside of his legs). It got to be so much that the group outings soon turned into ‘let’s ditch them at the door, they won’t notice anyway’ which, of course, they hadn’t.
But no matter how annoyingly weird their relationship was, Taemin found himself warming up to it. He noticed how much more Kibum smiled since Jonghyun became a part of his life. He’d go off into a daze in the middle of their cooking class doodling Jonghyun’s name in hearts and thinking up names of their future children (Hyun Ki for their first son with his nose and hair and Jonghyun’s eyes, Soo Jin for their only daughter with his hair and eyes and mouth and Jonghyun’s personality, and if they were lucky enough Dae Hyun for their baby boy who’d have a bit of each father with Kibum’s hair) until Taemin reminded him there was no egg-carrier in the relationship so those outcomes would be highly improbable.
Even his Jonghyun hyung that helped him with his English homework in primary school and taught him how to drive and always made sure he had everything he needed was turning into a girl right before his very eyes. Taemin had found an unmarked cd in the elder’s car and played it, surprised to hear his hyung’s voice belting out the cheesiest and most vomit-worthy lyrics he’d ever heard in his life all self written and dedicated to Kibum, who in turn shed his own Amazon river and kept the song on replay at his house.
As insufferable as it was, Taemin couldn’t help but see the appeal to their relationship. They were both happy and in love. He couldn’t not approve of something that made two people he loved happy. It gave him a view of something so precious, and he was thankful to be able to see something he’d never be able to have himself.
==
“Sorry, I can’t come.”
Taemin lay in bed buried deep under the covers with his phone to his ear. When he woke up that morning, his face was caked closed in dried mucus. He had to drag himself to the bathroom practically hunched over to wash it off, and then shower since his clothes were once again drenched in his own sweat. It hadn’t been a problem back in the spring or summer or fall. But it was the middle of winter and it had snowed another three inches overnight. His nightly sweats were prone to give him a head cold or slight fever that would last for a few days. The plus side in it all was that classes were out until after the New Year.
And to celebrate the Christmas break, he had planned on going on a weekend trip with his hyungs where only Jonghyun knew the destination. But he had come down with something rendering him helpless and barely floating in and out of consciousness as he tried hearing whichever hyung he had randomly dialed.
“Why not? We planned this for so long.”
He couldn’t tell which hyung he was talking to. The only thing he could discern in his hazy state was whining.
“Sorry,” he tried sounding as normal as possible, which was harder than it sounded with his stuffy nose and dry throat. “Something came up suddenly. Mianhae.”
“Taemin-ah, are you alright? You don’t sound so good.”
“Ani, I’m fine, ahjumma,” and to contradict his statement, a fit of coughs erupted from his chest and echoed through his room.
“’Ahjumma’? Taemin-ah, you’re sick aren’t you?”
“Aniyo.” His nose tickled a bit before a loud sneeze flew out, leaving a pressure in his face. “Apa apa apa.”
“I’ll be over soon, Taemin-ah. Get some rest, arasso?”
“Neh, ahjumma.” A low chuckle was the last thing he remembered before fell unconscious again.
-
When he woke up there was something warm and wet on his forehead, he had been tucked under too many covers, and the humidifier was plugged in the corner of the room. He sat up slowly-oh, so slowly-and removed the cloth as he looked around. The brightness from outside seeped through his window, blinding him. He held his face in his hands, hissing at the rapid pumping blood in the vein in his forehead. And as if that wasn’t enough, there was a not so pleasant scent of something wafting around the room.
“Taemin, what’s wrong?!”
He’d jumped at the sudden loud voice and felt a pair of hands crawling all over him, searching for harm. He turned his head and squinted open one eye to see Jonghyun with worry painted all over his face.
“It’s bright.”
It took only seconds for him to realize what Taemin meant. He jumped up and closed the curtain before going back to the younger’s side. “Better?” He let out a relieved breath when Taemin nodded. “Good. How long have you been sick, Taemin?”
Taemin cautiously laid back down, looking uncomfortably stiff. “Last night,” he was interrupted by a sneeze before continuing. “But it wasn’t this bad.” He promptly kicked off the blanket and wiped at his forehead. “Hyung, why is it so hot in here?”
Jonghyun looked down at him skeptically. When he had gotten to the younger’s house he found the heater had been frozen over from the snow. So to suffice he gathered all the blankets he could find to wrap the red head in. He himself had to keep his gloves and scarf on for it being too cold. “Hot? Taemin-ah it’s freezing in here.” He bent over so he was leveled with Taemin. He removed his glove and touched Taemin’s forehead with the back of his palm. “Tae, you’re burning up!”
Taemin felt a lurching in his stomach. He’d moaned and wrapped his arms around himself. “Hyung, what’s that smell?”
“Smell?” Jonghyun glanced down at the tray of ramyun he had forgotten when he saw Taemin hunched over in pain earlier. “Ah, I made ramyun. I would have bought something, but I know umma always makes me soup if I’m sick. And you had a lot of them in the kitchen.”
“I can’t eat that, hyung.” Taemin could smell the loud pungent scent f the powdered seasoning, and something dropped harshly inside of him. “Oh, god.” With newfound energy, he bounded out of bed and dashed to the bathroom, throwing his head over the open toilet seat and heaving up the little bit of noodles he forced down the night before.
“Shit,” Jonghyun stood in the doorway shaking his head. “It’s really bad. I’ll call the others and-”
“No!” Taemin shook his head, which was still hovered into the toilet bowl. “Don’t call them, don’t tell them. I’ll be fine.”
“You threw up from smelling ramyun. You called me ‘ahjumma’. That’s not my definition of fine.”
“I don’t care. I don’t want them to know.”
Jonghyun sighed. “Fine. I wont tell them. I should at least tell them the trip is canceled.”
At this, Taemin lifted his head a bit. “Why?” Jonghyun simply looked back at him. “Because of me? No, that’s not a reason, hyung. I’ll be fine. You guys should go and have fu-” he threw his head back down as more of the foul substance burned his throat coming up.
“Right. Well, I’ll be here with you until you’re ‘fine’. Better yet, call me when you’re finished in here. I’ll go pack your clothes. I’m taking you to my house. Umma will know more about what to do.” He left out before Taemin could protest, not that it would have done any good anyway.
The whole process was blurry. He nearly floated from the bathroom to the front door to Jonghyun’s car where he fell asleep. In his dream he was floating in a stream of lemonade on a raft made of cinnamon sticks. There were grassy fields and trees made of cigarettes. He could see Kibum and Jonghyun smiling and looking up at the orange sky from the grassy plain. Sitting in a tree he saw Jinki holding a tape recorder pointing it at a blue bird before it flew away. And then there was Minho walking through a field of yellow flowers hand in hand with Kibum. A smile on both of their faces as they leaned into each other for a couple of kisses that broke his heart. And soon he couldn’t see anything besides the blurry figures of Jinki, and Kibum and Jonghyun, and Kibum and Minho. All smiling faces soon turned to scowls as they watched him on his little raft down the lemonade river. And they waved and pointed after him as his raft crept upon a waterfall. He tried calling for help. He didn’t want to go down the waterfall. But they all just continued waving and turned away, disappearing before his eyes. There was smoke spilling from the tops of the cigarette trees. The waterfall was closer now. And down he went.
“Sweetheart, it’s time for your medicine.”
Taemin peered from under his lids into the face of Jonghyun’s mother. She held a glass of water and a couple of pills as she stared down at him. He sat up and blindly reached for the small white pills, bowing slightly in appreciation. After swallowing them, and the water, he looked around and noticed he was in Jonghyun’s room.
“How are you feeling?”
Taemin let out a small yawn before replying. “Tired. I feel a bit better than earlier, though.”
“Earlier? Honey, you’ve been out for two days. It’s Sunday.” Taemin’s eyes enlarged with the news. “Well, you were in and out of consciousness the whole time. Judging by your expression, you don’t recall anything in between.”
“Mianhae.”
She laughed and patted his head gently. “What for? You were sick. It’s perfectly normal to be drowsy.” She walked over to the door to leave, but turned. “Jonghyun is downstairs looking for something for you to eat. He’s been worried sick all weekend. Hasn’t left the house since he carried you up here. He said something about you getting sick from the soup he made Friday? It freaked him out.”
“I, ah…” Taemin scratched his head and closed his eyes. “I don’t remember anything.”
She smiled and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, Taemin-ah.”
He watched as she left and looked down at his hands. He’d been sleep for two days. He had been at Jonghyun’s place for two whole days. He had worried Jonghyun and his family. He knew if Jonghyun hadn’t gone to his house he would have gotten through his fever just fine. He’d done it before plenty times. Not that anyone knew. But with Jonghyun and Kibum dating, that sort of put a damper on his list of excuses. Before, his excuse to Kibum would be he had work and for Jonghyun it was ‘he had plans with friends’. Since Kibum and Jonghyun were almost always together, and Jonghyun and Taemin had almost the exact same shift, the lie wasn’t justifiable.
“Taemin-ah?”
Jonghyun knocked on the door and walked in with a plate of unsalted crackers and a glass of orange juice. Taemin bit his bottom lip, noticing the fear etched into his hyung’s features. “Hey, hyung.”
Taemin could see the tears clouding over his eyes and frowned. Jonghyun, on the other hand, let out a relieved laugh. “I guess you are better, huh?”
“What do you mean?”
“Before, you were calling me ahjumma," he chuckled nervously. "Taemin, you were really sick.” Jonghyun put the plate and glass down on the bedside table and sat next to the red head on the bed.
“It couldn’t have been that bad.”
Jonghyun shook his head and inhaled shakily. “You were crying and throwing up in your sleep. Choking. But you wouldn’t wake up. We had to keep you on your side so it would flow into the bucket,” he pointed to a black bucket beside the bed on the floor. “And then you were sweating heavily, I had to change you every two hours or your clothes would be soaked.”
Taemin blinked as he watched Jonghyun. Red-faced, glassy eyed, unsteady-breathed Jonghyun. “I’m so sorry, hyung.”
Jonghyun grabbed the younger and engulfed him in a hug, allowing the tears to roll freely down his cheeks. “I was so scared, Taemin. I’ve never seen you sick before. You’ve never been sick before. So when I saw you laying there all unconscious and defenseless, I didn’t know what to think. You have to take better care of yourself, arasso?”
Taemin felt his heart light up and he couldn’t help but smile into Jonghyun’s shoulder. He nodded, “Don’t worry, hyung. It’s all right. I’m all right,” and his smile widened despite the little nagging voice in his head telling him that no, everything would not be all right.